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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

it's only formula...

34 replies

icklekid · 17/09/2014 03:58

So why am I so devastated that after a whole day of crying because my baby screams whenever I put a breast near him that I have given up.

Expressed and gave it to him all day then he fed normally at bed time. He started feeding fine in the night but then screaming and I have no more milk expressed. So I gave up and gave him formula.

For my own mental health if he continues to scream when hungry but refuses to feed I know this is what I need to do. So why can't I stop crying?!

OP posts:
WaffleWiffle · 17/09/2014 04:04

Ohhhh, I've been there.

I remember driving Tesco at 4am when DC3 was about 3 weeks old to buy bottles and formula because I just couldn't cope anymore.

Some babies just don't breastfeed well. Please do not beat yourself up about it. Your baby will be perfectly fine and healthy whether breastfed or bottle fed or both.

Your own mental health is important too.

You are doing great.

TwoLittleTerrors · 17/09/2014 04:12

Because it's mothers guilt. Stop beating yourself over it. Take care.

Original poster
icklekid · 17/09/2014 04:32

Thanks for both of you for replying - so frustrating 8 weeks without any problems then last week increasingly fussy which led to today! Glad we had some emergency formula in from birth. ..

OP posts:
PinkAndBlueBedtimeBears · 17/09/2014 05:04

Someone once said to me 'it's formula, not bloody crack cocaine!' I felt much better after that and I honestly have no idea why, but it still makes me smile now and remember that sometimes what's 'best' bloody breast is best campaign still annoys me for baby, it's always what's best for Mum..

I was a bloody wreck trying to breast feed, paired with exhaustion, migraines, and looking after 20mo dd. I'm pretty sure I was on the edge of a breakdown..
Formula has it's benefits too! You know how much they are having and when, meaning your not as panicked, especially when they are ill you have a gauge as to when they may be getting dehydrated, other people can feed and bond with baby over it, you can leave the baby for lengths of time and over night if you feel confident, bringing me onto help with night feeds from others..

What's best for you is what's best for baby, calm happy mum= calm happy baby.

Also, don't minimise your feelings about having to stop breastfeeding. Nether of mine were because of severe tongue tie, I've recently started having councilling and she likened it to grieving- because you 'lost' something that you thought you had. If you still feel awful please do speak to a sympathetic gp Thanks your doing great, I'm sure :)

PinkAndBlueBedtimeBears · 17/09/2014 05:05

isnt always what's best for Mum..

Aebj · 17/09/2014 05:17

Listen to Pinks advice. It's great and couldn't of said better myself. You are important to

FoxtrotOscarBackToEconomy · 17/09/2014 05:25

icklekid you are doing a brilliant job. Baby feeding can be very emotional. Tomorrow might be a much better day. If your baby decides they prefer to feed from a bottle then go with what they want. Thanks

I can understand how you feel. I was very upset when I thought I was going to have to stop breast feeding DD a few weeks ago (she was about 4 weeks old) - and I was even planning to bottle feed after giving the colostrum when I was pregnant.

rootypig · 17/09/2014 05:26

OP slight tangent but 8 weeks without problems and now he won't feed - have you chatted to breastfeeding counsellor or similar about this?

Hugs - it is a perfectly good way to feed your child. I BF DD for a while, then FF, and she was perfectly happy with the change and is a bright and robustly healthy wee thing Smile

McFox · 17/09/2014 05:31

Good advice from Pink, you are not alone in feeling like this!

I got grief from a midwife at the bf clinic for giving my DS one ff a day. One! She was politely told to wheest. You do what's best for you and your baby, and if that's formula, then that's perfectly ok.

MadgeMak · 17/09/2014 05:37

Don't feel guilty, formula feed if you want. However I would recommend visiting a breastfeeding clinic if you wish to continue breast feeding, they will help you try to fix whatever the issue is.

flymo79 · 17/09/2014 05:46

Totally feel for you ickle. Your baby screaming is a hugely stressful thing, and you know what is best for both of you. Stupid 'breast is best' should say 'love is best', there is so much research showing that love and touch and nurturing are what babies need to thrive, alongside calories and hydration of course - in whatever form they come. Take comfort in the enormous good it will have done you and LO bfing for this time and be proud of the achievement GrinGrin

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

redcaryellowcar · 17/09/2014 06:14

i really think you should do what makes you happiest, but bear in mind it doesnt have to be one or the other, its fine to mix feed then you get the benefit of some breastfeeding immubity from colds etc too?

Original poster
icklekid · 17/09/2014 06:45

Thanks all, have been to 2 clinics going again today so haven't totally given up just trying to accept what may have to be. I love breastfeeding but don't really think will keep pumping if ds never breastfeeds. I don't mind doing it whilst still trying but a) don't feel have enough when pumping and b) just don't enjoy it so I think if we go down the formula route will stop expressing.
I know that may be controversial and my dh suggested this morning I should but I can't face it.

Been thinking of other positives of formula like- wearing normal bras, wearing normal clothes, hopefully soon being able to exercise (still healing -whole other story!) Without milk leaks, dh being able to bond and feed more (cries a lot when goes to dh at the moment), not having to worry when we go to wedding in a few weeks where I'm a bridesmaid, being able to drink wine Wine

Maybe this formula thing isn't so bad after all Wink... still wish I wasn't having to go through this Sad

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarBackToEconomy · 17/09/2014 08:44

With DS (now 3) I had a nightmare getting BFing established and I stopped at 7 weeks when I got an abscess. When I switched to formula both me and DH wished I'd just stopped BFing sooner. DS took the bottle so much better. And I was so glad when I stopped like you say to not have to worry about clothes and feeding when out.

And this was why I was planning on giving DD formula. Anyway it turns out that DD is a completely different baby compared to DS when it comes to BFing and it has been so much easier with her from day 1 - no latching problems, just mastitis once and and issue with milk collecting in my abscess scar tissue. So here we are at almost 12 weeks still BFing.

And my point is: It's nothing I have done. DD is a baby who has naturally taken to BFing, DS preferred formula from a bottle. And you have to work out what is best for you and your baby.

And just to balance things out, I am going back to work in two months so I'm fully expecting DD to create a fuss about having formula from a bottle.