Wwyd - bfding to ff and weaning

[islingtongirl]

Just looking for some opinions really to help me to decide on best course of action - OH gets bored of me talking about it! I ebf my almost 5 month old DD. She will v reluctantly take a bottle of ebm but I find it hard to find time to express and tbh I was only doing to cos ppl (mil, oh etc) kept saying how she needs to be able to take a bottle, and yes I guess she does if I ever need to leave her and miss a feed. So...fine she will take a bottle but really doesn't like it much and last time I went out she pretty much waited until I got back to feed rather than take a full feed from bottle...anyway I digress! Everyone seems to think I should be getting her onto formula now, even my mum. OH has been lovely and supportive of bf but even he thinks I should stop feeding her after 6 months...well I cant just stop! And I tried giving her a bottle of formula (having given in to these pressures) for the past two days as a mid morning feed and she flat out refused it, crying, spitting it out etc. It made me think, why am I doing this? For her? No...for me? Not really as I dont really want to give her formula, I mean there is nothing wrong with it, I just know I don't need to as I can bf her and am happy to...Sorry this is so confused...I dont want to bf forever, but I am happy to keep bfding her whilst she starts solids but everyone seems to think this would be weird....I just feel this pressure to stop and stop soon...I feel this whole 6m mark is looming and if I continue after that I will get a lot of comments. Anyone else been in this position? How does bfding fit in with weaning? Ideally I would skip bottles altogether too and get her on a cup or beaker, is this possible or is she too young? Sorry for the ramble I guess I am just confused as to what to do for the best....

Who are the main people that you feel you should have support from?

DM / MIL / OH? If those people, I would personally have a conversation with them about your knowledge on breastmilk; what the evidence based guidelines say (i.e. exclusive bm until 6 months, introduce solids and continue to BF for 2 years and beyond) and how you are honestly feeling - i.e. you've stated you feel unsupported and pressured by them, which isn't how any new mum should feel.

You can explain that you are taking a pragmatic approach to BFing and weaning -

1. it is easier for you to continue to bf currently.
2. it is healthier for DD to receive BM. Putting her on formula doesn't make her unhealthy, but you feel that by receiving BM, it is best for her
3. you feel hurt and confused that the 3 closest people to you, don't support your decisions as a parent. Further asking if they can provide any further evidence to back up that switching to FF will meet point 1 & 2 above. Also offer them information so they understand why you've reached the decision you have reached (refer to WHO guidelines, NHS guidelines etc)
4. you will take each month as it comes in terms on when you plan to stop bf'ing. This may be at 7 months it may be at 17 months, you don't know yet, but for now, this is your decision and you would like their full support.

I hope this gives you a practically angle to address with your family. It is a shame they are not supporting but they only know what they know / experience. It is now up to you to educate them and be comfortable and confident in your decision to continue to BF.

I had 6 months in my head to bf, that changed to 9 months, and then to 12 months. DD is now 29 months and I genuinely had no plans whatsoever to feed for this long. It works for us, and it doesn't matter to me what people think.

Thanks for your post fadbook - its very helpful. Yes I feel I need support from OH (which will then cover PIL) and my parents. I dont want to be made to feel weird by bfding DD past 6 months. I dont want to have to hide away in a room to feed her. I agree its ridiculous considering bfding is good for her! Its other ppls hangups - its like they think it is odd and even would be disgusted to see an older baby being breastfed....there must be something wrong in the messages given out in society for this to be the case musnt there? I also think I find it harder as I feed and look after DD all day every day. I mean OH does a lot on weekends but I am the one who has to see and deal with her upset over the bottle and try again and again...I dont think he would have the patience tbh

islingtongirl, it is highly possible she won't get a full milk feed from a beaker....but that is no big deal, honestly, not at 5.5 mths. When you come back, she will make up for it if she needs to.

At 5.5 mths whoever is caring for her in your absence will have a range of ways of keeping her reasonably happy. You can give her a feed before you go, too.

True - thanks tiktok. Maybe I am overthinking this - I think I am just confused as to what to do and I need to decide and stick with it. Atm I am leaning to cont to bf while weaning, at the same time as offering water and ebm in a cup, possibly formula sometimes (if not spat back out! Today was like the exorcist!)

is your night out local? DD was a bottle (and cup - sorry!) refuser, but she did sleep through quite early on, so nights out had to be local, I would feed her to sleep then skip off out. All my friends knew this (only one to have a bottle-refuser, though all the rest were bfed too) so they understood that I had to be fairly close to home just in case she woke hungry and wouldn't settle for DH - never happened though!

Yes its local - I think that is the best way, I don't usually have to feed her until the early hours but you just know the time she chooses to wake earlier is when I go out!