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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

DS is refusing the bottle but I need to top up feeds, any advice?

37 replies

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 12:34

DS is 9 weeks and to date has been ebf, however we are both struggling. I've put up with the blisters, pain and constant feeding on the basis that DS was putting on enough weight, however he is now slipping down the charts so I feel now is the time to top up with formula to help us both out a bit. Trouble is, he's refused the bottle every time we've tried with only one exception. Any advice on how you managed to get your bottle refuser to feed? I am trying throughout the day with no luck so far

OP posts:

crikeybadger · 13/12/2013 12:45

Have you seen anyone about the pain and blisters and constant feeding? If you got these issues sorted out, you may not need to top up ( and you would be protecting your supply).

How much is he slipping down the centiles?
Is would be good to get some watch you feed, see how your nipples look after a feed and check your baby for tongue tie.

Original poster

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 13:04

Yes sorry should have said, we've seen countless bf experts and lactation consultants, we've also had a late tt snip. At the end of the day, DS physically can't latch on very well. In fact it's an appalling latch.
Dropped from 50th, now nearing 9th.
This is DC2, having successfully bf DC1 for 15 months this is pretty heart breaking and physically knackering. Topping up hasn't been an easy decision to make.
Any advice most appreciated!
Thanks

OP posts:

dinkystinky · 13/12/2013 13:11

What bottle are you using? I've had MAM ones recommended to me as the shape is more like the boob (as more goes into their mouth).
Make the milk really warm.

My sister refused the bottle - my mum got her to take it by dream feeding her (she had to be super sleepy).

crikeybadger · 13/12/2013 13:49

Sorry sun, maybe my post came across as a bit patronising. You're obviously having a hard time of it
How long ago was the tt snipped? Any chance it has regrown?

Some mums find their baby will take a bottle easier if someone else does it.

GreggsOnLegs · 13/12/2013 13:51

How about trying nipple shields? Or a little cup?

CluelessNewbie1 · 13/12/2013 13:59

We tried lots of different bottles. Nuk was the best for us. Advice I was given was:
Try getting someone else to give the bottle when you are not within smelling distance so to speak!
Try offering a bottle when baby isn't too tired or hungry.
Try offering bottle at same time of day to build up a routine
Try offering bottle in different position to breast feeding position ie sitting upright

We tried everything but dd wasn't having any of it until 6 months where she just changed her mind!

Original poster

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 14:08

No problem, I've spent the last 9 weeks talking or worrying about feeding so thought I'd try and make my post as simple as possible.

I am waiting for an appointment to check if the tt has re grown/healed over. Tbh after it was snipped the difference in pain was only very marginal so I'm not expecting much but we will get it checked out. I genuinely feel like we've explored every option to improve the feeding. We are also seeing an osteopath to help with jaw problems but this is a much longer term thing. I am really hoping the toping up is temporary until we see improvements with the osteopath.

I've tried shields but DS can't get his mouth round them, I was really hoping they would work but sadly not.

I'm using tommy t bottles with a size 1 teat, HV suggested trying some cheap bottles with basic teats? Should I try a faster teat?

The one time DS took the bottle it was room temperature, but I'll try making it a lot warmer. I put the bottle in his mouth but he just cries and doesn't attempt to suck or chew on it.

DH has tried but he's not as confident about this sort of thing and isn't keen on trying once DS starts to get upset . I guess as I'm the one in pain I'm a bit more motivated to get this to work, and I know that ultimately DS may grumble a bit before he gets used to it.

I guess a cup really is my last resort but at 9 weeks he seems a long way off mastering a doidy cup.

Gosh that was longer than intended!

All advice is very welcome. Many Thanks

OP posts:

GreggsOnLegs · 13/12/2013 14:14

They gave me a tiny cup to feed ds2 in hospital when he was a few days old and refusing to latch as he was getting very jaundiced.

Sunflower1985 · 13/12/2013 14:29

We use a supplemental nursing system, a tube delivers formula alongside the nipple during a normal feed.

mawbroon · 13/12/2013 14:45

Ask to join the tongue tie babies support group on facebook. You will find all sorts of people on there with experience and knowledge.

geekaMaxima · 13/12/2013 15:45

It could be the formula itself he's objecting to as well as (or instead of) the bottle - it doesn't smell or taste like bm so, coupled with the teat, it's just all too strange!

You could try ebm in a bottle rather than formula. The familiar taste might persuade him to give the teat a try. If it works, you could then see if he'll accept formula, or a mix of ebm and formula.

Fwiw, we found the Medela Calma teat pretty good, though it is expensive. It's longer than most teats so it sits quite far back against the soft palate, and it's a vacuum teat so the milk only flows when he's sucking.

Original poster

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 17:56

Thanks for all your suggestions. I guess it really is a case of keep trying lots of different bottles, times of day etc. with every feed being so painful I really was hoping it would be an easy process.

I have tried expressing and offering that which he refused as well. With the constant feeding and a toddler to entertain I'm finding time to express pretty tough.

OP posts:

neunundneunzigluftballons · 13/12/2013 18:01

I had that issue too OP I was reading and thinking definitely tt so glad to see you had that dealt with. Have you tried nipple shields for the pain they were a godsend for me. It took months and months for the open wounds on both nipples to close without nipple shields I simply could not have continued. I found I was pushing out feeds because they hurt so much and the shields meant I could feed more often which helped weight gain. I was told by an experienced counsellor that some times the only thing that helped with a bad latch was time. As baby's mouth got better latch improved and that was definitely my experience. Then once that happened the baby got better at feeding efficiently too.

Original poster

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 18:17

I've also been told the same, maybe in time it will improve. Unfortunately shields didn't work, DS has a short gag reflex and he simply couldn't cope with them in his mouth, even small ones. He essentially can only nipple feed atm. So frustrating

My concern with waiting until he can feed better (apart from the agony of the actual feeds!) is weight gain, I can't ignore the fact that he's dropping centiles now.

OP posts:

AlmondFrangipani · 13/12/2013 18:32

Hiya,

I feel your pain (literally)! I went through pretty much the same issues as you. My DS is now 20 weeks old and unfortunately we had to give up breast feeding which I was really upset about. But...his latch never really improved despite having his TT snipped and osteopath, lactation consultants and numerous breast feeding groups. But...hopefully you will get there. I started combination feeding to give my nipples a break as I was literally crying with every feed. I then pumped at the times I gave a bottle so not to reduce my supply. However I don't think you would loose it really quickly (took ages for me) if you missed the odd pump.

Anyway...I tried every bottle/teat under the sun. Eventually I settled on MAM bottles as they were the only ones he could really latch on and was happy to take (you can also sterilize them in the microwave individually which is great if you are not using tonnes of bottles). But before that I got him used to a bottle by giving him the mini pre made Aptamil ones (www.mothercare.com/Aptamil-Starter-Pack-6-x-90ml/696861,default,pd.html?CAWELAID=520009060000032500&cm_mmc=Google--Feeding--PLA+-+Feeding-_-PLA+-+Feeding+-+PLA&gclid=CO3BiOHqrbsCFQMUwwodAB0Ahw) . They have 90mls in and a tiny teat. They are also pre-strerilised so you dont need to go through all that faff. I then moved on to normal bottles once he was more confident. They are expensive but might be worth a try?

Also, it is more expensive but my LO seemed to prefer the premixed formula rather than the powered stuff at first. I also agree about feeding at night, they are much more relaxed and maybe with a bit of practice your OH could do that one for you?

Good luck!

stargirl1701 · 13/12/2013 18:51

I used an SNS under different circumstances but it may work for you:

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B000W73YKY/ref=mp_s_a_1_fkmr1_1?qid=1386960656&sr=8-1-fkmr1&pi=AC_SX110_SY165

neunundneunzigluftballons · 13/12/2013 19:09

No OP you definitely cannot ignore the weight gain issue. Will he manage a bottle with the gag reflex issues? TT is a nightmare. I gave up on both dds with issues that would not resolve.

My last suggestion is to email Dr Jack Newman he is a wonderful Canadian paed who is an expert in bf. He is my total guru and he might have some good suggestions. Do whatever you need though, the baby must be fed, rule 1 in the parenting book.

Orchardbeck · 13/12/2013 20:43

Sorry no experience of TT but I've just managed to switch my total bottle refuser on to formula feeds by using MAM bottles - she preferred the teat as it is thinner in design, not 'shiny', so more like a nipple, and also the bottles themselves allow it through the bottom so you don't get a vacuum which can really pee them off - it did mine anyway. The teats fit other bottles (eg Avent Classic) which I tried for a little while (as the Mam bottles can be a bit tricky until you get used to them) but she started only taking a few oz because she got mad with the vacuum, too different from the breast.

The other one that is similar in action is the Playtex Nurser with drop in liners - my baby liked the latex version of the teat it came with and it is more like breastfeeding as the bag collapses so again no vacuum.

Original poster

suntodayplease · 13/12/2013 21:37

Thanks Orchard, can I ask how long it took - how many attempts before your DD took the bottle. After another failed attempt tonight I'm feeling totally flat about the whole process. And another night of painful feeds ahead to look forward to!

Where did you buy the MAM bottles? There is a large boots and Mothercare nearby so was going to head there tomorrow.

Thanks for all your responses

OP posts:

AlmondFrangipani · 13/12/2013 22:18

Fx the MAM bottles help. I got mine from Amazon as they were cheaper. They do a starter set or you could just buy a couple to see how you get on with them.

dinkystinky · 13/12/2013 22:19

Boots sell MAM

dinkystinky · 13/12/2013 22:20

Boots sell MAM

lilacjellybean · 13/12/2013 22:45

Have you tried minijumi bottles? They're designed to be boob like!

OhPuddleducks · 14/12/2013 06:26

My DS stopped latching on after his TT was snipped so I was expressing every three hours day and night and bottle feeding (and I have a 2 yo too so I know how tired, upset and frustrated you must be). We used a Medela bottle with a Calma teat and he took to it well. The baby has to actively suck like on the breast to get anything so use their muscles in the same way. We used Tommee Tippee in the beginning too and it was too fast for him - made him really gassy. DS is back on the boob full time now and I'm sure the Medela bottles made it easier to interchange so might help if mix feeding is your long term plan.

It's the pits when bf is a struggle. I fed my first for 15 months too and was so upset when this time it didn't look like it was working. As his mouth gets bigger perhaps he'll be able to get a deeper latch. I know 3 months was a watershed moment for some of my friends - perhaps he just needs to get a bit older and bigger ( but appreciate that doesn't help in the here and now).

MigGril · 14/12/2013 07:06

I'd try a SNS as a finger feeder, the problem is some TT babies can also find bottle feeding hard. I did know some one who was given special teats by the hospital as her DD couldn't latch onto a bottle either. But a SNS used as a finger feeder may allow you to get more milk in. You can use them with either formula or breastmilk.

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