Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

can't seem to breast feed

63 replies

bamboozleslover · 26/06/2006 11:30

i realy want to breastfeed my 2 day old ds but he won't take to it. he has a few sucks and then gets disinterested and comes off. what can i do?

OP posts:
yoyo · 26/06/2006 18:53

Sorry MD. I gave her formula. My days were one long feeding ritual between expressing, breastfeeding and formula top-ups. I have a diary somewhere and I read like a mad woman! I just cut down gradually on the formula until she no longer had any and she never had formula without having breast, then expressed first. The point I was trying to make is that despite seeing the professionals day after day I still couldn't do it. When CF said "you have tried your best" I took no comfort from her words.

moondog · 26/06/2006 18:56

CF???
Well you got back to f/t b/feeding though.
That is bloody hard work.

yoyo · 26/06/2006 18:59

CF = Chloe Fischer author of "Bestfeeding" I think it was called. She works miracles for many but, sadly, not me.

sugarfree · 26/06/2006 19:11

The whole thing from conception to teenagers would be a darn sight easier without bloody hormones MD!

I must have read everything going about breast feeding in my time,particularly before Ds3 was born,because I knew I was in the last chance saloon then,but nothing beats a genuinely interested expert sitting with you for as long as it takes.

moondog · 26/06/2006 21:03

Yes I agree/
Sorry,wasn't thinking re CF.

Someone on MN who had had a miserable time with b/feeding said that her mother (a dairy farmer) had said
'Look.Some cows are good milkers and some aren't. You obviously aren't.'
Lol but there must be some truth in that for a tiny minority surely??

muma3 · 26/06/2006 21:17

i did half my training as a breast feeding councillor and have a few tips .

make sure you are comfortable when starting to feed . if your not relaxed and comfortable then you wont get "let down" reflex .

try different positions as suggested that could make all the difference.

try not to worry just yet as your ds could just be tired from birth . my dd3 didnt really start feeding regulary til day 3 when my milk came in .

keep feeding if and when you can to stimulate your milk production , avoiding letting it dry up . the more you feed the more you produce

dont give bottles if possible as your baby may get "nipple confusion" and not know what is being put in his mouth . bottle feeding is easier for babies and you dont want him getting used to easy feeding if you are intending to breast feed.

make sure his bottom lip is sticking right out when latching him on to your nipple . if he isnt postioned correctly he wont get much milk and he and YOU will get frustrated .

relax relax relax - get a drink , light some candles have a bath and lay him /hold him next to your skin and have a cuddle for a minute or 2 to let him smell you first then gently latch him on .

HTH

moondog · 26/06/2006 21:24

Muma3,what happened to the other half of your training???

muma3 · 27/06/2006 11:48

oh lol i fell pregnant with dd3

Original poster
bamboozleslover · 27/06/2006 19:02

hi sorry i have been reading your posts, just been a little busy to reply. midwife was worried cos he has gone jaundiced and still wouldn't take to the breast properly - that's why i am topping up with formula and expressing as well. the bath together has helped so that's what i do when i want to bf him myself and also so did the football hold.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 27/06/2006 19:13

moondog, from what I know, there's certainly a wide range in supply. Some women seem to have so much, even with their first child, that they are forever spraying milk across the room etc. But nearly every woman can produce enough milk for at least one child. The few who absolutely can't generally (from what I know) have breast abnormalities, most commonly tubular breasts.

cathie1 · 27/06/2006 19:16

My ds had serious jaundice for the 1st week after his birth and was too zonked out to breast feed. He also spent time in Special Care so breast feeding was not always easy. However, I kept trying him on the breast at every feed (with little success), & then would give him a mixture of expressed milk & formula. It was hell at the time and I was convinced breastfeeding would be impossible. But as soon as we were home (& I was more relaxed)ds latched straight on and has never looked back. I have now been breastfeeding him for 8 months and he is a great eater! It took me a good 5-6 weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding. Different positions worked for me, especially the underarm approach. Local midwife unit were also very helpful and had lots of advice. It does get easier, I promise. But you know what, if it gets too hard, think of your own sanity! You being stressed out about feeding will not do your child any favours. You shouldn't have to feel guilty if you choose to bottle feed if you know it works best for you.

hewlettsdaughter · 27/06/2006 19:16

Good luck bamboozleslover. I remember my ds was like this when he was born. The two of us figured things out eventually - but I would advise getting expert help if you can, even if it's just on the end of a phone.

welshmum · 27/06/2006 19:19

Hello again bamboozle, how's your ds doing now? is he a bit more interested? did you get some good advice for someone?

LIZS · 27/06/2006 20:13

ds was sleepy and a reluctanct feeder for several days after birth and his jaundice took almost 2 weeks to clear. It can be very frustrating and the "professionals" often give mixed advice but one mw encouraged me to express colostrum so he got that in a cup ahead of any formula and then when the milk came in he still would n't latch on so another suggested we use nipple shields. I know this isn't ideal from the pov of milk supply stimulation but it did enable me to leave hospital after 4 days exclusively b'feeding him and a few days later , after the faff of sterilising them got the better of me one night, I got him latched on directly and he soon was able to do so every feed.

good luck and well done for persevering thus far.

moondog · 27/06/2006 20:15

Hope it's going better bamboozle.

Interesting NQC. I have heard of tubular bells but never breasts lol.

I never saw a drop of milk coming out of me once in 31/2 years of b/feeding but managed it fine so must be a fair to middling milker.

helenainsworth · 27/06/2006 20:59

Well done for making such an effort bamboozleslover to breastfeed. It is a very difficult thing to do but so worthwhile if you possibly can manage it. All the advice here is fantastic. No shame in that as it is such a brand new skill to learn - for both of you. I struggled with my DD (now 11 months) but am still feeding her and am so glad i persevered.

yoyo · 27/06/2006 21:27

Well done Bamboozleslover for keeping trying. As you will see from my earlier posts it is possible to stop mixed feeding and move to fully BF but it does test your sanity a fair bit!
I found the rugby hold the best position on one side but not the other. I also needed a fair few cushions stuffed down by my side to get the head close enough to be comfortable for him/her to feed. I did find swaddling quite good with one of mine as it got her arms out of the way. I also found that sitting with my feet on a couple of telephone directories made it easier to feed with the baby laying across my front. There were certain chairs that I just could not do it on in the early days!

Good luck over the next few days.

kiskidee · 27/06/2006 22:37

jaundice & breastfeeding

bamboozler, the link above which leads to loads of other links is a good one to read.

How is the bf going? I don't understand why you are expressing instead of just feeding your baby directly.

My baby was jaundiced for more than a month and was breastfed too. I don't know all the facts on your baby's jaundice but formula may be unnecessary and may be impeding your breastfeeding since that is what it seems like you really want to do.

bumping for you for the more knowledgeable than me to notice.

Original poster
bamboozleslover · 28/06/2006 13:21

the midwife advised i express cos he won't stay on the breast for very long, and he won't be getting sufficient milk. his arms were one of the main problems as he kept pushing away with them. i found swaddling helps too. the thing is he was born with strong neck muscles and just keeps coming off. when he was only 2 days old he held it and i counted to eleven. to be honest i did want the closesness of feeding him myself but as long as he his getting the breast milk, it doesn't really matter how he gets it i suppose.

OP posts:
kiskidee · 28/06/2006 13:47

if your baby is getting formula, and is full, he will refuse the breast.

it sounds to me that if your baby is not ill enough to be hospitalised for jaundice, then he is well enough to not have any formula.

please please call on of the bf charities today and speak about these issues if you want to bf exclusively.

midwives and hv's advice on breastfeeding in general in my own experience and that of alot of other mums on MN have been very lousy.

NCT 0870 444 8708
ABM

LLL

kiskidee · 28/06/2006 13:52

sorry, pc playing silly buggers

NCT 0870 444 8707
LLL 0845 120 1918
ABM 0870 401 7711

tiktok · 28/06/2006 14:03

bamboo, it does matter how your baby gets breastmilk.

Mothers do express long term when they have to, and my hat goes off to them and my heart goes out to them, because it is not easy.

But breastfeeding direct is massively more convenient, it is better for antibodies (because the baby orders up the antibodies he wants via his saliva and his contact with the breast), it is a physical connection between you and your baby that the bottle and teat can only imitate.....and you wanted to do it, so it is absolutely essential you get the right support.

You will be helped by speaking to someone who knows what's what. It may be that at the moment expressing is the only way to be sure your baby is getting the breastmilk he needs, but it should be temporary and you need help in the meantime.

You sound so low and tired and in need of decent help...I hope you get it.

kiskidee · 28/06/2006 14:17

ps: the volunteers on these helplines are fantastic and are specifically trained for the job. ring today

Original poster
bamboozleslover · 28/06/2006 15:10

i kept pestering the midwife about it and now she has told me about a local breastfeeding support group at the hospital which i think i am going to go to. thanks so much for all your help!!

OP posts:
kiskidee · 28/06/2006 15:26

ring one of the helplines today rather than wait? sorry if i sound pushy. just worried about you.