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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Wwyd - bfding to ff and weaning

31 replies

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 20:42

Just looking for some opinions really to help me to decide on best course of action - OH gets bored of me talking about it! I ebf my almost 5 month old DD. She will v reluctantly take a bottle of ebm but I find it hard to find time to express and tbh I was only doing to cos ppl (mil, oh etc) kept saying how she needs to be able to take a bottle, and yes I guess she does if I ever need to leave her and miss a feed. So...fine she will take a bottle but really doesn't like it much and last time I went out she pretty much waited until I got back to feed rather than take a full feed from bottle...anyway I digress! Everyone seems to think I should be getting her onto formula now, even my mum. OH has been lovely and supportive of bf but even he thinks I should stop feeding her after 6 months...well I cant just stop! And I tried giving her a bottle of formula (having given in to these pressures) for the past two days as a mid morning feed and she flat out refused it, crying, spitting it out etc. It made me think, why am I doing this? For her? No...for me? Not really as I dont really want to give her formula, I mean there is nothing wrong with it, I just know I don't need to as I can bf her and am happy to...Sorry this is so confused...I dont want to bf forever, but I am happy to keep bfding her whilst she starts solids but everyone seems to think this would be weird....I just feel this pressure to stop and stop soon...I feel this whole 6m mark is looming and if I continue after that I will get a lot of comments. Anyone else been in this position? How does bfding fit in with weaning? Ideally I would skip bottles altogether too and get her on a cup or beaker, is this possible or is she too young? Sorry for the ramble I guess I am just confused as to what to do for the best....

OP posts:

YokoUhOh · 19/01/2014 20:53

Keep breastfeeding! You're doing great :) DS is 14 months and has never had a bottle, he just drinks water when I'm at work. Ignore MIL et al, she probably has outdated views on breastfeeding. Good luck!

HoratiaDrelincourt · 19/01/2014 20:56

It's a shame you haven't had more support from your family.

If you and baby are happy with breastfeeding then there's no need to stop. Babies take to solid food fairly slowly - they are learning how to deal with it in their mouths, and their digestive system has to get used to it too - so for several months they are still very reliant on milk.

You might like to visit the Kellymom website for scientific information about the benefits of continuing to bf.

However, you might like to consider introducing one bottle at a time to make your life easier - be under no illusions, at this point it is far far easier for you to give a bf feed than a ff feed, so it's only worth doing if it helps you, eg if DP is going to commit to take over any night feeds, or give you a big Saturday lie-in each, or a Friday night booze-up for that matter, or whatever.

GeorgieJo · 19/01/2014 20:56

I agree - keep bf for as long as you want. My DH and MIL have been suggesting I stop since 6 weeks (14 weeks now). If you want to carry on, you should!

pinkpeoniesx · 19/01/2014 21:01

My DS is also 5 months and EBF. I was worrying about bottles too as he's never had one as I've never left him long enough that's he's needed a feed, so I tried him with a cup of milk to see how he reacted and he drank straight from it!! It's really put my mind at rest for when he moves onto weaning and is having water.
Ps I have every intention of carrying on breastfeeding for aslong as DS wants it. If you and baby are happy with it then go for it. Even if you breastfeed till they're 2 that's still a tiny amount of time in the greater scheme

lilyaldrin · 19/01/2014 21:03

It's much healthier for your baby to breastfeed alongside introducing solids - it provides the best protection against allergies and intolerances.

CitrusyOne · 19/01/2014 21:06

I always aimed for 6 months as my target and when dd was 3 and 4 months old I was adamant I would stop
At six months, then when she was approaching six months I felt the same as you- why stop now? It's just getting easy! So I carried on. Dd self weaned at 14 months. Do what works for you, but my dd took to solids really well and she cut down on milk feeds left, right and centre. She did take a bottle of ebm when I went back to work at 9 months but only for a couple of weeks then she just had a feed night and morning from about 10 months.

Cakeismymaster · 19/01/2014 21:08

islingtongirl I could literally have written your op word for absolute word - am in the same situation as you down to every detail.
As it turns out it looks like my dd may actually have a slight allergy to formula so if she does have any bottles, which she doesn't really like, it has to be ebm. I've decided in going to try her on cups once she is 5 mths (couple of weeks) and just keep feeding her in private - i won't do it now in public, in front of friends or family as it starts all the comments again..my theory is as they start on solids and drink from a cup etc no one actually has to know they are still being bf'd.

Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 21:10

Thank you for the responses - what I wanted to hear! Im not going back to work until DD is 11 months so not like I don't have time...I just wish family was more supportive of it..I know I will get many comments if I keep ebf . Hard one. May just need to stand my ground. Plus what can I do if she outright refuses formula?! If I do want to give her formula sometimes in eg a cup, do they eventually get used to the taste?

OP posts:

pinkpeoniesx · 19/01/2014 21:13

It's so sad that you aren't getting support to keep on breast feeding. I can never understand why people would encourage you to stop! It's not like they're the ones having to do it and it doesn't affect them in any way.

Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 21:14

Good idea re secret feeding cake! My ideal situation would be ending up just bf DD morning and evening - anyone know if that should work milk supply wise? And then give her water/ebm in a cup during the daytime

OP posts:

Cakeismymaster · 19/01/2014 21:24

Yes that should work - my ds1 (bf) and ds2 (ff) were both down to morning and bedtime feeds only by 10ish months with day times just being drinks from cups (water)
I know at 5 months it seems like they will never get to that but it happened quite quickly once weaning. Supply was fine it just cleverly adjusted

Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 21:27

Thats so reassuring thanks cake - yes I think I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed with the idea of weaning too, just when me and DD had cracked feeding!

OP posts:

Squitten · 19/01/2014 21:43

When I BF last time we did BLW and it work really well with BF because the supply just gradually receded as the food intake gradually increased. We gave a sippy cup with water at mealtimes so they got used to that and then just introduced drinks of cows milk at 12mths. Stopped BF at 13mths.

You have lots of options but don't be bullied!

Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 21:48

Exactly pinkpeonies! Why do ppl have so many opinions on it, I dont get it? Its good for DD, Im so happy I persevered with it (found it v hard in the beginning), I always thought Id give up sooner but I actually really find it so easy now and DD is growing well...I just cant see the reasons to stop others are giving me. Surely its my choice if I don't have eg a whole day away from DD for a little while longer?

OP posts:

pinkpeoniesx · 19/01/2014 22:23

Maybe remind them that for aslong as you're breastfeeding at least it's not up to them to do the night feeds!
Obviously it's different for everyone and there's nothing wrong with formula at all but YOU are doing the best you can do for YOUR baby. She's growing well and you both enjoy it I'll be sad when I stop and it's obviously working well for DS, he's already 24lb and 5 months

Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 22:28

Wow pink 24lbs! Thats great!

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Original poster

islingtongirl · 19/01/2014 22:30

Good point re night feeds! I did say to OH he should be grateful as otherwise I would be making him get up, make up a bottle etc - he doesn't even stir when I get up to feed DD!

OP posts:

pinkpeoniesx · 19/01/2014 22:56

Not so great for my back unfortunately haha.
Ooohh that's funny, one night of getting up for feeds and he'd be begging you to keep breastfeeding!

Alexandra6 · 20/01/2014 10:31

My MIL has made comments about bf - "why don't I swap to ff, easier", "how long are you going to bf for exactly" and when dd was getting reflux/colic "do you not think now you should think about changing over?" - not helpful as bf was tough at first! Anyway it's going well and dd is putting on weight well, but I wasn't sure when you stop and what happens with weaning and your supply etc. I'll brace myself for more comments around that time then! Keep us posted on how you get on and what you decide to do.

tiktok · 20/01/2014 11:48

It's extraordinarily rude when people continually undermine a perfectly healthy, enjoyable, convenient, cheap, parenting choice to breastfeed.

OP, you were bullied into giving formula - to the extent your dd was distressed. And no doubt you were, too.

Why do people think they have a right to express a judgement on breastfeeding beyond whatever-arbitary-age they think is appropriate? To make a mother feel she is doing somethng 'weird' by breastfeeding as well as giving solids.....it's madness. No one disputes that a baby still needs milk after 6 mths. Why would it not be, could it not be, should it not be, human milk?

To then breastfeed in secret, so these impolite and bossy nay-sayers think they have convinced you.....ugh :( :( It won't work, anyway. It will come up in conversation, you will be asked, 'is it better now she's not breastfeeding?' or stupid comments will be passed ('I'm so glad you're not breastfeeding now - it makes them so clingy' or 'she's looking so much healthier now she's on formula') and you will be left feeling mad with yourself that you can't retort.

Honestly, quite apart from anything else, this is a question of manners and courtesy. They should be told to STFU, and your partner should be supporting you not them.

MrsOakenshield · 20/01/2014 11:54

quite apart from anything else, why would anyone want you to take on the additional cost of formula when you can provide milk for free?

I bf'd until DD was 1 year old (stopped on her birthday) and then we went on to cow's milk, so no formula at all.

Sad that not even your DH supports this.

hedgehogy · 20/01/2014 11:57

I aimed to ebf till 6 months. At 6 months I realised as that babies can't drink cow's milk till 12 months we would have to start buying formula. DD is a bottle refuser (would take the odd bottle of expressed milk very early on but then refused them full stop). So I have decided to continue till 12 months. None of my family have been particularly supportive of me bf (apart from my husband), but I have a few friends that have bf till past 12 months which has helped me feel confident in my decision to continue. I have heard negative comments regarding babies being bf past 6 months but I'm just ignoring.

Original poster

islingtongirl · 20/01/2014 12:20

I agree tiktok, your post makes a lot of sense and I am getting annoyed now that people think the way they do. If I told OH i want to cont bfding i am sure he will support me but wont think it a good idea....I actually just want her to take a bottle now, as I do need to leave her for an evening in a few weeks, but she refused her bottle of ebm this morning and cried non stop :( just feel fed up with everything and want to shut me and inside for next 6 months and not see anyone!

OP posts:

tiktok · 20/01/2014 12:28

If your dd is resisting a bottle to the extent she is upset and crying, then how about leaving it for a few weeks? She doesn't need to have a bottle now....she can learn later when she has forgotten its associations with distress.

You could skip bottles and go straight to a cup, anyway.

The evening when you have to leave her - she can have a cup, she will be six months and may be having solids, or if she won't take a cup/bottle, she can have liquid/sloppy solids on a spoon, so you know she will not be hungry when you are away.

It's not worth stressing about, really :)

Original poster

islingtongirl · 20/01/2014 12:37

Thanks tiktok she will be 5.5 months when I need to leave her and not quite on solids, am going to start nearer 6 months. I have a doidy cup and beaker at home, perhaps I try those? Im just worried she wont get a full milk feed from them? Is it possible at that age?

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