Is ff easier?

[Inbl00m]

I don't mean to start a discussion about whether bf or ff is best (sure both have ups and downs, and I know people often feel strongly about one or the other) but realised that most of the threads on here are about bf problems. Is that because bf is harder and ff easier or because people don't think they'll get support about ff here?

For me, bf was very hard and painful for the first week, but in the 9 months since then it's been easy. I find it easy to express if I need to leave dd with anyone.

For a friend if mine who's ds had bad tongue tie and never really learnt to latch, ff was much easier. For weeks she expressed every two hours night and day and had two bouts of mastitis, before giving up and ff.

Everyone is different and it does depend on the baby and the mum.

We failed to get breastfeeding established with DS1 so had to switch to bottles. DS2 was breastfed despite a rocky start because of newborn jaundice, thanks to the great support of the midwives in the hospital.

In my experience, I'd say that getting breastfeeding established can be very, very hard, sometimes insurmountably so.

But once it was established, I found it so much easier than FF. No having to prepare and wash bottles, no carrying equipment around, no having to try and soothe a starving baby while waiting for milk to warm to the right temperature (DS1 refused milk unless it was at body temperature), all I needed was my breasts.

So from my point of view, the only real disadvantage to breastfeeding (assuming it can be established in the first place) was that DS2 couldn't be left for long with anyone else until he'd started eating solids well. And that wasn't a real problem for me as I was lucky enough to be able to take the full year's maternity leave.

Ff worked really well for us, DD having made it perfectly clear from the get go that bf was NOT going to happen. I used ready made formula so bottles were a piece of piss, washing them up isn't hard and sterilising them takes five minutes in a microwave.

Expressing for the first six weeks, now that was hard!

Finally it really doesn't have to be all or nothing. Mixed feeding can work well for people.

I don't think you need a good pain threshold to BF. Yes some BF problems can cause pain and some of the initial bit is painful/uncomfortable but only for about ten seconds. I don't like the idea that "BF is painful" being spread around because what women really need to know is that it's not normal for it to hurt, if it's hurting then they need to find some support because it's a good indicator that something is going wrong. It's usually fixable, too.

The hardest thing about BF is that the support is not easy to find, so you have to search it out. This is appalling actually - why should a newly postnatal mother be forced to fight, search, travel for advice, it should be available easily.

That said, not everyone needs support. weebairn you said you don't think your experience is typical but I think it can be - it's just that obviously you tend to hear about people who have problems, not from people who found it really easy and straightforward.

I also want to add that though it is common for it to be tender and uncomfortable initially, breastfeeding doesn't always hurt for everyone and I've never found my nipples painful, at all, even on day one. I did find being engorged for the first couple of weeks very unpleasant.

Bfing easier by far, ONCE you have persisted through the difficulties and got to understand how it works.

I used to go out with my babies with nowt but a nappy in my back pocket. and a run-low packet of wetwipes in the other.

I got loads of sleep coz the babies just slept and barely woke me when fed.

Currently fighting a screaming baby who is hungry. She wants to go and lie down to feed and I want to sit downstairs. Sooooo not easier.

Back in my fucking bed. Again. FFS!!!!!!!!

stargirl how old is your baby?
I know a few mums whose babies would only feed laying down to start with but as they got bigger they could feed in other positions. You may have forceful let down so baby has to lay to cope with it.
Part of the key to BF is to go with the flow.

I am quite lazy - for me BF was the much easier option. But I didn't have any major problems with BF. Once you get over the initial few weeks it is a piece of cake and very flexible and convenient.

I have done both as had to top up with DC1 for a while until his tongue tie was fixed. I really hated ff. Hated the health and safety worries, hated having to have enough with us if we went out, and having to make it up in a cafe or buy an expensive carton of it. Love bf for its ease. Milk on tap, any time, anywhere, no health and safety worries, and most of all because it provides antibodies - DC1 didn't catch a proper cold until I stopped bf at 15 months, he just had a very light snotty nose each time before that, because my immune system was supporting his. The first (2 week long!!!) cold was awful, he was grotty and miserable and ill.

The Girl, she is 13 weeks tomorrow. I have been doing this for 3 months now. I am having a bad day today. Sick of leaking, sick of lying down, sick of phoning helplines, sick of going to bf groups for advice, sick of being ill (on 5th round of antibiotics in 13 weeks), sick of iron tablets, sick of Lactulose, sick of painkillers. I am truly pissed off.

stargirl that does sound rough! Considering all that you have done well to make it this far! I don't know what to suggest. Sounds like you are seeking out help. I hope it gets easier for you.

I ebf DS, who is 4 months old and my original plan was to stop at 6 months.

However, now I fear switching to formula as I just haven't got a clue what I'd be doing. How much to give, how often, what size bottles and teats?
I find it quite daunting and bf is just so much easier. Baby is hungry, pop on breast, baby stops when she's full.

I think now I'll probably carry on till 12 months.

Incidentally it hasn't been completely easy for me, I had all the usual stresses while we were both getting used to it, but I know I've had a better time of it than many others so do count my blessings.

I FF although I BF for the first 2 weeks with both DCs.

I found BF easier with DC2 but just didn't want to continue.

With the creation of the Perfect Prep Machine I can have a bottle ready within 2 minutes at body temperature. This has made FF easier and I'm very fortunate as both DC have taken milk at room temp when needed so I don't have to warn bottles when I'm out.

I'm a believer in doing what works best for each mummy/baby.

I always find it interesting when people who EBF say 'I'm far too lazy to do formula, all the bottles etc' when I've always seen EBF as so intense, being the only person who can feed so up half the night, not able to leave baby with family for long etc... doesn't sound lazy to me! I do nearly all the night feeds but if its a bad one I know I can just ask DH to help. It shows peoples perception is different. When my DS refused to go back on the boob after a burst of bottle feeding to fatten him after big weight drop I expressed and bottle fed, but then when we began topping up with formula I just got a Perfect Prep. So I'd say FF is not much of a faff at all if you chuck money at the problem with that and ready made. Also the whole 'Sterilising bottles' thing is so easy, 7 bottles, a good scrub in antibac washing liquid and hot water, into steam steriliser, then assemble empty bottles with lids for the day. 10 min job in the morning and maybe in the evening if he's been particularly annoying with snacking on a few oz a time during the day (waste is a drawback of FF). I'd love to be able to stick a boob in his mouth at night, but ready made formula and sterilised bottle in the bedroom mean I can still just bring DS into the bed. Also since I ended up having to bottle feed I've embraced a much more equal parenting schedule with my DH, and it's been great that he has more time with DS and responsibility as well. Weekend lie ins for me to. Both work for different people, I would have been happy if I'd been able to BF longer but FF is easy and means we co parent a lot more then we would have.

I mix fed my first and never sterilised a bottle ever.

I still say bring is the easiest. It's demanding for the first few weeks but you can feed babies when they aren't demanding in order to avoid a demand when it isn't convenient and it helps spending lots of time in bed (I was always in bed by 8pm) After 3-4 months babies can be distracted, and wait a bit if needed. After 6 months they can have other things so less reliant but it is fabulous to use boob as a hands free silencer to make phonecalls/watch dramas/eat out etc.

I ff 4 dc. Mix fed Dc5 & ebf 6.

FF is not the massive deal that it is made out to be on MN.

For me with dc6 bf was easy. No problems at all. Had there have been i would have stopped.

What is hard is doing every single night for nearly 10 months. Having older dc makes it hard as I couldn't give the baby to dp to get on with dinner etc. Dp worked shifts so often on my own of an evening.

I had no support either practical or emotional. In all honesty practical support would have made the most difference.

You know what? At the end of the day, after having 6 dc over 24 years, it's really not as important as MN or hcps would have you believe.

Levismum, isn't it fairer to say that for you personally FF isn't the massive deal that some people make it out to be? I found using formula a big hassle, for various personal reasons, and was much happier when solely bfeeding. I also had no issue at all with doing all night feeds, but again, that's just my feeling on it. Others will have different feelings about it.

I certainly never found ff a faff but never tried Bf.

I think being solely responsible for feeding would have caused me more than a faff personally.

Formula feeding is way way easier imho. Made even easier with pre made bottles. I used to batch make the days bottles the night before and had self sterilising micorwave bottles.

oh and i never waited for the kettle to boil in the middle of the night and you have a hand free too.

I can see that for some FF was easier but for me BF was.
It wasn't just feeding but also a quick way to comfort -tired, cranky, teething, ill - a quick BF would soothe them very quickly.
I didn't mind and would have been totally responsible for feeding either way most of the time as DH was often working away.
I loved not having to wake up much to feed when they were in cot beside me and I just picked them up and went back to sleep.

Yup, if you're responsible for feeding anyway then that doesn't make it harder to BF. Although IMO, being responsible for feeding isn't that much of a big deal, there are still plenty of other things for DHs to take responsibility for. I know everyone is different though. I didn't feel tied to the baby at all, I know a lot of people do.

Agree Bertie when Dh was here he did all nappies ,bathtime , cooking, cleaning etc.

When he wasn't I BF while doing other things - hold baby or sling and stick on boob- how do you do that if you are holding a baby and a bottle?