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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding - anything you wish you'd known before?

98 replies

hotfuzzra · 16/04/2015 19:30

Hi all
I'm going to an antenatal breastfeeding workshop to give mums- (and dads)-to-be my experiences.
I am happy to give my story and specifically spread the message about undiagnosed tongue tie, 6 weeks of shredded nipples, thanks DD! but wondered if you lovely MNers could tell me if there is anything you wish you'd known about breastfeeding before you gave birth?
Thanks in advance Flowers

OP posts:
Bolshybookworm · 17/04/2015 11:20

20 minutes?! 45 minutes was standard for both of my cd when they were newborns, and they were good feeders. I thought this was fairly normal. I certainly didn't worry about it, it was the ideal length of time to watch an episode of the Killing Grin

Bolshybookworm · 17/04/2015 11:23

WRT bfeeding your second child- that your boobs have "memory". My milk supply was much stronger second time round (which meant no cluster feeding Grin).

Micah · 17/04/2015 11:33

Yy bolshy :)

Mine never unlatched! I just left them there and that's why I think I got no pain and my nipples were fine.

It did mean I got a lot of "no milk" "have a break" formula pushing though. I figured I was fine with it, dc seemed happy, so just let them.

easterlywinds · 17/04/2015 12:55

I know longer than 20 minutes can be normal but we see quite a lot of mums who feed constantly because their babies don't have a good latch. Many of these have subsequently been diagnosed with poor tongue function associated with tongue tie. If they're falling asleep on the breast rather than feeding then breast compressions can be introduced to help baby along. Of course, many mums enjoy sitting down and watching TV so for them it's not a problem. But for others it starts them questioning the quality of their milk.

Bolshybookworm · 17/04/2015 17:22

Whilst long feeds may be associated with feeding problems they are also completely normal for newborns. By suggesting that they are something that needs attention (when not associated with other problems eg weightloss or overly frequent feeding) you risk pathologising normal behaviour. Thinking that over twenty minutes feeding was unusual would have made me very anxious in the early days of feeding (thankfully, I was blissfully unaware and just made sure I had a cup of tea to hand Wink).

It's really important that women know what's normal in a newborn as well as what can go wrong.

beth1987 · 17/04/2015 19:55

Also you can go to breast feeding groups/baby cafe before you have your baby, I thought it would be werird but a girl comes to ours andI think she has found it useful

squizita · 17/04/2015 20:51

YY Beth we have pregnant ladies at ours! Your local children's centre, maternity team or nct should have details.
On that topic- they are superb places to learn to latch on without flashing or realise baby is a looker rounder so learn scarf skills or decide you're "ostentatious" like I did haha before whipping one out in Costas/the park etc. Grin

milkyway1304 · 18/04/2015 05:04

It might all be fine! I read lots before having my baby and was expecting sore nipples, hcps pushing formula, never sleeping. I really expected bf to be a terrible chore and was hoping to get to 6 months but prepared to stop earlier. However she took to it like a duck to water, I never opened a tube of lansinoh, she fed frequently in the day and slept well at night from the beginning. I did find cluster feeding really tough but just needed to know it would end after a few weeks. At almost 1year I have had nothing but support from her HV, paediatrician (routine visits for other issue) and GP. Family and friends another story! Now I realise of course that forums will naturally be populated by those seeking help. While I recognise that we were extremely lucky I would love to have heard that sometimes it all does run smoothly.

squizita · 18/04/2015 12:38

Milky same here. Only one issue - we had a slight weight gain blip ... and the HV gave me details of breastfeeding helplines and the local NCT! Grin Which never happens in Internet - land!

time2deal · 19/04/2015 13:28

I'm trying to put together a little set of baby feeding (breast and bottle and combi) stories on a blog. Just two there now, but might be helpful as case studies for you.
dodgingtigers.com/feeding-the-baby-what-worked-for-me/

hotfuzzra · 23/04/2015 19:29

Thanks everyone for your comments, all really interesting. Flowers

OP posts:
33goingon64 · 23/04/2015 20:36

HV gave me a fab tip to get a good latch - run nipple down baby's nose and top lip to activate the reflex that makes them open their mouth wider. Then pop nipple in and they should get a good latch.

33goingon64 · 23/04/2015 20:40

And if you need to break the latch, because it's hurting or you think they're just playing, or whatever reason, don't just yank nipple out but use your little finger to break the latch. It'll help save your nipples from more pain.

namechangedalready · 23/04/2015 21:02

That nipple shields will make it possible if used for the first few weeks (for 2 DCs, first one bfed for 17 months, current one now going strong at 5 months)
That no one notices/cares/comments negativrly when you feed "in public"
That the sofa is your friend if you get everything to hand: snacks and drinks, remote, iPad, phone etc.

33goingon64 · 23/04/2015 21:03

I kept a bowl of snacks and a full pint of water by the chair I used for night feeds (remember to top it up before you go to bed) and also had a radio with digital clock on it within reach so could listen to world service and keep an eye on how long DS had been on each boob.

flamingtoaster · 23/04/2015 21:25

That tongue tie can make breastfeeding very difficult/impossible - I had successfully breastfed my DS but had to give up with DD after three and a half weeks due to the pain and the fact she was making me bleed. Tongue tie was not understood then.

Hubnut · 27/04/2015 20:13

I went to a ante-natal class on breastfeeding and was also told "if it hurts you are doing it wrong" and was shown a film of babies seeking out the breast and hey presto - feeding! There was no mention of problems.

Like a lot of people I found the first few weeks painful. I ended up watching loads of youtube clips of good latch and read "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" - both helped and the latter motivated me to keep going.

I also used nipple shields when it was at the peak of pain - they helped, and I wish I'd known to ignore all the talk of them confusing the baby.

I love breastfeeding now (7 months in) and am so pleased I managed it. I feel quite proud of myself but keep it to myself so am not accused of smugness!

flowerygirl · 28/04/2015 16:00

That all midwives/HVs give different advice. I was told when I had DD 20 mins on one boob, offer second boob for 5 mins. As in, main dish then pudding if they'd like it. This suited us both fine.

'On demand' was never suggested to me by health professionals but it's all my friends have been advised. Some seem shocked that I didn't feed my baby as soon as she cried.

I don't think any book or class can prepare you until you have your baby in your arms. But what an amazing experience when all eventually goes well and settles down!

scandip · 28/04/2015 16:07

That for many people it is virtually impossible and there is no help available.

icclemunchy · 28/04/2015 16:39

That just because you didn't/couldn't feed your first doesn't mean you can't feed subsequent babies.

DD1 wouldn't even entertain the idea but DD2 has taken to it like a duck to water despite being a bit prem spending time in nicu and being really quite poorly to start with

Jojo13 · 28/04/2015 16:40

So glad my midwife told me about nipple shields. I know some people hate them but they really helped as I had flat nipples after about a week. Once I started using, little one was well away..!

Also, like others have said, I was naive about how much of my time breast feeding would take, once I accepted that it was pretty full on and normal for him to feed so frequently, I relaxed into it a bit more.

hackmum · 09/05/2015 11:11

There's so much stuff. Some of it is individual, though. Like a lot of people, I was completely unprepared for the fact that the baby could feed for hours at a time - and of course all the books etc pretend this doesn't happen, so I thought it was just me.

My HV always told me that I shouldn't feed my DD to sleep - that I should always put her in her cot awake. I ignored this advice completely but always felt slightly guilty about it. I recently read another expert (there are so many, aren't there?) who said that feeding the baby to sleep is perfectly fine and normal.

I wish I'd known that not everyone has a let-down reflex - I didn't, and I never really understood what it was.

Finally, and this is possibly peculiar to me, I wish I'd understood about breast abscesses. Early on I had what appeared to be a blocked milk duct that wouldn't go away despite massaging it. I then developed a red spot on my breast which I knew was a sign of mastitis - I expected to develop a fever at which point, I thought I'd go to my GP. I didn't, so I didn't really know what was wrong.

I eventually did go to my GP and it turned out that the blocked duct had become an abscess without going through the intermediate stage of mastitis (all the books will tell you that an abscess only arises from untreated mastitis). I then had the most horrific experience with a variety of hospital doctors who didn't know how to treat a breast abscess. I won't bore you with all this, though, as it's a long and painful story.

ToftMum · 12/06/2015 14:12

Oh I could write a book on this. Struggling now to feed DS2 after a tongue tie and now thrush but we're on day 12 and (just about) still going.

I disagree on the 'pain is normal' thing - if you are in pain, get help with positioning and latching as soon as possible or see your GP if you suspect an infection/mastitis. Help certainly won't make it any worse and pain is NOT good for your mental health.

Everyone you speak to has a different advice on what will work - by all means try it all but in the end you just have to decide whose advice to follow.

Finger feeding can be used if you need to give formula/expressed milk but want to avoid a bottle. This looks like a faff but actually is pretty nice as you still get to connect with your baby by touch, and Dad can do it too.

There is lots of great support out there - midwife-led breastfeeding cafes are great for practicing a good latch and for moral support. Use them early on and you're more likely to 'get it' sooner.

If you do end up supplementing with formula do not despair - you can get back to exclusive bfing although it takes some work to get there.

...and if all else fails, try not to beat yourself up.

MrsMarigold · 21/07/2015 21:31

day three after the birth your boobs are as hard as rocks and you look like Dolly Parton, I remember looking at them in the shower and being shocked.

Milk spurts everywhere including all over strangers in public.

It is hell at first but you grow to love it, get baby checked for a tongue tie immediately.

tiktok · 21/07/2015 22:18

Sorry, Mrs marigold but that is just ridiculous. Milk spurts everywhere inc over strangers, in public.

Rubbish.