Things I learned in the first 6 weeks of breastfeeding

[jessplussomeonenew]

I'd thought I was well prepared for breastfeeding (reading, classes, watching friends etc) but there were some things I never heard beforehand which would have been really useful to know. I claim no expertise beyond my own experience of getting through the first six weeks of feeding :) but thought I'd share - and encourage others to do likewise - practical hints that I wished I'd known:

That "nose to nipple" is a good way to work out how far across your body the baby should be, but the chin should actually be closer to the breast than the nose when latching on.

That a good latch involves a mouth that's open wider than looks physically possible for a tiny baby's mouth!

That trying to visually check the latch during a feed a) tends to pull the nipple out and make the latch worse and b) can miss problems; how it feels is a far better guide to how it's going.

That for cradle/cross-cradle it's good to hold the baby's tummy in tightly to my body to help them feel secure - it also helps to tuck the lower arm out of the way below the body before bringing the baby in.

How to do sandwich and flipple/extended latch techniques.

That getting the baby's body into the right position before attempting to latch is more than half the battle - having help from another pair of hands can really help as you work this out!

That once the baby's in position you need to wait for a good gape and then move quickly to get the nipple in before it closes again.

That you shouldn't hold the back of the head or press the head against the nipple but instead bring the head close by supporting the side of the head (cradle) or neck (cross-cradle).

Hope this is helpful to someone!

For me the best thing initially was a midwife who showed me how to feed lying down and basically said "Just lie there, have a nap and let him work it out...".

The "bfing expert" in hospital actually contorted me into an impossible position and basically made me feel really crap about bfing. When it was left to DS and I and we adapted to eachother, things slotted into place. We just needed to be patient and stick at it. She said he'd get cross if I kept trying and reject the boob entirely so I didn't know what to do! If I hadn't been fairly confident (in myself rather than in being a mother at that specific time!) and determined to bf, we would have stopped.

DS fed every 1.5-2 hrs till 6 months (apart from a sleep 7pm-1am from around 6 week I think) - nothing I could do would convince him to go any longer. He just puked if I tried to get more into him! It was just the way he was. It wasn't a signal I didn't have enough milk (taking fenugreek just gave me mastitis), it wasn't that he was snacking, it was just what he wanted/needed. I could never work out the difference between hunger/thirst/comfort (there seemed to be no difference) but in the end, it didn't matter. Every baby is different.

Even though midwives tell you before the birth that baby might feed very often in the early days after you've had the baby they're quite keen to establish that baby isn't feeding too often. While I do think it can be useful to be aware of cues that signal baby is comfort feeding or snacking, I think the mantra "feed, feed, feed" is best.

Lots of people try to get you to bottle feed and say "he can't be hungry again", makes you feel awful at times. Try and be confident in what you are doing and ignore it. I found thinking "well, I can but don't especially like going 4 hrs without food or even a drink so why should a tiny baby??" helped.

If you do give up bfing after doing it for a long time, you may get some side effects even if you aren't doing many feeds a day. I stopped when DS was nearly 2 and felt really down for a few weeks and had a non stop period for a while - just hormones sorting themselves out.

Agree with a previous poster that not all babies/moms can breastfeed easily even after having successfully breastfed other babies.
In days gone by and perhaps in developing countries, other lactating women would feed each others children.
Formula is not to be frowned upon.
I think if you have given breast feeding your best shot and it just isn't happening for whatever reason don't hesitate to use the bottle.
My sister had no hang ups whatsoever about breastfeeding but her dc became dangerously underweight and the paediatrician insisted she needed to stop and her dc took very easily to being bottle fed.

Wish I'd known how hard it would be to get bf established.
That having big boobs (HH) and a small baby (5 lb 15 but dropped to 5lb 3) made things very difficult as her mouth was so small and getting her into right position next to my huge boobs was really hard
Trust your instincts, I knew that my daughter wasn't feeding properly for the first few weeks and she lost quite a bit of weight. Just felt like nothing was happening when she was on and she wasn't getting much.
I found that bf was so hard in early days I couldn't risk lying down to feed as had to really make sure latch was properly done and she was getting milk. So sat up night after night...I knew she was latched on and getting milk when it started to hurt (my let down hurt or maybe it was a squashed nipple)
Rugby ball hold on right , across body for the left, as right got very cracked
my baby didn't do the mouth gaping open thing either and it all got easier as her mouth grew in size as she got bigger!
Buy a breast pump before baby arrives and use it if you struggle with latching on in early days. My supply went crazy as a result but I was able to express while we learnt to breastfeed. Our nct adviser said not to get one until 6 weeks but I would have had to stop breast feeding if I hadn't used one/had access to one straight away.
Oh and eat, drink and eat, you will be starving and thirsty all the time. Look after yourself.
iPads and iPhones are great for night time feeds, used to read books during the epic long night feeds.

I got a lot of great teaching and advice before I had my first. I remember being told when they are newborn to wait, wait, wait for that big open mouth like a baby bird to get a really good latch, which will come especially if you gently brush their face with your nipple - then slam that baby on! So true.

The other thing took me a while to learn but I got it from somewhere and it really helped. Grab your boob and point the nipple at the roof of the baby's mouth to get a good latch.

That if it hurts for the first few weeks it doesn't necessarily mean you have a bad latch/doing it wrong. You've never had anything attached to your nipple every half an hour before - of course it'll hurt! (But it gets better!)

That, as previous posters have said, if your baby doesn't open their mouth wide to feed it doesn't necessarily matter. My dd just kind of sucks the nipple in. I think as long as she's feeding it doesn't matter.

That tummy to mummy might not happen. Dd doesn't like feeding on her side. She much prefers being almost on her back and turning her head inwards

That you need to put a muslin under babys head at every feed - a lot can dribble out of their mouth and soak your clothing!

That I need to wear a bra and breast pads day and night. No taking my bra off at night! I hadn't considered that before. Also get your bra ready with breast pads in it for as soon as you get out of the shower. For the first few weeks my milk would drip over the bathroom floor if I didn't get my bra on quickly!

Oh, another one after reading Fox's post (very valid as I know many of my friends had same issue) - if you don't have a lot of leakage it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I barely leaked at all but wasn't an indication of how much DS was getting.

That even if you're doing it right it can really hurt.

That so many people will try and push formula on you "why don't you give her formula, she'll sleep longer" "should I try a bottle" "oh ff is much easier"

That the first 6 weeks is hell and it only started to get less painful after that.

That a position that worked yesterday won't work today.

That sometimes they won't want to feed in order of which boob should be next and will refuse until you try the other one out of desperation.

That cluster feeding is normal and not because as lots of people told me my milk wasn't good enough or she wasn't getting enough.

That I will never not feel hungry or thirsty.

That you might leak so much that re useable pads are the only thing that help.

That lumpy bumpy breast can be normal when you're full.

That lumpy bumpy breast can easily turn in to Masitits.

I clearly knew nothing. I expected it to be straightforward because it's natural.

The main thing i'd tell myself is that it does get easier and when 4m old DD gets excited when I lift up my top it's all worth it.

It is entirely feasible to express all of the milk your baby needs while you work out the BF, and this is a good way to keep your supply going through BF difficulties. For most women this is far faster, easier and more effective with a hospital-grade double pump. There's a knack to expressing and there are many useful tips and tricks you can try in order to improve it.

I'm sad when people say, "Expressing just didn't work for me" because I think it's probable that it could have worked if they'd had a bit more information about how to do it!

If you have the time, energy and determination then it is usually possible to express exclusively in the long run. My second child and I never managed BF, but she had breastmilk for over four years.

Leaking can help you to avoid engorgement. The firm pressure of a bra can act to prevent leaking, so going braless when possible may be helpful. Sleeping with a bath towel under you and another on top of your breasts keeps the bed from getting too soaked.

When I had to work away from my baby for six hours at a stretch, I wore a t-shirt with a dark patterned woolly jumper over the top. I was soaking but it didn't show!

Not about technique or the actual feeding, but a couple of things I didn't know:

Breast feeding can extend jaundice. I had no idea until 2 weeks in and DS's (mild) jaundice was no better so I had to take him into hospital for some tests (all fine, and it's gone now)

Breast feeding can cause/worsen baby acne. DS's skin was so bad he had to go on to antibiotics in the end to sort it out.

I only found out these were both caused by breast feeding after they had occurred.

I also learnt that you shouldn't listen to all the horror stories about breast feeding and assume the worse.

A couple of people I know had a hideous time of it and had to give up. I was told I WILL have sore nipples, I WILL get mastitis, I WILL need to stock up on nipple cream and breast pads.

I was so paranoid and fearful of breastfeeding I felt that I was going to fail before I even started and I was really stressed about it during my pregnancy.

But actually it has been fine. No issues, no pain, and a DS who has shot up from 25th to 75th percentile in the first 8 weeks.

Don't assume the worse and remember you are more likely to hear the horror stories than the success stories so it makes it seem that it is more likely to be a bad experience.

The worst thing I was ever told was that if BFing hurts, you are doing it wrong. At 4 weeks, after no real problems, BFing became agony. My nipples were getting shredded and turning bright white. I went to tons of BF clinics in despair where people told me the latch must be wrong. I remember constantly pulling DS off and reattaching him in the fear I hadn't got it right, much to his chagrin. I got mastitis several times and felt awful.

After much googling, I read on Mumsnet how some babies had a high palette that caused problems, but that it got better when their mouth was bigger, around nine weeks. I decided that I would carry on trying till 9 weeks and if it was still terrible I would stop. Lo and behold, by 9 weeks it was painless again. I carried on feeding DS till he was 15 months.

So yes, sometimes it does hurt. And it is normal!

Cloclo Yes I was helpfully told that a small mouth can chafe for a few days. Also post birth your hormones ironically make your breasts extra tender (thanks nature) so it can hurt with a decent latch.
Plus of course let down lasts for a good few seconds.
Good advice I had: count to 30. Does it still hurt? If not its let down! And of course re latching repeatedly will repeat the discomfort!

A piece of useful advice I got from a midwife in the hospital when dc2 was a new born was to totally ignore the advice about feeding every 3 hours and just put the baby to the breast as often as she would take milk during the day, to attempt to switch her from the pattern of feeding every 3 hours in the day but being awake and hungry most of the night.

Inertia if only that worked with mine. She has been on my breast since 9 pm last night! Will nap 10-20 minutes between feeds but senses when I leave the room!
Growth spurt he'll I hope!
She seems well.

Lansinoh is miracle stuff, ds would not have been bf beyond a few weeks without it. It got me through the first 6-8 weeks of sore cracked nipples until ds learned to do it right (10 years ago I wasn't aware of any BF support so we just worked it out ourselves with a bit of google and eventually discovered mumsnet too).

Also after the first couple of weeks of BF on demand for what feels like ever minute of the day, start writing it down and you can see a natural pattern is starting to emerge. This really helped me keep going when I could see the gaps between feeds and the length of feeds settling down.

That a baby who needs feeding 'constantly' doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.

That after four or five days of doing nothing but feeding, when you are exhausted and tearful and desperate for something to help and not sure you can survive any longer, you may have done all the hard work already and the feeding frenzy is about to stop.

Been bf nearly a year and forgotten a lot of the specifics of the early weeks tbh. Well, not forgotten, I hope it will all come flooding back next time. My one thing would be to never question their hunger ("it's only been an hour since last feed, they can't be hungry again"). They feed A LOT in the early weeks. Cluster feedings very normal. Just go with the flow and throw away your watch.

I wish that the breast feeding is easy when you're doing it right message hadn't been pushed so much. It was HARD...and we had a good latch, Good supply and a rapidly growing baby.
I felt like I must be doing something wrong even though I wasn't because it was exhausting but it did change as ds got older.

Agree about it being very unhelpful that there is a mantra that " if it hurts there's something wrong". Feeding was agony for me for a few months at first and I had no helpful advice at all from professionals - I'm sure I would have given up if I wasn't in a very bf-friendly community and knew loads of friends who told me they had found it painful too even when nothing was wrong (before the birth I was horrified when one friend told me she'd bf for 13 months and it had been painful for the first eight months, but I found that very comforting afterwards!) DD had one of those sucking in the nipple latches but it wasn't the latch that was the problem - she had a high palate and a suck like a Dyson on speed (could drain a full breast in 4 minutes), and I have unusually sensitive nipples. They never cracked or bled or got shredded and nothing was actually wrong, they just hurt massively from the pressure.

It would have helped me hugely if the bf professionals I encountered were honest about the fact that yes, sometimes it just hurts as you get used to it, and gets better when the baby's mouth grows and the feeding schedule lessens.

That just because it hurts or you get sore nipples doesn't mean the latch is wrong. I had this with dc3 and a condescending mw told me I was "doing it wrong" and tried to show me how to do it, not bearing any consideration to the fact that I had done this twice before for a year. Anyway, my latch wasn't wrong, my nipples just needed to adjust. After a week of changing nothing I was doing it went and it's a walk in the park for me again after 5 weeks.

And yes, you will be stuck to the sofa with a messy house for the better part of 3 months. Some days are better than others. Invest in a moby and learn how to feed in it so you can get up and around.

Planet yep I am so glad a MW told me that hormones make some people's nipple tender! And a powerful suck + let down can make you wince though food intake is good and breasts being drained, perfectly ok latch.
The book I got basically warns me unless I have some expert skills my boobs will become infected and my baby starve. Nah. She's fine, as are my nips. Just a let down thar curls the toes!

What book is that Squizita? It isn't by CBC is it?

First Time Parent and Contented Baby. Gifts. Nothing like 300 pages of nagging as a present eh!

That it can be scary, oppressive and overwhelming - the feeling that you're completely responsible not just for the care (which you're prepared for) but for the feeding of your baby. It was the hardest thing I ever did.

Eventually, also the best thing.

This NCT newborn poo chart was incredibly useful in the early days, helped me see DS2 wasn't getting long enough for his feeds in the early days.

Also top tip Pampers nappies have a colour-change strip - changes from yellow to blue when the nappy is wet. Useful for those tiny newborn wees that you barely notice otherwise.