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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

DP moaning that I'm over feeding

31 replies

Bunnychan · 05/10/2013 22:38

Help

I have an 18 week old baby who is a little chubba and likes her milk. She is bf on demand and I literally follow her lead. She's content and sleeps well- usually between 9-12 hours straight at night.

Lately, DP has been making snide remarks about her weight and interfering with feeding on demand. He has been with me throughout my breastfeeding journey and has heard all the same advice & info I have, so he is well informed and does understand. Yet, he thinks everytime she cries I feed her (I don't but I know her hungry so

OP posts:
HandragsAndGladbags · 05/10/2013 22:40

If she overfed at her age she would be sick. Ignore him.

hettienne · 05/10/2013 22:40

You're meant to feed them everytime they cry aren't you Grin

Maybe get him to call the National Breastfeeding Helpline so an expert can put his mind at rest?

ilovepowerhoop · 05/10/2013 22:41

as far as I know you cant overfeed a breastfed baby

noblegiraffe · 05/10/2013 22:42

Point out if you fed her less she would wake hungry in the night. Is that what he wants?

Babies are supposed to be chubby. Fat thighs and rolls at the wrists. It pads them for when they fall over.

ilovepowerhoop · 05/10/2013 22:42

nct says its impossible to overfeed a bf baby

Original poster
Bunnychan · 05/10/2013 22:44

Sorry finger slipped.
I know when she's hungry or not. He keeps moaning that she's getting fat/growing to quickly and that she's going to be bullied when she's older.
I suppose because I feed her, I take it all very personally but I'm starting to feel really guilty about her size and almost apologetic about feeding her. When it's just me & her, I love bfing her and the bond it's given us. When we're in front of DP, I'm starting to feel on edge. I don't why I'm posting this but I'm just wondering if anyone else has been through it I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bunnychan · 05/10/2013 22:45

Wow! Those responses were fast!

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bundaberg · 05/10/2013 22:45

you can't overfeed a breastfed baby!
i offered mine the breast every time they cried.. if they didn't want it they soon let me know lol

ds2 was particularly chubby, his cheeks were immense :-D skinny as a rake now at 5

Likesshinythings · 05/10/2013 22:46

If she wasn't hungry she wouldn't feed, simple as that. And babies are generally very good at knowing whether they are hungry or not.

ModeratelyObvious · 05/10/2013 22:47

She is 18 weeks old and he thinks about her being bullied???

She is sleeping 9-12 hours a night. That's a big long time without food (lucky you!), lots of babies would still be having their "extra" in night feeds.

ViviDeBeauvoir · 05/10/2013 22:49

He's being ridiculous.
You can't over feed a BF baby. It sounds like you're doing a great job as your DD is thriving. Carry on doing as you're doing.

Your DP might want to look into why he feels like this as it sounds like he might have some issues around food/eating/weight.

He wants to nip that in the bud before your DD gets older.

ilovepowerhoop · 05/10/2013 22:50

she is obviously stocking up during the day so she can have a nice long sleep overnight. I'd tell him to back off tbh.

MoominMammasHandbag · 05/10/2013 22:54

I breastfed all four of mine. Two of them were proper chubs; fat bracelets, chin rolls, the lot. We called the the baby seals. They were particularly contented babies who grew into slim little girls. Today they are slim, healthy teenagers.

mineofuselessinformation · 05/10/2013 22:55

You could always ask him if he'd like you to feed her less so she wakes at night......

ModeratelyObvious · 05/10/2013 22:57

Has she stayed in the same centile, roughly, since birth?

VikingLady · 05/10/2013 22:58

For a bf baby there may be many problems in life (hungry, cold, need comfort, pain/wind etc) but only one solution - a feed! That is why you are pre-programmed to offer the boob whenever she cries.

Oh, and chubby babies tend to thin out as they get older.

Does DH have problems with weight/diet, or is it more about jealousy of boob "ownership" or access, especially if they are too sore for him to touch? Or maybe it is abut the bond that he doesn't share. DH has finally admitted to that after 18m.

You're doing the right thing, btw!

AnythingNotEverything · 05/10/2013 22:59

Is he a man child?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/10/2013 23:00

My boys were so chubby at that age, DS2 especially.

DS1 is now five and I can hardly find trousers with a small enough waist but still enough length in the legs.
DS2 is only two and is a chunkier build, but he has hardly any baby fat left on him.

You are doing the right thing, your DP is being daft.

rootypig · 05/10/2013 23:04

OP does your DP have weight issues, or has he had them, or has he been bullied? If so, he needs to address them before they affect the parenting of his children.

If not, he has some really questionable and unpleasant attitudes.

Either way, you need to talk to him. If you are loving feeding your baby you may want to continue for some time - months, if not years. If you already feel on edge when he is around, this is not going to end well.

defineme · 05/10/2013 23:09

He's being a dick...I really hope he has issues because I'd be telling him to piss off if he dared say something so ridiculous to me.

If you're being more understanding then show him relevant info on breast feeding and then please say directly that any comments have to end becasue it's disrespectful to you and his dd.

Original poster
Bunnychan · 05/10/2013 23:11

She's following the 91st percentile for weight & length. She's a little over 4 months & the same length as my friends 6 month old. Sometimes I think it's a jealousy issue over the bond and that he feels left out but then I do try & include him in other ways. It doesn't help that the only other babies he has know is his niece & nephew who were formula fed. I don't know, I feel like he disapproves of my more
Baby centred approach full stop.

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ModeratelyObvious · 05/10/2013 23:14

Right, so her weight and height are in good proportion and haven't really changed yhroughout her life so far.

Is he aware of that? If she started dropping centiles (and that's only a few oz difference) your health visitor would probably want you to keep an eye on it.

Original poster
Bunnychan · 05/10/2013 23:20

I think he may have issues over bullies at school as I have heard random comments but he doesn't admit to it. His mom & one sister are very overweight so it could also stem from that.
I guess that I get a lot of comments from enough people, let alone the one person I thought was on side. Honestly, everyone wants to comment on how chubby she is and although they mean no harm- I'm hearing that much I'm becoming sensitive to it. I look at her and I see a chubby baby that is also incredibly long for her age but then I wonder if I'm not seeing a problem that everyone else is

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Sunnysummer · 05/10/2013 23:25

We have a very chunky little man - 10th percentile height, 75th weight! - and our paediatrician (who we see for totally other issues), is very happy with how he's doing. My brothers, one of my sisters and I were all incredibly fat sumo babies, but got skinny as soon as we started walking and stayed that way. What were your and DH's builds like as babies?

Under feeding a baby at this stage will just lead to a metabolism that is trained to store every piece of energy... Much worse than a bit of puppy fat that will drop off once your little girl is mobile.

HuglessDouglas · 05/10/2013 23:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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