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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

**unless anyone can reassure me in the next 5 mins im stopping this bf'ing crap and cracking the formula out.**

113 replies

1Baby1Bump · 23/09/2006 20:07

ds is 12 days old, yes only 12 and im thinking of giving up already.
he latches beautifully etc etc, its not painful, but i appear to have no milk left for him, hence he is just screaming and i feel cruel and totally useless i cant feed my son.
this is the 3rd day that it has 'run out' and i dont know what to do?
i keep putting him on to try and stimulate supply but it just makes him angry.
as its the natural way to feed i thought it might be reasonably straightforward but its not.
[bawling my eyes out emoticon]

OP posts:
tiktok · 24/09/2006 17:41

I agree with daisy - please don't bother drinking any more than you need to to stop yourself feeling thirsty.

It makes no difference at all (research shows this)...please, mumsnetters, don't lets perpetuate this myth of needing to drink more water than you want to

Stiglet · 24/09/2006 19:44

I haven't read through all the other posts but wanted to add that this is just your baby's way of getting you to produce more milk - it's perfectly normal. People often talk about not having enough milk to satisfy the baby but this imo is very rarely the case just the fact that the baby is feeding more often to get you to produce more milk.

It takes a good 6 weeks for your milk supply to regulate and even then baby often has a growth spurt around 10 weeks and will start cluster feeding again. Sometimes also when they have wind they will cry at the breast and try to feed to comfort themselves - maybe try taking lo off the breast every now and again and winding them, rather than just at the end of a feed.

www.breastfeeding.co.uk/ Alot of useful info on here.

You've done really well to get this far and it does get easier I promise

JennyLee · 24/09/2006 20:05

you are doing well take it one day at a time and rest and drink as much as possible and lie with baby

Stiglet · 24/09/2006 20:09

Don't obsess about drinking. I don't drink as much as possible and I've managed to successfully bf 2 children for 12 months!

tiktok · 24/09/2006 23:03

Jenny.....no, she really doesn't have to rest and drink as much as possible

lemonaid · 24/09/2006 23:06

Not from a strictly bf point of view, no. But she's got a 12-day-old baby, she sounds knackered - resting as much as possible (which may not be all that much with a dd already) sounds like a good plan to me.

3andnomore · 24/09/2006 23:10

I think tiktok was more referring to resting and drinking (water, lol) as in influencing milksupply!
of course it's always a good idea to rest as much as possible after having a Baby For so many reasons

tiktok · 24/09/2006 23:22

Of course resting is good

But it won't affect milk quality or quantity.

That's indeed what I meant.

hunkermunker · 24/09/2006 23:26

Chocolate cake pretty important though. Make sure you have a piece.

lemonaid · 24/09/2006 23:29

And if one can claim "I need to rest as much as possible. For the breastfeeding, you know" then it does no harm

[thinks: could this be how the whole myth got started?]

[thinks again, and tries on for size for next time: "I must eat as much chocolate as possible. For the breastfeeding, you know." and "I must be bought as much sparkly jewellery as possible. For the breastfeeding, you know" ]

3andnomore · 24/09/2006 23:31

lololololol

lemonaid · 25/09/2006 08:13

And more seriously, while resting won't affect milk quantity or quality, I do think it affects breastfeeding as a whole. The more rested you are, the more able to think clearly, make rational decisions, and roll along with any knocks you are -- and those are all things you need to be able to do if you are going through a tough patch with breastfeeding.

My own long dark teatime of the soul, I-am-going-to-give-this-baby-formula-because-I-can't-take-it-any-more, moment was resolved by -- well, actually it was resolved by DS point blank refusing formula . But the emotional turmoil that underlay it was resolved by my mother stepping in for a week and making sure I was getting plenty of rest and naps. Everything seemed much more copable-with when I wasn't so absolutely exhausted.

tiktok · 25/09/2006 08:31

lemonaid : nothing at all wrong with anything you've said there

I just get tired of the 'same old same old' being trotted out on mumsnet - water, rest and a good diet - as being of direct importance to the milk and the ability to breastfeed, leading mothers who don't or can't rest, or who don't or can't arrange a good diet or who don't or can't drink gallons of water, thinking they won't be able to breastfeed properly.

It then becomes a mother's responsibility to do all this stuff for herself, when what she really needs is people around who can support her to feed as often as the baby needs, and who encourage her...and of course feed chocolate or whatever makes her and her baby feel cared for

Lucy1977 · 25/09/2006 11:11

1b1b - well done! Sounds like things are improving.

I just wanted to add BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

I doubted my milk supply in the early days and was so very close to giving up most days (even had bottles made up in the fridge ready) but I'm so glad I perservered and now DD is 7.5 months and still loving bf - it's soooo convenient!

With my next baby I'll be so much more relaxed about it. My DD had so many struggles at the breast and because I lacked confidence and RL support (MN was fantastic) it was such a stressful time.

Hope you're doing ok today

x

2Babies0Bumps · 26/09/2006 01:24

i'm ok today. felt a little 'empty' at around 8pm but kept putting him on.
hv came for first visit and said i am doing fine. she said she can see ds latches well and is happy at the breast and appears content when he comes off. she also said as i get lots of wet/dirty nappies it appears all is well.
i read somewhere also that milk flow can be slower in the evenings? it may have been on kellymom.com- can't remember.
he has clustered a bit this evening then calmed down at about 10pm. i am still up watching crap and enjoying not having him stuck to me for a bit! (bad mummy! very bad mummy!!)
i have also managed to crack a deal on eBay for a 'BetterBabySling'. got it really cheap.
want to check out this feeding on the move and also am desperate to do whatever i can to try and stop/help if he develops colic and i'm guessing that if african babies and others who are carried in slings dont cry, mine should hopefully cry less if i have in a sling a lot! if that sentence makes sense?!
sling should also keep ds2 safe from ds1's poking fingers/teeth/wooden bricks and all the other stuff he tries to inflict injury with!!
ds1 had colic and it was a total nightmare as i'm sure you all know! am also hoping bf'ing will help colic.
thanks all for keeping your eye on me and adding suggestions.
x x

3andnomore · 26/09/2006 11:14

lol...was wondering if that was you 1b1b...now 2b0b, lol!
Well done on getting that sling...hopefully you will like it

prince · 26/09/2006 11:53

Just a little note to say its not just about rest sometimes its how anxious you are! When breastfeeding we have something called a "let down reflex" which if you are anxious can inhibit the flow or sometimes all you have to hear is a baby cry and its like niagra falls! Yes you need to keep hydrated but you don't need to go mad. Keep up[ the good work (does your health visitor not know of a local support group as it works well when you are not alone

2Babies0Bumps · 01/10/2006 09:13

ok ladies. sorry if i'm pissing you all off but i have tried everything and he still appears hungry all the time.
i'm getting ever closer to giving up.

mymama · 01/10/2006 09:25

I don't really know what to tell you that hasn't already been said but I know exactly how you feel. Had same thing will all 3 but just kept persisting through. Not sure if I am right here but do they have a bit of growth spurt around the two week mark? If he is latching on okay and feeding well in the morning you are doing all of the right things. He could be overtired and thinks he is hungry?? As tiring and demanding as it feels could you just keep offering the breast and see if he improves over the next day or two? I know I just jammed it in every time they cried and sat on the couch and thought of it as a good excuse to sit down. I sound hopeless here but I did bf all 3 for 14-18months. I think I just perservered through those very early weeks and eventually it runs smoothly and gets so much better. good luck.

misdee · 01/10/2006 09:27

i think i just stays permantly glued to the sofa for ages with dd3 in the evenings feeding her.

2Babies0Bumps · 01/10/2006 09:34

i am putting the boob in every time he cries thinking even if he is not hungry at least he will be stimulating me.
am going to see my cousin today who is still bf'ing her toddler (15m) to see if she has any ideas too.
thats another prob- ds1 is only 14m and still very demanding. dh goes back to work tomorrow and im dreading it.
ds1 lets me feed ds2 now at least. to begin with he would try and break it up as soon as i got my boob out.

GuppinBuppin · 01/10/2006 09:41

try different positions too. I found lying down to feed not only owrked better for DS but I got some rest too!

foundintranslation · 01/10/2006 09:45

There's a book by Deborah Whatshername, the one who wrote Three in a Bed (help me out with the name MNers), called When Your Baby Cries. I've lent mine to someone, but I remember it had sensible suggeations. Sling is a good idea.

Hang in there, 2b0b - this phase might take a while but it will pass - and you're doing really well

suzi2 · 01/10/2006 09:47

2B0B. I think what you're experiencing is pretty normal (if that's any support!). I always felt 'empty' in the evenings but just remember that you never are. If baby feeds, you make milk. It doesn't have to be 'in storage' for them to get it.

I would have suggested a growth spurt if it hadn't been more than a week... but I guess they could have a spurt for that long?

If it's any help, my DS was much the same. Although he was colicky. He just seemed to want fed the whole time he was awake for the first month or two. I think he just wanted comfort. So perhaps your little one is comfort sucking?

If he's generally content and has wet & some pooey nappies then that would suggest that he is getting enough to eat and isn't permenantly starving. Hope your cousin can help you out a bit.

BethT · 01/10/2006 10:36

Had same thing with my 5 week old couple of weeks back, thought he was feeding for england, but have since sussed out he is a comfort sucker, and after i have fed him and am getting to know his pattern, he gets a finger to suck on and is happy as larry (am trying to resist dummy) took me a while to work out as first DS did not do this, he was a model bf baby from day one, but he had the evening whinge for a couple of months very common, they do settle down. Have never bought the 'run out of milk theory' you sound like your doing fine, hang in there, every day a little bit older, and a little bit better. And once it settles down it is soooo easy and quick and you will have done your best

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