DS is refusing the bottle but I need to top up feeds, any advice?

[suntodayplease]

DS is 9 weeks and to date has been ebf, however we are both struggling. I've put up with the blisters, pain and constant feeding on the basis that DS was putting on enough weight, however he is now slipping down the charts so I feel now is the time to top up with formula to help us both out a bit. Trouble is, he's refused the bottle every time we've tried with only one exception. Any advice on how you managed to get your bottle refuser to feed? I am trying throughout the day with no luck so far

That sounds exhausting and painful, Suntodayplease. How long ago was your baby's tie snipped? Sometimes often having a tie cut is sold as the cure whereas it's really just the beginning of a solution. After it's been cut, whether you choose to BF or FF, your baby needs to relearn how to feed, which takes time and you should have been offered support in teaching your baby this.

My advice would be to choose one teat (either your breast, or a specific bottle) and stick with it so he can learn how to latch again. If you feel top-ups are reassuring or needed, will you consider cup feeding? It doesn't matter how little he is, they use cups in hospitals for newborns and it works amazingly, try looking at videos on Youtube. This will get milk into your baby without causing any nipple confusion. My concern is that trying lots of different teats (which is the usual approach to a bottle refuser) will make it harder for your baby to relearn to feed.

The only bottles we could get DS2 to take were mam. They sold them in boots and mothercare. The teats are alot softer than avent or tommee tippee. We also used a supplemental nursing system.

Hi,

I saw your post title and though 'ha! that rings a bell". Our DD is meant to get top up feeds and also refusing the bottle- we had a late posterior tie and she slipped down centiles. She's now 11weeks. She used to take a bottle, and for a while I was even worried she might develop flow preference, but I spent so long trying to persuade her breast is best she wouldn't take a bottle anymore.

I got an SNS, and it is good- but leaks something rotten. There's stuff on the internet about making your own, which will probably be cheaper and not leak.

have you got a syringe- for those days when he just will not take the bottle you can at least force it in.

Our DD ended up in hospital this last week, due to weight loss- they gave her her top ups down a tube for a few days to teach her to be full which actually really helped us, so don't despair, if it gets too bad there are things they can do.

It's still very sporadic when she'll take a bottle. Things we've done that I think may be advice to pass on:

-warming the milk definitely seems to help
-i'd say she prefers EBM. I express after every feed to keep supply up. I've got a double pump and a hands free pumping bra. If your going to do any expressing I can't recommend the hands free bra more. You can actually do stuff whilst you pump- like answer posts on MN...
-we're using the little yellow teats you get in hospital for the SMA bottles
-dipping the end of the teat in the milk also seems to help
-Finally, and my mum discovered this by accident after misunderstanding the instructions about heating the milk- dipping the teat in hot water to warm it seemed to help convince DD she was getting a nice warm boobie.

Bottle wise- we tried a breastflow and weren't too impressed. The milk all pools in the top and gets airlocked. Got a medela calma to try soon too as it's meant to be like breastfeeding, but as it's another skill to learn think we'll let her put on some more weight first.

Hang in there - it will get better. Feel free to PM if you want a chat.

Sorry I hadn't seen your question. I was going the whole try every bottle/teat going thin which took a bit longer and ironically the MAM one was one of the last I tried (I didn't initially like the look of them which is stupid as I love them now and they are really sturdy).

Once I stuck with one it was a case of practicing around twice.a day, letting her play around with it with a small amount of breast milk (although I later found that she prefers formula out of a bottle and breast milk from the breast...duh! The best place I got bottles from was Amazon, more choice and cheaper.

The other thing I found was she won't really concentrate if other people (especially me) are talking when she is drinking her milk, she likes it hot, she prefers to focus on something like a light, or a picture (failing that the tv) when she is drinking and if she is being a real pain walking around bobbing her up and down a little helps her focus on latching on, weirdly!

The Mam bottles have taken a lot of getting used to as they aren't quite as convenient as others but if you have a microwave handy they aren't bad at all, I make them up in advance, fridge, then stick them in the microwave as this was another problem when practicing - getting timing right and when you are out of practice making up bottles it is difficult to judge when you will need them when making them fresh. The other thing I have found is that I can always cool them down under a cold tap when out and about, but heating them is tricky without a microwave so I take a flask of hot water and make them up fresh and stick them under a tap. Would love to hear anyone else's tips though.

I think it really does help if it is not you giving the feed (to start with) so if DH won't do it then have you got your mum or a trusted friend nearby who can help you out? My mum did DD1's first ff as she wouldn't take it from me. Also I was very upset & stressed at the time (as you and your DH might understandably be) which I think DD1 really picked up on. DM was very calm and confident which I think just calmed DD1 down. After she had taken a bottle from DM and DH a couple of times I just felt so much better about it, I was calmer. DD1 was a bit more used to the bottle and so I was able to take over - and we never looked back!

Also forgot to mention- when they had the tube in DD we discovered she was a windy baby. Never occured to us before since she wsa bf and didn't have any windy symtoms apart from refusing a bottle. She took bottles better after being given a good wind.

Thank you all for taking time to respond. After several attempts this weekend we've finally managed to get 2oz into DS using a MAM bottle. We have the added complication of a very snotty baby who isn't sleeping unless up right on me. DS hasn't fed properly all weekend from me either as I think he's struggling to feed with a blocked nose. I'm hoping that when he's over the cold that we might have better success with the bottle. I've decided to stop trying different brands/ teats etc and just stick with the mam bottle. DH did the successful feed so it's probably a good idea that he is the one from now on, not me. means I actually get a break for a little while
I've looked at the SNS online, it's the first time I've come across them. I'm hoping we can master the bottle, although it's good to know there is other options to explore.
Interesting to hear about the wind, because his latch is so appalling he takes wind in a lot even when bf, we've tried gripe water with some success but it's fiddly to get it in.

I'm hoping our appointment to review the tt comes through this week, in the meantime we'll keep on trying with the bottle. Thanks again for the advice and suggestions, all really appreciated.

That's great news about the successful bottle feed. Now you know he can do it hopefully you can all relax which will help as I'm sure they pick up on parents feeling tense.

I'm currently battling a similar issue with my ds (11 weeks) and he won't take a bottle. Been using tt closer to nature with size 1 teat. We tried size 2 and he much preferred it so might be worth a try. He drank 3oz. Also people say for you not to give the bottle but I tried after dh gave up and he smiled and drank. Maybe he associated me with food. Also worth a try. It's very hit and miss though so hopefully soon he will take it so I can leave him with granny

We are still really struggling with getting DS to take the bottle since my last post he's refused every time. I can only assume that. He can't be that hungry otherwise he would take it? DH is trying, always warmed milk etc so we're trying to be consistent.
For those that successfully got a bottle refuser to accept the bottle how long did it take? We are trying twice a day and have been for the last couple of weeks. It's really distressing to see him get worked up and cry. I really don't want to have to go cold turkey on bf but I'm wondering if this is my only option. I had really hoped that mix feeding would be the best way forward for us both.

Sorry you're still struggling
A drop of two centiles is usually within normal limits - are the HCPs concerned? Have they given you any suggestions?

Given that he won't take a bottle yet, it might not be the right time to go cold turkey.....you would also risk getting mastitis too.

I know you feel like you've talked this over with everyone and his wife, but perhaps a call to one of the helplines would reassure you?