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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

question for those who swiched from bf to ff at a early age

39 replies

kbaby · 29/08/2006 10:31

the question is;

since moving from bf to ff have you noticed a change in your lo behaviour?

the reason for this question is this;

i bf dd for 6 months however she was a very unsettled baby, would only be carried, would never let me put her down, cried constantly, collicy. because she would only be cuddled to sleep she developed bad sleep assoc and even now at 2 if she needs a nap i have to rock her like a baby. while i was expecting the new baby everyone said i would be unlucky to get 2 the same, well you can guess whats happened. DS is exactly the same as dd was. he cries constantly and will only be held. i cant even get dressed in the am and hell only slep if being rocked. it seems worse now as i have dd to look after and cant just hold him all the time. plus i couldnt bear another bad sleeper.

a throw away comment from mil has got me thinking. she said the same on dd but because i wanted to bf i told her what she said was rubbish, however i am now thinking that maybe shes right and it would be far easier on me to ff but also maybe settle ds more. she said that maybe hes just not full on my milk or it isnt agreeing with him which is causing him to be upset. i dont know maybe im grasping at straws but i cant believe that i have another baby whos so difficult.

OP posts:
KristinaM · 29/08/2006 10:43

kbaby -I shoudl say i am not the person you are looking for as I havent switched from Bf to FF. But I just wanted to say i'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. i have a 8 month old and a 27 month old and I'm finding it really difficult too and my younger one is a "good" baby. I dont knwo HOW i woudl cope if he was as difficult as his older brother.

I BF/am BF them both, but like you i did wonder as my DD was FF and was SUCH a good baby. So i can understand why you are clutching at straws. Honestly if soemone told me that sprinkling rose petals round the cot and reciting poetry woudl make them both sleep i would do it like a shot

Do you need to switch to Ff now for your own sanity? I think you probably knwo that its not going to chaneg your baby's personality but if thats what you have to do.......

In answer to your questions, I dont think its possible for your Bm to disagree with the baby ?????? If anything I woudl have thought that formula woudl make a coliky baby puke even more? But I'm not an expert...just another sleep deprived mum [sigh]

tiktok · 29/08/2006 10:43

kbaby, this is so hard on you.

I honestly don't think it's a 'milk issue' with either of your children, at least not from what you say here.

There are ways to get a 2-year-old to nap without rocking - 'bad sleep asociations' don't have to last as long as that.

Maybe your babies are 'high needs' and need careful, sensitive and responsive handling (there's a lot on the web about 'high needs') - they can be exhausting to care for, and some parents have found that just accepting this is actually less exhausting than fighting it. Co-sleeping is helpful, too.

There are other options to explore like cranial osteopathy, getting the bf checked so positioning and attachment are optimised.

I hope others will post with some ideas.

Saturn74 · 29/08/2006 10:47

Just wanted to echo tiktok's suggestion of cranial osteopathy. DS1 had a traumatic forceps delivery. He was a very 'high needs' baby and his sleep routine was dreadful. We found cranial osteopathy really helpful for him.

ghosty · 29/08/2006 10:48

From my personal experience changing to formula won't necessarily make your baby happier ... it may be that that is his personality for now ...
That may not be what you want to hear though ...
I put DS on formula at 6 weeks for lots of reasons but to settle him was one of them - he remained a grumpy little so and so till he could talk and has always been a bad sleeper until very recently (he is 6 years old now)... he needed rocking and holding as a baby until I did cc.
DD was fully breastfed until 11 months and is a fab sleeper and was a very settled baby, hardly ever cried ....
So for me, the method of feeding did not change the personality of my baby ......

KristinaM · 29/08/2006 10:48

oooh i knew an expert would come along soon

ghosty · 29/08/2006 10:49

'high needs' baby ... that is what DS was ...

stitch · 29/08/2006 10:52

i doubt it is the milk, but if you are desperate, then give the baby a bottle. or better yet, get your mil to give it.
i am very pro breastfeeding, but ff does have its uses. how old is your ds?

KristinaM · 29/08/2006 11:01

what about getting MIl to come round every monring when you are out and clean the house, do the washing and prepare dinner? I bet that woudl help you settle the kids in teh evening???? And she coudl babysit every Saturday night so you coudl get a break???

blueshoes · 29/08/2006 11:05

kbaby, I would second the personality/temperament factor in dd's factiousness and inability to settle herself. She was bf-ed until 17 months but only because she consistently and vehemently refused bottles and needed the comfort of suckling for a long time. BTW, dd was tube fed for the first 2 weeks of her life with far more milk than she ever needed and she still got a reputation for being the most unsettled baby in SCBU. So stuffing her did not help one bit!

I am holding my breath for No.2 who arrives in a few weeks. It could be me saying "i cant believe that i have another baby whos so difficult."

Cappuccino · 29/08/2006 11:10

your mil's comment sounds like a lot of oldfashioned advice about 'not having enough milk' etc which was what her generation was led to believe

if I was you I wouldn't let it bother you; I certainly don't think it's what's upsetting your child. Your body makes milk just for your own child, why would he be happier with something out of a bottle?

I've bf one baby and bottlefed another so I'm no tub-thumper, btw. And I wouldn't judge you either way

Original poster
kbaby · 29/08/2006 11:10

hi ds is only 4 weeks old and in a way i know its too early to tell how hell be but so far all the signs are that hes like dd. I Tried craniel thingy with dd but it didnt have any effect. mil is actually pretty good and looks after dd twice a week but then ive still got the unputabledown ds with me. the crying when i have got to put him down ie to do dinner is just unbearble and relentless.
i just want him and me to be happy

OP posts:
tiktok · 29/08/2006 11:17

kbaby - he certainly sounds high needs, and not nutritionally deficient in some way. He's only 4 weeks - loads of time to change, and it really is too soon to think his personality is fixed

The putting down to make dinner thing is a real challenge - some mothers can cook and hold the baby (sling, carrier, one-handed etc) but I never could, I have to say.

Can mil make dinner in the mornings when she has dd? That would give you a break some nights. A take away on another night, and dh helping out on another, and all the family to an Italian for a happy hour pizza for another...any of these ideas any good?

They are easier than trying to change the needs/personality of a four week old, I think

Littlefish · 29/08/2006 11:23

kbaby, I gave up breastfeeding dd at 4 weeks and switched to ff (for reasons too numerous to go into). She was horrendously colicy and grizzly when breastfeeding, and continued to be colicy and grizzly when formula fed. I can only echo what others have said, that the ff made no difference (not that it was meant to). What finally helped was cranial osteopathy. It took a few sessions, but she definitely became more settled and less uncomfortable.

stitch · 29/08/2006 11:24

baby massage. give baby a bath, then in sunny warm spot, massage baby with olive oil, or some such.
always cook enough for severa l meals at once. it takes the same time to cook three things together as two and besides, this is the exact time of life that convenience foods are useful for.
fresh sooup from a packet will do you far more good than a crying baby whilst you chop and prepare fresh veg for homemade soup etc.
also, suggest to friends that unstead of buying you flowers, they bring dinner!

blueshoes · 29/08/2006 11:26

kbaby, on the cooking front, I agree that is the most challenging with a high needs baby, because you are limited in what you can do with one hand whilst dealing with knives, hot stove/liquids.

Agree with tiktok to see if MIL can help out in anyway. I roped dh in as well, on weekends. Bulk cook, freeze lots of meals. If I had to cook during the day, I would divide cooking/prep tasks into one-handed, two-handed (to do only when lo is napping or the 5 mins after a nap she can be put down before fussing). Usually will wait for dh to come home before actually cooking - better to have things that you can just bung into the oven rather than pan/stir-frying over a hob.

Would definitely check out a sling.

Hope things get better soon

koshka1984 · 29/08/2006 11:27

i coudnt BF. My LO lost a ot of weight in the first week. He always cried and didnt sleep.
Now i FF he is a good weight but not overweight and he is settleing into a routine of sleeping longer (than 4 hours) at night. hes 8 weeks

nicand2 · 29/08/2006 11:44

I switched to ff when my Ds was 10 days as bf just wasn't working after much perseverance. My personal experience was that me and ds found it much easier to get into a routine, he did become more settled as he was finally feeding well. he is now 21 months and a really content toddler (sleeps really well during day and night and is happy to play alone for ages) however could just be luck!

The only thing I would say is that ff did seem to create a lot of extra work ie washing and sterilising bottles. Also we did visit a cranial oseteopath as DS had pressure in his skull from a long labour so i would say that is worth a try first.

LaDiDaDi · 29/08/2006 11:58

Definitely think about getting a sling, my dd is very similar to your lo and hates being put down during the day, though luckily she sleeps well at nights. I have found a sling priceless, she will be carried around in it leaving me with two free hands to do stuff with.

Second the convenience foods bit, nice fresh cartons of soup and lovely crusty bread is healthy and easy. Covent Garden people do risotto tubs now and it's lovely.

poppiesinaline · 29/08/2006 12:32

Does ds have a time of day when he is particularly difficult? Maybe try giving a ff one day during this time and see if it makes any difference. Dunno, really. Its all trial and error.

Another vote for cranio-osteopathy though.

Original poster
kbaby · 30/08/2006 11:05

Hmm maybe ill have to give the cranio-osteopathy a go.

He does have his moments where he is content, usually after a feed and I can put him down but its only for 10 minutes before he cries to be picked up again, ill have to try the sling as even simple things like putting washing on the line have to be rushed while hes crying.

Its difficult for DH to do the dinner as normally I give him DS to hold/pacify etc while I bath DD(2YRS) and put her to bed.
I guess the only option is for me to chill out! its just annoying as some friends FF and all I get from them is how wonderful their baby is and its because they FF etc and why dont I.

OP posts:
Bibliophile · 30/08/2006 11:15

Some people really recommend the natures nest Amby baby hammock for hard to settle babies.

whiffy · 30/08/2006 11:35

why not just add a bottle of FF every day and STILL bf? I did this with DS1 on recommendation of GP as DS not thriving first of all, and it seemed to do the trick in making him a bot calmer/contented. I never had any problems keeping up the BF at the same time. And DS seemingly unbothered at variety pack option...

also I'd second all the cranial osteo recommendations..

blueshoes · 30/08/2006 14:28

Bibliophile, I bought the Amby baby hammock in desperation (£140!) and it did not work. Dd just thought it was a toy and got bored with the bouncing after 5 mins, and screamed to get out.

Luckily, it came with a sleep guarantee and so I was able to return it for a refund.

kayzed · 30/08/2006 21:56

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dinosaur · 30/08/2006 21:57

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