Breastfeeding a crying baby & how can I tell I'm doing this right?

[Chasabeth]

Hi guys,

I'm very new to this and probably being an over emotional new mum but my DS, born on Monday at 11.05pm so only 4 days old, doesn't seem to be getting enough from BF and I'm struggling.

I was in hospital for 2 days and all the times I fed him I needed help. The midwifes and the breastfeeding supporters said my technique was correct eventually but my nipples are now cracked and sore. Not sure if that's because the first times I did it I don't think he was latched on correctly.

The first night at home he screamed blue murder and my DH and I got zero sleep. The midwife at the hospital said to have some formula on standby as a top up if needed. Had the midwife visit me yesterday and she said my breastfeeding was correct, although it did hurt, and said not to worry about topping up with formula if needed, it's better that he's fed.

Last night we did give him formula as I was so tired (5 hours sleep over 3 nights) and he was fine. Tired BF him today and it's gone ok but the issue now is he's screaming blue murder and it's a real struggle to get him to latch on. I'm starting to feel really disheartened and stressed. I know thats the worst thing to think but I feel I can't provide for him.

My friends who have very recently had babies both said that they had to top up with formula in the first few weeks and not to worry, but I do. He's crying so much when I do try to BF him I'm now struggling with that as well.

Sorry for such a long post but I'm feeling overwhelmed and a bit at the end of my tether. My next BF clinic isn't until next Wednesday however I do have my 5 day check tomorrow so I know I need to bring this up.

Any advice though would be greatly appreciated x

[Chasabeth]

My DH ordered me to have a bath whilst he took my DS out for a walk around the block as he just wouldn't settle.

I have decided to give the nipple shields a go, a brand called Meleda (think that's the correct spelling) and they seem to be working fine. Just had him latched on for 45 minutes and when he let go the teat was full of milk. They do provide some relief and he latches on to them quite well. Putting on lots of Lanolin as well so hopefully they will heal soon.

It was getting to the stage where I was dreading every feed and I didn't want that. Hopefully these nipple guards will help that in the short term xx

[ItsAlwaysBetterOnHoliday]

Don't have any advice to add to what's been offered here as even newer to this than you (my son is 6 days old today) but just wanted to offer solidarity and say thanks for starting this thread. Just had a terrible feeding session where he kept coming off, needing to be relatched, starting again etc etc. Breastfeeding is hard! Sounds like you're doing really well. I think there's going to be tough feeds and easier ones and hopefully we'll get through it till it gets a bit easier. Good luck.

[Chasabeth]

My DS has been over tired today, he was awake for ages and would only sleep when he was latched on which was a nightmare. He fed from 7pm to 8.30pm this evening as well, can't believe it! Any have any tips for shorter feeds?

Typical really as he had such a good night, he went to sleep about 12ish, woke about 3am and my DH fed him the breast milk is expressed earlier and then slept through til 6.30ish. My DH said it'll great if it was like that every night but I know it won't be. xx

[redcaryellowcar]

You've had lots of good advice and i agree that finding some real life support can be really helpful. I used to take ds to a nct group called baby talk, there was a breast feeding counsellor and someone else who made tea and handed out biscuits. I loved this mostly as a chance to chat to other mummies. Might be worth finding a group and trying to get along while dh/dp is around to help you in/ out of car etc?
I also wanted to say you absolutely are doing brilliantly. As you say just focus on one feed at a time and it'll soon become second nature. Don't feel compelled to do anything else for a few days/ weeks, e.g go out or host lots of family and friends. Just enjoy snuggling up with your gorgeous tiny baby.
In a few weeks it will feel like you have always done this and you'll feel like a total pro.
Well done to dh/dp for being so supportive, get him to keep bringing you food anddrinks.

[MaMaPo]

You're doing an amazing job, chasabeth. It is all consuming in the beginning - it feels like it never stops. But it does!

As for tips for shorter feeds, at this age I don't think it's feasible. He is feeding because he is hungry, and he is feeding for a long time because he has a tiny stomach that needs to be filled regularly. Is he around 10 days old now? There's a growth spurt around this time. I had one horror night around this time where I started to feed at 6pm and was still going - 12 hours later. A 12 hour feed! It was pure insanity. But my little one was fine, just needed an epic feed. She went back to normal quickly.

If you haven't had a read of the KellyMom website, please do so. Even without growth spurts it's very common for babies to feed for aaaaages in the evening (it's called cluster feeding) so please don't feel like it's up to you to do things differently or better to stop him having long evening feeds. Get a DVD box set and settle in.

One more thing I wanted to mention which I found really helpful at the beginning is the idea that both you and your baby are learning how to breastfeed. If things aren't going right don't beat yourself up - it's not necessarily that you're doing anything wrong, but that he is taking a little while for him to catch up. Do what you can to get through it. And you should feel really proud of yourself.

[Chasabeth]

Thanks guys for the continued advice.

I am a bit concerned through. Fed my DS this morning with the nipple guards and my left nipple is so sore and battered that it's pealing and I can see bright red underneath where it is pealing. I'm so worried about having to stop BF as my DS was so hungry I had to resort to top up with formula, again not what I wanted to do. I have a GP appointment tomorrow, shall I wait until then or shall I try and see someone today? I'm worried that I let the issue go on so far and was still trying to feed on it when I shouldn't have been, even though midwifes and a BF specialist I saw at my local hospital on Saturday saw how bad they were no one told me to stop or try anything else. xx

[MaMaPo]

Hmm - I'm no expert but I'd say you need to see someone today. Can you call your midwife, or see if the GP can fit you in earlier? I'm sure if you explain the circumstances they can get you an appointment ASAP.

I think others will be along soon to offer more advice. Kudos to you for being so diligent with this.

[Chasabeth]

I tried to get into the GP today with no luck and the nearest BF support group that open today near me was 45 minutes away! Not a good day to have this issue...

I am only feeding him from one side at the moment using the nipple guards, never thought there could be an issue with the guards either, they did seem to help especially with my DS latch (he gets on first time).

I have his 10 day check tomorrow morning first thing so I will bring it up again. Feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with this. My mum and DH are telling me what an amazing job I'm doing, sticking with it but it sure doesn't feel like that at all. Had to use formula to make sure he was fed, I know I say it every time but I hate doing that. I don't want to be reliant on it. I did express from my bad nipple today and got 3oz but only because I was leaking! Not a good look xx

[Minibagel]

This all sounds so familiar. Unlike you chasa I stopped on day 4 as I couldn't cope emotionally or physically with the pain I was feeling or the distress ds1 was in. Reading all these replies and your own has really helped me appreciate what can be done and I know its an ongoing journey for you, but I really hope you get some help and by taking it one feed at a time you get through this.

[Chasabeth]

Had to make the awful decision to say enough is enough and nothing is touching my nipples tonight. There is nothing on them at the mo and they are still hurting. Have enough breast milk to do one feed, maybe two. Hopefully I'll feel better in the morning x

[Minibagel]

That's great mad

Sorry you are having such a painful time of it. I am no expert but I hope they heal soon.

[dennant]

Bumping this as i have been having the same problems but am on day 7. Thought my milk had come in, hard boobs, one has gone soft, the other is very lumpy abd hard still, been trying to favour this side to get it to settle. Expressed last night and virtually nothing came out! The softer boob only gave half an ounce too. Help! We are having to formula feed just to satisfy dd, but i know this will make my supply weaker in the long run so i am persisting with trying boob first, although she falls asleep after 10 mins in anyway and nothing will wake her up till she comes round on her own 20 mins later screaming for more, and yeah we have tried stripping her down, swapping sides, changing nappy etc... gives us 10 more mins then back to sleep again! Very concerned she is only getting foremilk and that i have no hindmilk!!
More advice needed!

[dennant]

Madrigals, thanks for the advice. I had already started a thread, newborn sleeping after 10mins bf, but this was very close to my own set of circumstances.
Saw bf councillor this morning, her only suggestion is that my milk is not in properly, and that baby is just sleepy full stop! Just got to persist and ride it out. She thinks that after a week or two baby should be more awake and therefore feed more efficiently, therefore helping my supply, buts going to be a very frustrating time ahead i think!