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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Severe reflux - leave to cry in Moses basket?!

46 replies

hanflan · 19/02/2015 08:34

Hi all. We have a 9 day old with suspected reflux (seen several consultants already about it!) and slowly going insane. We have tried everything so far, infacol, infant gaviscon, ranitidine, special formula, keeping her close to me in a sling during the day, but we cannot sleep with her on our chests at night as we are far too wriggly and do not feel it is safe at all. When we put her down in her crib at night she cries and screams with discomfort for a very very long time. Is is terrible of us to leave her like this so that we can get some sleep?! She does eventually settle, I have just tried everything else to get her to sleep and nothing else works, we are beginning to make silly mistakes due to tiredness... What would you do? Is leaving her to cry (when no other option) terrible?

OP posts:

icklekid · 19/02/2015 08:40

Could you take it in turns to hold her so you both get some sleep? I couldn't sleep if ds was crying. I guess it depends how long it takes for her to settle but at such a tiny age knowing she was in pain I couldn't. ..

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 19/02/2015 08:42

I'm sure you have already tried it, but we found raising the Moses basket a little helped DS. We just put some blocks of wood under the legs at one end.

hazeyjane · 19/02/2015 08:43

is she propped up at all to sleep? You can get something called a sleep wedge babyreflux.co.uk/collections/wedges and sometimes babies with reflux sleep better on their sides.

Ds had very bad reflux as a baby (and still has reflux now) and would pretty much not sleep unless he was being pushed in a buggy, or on one of us. I am afraid dh and i just took it in turns to sleep with him propped up on one of our chests, but we had many nights of having to just walk around with him.

I wouldn't have felt happy to leave him to cry, but we didn't with any of our children. He was also at high risk of choking due to excessive secretions - so it wasn't an option to leave him.

Sorry, hope her reflux settles down soon.

timeforacheckup · 19/02/2015 08:44

Could you work in shifts so one of you sits up while other sleeps for 4hrs or so the swap? I couldn't sleep if dc were crying and in pain but I suppose it depends how long she cries for before settling. It must be very hard for you and I hope things improve soon

Phoenixfrights · 19/02/2015 08:44

No I don't think it's a good idea. It's very hard I know as I've been there, but sleeping in shifts until it gets sorted is the order of the day.

Justmuddlingalong · 19/02/2015 08:44

Poor wee mite. She's in pain and so tiny. I agree with the turn about suggestion.

DixieNormas · 19/02/2015 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singalongsong · 19/02/2015 08:49

I couldn't and wouldn't leave a 9 day old to cry especially if its because of reflux and pain. Screaming for a 'very very long time' would exhaust a baby so it slept yes. But no I dont think it should be considered an option.

I slept upright with my reflux baby in a sling/took turns with H so we could sleep in shifts/used a dummy/tried different formula until baby found one that agreed with her. Ask a family member to do a daytime babysit so you can catch up on sleep? But I really would not/could not leave a baby that small and in pain to cry.

It will get easier. But the first few weeks(months!) are hard

hairylittlegoblin · 19/02/2015 08:50

I think you might have to take it in turns to hold her for a while. Sorry, I know that's not the answer you want. It's exhausting and horrible but if she's only 9 days old then screaming for ages is actually quite normal, even without reflux. Will she settle in a baby bouncer? They're not recommended for long periods but I think if it keeps her settled for a while it might be worth it. My friend's DS had reflux and practically lived in his as a baby!

When do you next see a doctor about
this? Could you bring the appointment forward?

You have my sympathy, it's absolutely horrible.

GraceGrape · 19/02/2015 08:56

I know it's hard, but if there's any way to avoid this I would not leave her. Is co-sleeping an option if your DP were to sleep in another bed? I did this with my silent refluxer from about the same age. She was in her sleeping bag and slept on her side facing me with my arm around her and her head resting on my upper arm. She slept quite well like this. Alternatively, would she settle for a short stretch of the night in her car seat or a bouncy chair that is propped up?

Also, get back to the GP ASAP and ask for Omeprazole - it was the only thing that worked for us.

Heels99 · 19/02/2015 08:58

She is 9 days old! No you can't leave her to cry you will have to take it in turns to sleep. It is very very hard, I had twins and One had reflux and some nights neither of us even got into bed let alone went to sleep!
The ranitidine did work though for us. Ask for a review of the meds.
It won't be like this forever! Newborns are no picnic unfortunately.

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/02/2015 09:01

Can she have Omeprazole yet? Or is 9 days too young?.

Original poster

hanflan · 19/02/2015 09:02

Hi all, yes we have Moses basket propped up, we can't really do shifts as such because DH has to work, and co sleeping is not an option for us, ee roll over far too much, had a scare the other night when DH tried having her on his chest! The thing us, she screams like this whether we are cuddling her, in bouncer, walking around, in car, in crib, everything! So holding her doesn't even soothe her! :(

OP posts:

Slongette · 19/02/2015 09:09

Get yourself a baby bjorn babysitter - it helped immensely with both mine and my sisters refluxy babies. If has 3 different heights to keep baby upright and more comfortable.

Baby can sleep in it if need be and it will give you a break

CunfuddledAlways · 19/02/2015 09:14

My three month old has awful reflux as did one of her sisters, I found early on with both of them they where more.comfortable.lying on their stomachs so that is how.I put them to sleep at night, the consultant I saw has no issues.with this as.we.have a fitted Moses basket sheet

marmitelover · 19/02/2015 09:15

I thought the medication took a couple of weeks to work? I would echo what others say - take it in turns and give some of the things you've tried some time to work.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 19/02/2015 09:21

Have you seen an osteopath, it is one of the things on here that some people find useful.

Did she have antibiotics after the birth, or did you have any around the time of the birth or shortly before? My son had a gut bacterial imbalance (actually no antibiotics implicated in his case) and needed antibiotics to correct it, then probiotic treatment afterwards. It took an expensive private stool analysis to get to the answer.

If you can borrow some different seats / beds etc to try you might find something to make her comfortable, baby hammock, bouncing reclining chair, baby nest.

Good luck, I hope you find ways of getting some rest.

Original poster

hanflan · 19/02/2015 09:22

Thanks all. I understand what you are saying, I don't want to just leave her, it breaks my heart! But at the moment neither of us can function and it is really upsetting us. She won't sleep anywhere! ARGHHH I hope this phase passes soon because I feel like I can't cope :(

OP posts:

Original poster

hanflan · 19/02/2015 09:24

All my my NCT friends are out and about and meeting for coffee with their newborns and I am stuck in the house because even in pram etc she just screams and screams so I just feel I can't even get out of the house with her :(

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 19/02/2015 09:29

Please get out and about, even if she still screams. Put her in a sling and have some time out of the house. You'll go bonkers stuck indoors. Good luck, I hope you get to the bottom of it soon.

worserevived · 19/02/2015 09:44

I'm in exactly the same position, with an 8 day old ds. I suffer from reflux myself and wouldn't leave him to cry because I know just how painful and uncomfortable it is to lie flat.

Lots of good suggestions above, and here's what is working for me (although I'm still sleep deprived!):

Raise the moses basket to a 45 degree angle. During the day when you are able to keep a very close eye it is ok to put her down to sleep on her side or her front. This was a tip from the midwife. My ds is able to sleep much more comfortably that way.

Don't be a victim during the day. Put her in a sling and go out and about, meet your friends, get your jobs round the house done. A tiny baby in a sling isn't much of an obstacle. You can even sit in a cafe wearing the sling, provided you check she isn't over heating.

Co-sleep as suggested above with her on her side, head on your arm. You'll be uncomfortable and probably won't sleep yourself, but you will be able to close your eyes and rest, and possibly transfer her to her moses basket once she is asleep.

Smaller feeds more often. The midwife watched ds feed and told me he was a guzzler, and would sleep easier if his stomach wasn't completely full. She was right. I liked this midwife, she was old school, not particularly 'correct' in her advice but with years of experience. Her advice was do whatever you need to but be vigilant.

It's tough, I had to hold ds upright for 5 hours straight the other night, so you have my sympathy.

MigGril · 19/02/2015 09:55

Do you have a sling? A stretchy wrap type being the best position for a newborn. pop baby in it and go for a walk. DD had reflux used too be sick everywhere would only sleep in the day in the sling or on me, hatted the pram with a passion.

I did find getting out helpful strangely enough she cried less out and about don't know why. Distraction maybe or just seemed that way, consequently we spent a lot of time out of the house.

Propping her on her side to sleep her also, and although I didn't do it with her I did put her brother to sleep on his front. And wish I'd been brave enough to try it first time round. I do think regardless of your DH working he still needs to help with the sleeping issue. And you can't really leave a 9 day old baby to cry like that no matter how hard it is. A lot of us have been there and know where youarecoming from get any extra rest you can but please don't leave your baby to cry on their own. it really does make a difference if they are being held and crying out being left.

Maybe your husband could do a late shift and you get a block of sleep in the evening or he could get up early and leave you in bed to get some more sleep then. it's about survival at this age really.

ApplesTheHare · 19/02/2015 10:29

Aw so sorry to hear this, dd is only just getting over reflux at nearly 6 months, I feel your pain! In the early days we found the only way she could comfortably settle was if fed to sleep on her side and put down like that in her crib with a rolled up towel behind her to prop her up. HV and GP said that was ok from a SIDS pov.

tinkerbellvspredator · 19/02/2015 10:34

Is the special formula you've tried the hypoallergenic cows milk free one, if not ask for it.

hazeyjane · 19/02/2015 10:36

With ds we were prescribed Enfamil at one point and it made ds a lot worse, screamed and screamed, unforunately with reflux, a lot of things are trial and error.

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