Why is bf so fucking difficult?

[stargirl1701]

DD2 born Sun. Bf was a total disaster with DD1. I came home today. It's not going well again. Why? Why is this so fucking hard? It makes no sense to be so hard. FFS. I am so angry that I can't make this work. Why the fuck would we evolve this way?

Yes, midwife tomorrow. Bf helpline, etc. bf cafe on Fri. I just so pissed off.

I need to learn how to feed lying down.

Could a midwife help to show you how to feed lying down? Might be some clips on YouTube also. Once you have the hang of it, oh my god the relief of being able to rest and doze... Hope you're feeling better ASAP.

I'm home!

Community midwife coming tomorrow so I'll ask her about feeding lying down.

Thank you everyone for your support over the last few days. You've really kept me going.

I'm another who found it all so so difficult, I totally empathise with you.

People always used to suggest feeding lying down to me and I just couldn't work it out/didn't like the idea of it. All of a sudden it just clicked and oh my god, the relief!! I don't do it too much now as it gets me in a mess as I don't know how much sleep/feeding has been done, but I do it in the early hours if we've had a long night and I'm knackered, it really helps!

Good luck, hope it all comes together for you soon. Keep bashing away!

Another bloody complication tonight! I put on a bra and breast pads for the first time. I had been advised to use cloth this time. I would appear to be allergic to bamboo! Anywhere the pad touched is red and bumpy and on fire!!!! I've phoned for advice and taken Piriton.

I am beginning to feel spectacularly unlucky!

I'm going to call la leche tomorrow as I think my milk is drying up!

star can you put the nipple cream on it?

Cookielove have you got a pump? Pump, pump, pump is the next best thing to feed, feed, feed to build supply if feeding is an issue. Keep going! I was reading something today about someone who relactated after weeks away from bf, so dont worry about drying up, just keep it going :)

Cookie, do as much skin to skin as possible and pump. I stopped bf with DD1 after we got home at 3 weeks. I then relactated 8 weeks later. Your milk is never truly gone.

I used a double pump (Medela Symphony) which I hired from the NCT. When pumping I found it helpful to:

Massage the breast before pumping - I used a Weleda Nursing Oil.

Look at a photo of your baby.

Smell an item of baby clothes.

Use the Maggie Howell bf hypnotherapy CD.

Reward yourself with choc every time you pump.

I pumped 12 times a day that included 3 overnight sessions.

Thinking of you cookie.

I have put Lansinoh on my nipples. They feel better after the second Piriton.

Cookie - my DD2 was early [37+1] but small and would not BF despite much help from the MW's and plenty of milk. If she latched well, she would quickly become exhausted and fall asleep. Lots tons of weight, got jaundice and was readmitted for light therapy. I had to express every feed and do formula top ups until she was 8 weeks old.

When we were discharged I alternated and offered the boob on every other feed. Then changed her, tickled her toes and topped her up. By 8 weeks she was much more alert, heavier and hungrier and I was able to start to ditch the expressing.

If it's really important to you to BF and you can produce milk though expressing, I think it is worth continuing. However, it is much more important that you are in a good place with your child. I have two daughters who were mix fed, have plenty of friends who used formula only and plenty more who could EBF successfully from birth. There is no way to tell our children apart in terms of who fed who what as a baby.

Stargirl - can you feed standing up and walking around if the baby is in a soft sling or is wearing your baby totally out of the question with your back? I've seen mums do this in the park while supervising their older children and they've made it look pretty easy so it might be an option if sitting for long cluster feeds is the main issue. Can you get a physio to do a housecall and stretch you out a little ?