Any tips for successful bfing with enormous boobs?

[qumquat]

Dd is 3 weeks and I've struggled a lot with bfing so far. Dd's latch is still a work in progress but most of the other probs I'm having seem to be breast size related (currently 32j, pre preg 30h). Does anyone have any advice on the issues below?

I have to hold my breast while feeding letting it hang is too uncomfortable, but this means feeding always takes two hands. Dd feeds for two hours at a stretch normally and I getting weak through lack of food and water. This is the major issue.

I can't fathom how to feed discreetly in public.

I can't find any suitable clothes for breast feeding and am felling pretty miserable at the thought of being stuck in dh's shirts for 6 months. (I have had a bra breakthrough- elomi underwired - it doesn't fit perfectly but it's amazing after the non underwired ones!)

The weight of my boobs is giving me back ache.

Any ideas or experiences gratefully received!

Hi qumquat,

I had very similar problems on all fronts.

I used a brest friend to give good support to DS (sometimes lifted it a little further with a pillow underneath one side)... then got comfortable with my water beside me. The firm support meant i could use one hand for holding myself in place (and not suffocating poor DS).

I used a bebe au lait breastfeeding apron; worked much better for me than a shawl, which would always just fall off when i had to use 2 hands for holding baby/breast. In this case (ie, out, without my feeding pillow) i would sit with my ankle on my other leg, so my knee was a support for baby's head. I still needed two hands, but if need be i could lift my leg up temporarily to support DS for a brief drink/whatever respite.

I discovered the anita underwired bras for DS2 (where were they for DS1??). i had to buy everything online as i never found anywhere near me that worked. Took a bit of to and froing to get the right size, but my seller was very helpful.

I discovered that most seasons Phase 8 and betty jackson black by debenhams have a cowl neck top that is stretchy enough to pull down over your boobs, but still flatters a big bust, and has soft gathers at the waist. Phase 8 doesn't seem to have any in stock just at the moment (at least my local store didn't last week), but i got a few on ebay outlet when i was pregnant. I'm still wearing them, and i'm not breastfeeding; they're actually quite nice tops. I got 4 cardies/jumpers from h&m on a single trip when it turned cold. It really helps to ask staff and explain what you need.

I can't help much on the backache, except make sure to sit up straight when feeding (the brest friend had a support around your back which i found helped), and try pilates exercises to help get your tummy stronger which will help you sit better for a long time. Make sure you lift baby to breast, not drop breast to baby.

Best of luck!

I have used the 'rugby ball' hold for feeding DD, which has really helped me. I balance her on a feeding pillow, and support her with one hand a bit, meaning I have a hand free for drink/food/phone etv,.

Oh, and if you need clothing a bit more structured; bravissimo do a super duper curvy size now. I found a button up shirt from them that worked for feeding, too.

dd - rugby ball was the trick (but hard to do when out and about)
ds - the make a c-shape boob foldy thingie and cross cradle hold

get along to a BF cafe/LLL meeting as BFing with mahoosive boobies is a bit of an art

and being discrete is difficult when your boobs have their own airspace (DOI - currently 30-32H, pre BFing 28G) and your baby doesnt like being covered up. I do the vest under top/shirt thing when you yank down vest and push up top to minimise others' viewing dis-pleasure

FYI - anita 5035 underwires are awesome - I get the backs reducedby envie lingerie to give the size I need. The other anitas are alright but not a patch on the 5035s

forgot the most impt bit - re two handed feeding. agree is a total pain. the only way round it imho is to learn to feed lying down. Total lifesaver.

I second the bebe au lait, mine is the best thing I bought! And if you get one off ebay they're so much cheaper! Shawls just fall off me!

And feeding lying down is very handy too!

When your little one is a bit older you can balance her head on a pillow and hold your breast with one hand, I'm doing this right now and mumsnetting/stuffing my face with malteasers

This might sound stupid, being very modestly built myself, but can you not prop yourself on a small cushion or something similar?

Forgot to say, for clothes I always where a stretchy vest top under whatever top I'm wearing. The top goes up and the vest top goes down, so I'm not flashing my flabby tummy to anyone sitting either side of me. I miss wearing dresses though

Mine were all the anita 5035 too; i just got various colours :-) Got a bit boring tho :-/

Terribly jealous of those of you who managed to figure out how to feed while lying down.... :-/

Kellymom has a page of advice on this. Hold your breast like a burger was one tip I remember. Get yourself a comfy place to lean back, and keep a sports bottle of water next to it and some snacks - take a couple minutes to go to the lot and grab the remote and food before a feed. A My Breast Friend cushion may help you get a hand free. This is the worst stage IME - by 6 weeks it's starting to get much easier.
By 4 months you can try holding them seated on your lap which I found way easier.

Thanks everyone for such detailed advice . I've actually ordered an Anita bra but it still hasn't turned up, will have to chase it. Off to look up your recommendations now while dd asleep!

I had an inflatable bath pillow in the changing bag for DC1, but by DC2, I had learned to put her head in the crook of my arm, so close to me that my breast was supported.

Clothes-wise, I go for jersey tops with coat or waterfall cardigan.

DD is on my knee. I hold the boob but prop up the baby.

I'm still in NcT nursing bras!

Agree with advice on vest top under top.

Also a plastic sports waterbottle came everywhere with me in the early days.

If out, a changing bag and a blanket folded up on your knee doubles as a pillow.
Inside, feeding pillow, I made mine so don't know what bought ones are like or feed lying down.
2 vest tops, 1 pulled up one pulled down. or I had 2 dresses from m&s beachwear dep, which sounds odd, but had a big stretchy neck and vest top underneath was brilliant.
Maybe try a wrap like a money for discreet feeding when out as well, but practice in the house in front of the mirror. Good luck!

I was not quite to this scale but do sympathise.
I was convinced my pregnancy size dd and e could not get bigger when baby was born. Got a bra straight away and then further sizes up to i think f in the end.
I felt like jordan.
If youre little like me there felt like no space between chest baby and legs when you are sat down.
Certainly no space for a cushion.
Yes it got better as baby grew.
It feels like you need to grab the food when you can and i ate a lot of food (cool) carefully over the baby. Even a roast dinner 1 handed in a pub.
They do go down a lot. Now i just have backache from carrying the baby

I'm a similar size to you, and had the same issues to start.

Others have already got you decent bras, and the vest/top thing that I found essential

The two handed feeding was a killer - you can't even change the channel! Lying down gives you a free hand, and after about 8 weeks, I found I could sit with one leg crossed over the other, left ankle on right thigh(or vice versa) with DD's head in the crook of my left knee, which gave me a hand. Cushions lifted DD too high - no use her being above where my boobs are, and large ones tend to be lower slung as it were.
At 15 months, I still need to hold my boob, but DD is more than capable of positioning herself!

Re- public feeding, vest down, top up, by the time your hand is on your boob too, there is very little flesh visible. I used to let my scarf drape over the side-boob, and tbh, I think very few people noticed what we were doing (I always felt a muslin/blanket covering drew attention to us), and even fewer cared

Massive of nork here, I wore a well fitting but stretchy normal underwired bra & pulled cup down to feed or cup up the way.
For feeding I found if I sat up and had my leg crossed over, my wrist would rest on my knee & support baby whilst feeding.
Didn't lift boob up, baby was kinda lower & under a bit.

definitely try feeding whilst lying back so the weight of the boob falls back against your body and the baby is lying on top of you. Having big boobs can cause the ducts inside the breast to be stretched when unsupported which is very uncomfortable. I second all those who say get along to a bf support group - nothing like a bit of RL support (pun intended) and hands on (ditto) help and advice.
Good luck!

I found lying on my side in bed with the baby lying beside me the easiest way.

Very similar size to you, I am 30H. Another vote for the Bebe au lait cover. Also, a nursing vest under a top I could pull up worked for me. I also used a straw to drink and got my husband or mum to feed me when my baby was cluster feeding, or latched on for a long time.

Currently feeding 14 week old DD via 34j breasts. I feel your pain.

Great advice above. Phase Eight is great. H&M is good for long spaghetti strap vests and loose tshirts. Vest down/tshirt up is great, with optional scarf to cover side view.

Hope you can follow this description ... If I'm latching onto left boob, I hold boob with my left hand and baby's head with my right hand, supporting baby with my right arm. Once she's latched, I transfer the weight of baby into my left arm, with her head in the crook of my arm and some boob hoisted up and wedged in by my bicep/upper arm area. Does that make sense? My forearm reaches down her back.

In the early days I mentioned to a MW about being worried about suffocating her, and she said to tuck her bum in, as this makes her lift her nose away from the boob. Very clever.

Also, once your size has settled down, there's a lady on eBay who sells converter kits to make a normal bra into a nursing bra. She'll even do it for you his the post for £9.50. I'm going to get a couple done I think. I'm fed up of this daft sweaty monoboob.

Congratulations!

Some great advice here. The only thing I would add that really helped me (36K at my biggest) was to use a rolled up muslin under my boob which kind of propped it up a bit for feeding.

I'm currently feeding almost 7 week old ds and am an l cup so understand what you are feeling completely. Bfing at this stage is hard anyway never mind an extra complication.

Buy yourself a bfing apron. I don't care about being librrated and it being beautiful to see yada yada yada. My norks are bigger than baby's head. It is my breast and my decision as to how much I show in public. If I feel happier with an apron on when in public that is my choice. I tell people who comment about the aoron that ds is too nosey to feed in public without it.

With regards to position I have a v shaped pillow at home. That goes on my lap. Baby curls up around my tummy and I put arm under babiez head using the inside of that arm to syop breast falling outwards. Latch baby on, then I use spare hand to make sure pillow is right underneath boob and baby so they are supported. I use a blanket sometimes to support arm or wrist holding baby. Play around with cushion combinations until you find what works for you. Having looked at the bfing pillows I don't think they would work as well as the v shaped pillow for us.

With regards to the backache I swapped bras but can't remember which? As long as it fits. I also make surs my bfing position is comfortable and supportive of me first then bring baby to breast. It's easy to get hunched over baby to feed.

Make sure you are moving around between feeds. Pass baby to someone else to hold. Get up and walk around. Have a bath. Go for a walk. You don't realise how exhausting it is being pinned to the sofa for hours.

Also practice feeding lying down. I find it is the best way to get ds to sleep and be able to roll away from him for a rest during the day.

Keep telling yourself that this stage will pass. At 6 weeks it gets better and it really does!

I have similar issues, I am a 34j well done on finding a wired bra, I didn't even know they existed. I feed using a widgey cushion and kind of angle my boob sideways. I do have to use one hand to kind of hold the breast but it leaves my other hand free to flick through a magazine or my phone. I also often feed laying down when I can. Lay the boob on the bed and the baby next to the boob on his side. As baby gets older and better at latching you won't need to give so much help. My LO is 13w now and latches himself. As far as tops are concerned I tend to just wear 2 layers, a stretchy vest and then a normal T shirt or jumper on top. I pull the vest down and the jumper up to create a little hole and pop the nipple out. I also use a bebe au lait cover as I feel people do stare a bit too much as my boobs are bigger than he baby's head so I like to cover but that's personal choice, don't feel you have to. Another good position is holding baby kind of under your arm. I think it's called the football hold? Google it.
Don't give up. It gets easier, really. Give it another few weeks and good luck

Also sometimes rolling up a muslin and putting it under boob to prop up can help with positioning