Breastfeeding beyond 6 months - why does everyone think i am strange!?

[ZacharyZoo]

DS is six months old on Thurs, was never able to bf my two DDs, so its been a real pleasure to bf him. Intended to do it for 6 months, but it has come around so quickly and i don't want to stop but seem to be getting lots of comments from friends, family and DH that its about time i stopped. I work three days a week, so he has three bottles of formula at nursery but the rest of the time is bf, he is also eating solids really well and i think this is why i am getting the negative comments, its almost like he doesn't need breastmilk anymore and i am doing it more for me than him. I am sure that the bf has made him much healthier than my girls were, he has never been to the doctors, whereas they were always there for colds, asthama, eczema etc.
I want to continue to 12 months, but my DH is really against this, but i get really upset at the thought of stopping. I know he will be my last baby, so maybe thats why i am hanging on... i would love to know what you think? Never been in this situation before.

If you are upset at the thought of stopping dont!!
Ignore MIL lol at her babysitting antics not very reassuring for you.
Wish my lo would take anything from a bottle she is still totally breast fed at 17 /nearly 18 m and thriving but the odd ebm feed would give me a break. But I am loving the closeness and I know there are no more lo 's for me so will give up when she starts losing interest or is around 2 --I will try to go back to work then. my dh is content enough to share mine boobs that is for the time being he is used to it I b/f dd3 til 22months and dd2 til over 1 y old.

good luck enjoy !!

agree about the free milk -just tot up the tins of formula has cost him a few mars bars though for energy of course.

Thanks Tiktok and bct and mammaduck.

I was pretty sure that was the case, but, having had a male locum tell me the week before that b/feeding should be until 1 year, then when I took it up with the GP the following week because i felt he was incorrect - she then said the standard b/feed minimum 6 months, no cows milk until 12, no need for b/feeding to 2 years in the UK etc. I always feel a little intimidated by medical folk when face to face - I mean, they trained for 8 or so years - I didnt.

I might right to them and put them straight.......

zz...i am envious of you if you can feed until a year because i would dearly love to but will be very difficult with work etc.

But... i disagree with the posts saying f* everyone and it's your child etc.

Clearly your dh has a reason for his opinion on it. If it can be emphasised to him that it really is superior in terms of health benefits and that there are less trips to the dr etc. Surely he would want the best for his baby too?

Gosh can't believe this post. In my circle everyone is still Bfeeding at 12 months. And it is now recommended to keep going until your child is 2! Why is husband not pleased that you want to continue to support your son's health? Ask him? A child of 6 mths still needs his mother's milk. My GP (who is usually pretty good) told me I'd done my bit when my DD reached 6 wks! That's an old fashioned view now, I think. I stopped when my DD got to 8 mths as she refused me and would bite me to bleeding. I was sad to give up then and still miss it.

Well done ZZ,you are not alone.You are giving your baby the best possible start.DD is nearly 11 months and Im still bf despite critical comments from M-I-L.Know what you men about the "last baby" thing.Only bf ds for 4 months and switched to ff when went back to work,but am expressing and storing for dd as she will not drink formula at all.I feel I have babied her for longer but dont see a problem.She is happy and I am happy so think thats all that matters!!

It was never commented on to me, even up to 1 year. Does it depend wher eyou live - North and working class bottle feed contrast London, midde class breastfeeding norm, fathers will have read books about breastfeeding and be for it etc.

Why is your husband against it?

I bf my ds until he was 19m and already pregnant with dd. I weaned dd when she was 23m, only because I felt it was time to, but I think if it was up to her she would still be feeding. I also intended to bf for 6m as was recommended back then, but when 6m came round he just seemed to tiny to stop. Stopping felt as if it was the end of him being MY baby and having to start sharing this very special feeding time with other people. I just couldn't do it, I didn't want to loose that closeness I felt during the feeding.
My GP also gave bad advice, he said I should stop as soon as my ds cut his first tooth as it rotted their teeth!! As it was, ds was only 16 weeks!! Luckily being a member of the local bf support group I knew better. Also I sent my cmw after him and he never said it again
And my own mum was the one commenting on how long my dd was bf-ing, while my MIL was more supportive having bf 3 children up 2 12m herself. I must say I admire her for that as that was some feat back in the 60's.
And finally I agree with a lot of the others. Find out why your dh doesn't want you to bf any more, but just ignore any other familly member. I'm sure your dh will understand once you explain why. Especially when your lo is still so small.

Not read all the threads but just wanted to say I have had a similar reaction and my DD is only 8mths. Some (ignorant) people have implied that I am somehow needy or a crazy hippy dippy type (no offence intended ) for wanting to do this beyond 6mths. I don't care though and intend to keep going until a year then see how I feel then!

Xenia, not sure about your contentious question about north/south divide. There are educated people everywhere not just in the Capital. The terms 'middle and working class' are outdated now as they don't represent the complexities of our society. However I agree with you that opinions on BF differ in different circles. And how you/hub feel about BF can be affected by your family or peer group.

Had a chat last night with DH about his views, i think he has a worry about me still bf when DS is 5! and thinks that its easier to stop now than it would be when he is a toddler. But to be honest i am more determined now after all your comments to keep going til i or DS is ready to stop. You are so right that it is special time that only i get with him, i spend three days a week away from him at work and i love that time with him when i come home. I suppose i am a bit of a hippy chick at heart... oh and i am from the North and DH is a southerner, though we live in the South. I don't think DH knows anyone whos wife/partner bf, whereas a lot of my friends have, so its a whole new world to him! Thanks for all your supportive comments, i am now going to happily bf til whenever. Going up North to visit family tommorrow, no doubt will get plenty of comments from my mum who cannot understand why i bf in the first place!

Hello again ZZ. I can understand your hubs concern but babies much older than yours forget the breast very quickly once they are off. My sister BF her 2 until 13mths and just stopped one day and gave them a cup of milk instead. Both were fine with it. I stopped at 8 mths, giving DD a cup instead and she was more than happy as she was frustrated with the 'slow flow' of the breast anyway. 2 days after stopping BF, I offered her the breast to see what her response would be and it was as if she had never fed from me.

Thats another thing at the moment for me, i don't leak milk during the day at work (thank god!), but i am really ready to feed when i get home, and i usually do one feed during the night aswell. If he sleeps through, i am leaking milk everywhere by the morning, so stopping at this stage will be really unconfortable. My milk supply still seems really good, so i will keep using it!

The engorging thing definitely settled down for me after about six months or so, so that's another reason to continue. I bf'd both mine to about a year (11 months for DS1, 14 for DS2) and was back at work by the end, doing morning feeds, (sometimes) evening feeds and the whole weekend - the milk supply came so much more "on demand" (no engorging, no lack of supply) after the first six or seven months, so this could improve. To begin with, though, I used to sometimes just go to the loos and express some (but not keep it) just to ease any discomfort.

Of course I agree with everyone who says you should follow your own feelings. A lot of people are simply embarrassed about you using your breasts for what they were designed for (rather than posing for playboy) - I've actually found that it's the middle class types who think they should approve who are sometimes the worst because they don't want to admit that they feel uncomfortable. It is sad that they're embarrassed, but it is not the right reason to stop you bf'ing.

I'm still feeding my 22 month old ZZ and I couldn't possibly care less what people think. It's absolutely no-ones business but yours and your baby's.

BTW the world average age a child stops BFing is something like 6years. It's only in Western culutre, with our weird distorted ideas about breasts, where curtailed breastfeeding is the norm.

You go girl. Good for you. And tell your DH this is not his territory so back off.

Hi ZZ,
I'm still bf my dd whos 14 months. Most of my family and friends are used to it now and have stopped asking me when I'm going to stop.
They all think I'm wierd and that I don't NEED to be doing it anymore etc. My mum says she thinks I should stop for me as nobody else can put her to bed etc
It used to get on my nerves telling everyone all the time and dealing with the reactions but now I just say I'll stop when SHE wants to.
Well done for feeding for this long.

i thought it was quite usual practice to bf until at least 12 months

and recommended by who

It is common knowledge that breast is best and well publicised. But for how long one should keep it up is not so well publicised, therefore opinions and attitudes differ. If you read up on BF, go to workshops etc, then you're likely to know that feeding up to 12mths is good and standard these days. But I guess a lot of people don't inform themselves to that extent and just rely on what they are told in antenatal classes (which really just covers getting BF established) and phrases on posters like 'B is B'.

Message withdrawn

god how I loathe the expression "breast is best"
it is so trite and meaningless. and almost always said with a deep sigh and bracketed by the phrases:
"yes I know "breast is best" and all that BUT.............(reason number 3453703890 why you are a weirdo for actually wanting to feed you child with your own milk when there are nice, clean, tidy bottles available)"
blablabla

That does seem to be the view of the anti bf brigade, that it is unnecessary, when you could use formula, almost like people only bf when there was no formula, and now there is there is no need! I didn't realise that the average age for stopping bf worldwide is 6, thats unbelievable, when you think what the "norm" is in the UK.

Pitchounett you are so right about the feeling of closeness that it gives you, i have really suprised myself how much i enjoy it. Because i could never bf my daughters i could never understand why mums enjoyed it, but now i have done this for six months, its amazing!

I feel sad reading this thread now because I didn't really enjoy BF that much. I did it for my LO. I am totally pro-B and expected to just love it. But I didn't really get those feelings of closeness. It was okay but not wonderful. But now it's over I really miss it and sometimes feel sad when I see other mums BF. Hopefully I'll have another shot at it.