Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Please inspire a reluctant breastfeeder!

121 replies

jasper · 28/03/2002 00:05

What's so good about breastfeeding? ( apart from all the stuff that benefits the baby )
Please share your stories.
Eulalia/ tiktok, are you there?

I need inspiration.

Baby Jasper is nearly three weeks old, totally breastfed so far but I am finding it painful and difficult, and in danger of giving up.

PLEASE inspire me with stories about how the pain gets less ( bf counsellor has confirmed latch etc is good).

Even with no pain I can't imagine bf ever gets enjoyable so please convince me of this too.

Thanks.

OP posts:
JanZ · 16/07/2002 09:59

Good to hear of your continuing success Jasper.

Being realistic about the difficulties can really help - it means that you have a more positive mindset when/if you come up against problems.

I know that I was inspired by the example of the mum of a "breast refuser" who talked to us at an antenatal bf workshop. I can remember thinking when I had the problems with ds that "if she could do it, I can do it - my difficulties are minor compared to hers"

tigermoth · 16/07/2002 11:45

Great news, Jasper. What a result! hope others who read this thread in the future find it helps them, too.

SueDonim · 16/07/2002 12:17

Great stuff!

mears · 16/07/2002 12:35

I am so glad that you are happy with the outcome of all your efforts. I know from previous posts you had resorted to bottle feeding the last twice and had been happy with that decision. I am glad that you have been able to experience the really lovely side of breastfeeding when it is established. When ae you starting solids? Just kidding

honeybunny · 16/07/2002 14:06

Jasper-fantastic news. Must say, know exactly how you feel. My new one is now 3months old, and like you, this time I'm a bf success story too!! I'm so chuffed at how well its gone. Ds2 is putting on weight (now heavier than ds1 at the same age despite being 2weeks early and ds1 2weeks late!!)and seems completely content. I'd like to say a big thanks to you for starting up the bf threads as they really helped me as well. Thank you mumsnetters.

niceglasses · 16/07/2002 15:32

Related point to Jaspers I think.....

I'm 30 wks and due in September. I have an 18 month old boy whom I breasfed until about 6 months. I hated it. He was a fidgety, fussy eater easily distracted, never satisfied. For the first 10 weeks he fed constantly and put on around 1lb a week,then lost interest and I had to really force him to eat.... I was knackered, an emotional wreck.

Why then should I consider breastfeeding this new one? I feel I should, but how on earth will I cope with 18mth old son if, like him, I spend the first 10 weeks sat on the sofa with boobs out.....

Yeah, have some family nearby to help some of the time, but not on the scale I will need. Bottle is very very appealing.....

pupuce · 16/07/2002 16:10

Hi niceglasses - as you can see from Honeybunny and Jasper no 2 experiences are the same.... both these ladies had had a hard time the first time around.

Don't assume bottle feeding is necessarily easier.... besides all the sterilising and preparing feed... do you know anyone who can bottle feed with just one hand ? You can breastfeed with 1 - leaving the other to cuddle your oldest or to hold a book and read it to him.

In my experience, DS took 45 minutes for each breatsfeed... DD takes 7 minutes (she does not want 2 sides)... so again 2 different babies and same parents !

Why don't you see how it goes and decide as you go along... you can always change your mind ! But if you know the drill I suspect you will find it easier the 2nd time around.

It's "funny" that you feel this way as I have friends who don't want to bf their 2nd one (having not bf the first) for fear that they are not giving both their children the same start in life. And you seem to hesitate to bf the 2nd one while bf the 1st.

What ever you decide - good luck - we're there to support you !

Demented · 16/07/2002 16:50

Great stuff Jasper!!!

I too am having much more success second time round. My advice to anyone pregnant would be to try b/f, if it isn't for you then it is easier to give up b/f and give bottles than the other way round.

robinw · 16/07/2002 19:05

message withdrawn

bloss · 17/07/2002 00:16

Message withdrawn

bells2 · 17/07/2002 07:47

Nice Glasses - I am another one who had a rotten start to breastfeeding first time around. 6-8 weeks of incessant feeding and sometimes virtually all night sessions. Second time around it couldn't have been more different. 10 minutes each side max and a good 4 - 5 hours between feeds in the early weeks. I can only reiterate the encouragement of others to keep an open mind

Marina · 17/07/2002 11:07

niceglasses, I'd agree with what the others have said about keeping an open mind with your 2nd child. I too had a rotten time getting started, didn't enjoy it much, and persevered because dh has asthma and ds would be going into daycare quite young that autumn. I am so glad I did.
I am expecting no 2 and because I am an optimist and from what I have read here, I feel sure it will be less bad this time. I hope you feel able to give it a try and get the support you will need at first.

SueDonim · 17/07/2002 15:56

I'm another who had a bad start bfing No1 - it lasted three weeks before he went onto formula. With No's 2, 3 and 4, I won't pretend it was easy but we got there in the end and continued for a minumum of a year. I'd definitely echo Demented's comments. Sooooo much easier to give up BFing than give up FFing!

Azzie · 17/07/2002 16:08

I didn't really enjoy bfeeding; despite all efforts by my HV and b'feeding counsellor I found it very painful (ds and dd both seemed to enjoy it, however . I found it just as difficult the second time around, but having done it once I knew that I could do it, and that sustained me and gave me the drive and confidence to carry on.

ionesmum · 17/07/2002 20:33

niceglasses, I bottle-feed and it's a b**y nightmare. Apart from the guilt, which I won't go into here, dd has had terrible problems with colic. We've spent fortunes on bottles and different formulas, as well as having poor dd in pain and sleepless nights. We now have to order her special milk from the chemist, and use two lots of bottles, one for mixing and one for feeding (they have lots of valves and things so are unsuitable for mixing the powder.) This takes about two hour's evry day. If dd wants feeding in the night, I have to get up and go to the kitchen to heat her milk as bottle warmers are too dangerous in our tiny bedroom. I also have to make sure that I have feeds ready at all times as it's very distressing for dd if there isn't. And, as already has been said, you have to concentrate with bottles- it's difficult to read at the same time. It's a myth that you will get into a routine sooner as well - dd wakes at any time between 5 and 10 a.m., naps when she feels like it and goes to bed when she fancies it- last night it was 2 a.m. Add to that the feelings of pathetic inadequacy when surrounded by b/f mums at under-ones and I can promise you it is'nt easy at all...

chinchilla · 17/07/2002 20:48

I had a b**y awful first two weeks of bf, but continued. I don't know why, because I normally give things up without really trying.

My ds is now a year old, and having milk only in the morning. He too went down to three feeds at 8 months, and two at about 10 months.

It has not been easy all the time. My dh could obviously not help with his feeding when he was tiny and wanting food three times a night. I am not a 'boobs out anywhere' person, so good mother and baby rooms were essential in town. I had real trouble latching him on properly for the first two weeks, and even then wasn't sure I was doing it right. I have said that, if I have another child, I will supplement bf with formula, so that dh can help, and so that I am a bit more free to be out and about. I will also be able to leave him with people at an earlier age.

HOWEVER, I will be sad when ds decides that he doesn't want his morning feeds, because it is our extra special time together. I have loved the closeness, although I think that it has been to the detriment of his closeness with dh. I am so glad that I kept going, and am really proud of myself for doing it. I feel a real sense of achievement.

Of course, I am not knocking anyone who feeds formula to their babies. I thought that I would be too, as I really did not expect to keep going. But, if anyone is undecided, I would encourage them to give it a few weeks before giving up, as it did take me that long to settle into it.

SueDonim · 18/07/2002 17:16

I just received this on the internet - it seems to say that however brief your experience of BFing, it's of benefit to both you and your baby. Best wishes, Sue.

-------

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR JUST A FEW DAYS, he will have received your colostrum, or early milk. By providing antibodies and the food his brand-new body expects, nursing gives your baby his first - and easiest - "immunization" and helps get his digestive system going smoothly. Breastfeeding is how your baby expects to start, and helps your own body recover from the birth. Why not use your time in the hospital to prepare your baby for life through the gift of nursing?

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR FOUR TO SIX WEEKS, you will have eased him through the most critical part of his infancy. Newborns who are not breastfed are much more likely to get sick or be hospitalized, and have many more digestive problems than breastfed babies. After 4 to 6 weeks, you'll probably have worked through any
early nursing concerns, too. Make a serious goal of nursing for a month, call La Leche League or a
Lactation Consultant if you have any questions, and you'll be in a better position to decide whether continued breastfeeding is for you.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 3 OR 4 MONTHS, her digestive system will have matured a great deal, and she will be much better able to tolerate the foreign substances in commercial formulas. If there is a family history of allergies, though, you will greatly reduce her risk by waiting a few more months before adding anything at all to her diet of breastmilk. And giving nothing but your milk for the first four months gives strong protection against ear infections for a whole year.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 6 MONTHS, she will be much less likely to suffer an allergic reaction to formula or other foods. At this point, her body is probably ready to tackle some other foods, whether or not you wean. Nursing for at least 6 months helps ensure better health throughout your baby's first year of life, and
reduces your own risk of breast cancer. Nursing for 6 months or more may greatly reduce your little one's risk of ear infections and childhood cancers. And exclusive, frequent breastfeeding during the first 6 months, if your periods have not returned, provides 98% effective contraception.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 9 MONTHS, you will have seen him through the fastest and most important brain and body development of his life on the food that was designed for him - your milk. You may even notice that he is more alert and more active than babies who did not have the benefit of their mother's milk. Weaning may be fairly easy at this age... but then, so is
nursing! If you want to avoid weaning this early, be sure you've been available to nurse for comfort as well as just for food.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR A YEAR, you can avoid the expense and bother of formula. Her one-year-old body can probably handle most of the table foods your family enjoys. Many of the health benefits this year of nursing has given your child will last her whole life. She will have a stronger immune system, for instance, and will be much less likely to need orthodontia or
speech therapy. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for at least a year, to help ensure normal nutrition and health for your baby.

IF YOU NURSE YOUR BABY FOR 18 MONTHS, you will have continued to provide your baby's normal nutrition and protection against illness at a time when illness is common in other babies. Your baby is probably well started on table foods, too. He has had time to form a solid bond with you - a healthy starting point for his growing independence. And he is old enough that you and he can work together on the weaning process, at a pace that he can handle. A former U.S. Surgeon General said, "it is the lucky baby... that nurses to age two."

IF YOUR CHILD WEANS WHEN SHE IS READY, you can feel confident that you have met your baby's physical and emotional needs in a very normal, healthy way. In cultures where there is no pressure to wean, children tend to nurse for at least two years. The World Health Organization and UNICEF strongly encourage breastfeeding through toddlerhood: "Breastmilk is an important source of energy and protein, and helps to protect against disease during the child's second year of life." Our biology seems geared to a weaning age of between 2 1/2 and 7 years*, and it just makes sense to build our children's bones from the milk that was designed to build them. Your milk provides antibodies and other protective substances as long as you continue nursing, and families of nursing toddlers often find that their medical bills are lower than their neighbors' for years to come. Mothers who have nursed longterm have a still lower risk of developing breast cancer. Children who were nursed longterm tend to be very secure, and are less likely to suck their thumbs or carry a blanket. Nursing can help ease both of you through the tears, tantrums, and tumbles that come with early childhood, and helps ensure that any illnesses are milder and easier to deal with. It's an all-purpose mothering tool you won't want to be without! Don't worry that your child will nurse forever. All children stop eventually, no matter what you do, and there are more nursing toddlers around than you might guess.

WHETHER YOU NURSE FOR A DAY OR FOR SEVERAL YEARS, the decision to nurse your child is one you need never regret. And whenever weaning takes place, remember that it is a big step for both of you. If you choose to wean before your child is ready, be sure to do it gradually,
and with love.

*Facts for Life: A Communication Challenge, published
by UNICEF, WHO, and UNESCO, 1989
**K Dettwyler. A Time to Wean. Breastfeeding Abstracts
vol 14 no 1 1994

©1997 Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC 136 Ellis Hollow
Creek Road Ithaca, NY 14850

Bron · 18/07/2002 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

robinw · 20/07/2002 06:35

message withdrawn

jasper · 01/04/2003 21:33

From Reluctant Breastfeeder to Crazy Breastfeeding Lady Showing No Sign of Stopping!
Thanks ladies, your input was enormous.
And now another question.
Baby has just turned one and is still bf morning and night ( and sometimes inbetween).
Can I go away for a week in May without him and still feed when I get back? Or will either he or my breasts forget how to do it?
Thanks!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/04/2003 22:10

I think a week might not work. I stopped feeding DS2 when we went away at the same sort of time having decided it would be a good time to call it quits (DS was 15 months). I decided I wasn't ready to stop about 5 days later and he bit me! Wasn't interested in my breasts at all He was only on bed time feeds by then though

You'd probably be able to keep up the supply by expressing for a week but I'm not sure what your DS would make of it when you got back - it would be a gamble.

Congratulations on sticking with it!!

Good luck

tiktok · 02/04/2003 10:41

I agree with SoupDragon....it's pushing your luck to be away for a week. You may be fine - in my experience babies do sometimes come back without a problem, but you can't tell in advance what's likely to happen. OTOH you may be able to lure him back even if he shows signs of reluctance/memory lapse at first.

Either way, stopping bf suddenly when you are feeding more often than, say, once a day, is likely to make you v. uncomfortable, and you will need to exp for comfort. The effect on your milk supply will be temporary - if the baby starts to feed again, your supply will quickly rise.

Good luck whatever you decide to do

GeorginaA · 02/04/2003 12:26

Same experience here. My ds was 8 months when he went down with quite a serious chest infection. He at one point refused all fluids so we were giving him water and eventually formula through a dropper in desperation. Kept pumping for a week in the hope that once he was better he would return to nice cosy, snuggly breastmilk in favour of the cold plastic funny flavoured bottled formula, but he never did, not even for a night feed

pupuce · 02/04/2003 13:09

Hi Jasper

My 19 months old DD just decided to wean herself off.... and she is NOT interested in going back, I have tried different things and asked many BF counsellors.. she was BF twice a day and I can tell you I was engorged within 48hours ! So yes you may feel very uncomfortable.... it took a good week for my breasts to feel better and 2 weeks for them to be back to "normal"

florenceuk · 02/04/2003 14:31

Pupuce, why do you think your DD did this? Was she very keen on it before? Just wondering as DS is 16mths and still very keen, esp when tired/grumpy/first thing in the morning/after naps etc etc

Swipe left for the next trending thread