Is ff easier?

[Inbl00m]

I don't mean to start a discussion about whether bf or ff is best (sure both have ups and downs, and I know people often feel strongly about one or the other) but realised that most of the threads on here are about bf problems. Is that because bf is harder and ff easier or because people don't think they'll get support about ff here?

I think easier is the wrong word! Formula feeding is more effort in preparation however after 8 weeks of breastfeeding being great (and straightforward) my ds then just refused and I couldn't have tried harder. I just couldn't feed him- it then became easier (?!) to formula feed rather than struggle with him screaming every single time!

I think the work with bf is all front loaded. The first 4-6 weeks can be super tough. But since then I've found it so easy.

We're down to one feed a day at 1yr old. She's never really taken to formula, but it's not been a problem. She drink milk and water well from a cup, and from about 4 months I could go out for 3-4 hours and she'd wait for me for milk.

During weaning we didn't have to worry about volume of milk vs volume of food. I was told to trust she would take what she needed, even if that was only twice a day.

We night weaned without much fuss, and same with the bedtime feed. This isn't a stealth boast, just a reminder that you don't hear these positive stories often here - just the problems.

I BF all of mine and while it was intensive to get going with DC1 ,DC 2 and 3 were really easy.
no buying of formula, cleaning or warming.
ready 24/7 no checking I had all the stuff- just instant feeding wherever I went.
I didn't want to leave my babies with anyone else so it wasn't a problem.

My experience of bf is that it is quite a skill and it takes a bit of time to get the hang of it and know how to avoid and deal with problems. I haven't tried ff but I imagine you don't need a lot of help to figure out how to do it.

I would agree with what Another says, wholeheartedly.

In terms of the threads you see, the reason that there are lots of bfing threads is that it's a relationship between mother and baby. It can be complicated in lots of different ways. Just like there are millions of relationships threads on here, because each set of circumstances is its own and needs tailored help. ff problems tend to be more 'generic' if you will - people need advice on making formula up safely, or feeding out and about, but they can often get the answers from friends, or from searching old threads. So bfing has lots of threads. I don't think it's an accurate measure of difficulty/ease overall.

Also, as a previous poster has touched on, there is no such thing as whether bfing or ffing is easier. FFing has a probably fairly 'standard' level of difficulty (in a healthy full term baby without reflux, etc, etc). But asking how difficult bfing is is a bit like asking how hard it is to play the trumpet - some people will start and take to it straight away. Others will struggle. It's not 'how hard', it's 'how hard for you'.

I am ebfing my DS at the moment. For the first 3 weeks we had a massive struggle, I wanted to carry on until he was on solids but was already counting down to when I could stop. Back then he was having top ups of expressed milk because he was unable to latch on and wasn't getting enough. FF would have been easier then, not only because of the struggle/constant demands of breastfeeding but it would have stopped me from always worrying that he wasn't getting enough - you have the reassurance that they are getting however many oz which in the early days was a big concern for me!

He's 7 weeks now however, and am already feeling like I will probably be happy to carry on breastfeeding beyond 6 months, however long that may be.

Yes it is much easier now, no sterilising, no up and down in the night (and you get told not to make up a days bottles in advance now, so if you're following guidelines then you do need to go back and forth to the kitchen). The milk is ready to go out and about as well.

I think it helps that I have never been shy about whipping my boobs out in public for bfing though, if I insisted on using a breastfeeding room or whatever then bottles would be easier (but then I could always express I suppose).

There is also a weird assumption that if you bf you don't or shouldn't leave your child with others ... which I struggle with. I'm talking dh, family and extended family here not strangers! Not to go wild partying, it's just a shared thing in my family and both cultures. In the past women of all cultures WOULD do this but several women in the family would be lactating often, making it possible: real shared parenting. Now we have fewer kids so it's not like that ... and of course if you bf (as I do) you're supposed to be too much of an attachment parent to want/need to share childcare.

Ah I love mumsnet! So glad this hasn't turned into bf VS ff war but instead just prompted loads of interesting and thought-provoking replies.

The point about bf being a relationship (as well as a skill to master) is so true. I guess the answer really is that it depends on the mum-baby combo!

Whether it's easier or not seems to be down to personal preference and personality, assuming no issues. I only BF but I found it really easy and think I'd probably have found FF more work - cleaning, sterilising bottles, remembering to buy it/take it with me, working out how long the bottle had been out/made for and if it was still sterile etc. With boob you can just pop them on and go. Brilliant.

Issues - I think it's just that firstly if you have BF issues they can be trickier to sort out. FF comes with instructions, boobs don't. You have an issue with the bottle, you try a different kind. HVs tend to be comfortable with FF and able to advise on common issues. Nobody assumes that fussiness, crying, unsettled babies are due to FF - you don't hear anyone say "Oh that baby needs a breastfeed!" in the same way that people say "That baby needs a bottle!"

BF can be daunting if you don't know much about it. There's no satisfying feedback (the empty bottle) to let you know that you're getting it right. (Actually there is - look at the baby's nappies. It can't come out if it's not going in :) - but nobody tells you this.) It can be surprising how long it goes on for in the early days. It feels strange. It's hard to know what's normal - whereas most of us have fed a baby with a bottle at some point in our lives or at least watched someone do it, even just on TV. We know what's normal with FF, to an extent. With BF a lot of women have never seen anybody else BF before they feed their own baby. Certainly if it's your first, you won't have breastfed a baby before. It's new territory. IME it helps enormously to have a forum like mumsnet.

Remember people only tend to post when they are having a problem. Not many people will post just to say "Hi, everything is great!" I do think lots of people (me included! :)) have a simple and easy breastfeeding experience.

I would say FF is more straightforward but I wouldn't say it's necessarily easier.

I reckon it's a personality thing. Where you fall on a spectrum between two extremes. If you lean towards laid back, spontaneous, go with the flow you'll probably find BF easier. Whereas if you lean towards being in control, organised, liking to know what's happening when, then you'd probably find FF easier.

Brilliant post bertie

I think the feedback from a BF baby is the "milk drunk" face !

I only ff and Bertie gets it just right....I am a control freak routine lover....think that's why it suited me.

Haha yes! But I mean it can be reassuring to have a concrete "look, he's drunk all of that much" - if you're the kind of person to like to know that kind of thing, then it can be reassuring to have something to count, like wet nappies. I was not bothered, I figured that if he wanted more it was still there, it didn't go away. But I know this is something that some people find anxiety inducing about BF.

The bf feedback via nappy can come in little packages several times a day or in big mustard pats once every 2 days too! Not sure which I prefer.
In terms of wee i like the euphemism "heavy nappy" ... no one ever says "they'll do loadsa wee love..."

like others have said bf is easy once you get over the difficult first few weeks. BUT I ended up feeling trapped by bf when DD was older (6 to 12 months), she was a bottle refuser which is a lot more common than I realised. It can be quite a bind when you are the only person in the world who can feed them. Obviously some people are fine with this but it really got me down.

With DS I mix fed in order to avoid this problem but in practice this meant he was ff by 4 months. I definitely feel better to have my freedom back, and it means DH is more involved, but now I'm feeling the flip side: the faff of ff especially when out and about. I suppose I'm saying there are pros and cons with both.

My MIL was obsessed by " but how do you know he is getting enough"
Er he is konked out in a complete haze and is smiling you daft bint!*

*Disclaimer - she ground me down and reduced me to tears constantly.

Oh and he is putting on a pound a week !

Varies by person and circumstance. A good friend of mine exclusively bf with ease and used the 'couldn't be bothered with the faff of formula, bf much easier' line a lot. She then watched me attempt to breastfeed my sleepy-jaundiced, tongue-tied, breast refusing baby for the next 90 minutes, followed by a bottle of expressed milk, then a session pumping to boost supply. She said it might be easier for me to use formula instead.

We had different babies, different boobs, different circumstances. What was easy for her was an utter chore to me and vice versa.

I had one that refused to BF and another that refused bottles. Bottle washing/sterilising etc felt arduous but we found a good nighttime solution as he didn't mind the formula mixed at room temp. BF was relentless too though, but easier. In an ideal world it would be nice to have a baby that will accept both, but it doesn't always work out that way.

For me, FF was easier. I hated trying to BF, and with not taking any time out of uni after DD's birth, I'd have had to repeatedly leave lectures to go to the nursery to feed her, rather than sending in bottles for her. Thanks to the availability of pre-made bottles (and a baby who prefers her milk at room temperature), there's no need to get up and spend ages sterilising, boiling, cooling, warming up - just grab a sterilised bottle (self-sterilising bottles are a godsend!), pour in the ready made carton and you're good to go :)

But that's from a personal viewpoint. Breastfeeding wouldn't have worked for DD and I, but that doesn't make it harder/easier automatically. Everyone's different.

My first it took a month to get over any issues with BF but it was worth the commitment because after that it was a doddle. BF the next three, I skipped any issues and automatically found it a dream. It does take patience at first but then it's on tap

BF is time-intensive and exhausting initially, even if you have no specific problems. I guess FF isn't. After 6 weeks it's a lot easier, and easier still after 3 months. (And just lovely after a year, I found)

I find being able to night-feed without prep, go out without taking stuff, soothe upset babies, feed them when they're ill very helpful - I don't know about "easier".

With both my babies I've been able to feed lying down from day one which massively helps with sleep, and feed hands free after the first few days, which massively helps with reading novels and drinking tea :) And Iv'e been happy feeding in public by the first week with both, so I never felt particularly restricted. I don't think that's particularly typical though, maybe my babies just liked bf and were naturals at it!

And babies do vary a lot. My older daughter could be soothed by a daddy cuddle or a mummy feed - so the nights weren't all down to me. He'd hold her for some of it, and I'd feed her for some of it. I never expressed much but I did go out between feeds, and when baby was older (10 months onwards) I did night shifts and went away and saw friends overnight, etc. At 18 months I had a 2 day holiday with DP and we still continued bf when I came home. But I guess babies vary.

Leaking milk and having big boobs aren't nice after you've already been through pregnancy and want to feel "normal" again. I was the same clothes size fairly quickly but it took a year to be back in pre-preg bras. DD2 is 6 weeks old currently and I know I'd feel a hundred times better about my body if my boobs were smaller I guess that's a fairly trivial thing in the grand scheme of things but I hate it.

I'm one who found bf fairly easy, but I think it's disingenuous to pretend it's wonderful or easy all the time. There are really tough patches. There are some great upsides, too.

Yes. Most definitely. Breastfeeding is way, way harder than ff. I ff DD1 and DD2 is ebf (12 weeks in).

Breastfeeding is a litany of problems. My personal experience with both girls has included: bleeding, shredded nipples, excruciating pain, blocked ducts, infective mastitis leading to sepsis, forceful letdown, oversupply...

Breastfeeding takes weeks to learn. I learned to ff in one hour - sterilising, washing, feeding, etc. The time taken to wash and sterilise the bottles is far, far less than the time spent cluster feeding. Opening a carton of formula and pouring it into a sterilised bottle is just as easy as latching a baby on for overnight feeds.

I'm continuing to bf DD2 as I hope the statistical health benefits have an impact. We have family history of asthma, eczema, hay fever and allergies. I aim to get to 17 weeks. Nearly there.

I now truly understand why women, on a massive scale, switched to formula in the 50s/60s/70s. It is easier in a post industrial culture.

My current bf goal is try and bf in a cafe. I'm not bothered about bf on public but the forceful letdown and oversupply have made this so hard as DD2 struggles to feed unless she is lying down. Yes, my life has been reduced to this -being able to sit in a cafe while feeding my baby from the breast.

I went down the pumping/bm route with DD1 too - it is even harder than breastfeeding from source.

I really do think it depends on the particular baby (and mum) - with DS1 I had oversupply for the first three months with ensuing blocked ducts, etc., so BF definitely more difficult at the start (though afterwards it was a doddle), but with DS2 it was literally "stick on baby... feed baby... done": a bit time consuming in the early days but not difficult in the slightest.

Also agree that the people posting on BF boards are far more likely to be posting because they have BF problems - a lot of people are just feeding away without issues but not posting about it.

i bf for 2 months and then had to go cold turkey onto ff because i had an allergic reaction from nipple shields and went into anaphylactic shock. the emotional strain from transition was horrific and i hated myself for 'failing' bf. i wasn't a mumsnetter at the time though so didn't have support- i was my biggest critic however so it's whatever feels better or most comfortable for women. ive had more struggles with ff- have managed to break two sterilisers (baby brain) and spent god knows how much on bottles as daughter got colic. i didn't find it painful- i found bf wonderful. the bond, the love, the amazing amount of pride you have once you've cracked it! and there's something in it helping your hormone to feel more relaxed or happy even though you're nackered. you can get support if you go and get it- but you do work it out for you, the position, the latch and prob a fav boob. i would recommend sma f milk and mam bottles- my daughter didn't get along with avent AT ALL.. though again can b particular to child.

overall if you have a good pain treshhold, are determined and not v organised.. bf is for you!! xx