question for those who swiched from bf to ff at a early age

[kbaby]

the question is;

since moving from bf to ff have you noticed a change in your lo behaviour?

the reason for this question is this;

i bf dd for 6 months however she was a very unsettled baby, would only be carried, would never let me put her down, cried constantly, collicy. because she would only be cuddled to sleep she developed bad sleep assoc and even now at 2 if she needs a nap i have to rock her like a baby. while i was expecting the new baby everyone said i would be unlucky to get 2 the same, well you can guess whats happened. DS is exactly the same as dd was. he cries constantly and will only be held. i cant even get dressed in the am and hell only slep if being rocked. it seems worse now as i have dd to look after and cant just hold him all the time. plus i couldnt bear another bad sleeper.

a throw away comment from mil has got me thinking. she said the same on dd but because i wanted to bf i told her what she said was rubbish, however i am now thinking that maybe shes right and it would be far easier on me to ff but also maybe settle ds more. she said that maybe hes just not full on my milk or it isnt agreeing with him which is causing him to be upset. i dont know maybe im grasping at straws but i cant believe that i have another baby whos so difficult.

I'm too lazy to read what everyone else has said...sorry, so forgive me if somebody else has already said this.
I have fed 3 (and am still feeding) and mine all had colic. I can appreciate what you are going through. DS (first child) was very needy (still is aged 5yrs, his personality I guess); dd1 v bad colic but easy going (thought I had it cracked with her) and dd2 vv bad colic and needy just like DS.
I found a solution to the colic in an osteopath. The difference was unbelievable. There was an immediate change after the first session. However, I found that certain foods that I ate didn't help either. It's a process of elimination.
I found that using a sling was a great comfort to mine, either me using it or my husband. My third will only settle for him even though she is still fully bf at 1 yr!
You have to do what suits you. My MIL kept saying to me 'have a break from the baby and give them a bottle'; but she never bf and didn't understand that it's more trouble! I didn't feel I needed a break I just wanted them to stop crying and let me get washed/dressed/eat...
I hope this helps.

kbaby - I am sorry to hear you are having such a a hard time, however I don't think it has anything to do with bf. My DS (now 2.3 years old and still bf) was a very high need baby until around age 4 months and then he got better and better.

He has converted from a baby that woke up every hour in the first few weeks (he hardly ever slept during the day either) to a very content and happy baby by around 5 - 6 months to a toddler who sleeps 14 hours a day !

So what I am saying is that it is not set in concrete that your baby will always be this high need because he is bf. I do not believe there is a any link between a baby's temperament/sleep pattern and bf. I think your friends are wrong in saying that ff babies are more content. There is absolutely no evidence for this belief. I also think it is very unfair for your friends to make such assumptions when in fact it has absoluetly nothing to do with the facts.

If anything the skin to skin contact that a baby gets from his mother plus lots of other reasons (perhaps not appropriate for me to list on this thread) a bf baby can be far more content than a ff baby.

The first few months are really tough. Rest assurred that things will get easier soon as baby finds his own pattern of feeding and sleeping

thanks for the reassurance- i guess im preempting problems because dd turned into a nightmare sleeper even cc didnt work and she still wakes now. im afraid that holding ds so much will give me the same problems re sleep as dd. i think i will give cranial thingy a go as its worth a try.
the worst part of the day is evenings when im trying to keep dd entertained and tudy the house, do washing etc and ds needs carrying or screams. ill have to try the sling but im afraid of him then getting too used to being carried.

how did i end up with 2 collicy children

kayzed - i admire your dedication, im struggling to express 5 ozs a day and keep everyone happy.

kbaby - babies NEED to be held. It is sad that in our western culture we are told that babies get dependent/needy if held, it is quite the opposite. The more affection and physical contact a baby/child has with its parents, the less needy they become.

kbaby - no one can do all this at once : "im trying to keep dd entertained and tidy the house, do washing etc and ds needs carrying or screams"

Not possible.

You need help and support at this particular time - someone else can do the tidying and so on (maybe helpful mil?).

Please don't worry about your ds getting used to being carried...this is normal. He's been carried in pregnancy and that wasn't that long ago! He needs to be carried at the moment, and he will not be like this forever. Yes, you are 'getting him used' to something - he is getting used to being loved and cared for, and having his needs taken seriously
That's a great confidence booster for him, and builds self-esteem and the ability to love in return.
There's no better lesson a parent can teach a newborn than this (far more important than feeding, and you know how I support bf!)

But this is not something you can do and tidy, wash, cook, entertain at the same time, single handedly.

It is easier to change your routines and support systems than to change a four-week-old's normal needs, IMO.

Good luck.

In answer to your questions, I dont think its possible for your Bm to disagree with the baby ?????? If anything I woudl have thought that formula woudl make a coliky baby puke even more? But I'm not an expert...just another sleep deprived mum [sigh]

it is possible to be allergic to breastmilk - one of my work colleagues had a little boy who cried non-stop it seemed until he was 5 months old and slept very very badly. She switched to a hypoallergenic formula which she had to get on prescription having tried everything else - leaving things out of her diet, trying various formulas and from 5 months he was much better. He is a very allergic child and has nut and gluten allergies.

It's something worth thinking about if you have allergies yourself and your baby seems to be suffering. She was incredibly frustrated because she somehow knew her milk was not agreeing with her ds but equally didn't think it could be that. 5 months is a long time to suffer.

Such cases must be very rare but these things are always worth checking out.

There are one or two cases I have read about where highly susceptible babies do not thrive and are very miserable on breastmilk and it seems to be because of allergies....this isn't kbaby's situation because the baby is basically ok and thriving, but fusses and cries a lot when he isn't held ...when he's held, he's ok.

Tiring, demanding.....but not allergic, I wouldn't say.

I agree with tiktok that kbaby's case does not sound like baby has allergies. It is very very rare for a baby to react so badly to bm or mum's diet. Sometimes cutting out some things from mum's diet MAY help if baby is particularly colicy, etc. I remember DS didn't like garlic (not sure whether on my breath or in my milk !!) he seemed to pull away every time I ate garlic in my food and fed him immediatley after so when he was under 6 months old I stopped eating garlic. Now at over 2 years I put it in his food sometimes and he loves it

I also cut out caffein and chocolate (very tough indeed !) just to be on the safe side, although I have to add it is NOT scientifically proven that any of these things disagree with bf babies. They may just be old breastfeeding wive's tales !

I think kbaby just sounds overwhelmed and tired (don't blame her) on top of which she has a baby who needs lots of physical contact. I wouldn't worry about allergies at this stage, unless you notice other things in baby's behaviour or physical appearance which may suggest otherwise.

I would also add that formula is a major culprit in setting off infant allergies.

Kbaby - just to give you a FF perspective, DS was FF since 3 days old and was a very 'fretful' baby, he had reflux and nothing would settle him, not even wearing him in a sling, we resorted to using a routine which is what suited him best out of everything we tried. Anyway, just wanting to point out that FF babies can be hard work too - I'd advise you keep BF as long as you're happy to (wish I'd been able to) because it's better for him than FF.

thanks everyone im going to continue bf but take it a week at a time, i fed dd until she was 6 months but thats too long a goal for me at the moment.
he's gained 7.5 ozs in 5 days this week so hes obv getting enough.

dh has offered to give ebm in a bottle for 1 feed at night so hopefully if i get some sleep things will seem better in the day.