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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Calling all nighttime feeders!! Let's all keep us company during those early hours of the morning when we're feeding instead of sleeping!

977 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 12/05/2014 20:28

This is a thread for everyone to chat to each other about their experiences of night time feeding, the good, the bad and the ugly!

There are already a few of us who have been chatting about this in another forum for a few months now but we want to migrate over here to meet more sleep deprived parents!!

Log on and post, no whatever silly hour it is, and vent away about how knackered and stressed you are!! There's a good chance someone else is up and feeding crying with exhaustion too!!

Introductions: I have a 7 week old son, first baby and exclusively breastfeed. He's normally a nightmare to settle to sleep, screaming for hours on end, but will go for 5 hour stretches of sleep!

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 23/05/2014 12:32

No such luck - he didn't really go back down properly at all - got maybe 45 mins til I got up at 7 because he kept waking up with farts every 45 mins/half hour.

He's napping on me now so I'm pinned to the sofa. He took his first nap out in the car for half an hour this morning because I could see he was cranky by the wouldn't settle.

DH is back tonight and has promised to take him in the morning so I can get a decent sleep.

Singsongmama · 23/05/2014 13:33

Hi not sure whether it's luck but....

My DS has slept much better the last few nights and the only difference is that I've made it my mission to make him sleep more during the day. Only an hour after he gets up I make him nap then after every hour or two I make him nap. I know how hard it is to make them sleep as they totally fight it but it has made such a difference (as I say, might just be coincidence!). I've never walked with my pram so much!! Even then I see him peeping out at me for ages, refusing to give in...but eventually he drops off!

Singsongmama · 23/05/2014 21:56

Ignore that post, I don't know a thing about anything. Bed time has turned into an epic disaster with baby screaming and crying big fat distressed tears. I'm a shit mum and a shit wife having just barked at my DH while holding screaming baby. Baby asleep on my boob and husband has scuttled off somewhere so here I am sitting like a prize turkey thinking what a cow I am. I hope you are all having a more peaceful evening.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 23/05/2014 21:59

Well the night shift is about to start....how is everyone doing??

DS had his first lot of immunisations today, at 11am, and he has pretty much slept the whole day since - bar having feeds of course.

So he's either going to stay drowsy and sleep well throughout the night or he's going to wake up shortly, fully rested, full of beans and wanting to play all night Hmm please let it be the former

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 23/05/2014 22:02

Cross posted there singsong

First off you are not a whit mum, shift wife or a cow!!

I've been in your position and I've really screamed at my DH at times but it's so easy and natural to just lash out when we're tired and sick of listening to the baby cry!!! Their tears are awful aren't they, I hate it when DH is really crying Sad

Are you going to be brave and attempt to put the baby down??

OP posts:
Misty9 · 23/05/2014 22:04

Oh dear singsong I'm sure you're not a shit mum or wife; just looking after a little baby is bloody exhausting and takes all of you whilst giving nothing back for a fair old while I'm sure your husband understands, too.

I've finally fed dd to sleep and now need to try and get upstairs to bed. She's been quite restless lately, wanting to feed loads but pulling off and frantically rooting and crying. Can't wait until her tt is snipped; I can at least rule that out as a cause of any issues then.

We finally registered her today so hopefully officially existing will make for a peaceful night Grin

Good luck everyone

Singsongmama · 23/05/2014 22:06

Not yet, have tried four times and each time he screams as if someone is hurting him....it horrible and I don't understand it. He's dry, he's fed and he's tired...and he normally just grumbles, whines and snuffles when I put him down. Terrified to try again.

Singsongmama · 23/05/2014 22:16

Thanks Misty and Writer - off to put him down.

Writer - Jabs are the worst! Hope DS wasn't too upset by them...hope he'll sleep well tonight. The first set are the hardest for sure.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 23/05/2014 22:40

He's just had a good 25 minute feed and is asleep in my arms. I have hardly cuddled him all day due to him sleeping so much so I'm going to have sleepy ones now before I put him down.

I hope your latest attempt was successful singsong?

Ps) just re-read my last post to you and laughed at my typos, what is a 'whit mum' and a 'shift wife'?!

OP posts:
puggywug81 · 23/05/2014 22:44

Hugs to you singsong you are not a shit mum, we all have those off days where baby won't settle no matter what and you feel shit, I can't even tell you how many times I've been in floods oysters that I'm not good enough.tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks

puggywug81 · 23/05/2014 22:45

Oops should read floods of tears not floods oysters!

mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 00:04

Evening all.

DS slept from 7:40-11:40 (me from 8:40) asleep on my arms after a feed. Sat up to do it so he'd take a proper decent feed and I could wind him - doing anything I can to avoid being kept up the rest of the night with his trapped wind.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 24/05/2014 01:42

I sympathise with your dilemma mrsmugoo - I hate having to disturb DS to wind him (potentially waking him) but putting him down with trapped wind is just asking for trouble!

I'm awake feeding again only 90 minutes after I turned the lights off Hmm

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 01:46

Up again after only an hour of sleep...

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 24/05/2014 02:01

Sad - it's exhausting and soul destroying isn't it.

DS had finished his feed and is starting to drift off so I'm going to make the transfer and hope for the best....

OP posts:
QueenOfThorns · 24/05/2014 02:30

Singsongmama, I'm having the same night as you Sad

LO screams as if the world is ending whenever we try to put her down. I've fallen out with DH horribly and got so tired and frustrated that I kicked out at him when he told me to shut up. Now he says that he thinks I'll hurt DD if she makes me angry. I know I'd never do that, but I'm feeling like a pretty crappy kind of person right now.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 24/05/2014 02:43

Oh queen - I think it's hard for the DH/DP's to see us get so frustrated, upset and tired and know that they can't do anything to help. On a few occasions I've probably appeared mental to my DH and he has told me to give DS to him. I know he knows I'd never hurt our son but when I'm in a complete emotional breakdown he's probably worried I'll just snap. We have all 'lost it' to some degree, I admit to having told my DS to shut up when he won't stop crying and I have been exhausted at the end of my tether - I hate myself for it when I do it but I just feel so helpless when his tears won't stop. It's very hard to listen to a screaming baby especially when you have no idea why they're screaming. It's frustrating and mentally draining.

The biggest argument I had with my DH was when I was struggling with attachment at about 3am in the morning, DS was screaming and frantic, and DH was trying to tell me what to do (he thought he was being helpful) and I just lost it out of pure frustration and exhaustion. I stood up and really yelled at him, I told him amidst my tears that when he was the one who was fcking responsible for feeding the baby then he could fcking tell me what to do but until then he could keep his opinions to his f*cking self!" I was livid. I didn't mean it well maybe a little but we all lash out. I then stormed out the bedroom slammed the door and shut myself in the living room.

Arguments will happen - it wasn't until DS got to about 8 weeks that me and DH started getting on better. Up until then our tired state of minds had meant we were constantly bickering at each other. We both agreed to remember that things we said in the heat of the moment probably weren't meant and only said because of how tired we both are - we agreed to just 'let things go' and not dwell on any arguments we have.

DS is now wide awake in his MB! It's been 40 minutes since I put him in it and he's showing non signs of wanting to sleep. Me on the other hand want to sleep desperately! I'm full of a cold and feeling pretty shitty! DH is asleep next to me lucky sod but at least I know that come morning DH will take DS downstairs for a few hours and give me a chance to have a lie in. Lovely Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 24/05/2014 03:02

He's still awake!!

In the last 19 hours I've only had 1.5 hours sleep Sad
So tired Sad

I'm going to try feeding him again......

OP posts:
Singsongmama · 24/05/2014 03:13

Hi everyone, well he slept and goodness only knows what prompted the earlier meltdown. Thank you for your support - loved the typos, they made me smile!! I think flood oysters are pretty standard if you caring for a baby!

I see some of you have been up a lot already...Mugoo and writer...hope they settle for a decent block...will you get "time off" at weekend?

Singsongmama · 24/05/2014 03:18

Writer...that's unbelievable! He must be shattered, you must be shattered....

What does your HV say? Any advice from them? How can he sustain it?? You'd think he'd just conk out eventually and sleep....

Singsongmama · 24/05/2014 03:31

Queen if thorns - hope you've had some rest. I can understand how you are feeling. DH has never actually said it and I've never said it to him as it is so hurtful but both of us know that we always have our end of tether moments. We agreed early on in depths of newborn wakefulness that regardless of time we'd always just walk away and wake the other if we feeling too stressed. Both of us have done it - put DS down and left the room to get the other one. We are all only human and we get tired and frustrated. DH has never said it to me as he knows it would really affect my confidence and self esteem but there are times when I think he is thinking it and that is hard enough.

Sending out settled sleepy vibes to everyone....

mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 03:36

No, I won't get any time off. DH is working all weekend although he has said he'll take him for a couple of hours in the morning.

I never get time off - DH is director of his own company and works more or less 7 days a week even if not in the office.

mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 03:38

Up again after another measily hour of sleep...

mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 03:50

Ok we are back down - I didn't feed him again just did nappy and gripe water and a bit of leg bicycling. He went straight back to sleep - he's really good at that now, he knows day and night. Poor lad gets so gassy in the night :(

mrsmugoo · 24/05/2014 03:51

Ok we are back down - I didn't feed him again just did nappy and gripe water and a bit of leg bicycling. He went straight back to sleep - he's really good at that now, he knows day and night. Poor lad gets so gassy in the night :(