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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

breast feeding constantly and mum exhuasted!

27 replies

wigglebumsmum · 11/10/2006 11:57

ds is three weeks old and feeding every two hours. He is happy gaining weight and lots of delightful nappies but i am exhausted. Night feeds seem to just run into each other- by the time i have fed, winded and settled him back down its tiem for the next feed and i am running on empty. added to this we are moving to cyprus in a fortnight and so during the day i am trying to get other things doneand catching up on sleep os not realistic. any ideas/siggestions?

OP posts:
CappuccinoTheHaikuPedant · 11/10/2006 11:59

wait a bit

they get older and feed less

bit hugs in the meantime

ask all manner of people to take baby out for a walk in the pram while you go back to bed

CappuccinoTheHaikuPedant · 11/10/2006 11:59

big hugs, not bit hugs

belgo · 11/10/2006 12:01

A three week old feeding every two hours is normal,and for you to feel exhausted is also normal at this stage. I really recommend that you try and catch up on sleep during the day! Can someone come round and give you a hand? And try not to worry aboyt housework, maybe you can get a load of ready meals in to save you cooking?

Swizzler · 11/10/2006 12:18

No advice, but just to let you know you're not alone. DS refusing to settle at night and feeding constantly. Sleep when you can (will soon follow own advice )

amijee · 11/10/2006 12:21

I really really feel for you - esp as you can't just concentrate on you and the baby but must be worrying about the move. But it is really important to rest in the day - i didn't in the early days and think i suffered as a result. Don't try to be some kind of superwoman like i was trying to do and juggling millions of things when all you should be doing is focussing on yur baby. Could dh/dp do some of the preps for moving?

Btw, are you moving to cyprus with the military? I was there on and off for 18 mths - beautiful country.

lucy5 · 11/10/2006 12:25

I'm afraid it's normal but it doesn't last. Could you pay the removers to pack for you?

TiggernPooh2 · 11/10/2006 12:50

I too feel for you. I demand fed my ds now 1, All I did was feed day and night sometimes more frequently than 2 hourly if he wanted it.

It does get better and they will feed less.

As for moving we moved with army when ds was 3 months and if you are too they will arrange for the packing to be done for you.

My friend said they packed everything, even the full kitchen bin (not nice unpacked a week later in Germany!!!)

Lots of huggs in the meantime and hang in there. Also try and sleep in the day if you can (I never could) get someone to take them out for a bit.

TiggernPooh2 · 11/10/2006 12:54

also not sure what you do at night but we have the cot with 3 sides against our bed so you don't have to get up to feed, just move over feed and go back to sleep again. This was a lifesaver for me as you don't really have to properly wake up. Each to their own though!!

saffymum · 11/10/2006 13:39

HI, totally understand you must be feeling exhausted. I fully support breastfeeding and getting lots of rest when the baby sleeps. Eat well and drink lots of water. Try the cot-next-to-bed thing or put the baby between you in the bed, move the pillows apart and put the baby in the gap so you don't squash it in your sleep. Then when it needs feeding just reach over. Otherwise if you don't have any really big problem with formula, you could try and give the last feed in the evening at eg 10:30pm as a forumula feed in a bottle. This will fill the baby's tummy and make it sleep for longer, giving you a bit of a rest. You don't have to do this forever, just until you have caught up with your rest. Also you could get your partner to do this feed while you bath and have a break. I did this after 6 weeks and it was like winning the lottery! Good luck

clarinsgirl · 11/10/2006 14:22

I breast fed a very hungry baby for 9 months and the first couple of months were very tiring (especially after c-section and stay in ICU). Saffymum gives great advice on bringing baby in with you with pillow - you can virtually feed in your sleep. Also you could try expressing milk then DH can take a turn. I also found it helpful to remember that although exhausting, what I was doing was wonderful and the most important job ever.

MamaMaiasaura · 11/10/2006 14:28

wigglebumsmum - ds would feed every 2 hours for hours at a time. Drink plenty of water, DONT do too much re move to cyprus. Get friends and family to ralley around to help. My ds eventually found his thumb which he used for comfort rather than me.

Had ds next to bed in crib, although i was so knackered we ended up co-sleeping

It doesnt last forever and you sound like you are doing a fab job.

sweetheart · 11/10/2006 14:30

I found the same as you when ds was small (now 10 months) and I'm sorry to say that I just couldn't cope with it. I would have loved to be better at breast feeding but I'm just not! It didn't help that dh used to make a "mooing" sound at me everytime ds cried to be fed!

I ended up expressing for him so that I could build up a store and dh could do a turn with the night feeds. i did this for 4 months and then put him onto formula.

loulou33 · 11/10/2006 15:16

My ds is now 9 months and he was exactly the same at 3 weeks. You must rest when not feeding etc as you need all your energy to make good quality milk. Breastfeeding is tiring and a full-time job on its own without all the other things you've got going on. I did far too much and although i had lots of milk i'm not sure it was rich enough so my ds never went more than 2/3 hours without a feed even when 3 months old. I think he used to get really hungry by the end of the day poor lamb. I did what saffymum suggested and gave my ds a night time bottle so dh coudl take over and i could get some rest. The first night, he slept for 5 hours - i can still remember how wonderful I felt when I woke after that sleep!!
One thing my mother in law said to me: 'you must be doing something right if he's gaining weight and is happy'.
Good luck

bluejelly · 11/10/2006 15:37

Don't worry about winding too much, bf babies are much less windy ( in my experience-- I never winded my dd once!)
Sleep in the day when the baby is asleep.

MamaMaiasaura · 11/10/2006 21:58

in addition to prev posts, my little guzzler is now 6. I bf for first 12 months and am very glad i did. He wouldnt take bottle at all so did express either, only thing different I would have done was feed him in a lot more places as I ended up isolating myself to feed.

Sweetheart, really felt for you with your dh's comments - mooing sounds. What a git, it would be more appropriate to moo if giving formula surely? I think sometimes it can be a harder choice to bf, i wonder if some guys take umbridge to bfing as baby gets 100% attention from mum and they are on the sidelines.

MamaMaiasaura · 11/10/2006 21:59

bluejelly - good post

hermykne · 11/10/2006 22:00

the first six weeks are tiring, can you postpone your move or go a wee bit later than the rest of your family.

Original poster
wigglebumsmum · 12/10/2006 08:26

thank you everyone- good to know thats it's normal and that it does get easier. mil and mother keep telling me to start him on formula for tha last feed which i am loathe to do but getting close to giving in just in the hope of nore than an hour or two of unbroken sleep. amijee- we are moving with the army- off to dhekalia. where were you? the idea od a move and being even further away from family and friends is very daunting and dh is off to iraq in four weeks and i am just terrified that if ds is still feeding every two hours and i am by muyself i will slowly go mad. its so nice to know that there are people to chat to who understand. it is exhausting isn't it? thank you everyone

OP posts:
hermykne · 12/10/2006 10:33

wigglesbummum you wont be feeding every 2hrs in 4 weeks time, you'll be amzed how it will strectch out and you'll get to know oyur baby and whats hunger and whats comfort cry!
good luck with your move. dont put yourslef under pressure to dance attendance on anyone else bar yourself and baby. and round up the troops to do your packing

TiggernPooh2 · 12/10/2006 11:14

I too am an army wife. As I said before we moved when ds was 2 months and dh was away for the following 4 months. Once we had moved and he went away I moved back in with my parents, we did not unpack the house until he got back and was on leave for a bit. It was a lifesaver and i am not sure I would have coped as well as I did had I been on my own. If this is an option I would strongly consider it. You can always fly out again when he is back.

It was strange moving to parents at first having been away 5 years but it was so nice to have the help and not have to cope on my own. Think about it.

Good luck and let dh and the army do as much as possible we are on our 3rd house and they can more or less do it for you. XXXX

TiggernPooh2 · 12/10/2006 11:23

Also if you are worried about the army contacting you if you do decide to wait to move you can give the families officer in cyprus the details of where you will be and the phone numbers etc.

I was worried about them contacting me when dh was in iraq too.

Also I had trouble getting feeding established and midwife told me to top up feed. I did not want to do this and called NCT bfing helplne. They said the more they feed they are tring to get the milk established its just their way of getting the volume up, the more they suck the more milk there is. Top up feeding can lover milk production as they are not sucking as much. Aslo something with made me feel better about having no sleep was how they feed at night determins the milk supply for the next day so they are just setting themselves up to get enough to eat.

It does not last forever I promise and will get better soon but stick at it if you can. Ring the NCT helpline or the la leach league who I found were very helpful.

Good luck XXX

amijee · 14/10/2006 20:44

hi there

I was working in akrotiri on and off. ( I was single then, not with ds) I agree entirely with the post below - it's tough to be alone and in a foreign country BUT there is a lot of support thru the armed forces. Most of the midwives are great as they have the time ( unlike the NHS!)..there is also SAFA - the social work support services as well as the many other mums in the same boat as you ( although they may not have a LO as young)

Living on a base in Cyprus is different from the UK as everyone lives on base and there is a good support network. However, your LO will still be only 12 weeks so you may wanna think about spending some time with relatives if your dh is in Iraq. Alternatively, you could try and fly your relatives to you if that's feasible.

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide..and most of all, remember..you are never alone. There will be support both in Cyprus and here thru various organisations.

lots of love x xx

Judy1234 · 15/10/2006 10:04

This is why I'm so glad I had no one around like a mother or MIL to give "advice". As you can see it's normal and will pass. It is not a reason to give up breastfeeding. When it all ran into the next feed in the night exhausted thing I used to make sure the carry cot was right by the bed so didn't have to get out of it to feed or he or she would sleep next to me if I fell asleep. If you're moving to Cyprus then I don't see why it's fair you do any of the packing at all. If you have another half he should do all of it. You're looking after a very new baby.

VeronicaMars · 15/10/2006 10:36

I think when you're bfing there's a stage where if you don't give up you won't give up. The tiredness is sooooo hard. I perfected feeding while lying in bed after a few weeks, so if I was really tired I would take dd into bed at about 7 and feed on and off untill about eleven. I'd just lie there and let her latch on when she wanted. It really helped. Her feeds became more spaced out by the time she was six weeks. And by eight weeks she would have a feed at 11 and sleep until 7. Their stomachs are so small that they fill and empty very quickly, so they need to feed that often. I think alot of people, including myself, are under the illusion that newborns feed about every four hours but most feed every two.

Laura032004 · 16/10/2006 06:38

wigglebumsmum - I'm out in Cyprus at the moment (visiting my parents, so won't be here when you get here) - Ay Nik, not Dekelia, although we're just a few miles down the road. It is very friendly out here, and still lovely and warm at the moment. There are lots of mum and baby groups, so you will quickly meet people. Do you drive? Dekelia is a big camp, and certain areas can be isolating if you don't drive or have a car. Definitely get one before your DH goes off. I would consider going back to stay with family when your DH is away. I did when DS1 was born, and DH went away with the Navy. I'm sure it was a life saver, and he was a very easy baby. I'm currently bf DS2, and I have to say that the feeding frequency has increased a bit due to the warmer temperatures, but not a lot. I'd make sure you've got a spare 2 or 3 hundred pounds to buy air conditioning units if your house doesn't already have them (the newer ones have them fitted), to make life a lot more bearable. It's going to cool down considerably over the next couple of weeks, but still feels unbearable at times.

Hope the move goes well! The packers can pack the lot if needs be at the last minute - although they did pack my full bin last time . If you've got any more questions, feel free to CAT me - my mum works in the families office, and my dad works in the UAO here, so they know quite a bit about what goes on

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