How did you night wean your under-2 year old? How hideous was it?

[pickledlily]

My DD is 18 months and still having 2 feeds (BFs) a night. She has rarely slept for more than 4 hours straight (silent reflux, glue ear all contributing) and wakes at least twice a night and will scream blue murder if she doesn't get 2 feeds. She was down to 1 feed a night (still waking 3 or 4 times) but that seems to have gone out of the window recently.

I think I've had enough. I say 'think', because up until now it's been easier to just feed her and she goes back to sleep very quickly. But the sleep deprivation is getting to me. She's going to scream all night if I refuse her, isn't she?

How did you night wean? Was it hideous?

I am doing a lot of cross referencing threads today! but someone else just mentioned just night weaning from BF here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/a1879112-best-way-to-give-up-BFing#42188411

maybe they can help.

I am currently mid night weaning from bottle, 11mo DD has over the course of a few months gone from almost two full feeds a night to virtually nothing but a few slurps of water..... and still she wakes. I hope it's a different story for you!

Thanks rootypig, I'll take a look. Well done for getting down to water, even if she is still waking. One day, eventually, we will have to prise them out of their beds...

To be honest the feeding/ waking/ ability to settle are all connected...

As your still bf I would firstly think about the feeding aspect.

Your dd needs to learn to settle without a feed etc...

Do you have a dp/dh that could take over at night?

The link to the other thread has some good & realistic advice.

The other thread unfortunately doesn't say how she managed to get him to self settle - it must be the holy grail of sleep deprived parents :).

DD settles without a feed (cuddled to drowsiness/sleep), just not for the 2 times during the night (sometime between 9.30-12 and 1.30-4am). We've tried sending DH in but she screamed for an hour solid before I caved in as none of us were sleeping. I've been trying gradual retreat since she was 6mo, but it's so blinking gradual the best we've achieved is putting her down very drowsy, which only works at nap and bedtime. I have managed to drop the last bath/bedtime feed however.

She normally has a BF first thing, then she's desparate for a feed by 5pm if it's a nursery day, or will feed a couple of times during the day if at home.

I think some of the night feeding is comfort - she wakes coughing/choking

Oh yes, sorry pickled, I mean you could ask that OP.

DD self settles too, for naps and to go to sleep - except in the dead of night. Grr.

I night weaned a boob monster at 13 months. Also a reflux sufferer.

I upped his milk intake during the day 2 weeks before night weanin. Then chose a friday night to start. When DS woke I offered water and paced the room holding him up against my shoulder not in a feeding position.

To my astonishment it worked no problem from day 1! It helped that at the time we weren't cosleeping (we are now unfortunately but the night feeding habit was broken before that. )

Hasnt stopped DS waking in the night and needing cuddles or water but did reduce the night wakings.

Are you willing/able to stop breast feeding?

Can you leave her a cup of water and let her know that if she wakes in the night she has water, send your DH in the first few times.

Do you ever go away for the night - might sound a bit drastic but then your DD would learn that 'mummy is not always on tap'.

Hasnt stopped DS waking in the night and needing cuddles or water but did reduce the night wakings.

nooooooooooo

Ive done nights away before DS was night weaned. He d cry for me, DH had to show him the whole flat to show I wasn't hiding then he'd accept water and eventually go back to sleep (it took a couple of hours). As soon as I was back he wanted milk again...

He needed to learn no milk at night even with mummy there!

As I said we did it at 13 months. At 23 months we were on holiday and DS ate very little. I BF him loads more than usual, including during the night, but when home and eating properly he gave up night feeding no protest.

Lol. Sorry rooty. But it did drop from 4-8 wakings to 1 which is FAB!

I am slightly mollified. DH was out last night which meant I did all the night wakings, actually helped because I decided I was going to stick to my plan. So we had 11.30, when she drank a fair bit of water from her bottle, then a few more times before 1am, I just settled her with the blanket, then she slept to 6.30 when I gave her a wee drop of milk and she went two hours more.

Not horrendous, I am pleased that she didn't have milk from about 6.30 - 6.30, but she is still waking! I hope she gets the message soon :(

I followed this:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/a1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

although I feed DS before 11pm if we wakes (rarely) and after 5am (every morning - but usually goes back to sleep).

We went from 2/4 wakings a night, max 2hr between each waking, to regularly 6-9 hrs straight, with one waking, usually between 3-5am.

I cannot believe how quickly he adapted, and how 'easy' it was. If I'd known it would be so quick, I'd have done it MONTHS ago!! I put it off for months as I was so certain it would be a complete failure. Instead, the difference it has made is amazing. I am half way to feeling normally again. The other night I slept for 7 hours straight!!!!!!!!

good luck

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/a1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

Clicky link

Fab thread, thanks flipflops

Just place marking (please) as need to look at doing this too.

DH had to show him the whole flat to show I wasn't hiding They are smart, these little ones. But very useful to hear your experiences with a refluxer. I might try the upright cuddle although she has the strength of a cage fighter when it comes to squirming in my arms. I have considered disappearing for a weekend, but I think DD would also just want milk feeds again once I was back.

Ah, the "what worked for us" thread. I've read and tried this several times. Total fail here unfortunately. She won't let go. I've been trying for a year now .

I'm not convinced that dropping night feeds will stop the night wakings - depends why they are waking I suppose. I think they just get lonely! But I hope your DS gets the message soon rootypig.

Can I ask a ridiculously stupid question?

Does night weaning just mean you don't feed in the night?
They still wake up and you still have to deal with them?

Dd wakes once a night roughly 4/7 nights, has a feed then goes back to sleep. Is this normal? She's 16mo. Am I hoping for too much for a full night? Shes bf if that makes a dofference and I'm not planning on stopping just for this.

Hey TIMN. Night weaning does mean not feeding them. In an ideal world, when you stop night feeds, you are training them out of associating feeding with sleep, and ending their reliance on it. The theory is that when they wake in the night (as all children do) they will naturally fall back to sleep without a fuss.

As I say, theory

I think the main trap to avoid is when you stop feeding them, to give them another sleep association in its place eg rocking, shushing, picking them up. You need to get them to fall asleep with as little intervention as possible, basically.