5day old newborn screaming unconsolably

[monniemae]

My baby seems fine in the day, but she's having an increasing number of sporadic, hysterical, uncobtrollable screaming starting in the evening through till 2 or 3am. I can't calm her at all. My partner can eventually...

He thinks it's normal for a baby but I'm sure something's wrong that we haven't figured out. I thought maybe we were letting her get too hungry as she roots a bit and cries but even when I tried offering the breast earlier and earlier to pre-crying cues, she kind of frenziedly roots for it but screams, won't latch, arches her back right off and away from it and screams horrifically. Sometimes for an hour or two.

Any ideas? My milk only came in today / last night. I've spent today trying to make sure she gets the hind milk but tbh my tits feel rock hard even after a massive feed.

She is calm and asleep now in sling with partner. But she is definitely hungry (I think; he thinks if she was hungry she'd feed) and if I wake her or wait for her to stir and offer breast again the whole cycle restarts...

Thanks tiktok - will have a look at the book. It is a fascinating subject and I love your theory, rooner. In a way, it's something I'm thinking about more, now that my kids are older. Often acting up because a particular need isn't met or because of fear etc. I'm trying to figure all this out better so my older children aren't alone with their particular monsters... A whiny kid is definitely less appealing than a newborn and so IMHO it is easier to misread the signals.

No I didn't know that Tik

makes sense though.

I have that book but never found time to look at it

btw...I see it a lot in threads about cc, people say ''I make sure the baby is fed, winded, clean and comfortable and then leave the room''

It's the protocol of a thought process that goes something like,

'I cannot stop him crying. I don't know what's wrong but I can't do anything about it. Therefore it will make no difference if I walk away'.

While the (I suppose it's called) attachment method is more along the lines of,

'I cannot stop him crying. I don't know what's wrong and I can't do anything about it, but I can jolly well be here with him and he will know I'm here, whether or not it solves his immediate problem. I will never walk away'.

Just wanted to add that of course I was holding the baby, rocking and shushing her and doing skin to skin etc but I was breaking down at the heartbreakingness of it; plus nothing I did could calm her. Her dad was able to calm her.

I ran a massive fever overnight and a bit the two nights before (have been checked out) which may explain why I was crumbling so quickly, or maybe I would anyway, but I think what was happening was I wasn't getting her cues quick enough (plus other factors eg wind, boobs too full to latch etc) and then I was too stressed to be a comfort to her. So tiktok right in the sense I needed to tune and and trust myself.

Anyway. Nearly a week in and already figuring out some things NOT to do so it's all good. Thanks again.

I got the impression you were holding her Monnie. You sound in the thick of it and I really hope it all calms down really soon for you.

Peace will come. I promise! and sorry for writing so much on your thread.

Sorry, I haven't read all the answers to this and I have to read and run now, so this may have been said...

But as soon as I read your post, I thought Reflux. DD had this and was find in the day, but god the nights were awful - it was because she was lying flat on her back for longer periods so the acid was working it's way up her throat. I would say that it's definitely worth exploring.

Good luck and congratulations :)

Rooners, it's not so much 'attachment method'...I think you are recalling 'attachment theory' which is a 'theory' in the sense of 'coherent way of explaining an issue' and not 'a few ideas got up down the pub' :) :0

Attachment theory is not a method, but a way of understanding (early) relationships, connections, emotional development. Attachment theory is supported by neuroscience ie how the brain develops and behaves.

moonie, it is possible to hold a baby and be close, but still not manage to calm the baby. If the caregiver is upset and unable to 'tune into' the baby, the rocking and the patting and the shushing and the jiggling can be even more confusing and upsetting to the baby. This is not because the baby can read minds :) - though he can certainly read faces and understand the tone of voices - but because the rocking etc is 'random' and the baby's emotions are not contained by the parent and remain unregulated (another technical term - means the caregiver is not able to ascertain what the baby needs to calm down). All parents get this wrong sometimes, and the baby has a melt down...can't be helped.