Night Feeders Part 5. Calling all women who find themselves feeding when they'd rather be sleeping!!

[Writerwannabe83]

This is a thread for anyone who wants support when things seem tough - especially for the women whose babies don't like sleep!!

We'll do the usual introductions:

I'm a first time mom to my 6 month old, EBF son. It's been a rocky few months, lots of ups and downs but we've finally reached a point where he's asleep by 7.30pm and only waking once during the night.

He very rarely naps in the day - and when he does it's only when he's in the car or his pushchair. It's very frustrating!!

And the last little thing about us is that we have just started the weaning journey - it's fun but messy!!

DD2 sound asleep in moses basket for the last hour and DD1 taking a bloody hour to go to sleep!! COME ON BLOODY TODDLER GO TO SLEEP I WANT TO UTILISE THE BABY SLEEP TIME

I think I have fed DD2 over 30 times today. At least I'm not engorged any more… bit thirsty though!!!

I spoke too soon about thinking he'd fall asleep nicely as despite seeming very relaxed and dozy during his feed, Arron is now hyper. These babies are enough to drive us mad aren't they!!!!

Writer, he's back to 4/5 wake ups a night. He's nearly 9mnths ffs!

Oh dear And does he want feeding back to sleep each time?

My friend has an 11 m/o son who is BF and she said at his worst she can be up 10 times a night with him He's been like it from birth though and she doesn't know what to do.

What had the HV advised?

Have you posted in the Sleep forum? I've posted there when I've had problems with Arron's sleep and have always had lots of sympathetic and helpful replies.

My DS was up 10 times at night at 11 months. He had multiple allergies. All allergies removed and then decreased to 4-5 times. Eventually stopped breastfeeding at 13 months and then 1-2 awakenings. I would recommend stopping breastfeeding.

What is up with DS. He's not slept more than 20 mins at a time since midday. He is still awake now. He goes to sleep, then wakes up over and over again. He must be so knackered. My Mam is here and non of us can settle him properly! He's not crying so much but is whinging. Poor thing, we can't make him sleep properly. He's usually had a good long sleep by now. How can he be so awake?!

He even has some little giggles in between whinging crying, so he doesn't seem to have any issue with feeling ill or being in pain. Just can't stay asleep!

First feed of the night

DS woke after 3.5 hours

He was so sleepy towards the end of his feed and then I realised I had forgotten to change his nappy I wrestled between the choices of either leaving him to just fall or asleep but meaning his nappy will leak and wake him up in a few hours anyway, or change his nappy and hope it doesn't wake him up too much.

I decided to change his nappy, he sprung into life and for the last 45 minutes I've had to listen to him whine, cry, grizzle and refuse to go back to sleep.

I feel annoyed with DH tonight, I'm tired, my head hurts and I've had a little cry. I just wish he'd just go to sleep and stay that way for longer than 3-4 hours at a time

This bloody mobile site drives me mad - will try to post again later!

Sorry I've been distracted by Christmas stuff on pinterest the past few nights

So after settling into a 5/6 hour sleep pattern before his first feed dp cocked it up the other night by putting him to bed too early after I'd gone to catch up on sleep so he could have a nap too and now he has a cold so back to 3 hours :(

Still not successful in putting him in his crib for daytime naps - the longest has been 30 mins which is only a couple of times so it's almost not worth the hassle.

DS and I are in Australia! Flight over was knackering for me but DS was no worse than he is on a daily basis, so although he was a bit whingey he also slept a lot. But on my lap as he's too big for the bassinet so I got no sleep and my back was killing me. But we both slept for 8 hours last night so I feel okay. He is being thoroughly spoiled by all the family and will return to the UK thinking he's a little emperor for sure!!

Cariad - I'm so glad the flight was ok ish, I know you were worried. Enjoy oz very envious right now
I went to baby massage today DS seemed to enjoy it, well he didn't cry.
This bit after midnight gets me this is when I don't get much sleep. He's feeding again but doesn't need it, he just had some wind and I managed to Burp him and cuddle him back to sleep, but it lasted 30mins

DS awake again after another 3.5 hours

auntmaggie - I used to have the mumsnet App and it was crap so I deleted it and them just accessed mumsnet via google. I also really struggled with the mobile site but there is an option to change it to the desktop site, which I did. So it's just like looking at the computer website but on my phone - it's loads better

cariad - glad you arrived safely and it sounds like the journey was pretty uneventful. Hope you catch up on your sleep!!

Arron has been screaming so loudly during his nappy change that once again it bought DH upstairs (our spare room is on the floor below) to check we are ok. I feel sorry for him because he never manages to get back to sleep and has to leave the house at 7am for work.

I'm feeding Arron and usually, when he wakes up at this time, he will have a feed and sleep again until 9am. Fingers crossed.

Such a weird night with DS, after his 5 hour sleep triumph last night. After his afternoon and evening of totally fighting sleep, he fell asleep properly at 10.30, transferred to cot successfully at 11.30 and then woke for a feed at 1.45 which was ok, standard. Looked a bit lively and woke up in the cot BUT was staring at the mobile and was very content so I stuck my phone playing white noise next to him, and lay back to watch and he drifted off to sleep by himself! Self settling joy :) BUT he then woke at. 3.20 and wanted a feed! And was in quite a light grunty sleep with leg kicks but I'd winded him and wasn't inclined to wake him for a very vigorous winding. Woke at 5.45 to the sound of massive effort grunts of a pooping baby, he bloody HATES pooing. He's now gone next door to his grandma who's here to stay while DH goes away for work. I surround myself at all times with people who are desperate to hold him, it gives me lie ins :)

That sounds like a perfect plan redling - I wish I had more people around who wanted to hold Arron My DH is going away for a week soon (work) and I would love to go and stay with my mom and get spoilt but unfortunately I've got cats who need feeding

I think we are up for the day and Arron is bring very vocal. We are off out to visit my friend soon, she's really upset as she's switching from breast to formula because her baby isn't putting weight on well on advice from the HV. I bumped into he yesterday and she told me about it and she looked really down. Her DH is currently away which is bad timing as she needs some TLC I think but I will go and give her a dose

Then I've got another very annoying friend coming to visit me and them I'm visiting a potential childminder this evening so all in all it's a busy day.

Hope everyone had good nights

Claire has your friend had proper help from a lactation consultant or specialist bf midwife etc? I just find HV don't always know that much and can't help the best with bf most of the time. If your friend is determined to bf, maybe there is still a way? Not meaning to butt in! Just saying not all issues need to mean the end of bf

Well I'm hoping to talk more to her about it today as when I saw her yesterday it was in a supermarket so not the most ideal place

Her little one is 11 weeks and still doesn't even weigh what Arron weighed when he was born.

She says that her DD feeds off both sides then 1.5 hours later is unsettled, crying and wanting to feed again. My friend then offers a bottle of formula as a top-up and her DD guzzles 3-4oz. The baby attaches fen and sucks well so it's more likely to be a supply issue I think.

My friend is having supply issues but has been prescribed domperidone (sp?) and it's really helped!

Just got back and the poor girl is in agony with her boobs. Her HV told her to just go cold turkey with the BF as opposed to mix feeding and gradually weaning of the BF. She hasn't breast fed in over 24 hours and she said her breasts are so painful I was really surprised with the HV's advice as surely she's at risk of blocked ducts and mastitis?? She was holding her chest whilst I was there and she said the pain and tenderness is just awful. Going cold turkey just sounds a bit strange to me??

Writer, it sounds like she has been given bad advice on all accounts bless her. Is she hand expressing to relieve pressure? Taking painkillers and anti inflammatories? Also, wouldn't topping up with formula have reduced her supply anyway? I wouldn't have said 1.5/2 hours between gaps was particularly bad esp if baby was working to get supply/weight up. God I hope she's ok.

writer Your poor friend.

It's hard to comment without knowing someone, but it does sound like very poor advice. There are ways to boost supply without turning to formula if that's what she would rather do, and I can't see any reason at all to stop cold turkey.

Could she maybe give one of the bf helplines a ring?

National breastfeeding helpline 0300 100 0212 (9.30am-9.30pm)
La leche league 0845 120 2918 (answered by mums in their own homes, so not always immediately available)

I'm sure there must be some good ones out there, but I have yet to come across a HV who gives sensible breastfeeding advice. I also think they can be a bit stupid about weight gain - some kids do drop down centiles but also thrive, are alert and healthy etc - you need to look at the whole picture not just the number. Again hard to comment without knowing her & her baby though.

Terrible HV advice (never heard good bf advice from a HV to be honest!). It's not too late for her to get feeding going again if she wants to or mixfeed. But agree the centiles and a "perfect line" on the chart aren't everything!

She's on painkillers and had rolled up cabbage leaves in her bra. Her HV told her not to express and that after 48 hours of stopping, everything should settle down She said the HV also told her to not get warm water on her breasts (I.e in the shower) as it might cause some milk to leak out and do my friend showered this morning with her back to the water spray to ensure her front didn't get wet

My friend has decided to switch completely to formula as she said she just wants what's best for her baby. Her baby appears healthy but is constantly crying for a feed and despite being on both breasts for 20 minutes is still taking 3oz of formula if it's offered. My friend used to just give a formula top up at bedtime but felt she was having to give it during the day over the last few weeks just to keep baby settled. I think baby is on the verge of dropping two centile lines since birth.

Arron is being a sod with his sleep again - he's been awake for over 8 hours and had only had one 50 minute nap in that time. I'm trying not to stress over it because I know I can't force him to sleep but easier said than done