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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding beyond 6 months - why does everyone think i am strange!?

50 replies

ZacharyZoo · 23/10/2006 13:32

DS is six months old on Thurs, was never able to bf my two DDs, so its been a real pleasure to bf him. Intended to do it for 6 months, but it has come around so quickly and i don't want to stop but seem to be getting lots of comments from friends, family and DH that its about time i stopped. I work three days a week, so he has three bottles of formula at nursery but the rest of the time is bf, he is also eating solids really well and i think this is why i am getting the negative comments, its almost like he doesn't need breastmilk anymore and i am doing it more for me than him. I am sure that the bf has made him much healthier than my girls were, he has never been to the doctors, whereas they were always there for colds, asthama, eczema etc.
I want to continue to 12 months, but my DH is really against this, but i get really upset at the thought of stopping. I know he will be my last baby, so maybe thats why i am hanging on... i would love to know what you think? Never been in this situation before.

OP posts:
WelshBoris · 23/10/2006 13:33

to be blunt

fuck 'em
he's your son you do whats best for you

Tutter · 23/10/2006 13:34

i don't think you're strange

if it helps

agree with wb - feck em

RanToTheHills · 23/10/2006 13:34

was/am in same situation, unexpectedly so. Suddenlty everyone else was stopping and it became an issue. Ignore it, go with yr instinct. You're not alone!

TheBlonde · 23/10/2006 13:35

Ignore them
Do want you want

harpsichordcarrion · 23/10/2006 13:37

there is no reason to stop, no reason at all.
there are lots of reasons to carry on. why is your dh wanting you to stop?
as for family and friends... well, what Welshboris said

agalch · 23/10/2006 13:37

Well done ZZ !!!

If you are enjoying feeding still then there is no reason to stop.It'd be daft to imo.
I have bf ds1 till he was 2.5 yrs and dd1 till she was 22 months and now bf dd2 who is 12 weehs.
Why does your dh want you to stop? If mine said that i'd tell him to eff off but thats maybe just me

My advice fwiw is keep it going,if you stopped now you'd always regret it.
good luck x

misdee · 23/10/2006 13:38

ignore them.

btw you CANNOT force a bay to breastfeed, so if he is still wanting it, then carry on. it cant be more for you than him. its a even street.

chocolateshoes · 23/10/2006 13:40

I think you should carry b/f if that's what feels right for you and baby. I had similar reactions from older family members & colleagues who thought it was odd (I b/fed to 14mths). You are doing it for him, and if he didn't want it he wouldn't take it. Many babies do self-wean around 9 months for example. Even though he is eating solids he still needs milk intake. It is far better that this should be breast milk than formula or cows.
Britain has one of the worst breast-feeding records in Europe and i'm sure its because of so many narrow-minded comments that make you feel like some sort of freak!
Stick to your guns!

mammaduck · 23/10/2006 13:41

You carry on ZacharyZoo!

Agree with all advice on here. If he still wants to BF, go for it.

I'm still BFding little duck (13 months) and intend to stop when he decides he doesn't want it any more, and there are tons of MNers on here who have BF even longer than that.

katyjo · 23/10/2006 13:43

Hi ZacharyZoo!
I feel exactly the same as you! My ds is 7 months and I have been working a half day a week at work on sat for the last 2 months and to start with I was going to give him formula and stop bf but he wasn't bothered about having formula or ebm and I have started just feeding him when I get back from work at 1pm and he has juice in between. I am returning to work a full day a week from next week and I feel a huge amount of pressure to stop bf and just give him formula, but I don't want to I now love bf, I feel like I am doing the best for ds and I feel needed - whats' wrong with that? Soon the will grow up and not need us anymore! I plan to keep feeding morning and night until he is a year and I will work something out for in between times.
I think DH would like my boobs back, feels that ds has stolen them...who's the child?
It is only for such a short time, do what makes you and ds happy or you will regret it.

girlsAboysD · 23/10/2006 13:45

The WHO actually says extended brestfeeding for up to 2 years old! At the end of the day, it is you and your son that will get the benefits and it's really nothing to do with anyone else. It's just their opinion, but they are not actually going through it, and they won't be the ones feeling upset if you stop before you feel happy to. I breastfed 3 of my children for 2 years each and am currently feeding for the 4th time, dd is 8 1/2 mths old and we are fine. I do get the odd "when are you going to wean her off?" But generally other people warn them "not to go there" as they have already heard my opinions on the matter (tee hee), if you know what I mean. It's good for him and it's good for you so enjoy it until you (or he) decide it's time to stop .

tiktok · 23/10/2006 13:45

ZZ - ask your dh why he objects so much.

Then come back on here and we will give you some cast-iron points to respond with!

One thing you can use with anyone who comments is to say ' are you saying the baby doesn't need milk any more?'

Objector person: well, er, no, of course not.....

You: so why would cows milk (which is all formula is, really) be better for him than human milk?

Collapse of objector in the face of your devastating logic, I hope

popsycal · 23/10/2006 13:47

ignore them

my reply to people when they ask when will i stop feeding ds2 who is now 20 months is
'i don't know. he likes it, it is good for him and i like feeding him'

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/10/2006 13:49

Do what you and DS want. If DS didnt want to b/feed any more he'd soon stop - they normally do self wean. Sod everyone else. They cant make you do anything you dont want to, and if they even attempt to suggest you may be doing him a disservice by continuing to b/feed him then you put them straight with a few facts from here....

I have had the same - comments along the lines of "You dont actually need to feed him anymore, do you?" (with your breasts at HC)

Even at the doctors last week the locum GP said, after I queried the medication he was giving me was suitable whilst b/feeding and he said "But he's 18 months! Why are you feeding him still - you dont need to? Its 12 months you feed them to"

I picked this point up with another GP on Friday, and she also said "Thats great - but, you dont need to keep feeding him." Then came the discussion about the "benefits" of b/feeding over formula - but formula was just fine, and past 12 months they can have cows milk etc etc etc.

It can be hard work, dealing with all the critics, but well worth it.

Original poster
ZacharyZoo · 23/10/2006 13:50

Thanks! Don't feel like such a social pariah anymore. Going to continue, you are so right about them growing up quickly, my DD1 is 12, and i don't know where the time went. I am enjoying every minute with my boy, i know how time flies, before i know it he will be at school... i will have stopped bf by then.. really! Good to talk to people who see where i am coming from.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/10/2006 13:53

Oh, tiktok - quick question - The GP said that the WHO recommendations are an average, but apply more in developing countries where clean water and knowledge of mixing up formula properly is an issue, and that it DOESNT apply for countries such as ours because we dont have problems with clean water etc. We just shouldnt give cows milk before 12 months due to increased risk of allergies.

So, am i right in thinking this is wrong?

Original poster
ZacharyZoo · 23/10/2006 13:54

Thanks tiktok, will speak to DH tonight and let you know, oh god just remembered MIL will be round tonight and she is even worse. Thinks bf is "disgusting", so better not get on the subject with her.... this is the woman that drank 2 bottles of wine on the one occasion i asked her to babysit and was unconscious on the sofa when we got in!

OP posts:
bctmum · 23/10/2006 13:58

VVVQV - your gp is talking complete cr*p about the who bf - it applies everywhere

ZZoo - do what you think is best for you and your baby - your family doesn't appreciate what a great job you're doing giving your LO breastmilk - from your breasts!

mammaduck · 23/10/2006 14:02

at your MIL ZacharyZoo!

I'm guessing you've not asked her to babysit again?!

VVV - tis true that formula feeding in the developing world creates loads of problems due to their often appalling lack of clean water , but that doesn't mean it's not good for western babes to have some breastmilk into early toddlerhood.

hotmama · 23/10/2006 15:42

Zacharyzoo - I'm with you on this one. I'm still feeding dd2 at over 8 months. At the outset I intended to get to 6 months - but now - well it's just sooo easy and I'm on maternity leave so I've kept going.

I stopped bf dd1 at 10 weeks and regretted it so much - I feel I have conquered my demons IYKWIM by carrying on with dd2. So if you want to then carry on - it's hardly as if your lo is permanently attached to you breast is it!

I just ignore the petty comments - tbh I can be quite arsey and because of helpful mners I know my facts - so they soon shut up!

JennyLeEVIL · 23/10/2006 15:57

I breastfed untill 11 months and 3 weeks and only stopped as ds was biting, do what you want its not up to anyone else, and once you stop thats it after about a few days

Twohootsandapumpkin · 23/10/2006 16:20

I bf'd my DD until 14 months. Stopped and then about 10 days later she got a nasty gastro bug. I felt awful as, if I'd carried on feeding her, I could have fed her throughout this period (and given her comfort), as it happened I pretty much had to starve her with just water/diarolyte (sp).

I wish I hadn't given up when I did and that I'd carried on until she was 2. I bowed to pressure (albeit the silent type IYSWIM) from DH, family, friends etc as there were not many others breastfeeding and those that had, stopped long before me. However, in my defence she was biting more and more and it just wasn't letting up (I started to fear for my nipples!) so that was also going round in my head.

I really believe DD has had more bugs/colds since coming off the breast which makes me very sad

Only the other day she pulled my top down and pointed at my boobs and did the 'milk' sign which made me want to cry! I desperately miss it She is 18 mo now btw.

Moral of this rambling - do it until you or your DS decide enough is enough/yr circumstances change - no-one else should have a say really!

tiktok · 23/10/2006 16:39

VVV, your doc needs a little bit of a lesson

Firstly, the 'no cows milk till 12 months' is nothing to do with allergy. Did he really say that? It's mainly because of concerns about iron - the concern is that because cows milk is relatively low in iron, a baby might fill up on it at the expense of iron-containing solids.

Secondly, the WHO policy is a world-wide one. There are health benefits to continuing to breastfeed that apply to all children. In the UK and other western countries, the risks posed by impure water do not apply, but that doesn't mean the breastmilk that UK babies does no good!

tiktok · 23/10/2006 16:39

breastmilk that UK babies does no good = breastmilk that UK babies get does no good

DrJo · 23/10/2006 16:55

ZZ

Don't think there is anyone here who has disagreed with what you are doing - you are certainly not strange. You keep on as long as the two of you are enjoying it! - If tiktok's devastating logic doesn't work you can always point out that it is free food and saves on energy and money (in boiling kettles and sterilising bottles)

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