when is the ideal time to stop bf?

[pinkr]

I know guidelines say 2years but safe to say that doesn't appeal to me. I've ebf dd for 14 Weeks...horrendous at the start but I'd say we've got the hang now! In my mind I always had six months as my goal but as we get closer I wonder if its the right time or not. I'm not returning to work until August, won't express for various reasons, would like to be able to return to fitness classes without worrying about dd getting hungry, have no strong feelings about formula but not keen to mix feed at the moment, am worried about feeding longer and still doing nights as a lot of posts on here seem to be people who are unable to stop their little ones asking for milk in the night, love the closeness, would like dh to be able to look after her, hate having to not wear my favourite dresses, love the weight loss and the fact i'm lighter than before baby.
What would you/ what did you do?

If you can make it to a year you can avoid bottles and sterilising all together.

It honestly gets easier the more time goes on and they will often feed less when food is on offer at six months too.

Oh and worried about when teeth come, love the health benefits for dd, glad not to faff with bottles etc.
I'm really stuck on this

I'm not finding it difficult but I don't want to get trapped into it either...is it easier to stop when they are younger and less aware for example?

It's a really personal thing but for me it was just over a year for both DC. As the previous poster mentioned, it means you can avoid bottles altogether - we went straight to a beaker of cow's milk. By the time I stopped they were down to just one BF at bedtime, plus 1 or 2 beakers of cows milk during the day.

personally i wanted to feed until at least a year so that I didn't have to pay for formula and stuff.

as it happened I fed for much longer because it just happened like that.... so i'd say, go with the flow. the best time to stop is when you want to stop :)

When you're finished.

3 1/2 years was my limit.. I was just done.

I'm interested too. Still feeding DD at 7 months. Intended to stop at 6months but it's just so easy and no hassle that I've kept going. My DH is starting to make a few comments and as most of my family and friends stopped at 6 months or before I'm expecting lots if 'when are you stopping?' soon.

I'm just worried about DD needing to feed to go to sleep or settle in the night as would occasionally like the odd worry free night out. Admittedly I still haven't tried to give her a bottle though and she may be fine.

Watching this thread with interest.....

Well done. 14 weeks of exclusive breastfeeding is hard. It will get easier at the six month mark when your baby can eat other things.

I think that the ideal time to stop breastfeeding is a very individual decision. There is no right or wrong answer. Some people formula feed from birth and other people breastfeed up to school age. Plenty of people mix feed. Lots of people with older babies use formula while at nursery and breastfeed at home.

Many of the issues you mention only apply to young babies. Once your child hits six months then another care can give your child solid food or a drink if she is hungry. A 14 week old baby feeds non stop, but once a child is taking solid food then many babies are happy with far fewer feeds.

I guess I was asking of you just knew when to stop. Also whether anyone wished they'd stopped sooner etc. I love that I can provide this and see her thriving but I also want to be practical etc and not want her to be entirely dependent on me etc. are your dc more clingy for example if you've always been there for feeding?

Yeah, past 6 months it's waaaay easier - they're eating solid food as well so can be given a snack if they're hungry when you're away from them, and they feed a lot less frequently and more efficiently. From what I've heard, I don't think BF babies are massively more likely to be still waking up for feeds/general interaction (have just had a discussion elsewhere about the myth of "FF babies sleep/BF babies don't" - seems to be more up to the personality of baby/parent than feeding choice). And no faff with bottles, sterilizing, making up feeds, etc.

I fed DS1 til 2.5, still feeding DS2 at a year. I think I had a year as a "seems reasonable to go til then/can avoid the whole bottles malarkey" with DS1, then didn't see any reason to stop, especially once he a)went down to just feeding morning and bedtime so didn't have to think about feeding/expressing during the day or being woken up at night and b)proved amenable to missing the odd bedtime feed, or even more than that - I remember going away for work for five days when he was about 2 and just started feeding again when I got back.

Nope, neither of mine are particularly clingy - both went to nursery when I went back to work and settled in very quickly, happy to be looked after by daddy/other favourite grownups.

"are your dc more clingy for example if you've always been there for feeding?2

Nearly all small children can be clingy regardless of how they are fed. In fact being clingy is healthy in a small child.

Oh, and as for "when I knew when to stop", with DS1 it was a mixture of him getting less interested (was down to just a bedtime feed and it was getting shorter and shorter) and me being pregnant again and feeling that I was ready to stop too. Very very easy weaning - just suggested one evening that he was a big boy and had drunk all the milk and he never asked for it again!

I wanted to feed for at least 3 months, and then when I got to 3 months wanted to make it to 6. I saw no good reason to stop at 6 and didn't like the idea of formula as bf was going well, so kept going. Went back to work at 10 months, didn't express or use formula, baby just has food and water when I'm not there, with her dad or with nursery. I went to fitness classes/out running/ etc from very early, she was always fine for an hour or two. From around 8 months I would be out for longer periods of time, the whole day to see a friend or something. From 10 months I worked night shifts and I go away overnight occasionally and she is also fine. I am not lighter than pre-baby but I feel in good shape, am pleased at all the benefits bf has for my own health (lowered cancer risks etc) and was in all my own clothes from around 7 months. I wore normal bras and dresses from 10 months too. I stopped feeding in the day at that age.

14 months now.

Sleep is a bit shit but it's not breastfeeding's fault. I only feed once overnight and she's not really that interested. So babies do vary with this. I think clinginess (horrible word really) is a personality trait and not related to feeding.

Breastfeeding is so so good when they are ill. My little one was recently quite ill and refused all food and water. As I was still breastfeeding we didn't have to go to hospital, we could manage it at home.

I'd love to get to 2 years. I see 2 years as ideal. I do struggle with tiredness and I will probably want to stop then. If I got pregnant and it was very painful I might stop. I see 2 as ideal, but I'm pleased with myself for doing a year. Maybe 2 years seems a bit crazy to you now (it would have to me when I was pregnant) - I think a wait and see policy is probably best! I don't think you can get trapped into it. I think it's more often, you can never quite find the right time to stop...

I stopped very easily at 13months. By then dd was just feeding first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I just offered her a beaker of cows milk at those times instead and she was fine with it. I think it helped that I had stopped feeding to sleep a few months earlier though.

I think it is mostly to do with how much your baby likes feeding. DD was really not bothered and once I stopped offering she never asked. Within a week it was like I had never bfed her. At about 18months she started noticing other babies feeding but even then did not seem to realise it was something she had once done.

We are still going strong at ( nearly) 8 months. Before having dd I always imagined stopping around 6 months, then I started to read all the posts on here and it's really encouraged me to keep going. I would have never known about who guidelines or all the other benefits breastfeeding has.

My dd is currently not well with cough/cold and has gone off all solids. She is taking great comfort in feeding/snoozing and at times like this I can't imagine how I would be soothing her without breastfeeding.

Like others have said, people keep asking if I'm 'still' feeding her myself. I am proud to still be breastfeeding and I hope to continue until 2 years if possible

Do it for however long you both feel comfortable, simple really.

Ps first child self weaned around 16 months. Currently feeding my second child who is 8 months.

For me, the first 3 months were hell - hour long feed every 2 hours. Then the length of feeds decreased and i suddenly realised it was easy. At just over 6 months, when ds was properly weaning and we had a decent routine in place, i started really feeling pleased I'd managed to get that far. At 9 months we night weaned, at 10 months dropped to 2 feeds a day, 20 minutes each. We're still going at 12 1/2 months and i see no point stopping.

Time feeds for just before you leave, find a class after bedtime, or start running or swimming, which has some flexibility

Still feeding ds at 19 months: 2-3 times a day and no pan to stop yet. In tact looking forward to taking the side off his cot so he can toddle through for his morning bf because i'm too lazy to want to get out of bed

Rarely had sleep problems and those we've had generally aren't helped by bm. Also very useful when he's ill and not really eating. Teething hadn't been much of a problem, we've had the occasional bite but he prefers to bite my leg.

So if its working for both of you there's no need to stop. Especially once lo can take a drink from a sippy cup and eat a snack.

And why aren't you getting out to exercise now? If you feel too tire that's fine, but your dp should be able to manage for an hour or so by 14 Weeks. From about 2 Weeks dh used to take ds out for a walk for an hour most evenings (it was summer) so I could get some space, have a cup of tea and a bath in peace. If I've wanted to go running I could have.

The classes I like are only in evenings and pretty close to bedtime...I feed just before sleep or she's impossible to get down...she goes down awake but full. Dh doesn't have much success settling her if she then stirs, we've tried. I don't feed her but can get her over to sleep but I'd miss the class if she didn't go straight down and I'd hate to go out to relax and come home to a meltdown. I don't run! Getting plenty of exercise with the pram but just miss the classes.

Stop when you both feel ready.