Tell me a positive story... about healthy, smart bottle-fed kids

[lbandrb]

I've just had to stop breastfeeding after a month. It's a gut-wrenching thing to do, but I have an autoimmune condition I couldn't medicate while breastfeeding, and it had become impossible to manage and care for my baby. Can anyone encourage me with positive stories of babies who have thrived on bottle milk?

my dd (9) and ds (6) both ended up being bottle fed after the first few weeks and it hasnt stunted their growth or made them stupid!! Both got prizes at the school prize giving (dd for the 5th year in a row and ds for the 2nd time - no pressure for next year then!). DS is gifted at maths and dd excels at reading/story writing.

Is that all positive enough for you!!

p.s. they are also normal cheeky little beggars who can drive you nuts at times but that is unrelated to how they were fed when babies

all of my parents generation for a start......

I was bottle fed! My only persisting health issue is hayfever and a smokers cough and I doubt these came from formula.

You have to do what's right for you and baby. Both my dc were bottle fed. Ds now nearly 14 was through choice because I was incapable and he was v ill after delivery. He's a v smart boy, clever, funny, caring etc.

Dd is fine too, has incredible vocabulary, reading age of teenager and has just turned 10.

Well I am bright and healthy, not a drop of breastmilk passed my lips.

Remember that you HAVE breastfed for a month, under what seems to be very stressful circumstances. You should be proud of yourself. I have two children, one bottlefed and one breastfed. I challenge you to tell the difference now they are older.

Hi
I FF both mine (I don't discuss the reasons why, but wanted to reply to you).

Both are fine, and healthy. DC1 is coming up for 9, DC will be 6 soon. DC1 has had very few illnesses, although he does have very mild asthma which was triggered by a severe chest infection. DC is incredibly healthy.

They have had almost no stomach bugs - the last time for DC1 was 3 years ago when he ate some dodgy shellfish on holiday, DC2 last had a tummy bug when she was 2. The chest infection DC1 had has been the only serious illness that either have had.

DC1 has had about 3 days off school in 4 years, DC2 has never had time off school.

Both are clever, DC1 is top of his class for reading, and maths, and wins prizes for his art. DC2 is also great at reading, and maths.

However, that's purely our experience. There is no link between how they were fed, and how they turned out. Your DC will be fine, don't beat yourself up about this (and I know how you feel, I tortured myself over feeding). Focus on giving your child the best that you can; give him/her good quality food once s/he weans; read to him/her; talk to him/her, and be present when you play together. All of these things will help your child grow up confident, and strong.

And, if s/he is ill - don't worry that you fed him/her is to blame. S/he will be the person they are meant to be.

Best wishes

My 2 nieces and my nephew were all exclusively bottlefed. They are thriving, intelligent and healthy. My DS was mix fed for the first 6 weeks as he just wouldn't feed on the boob and then went to bottle. I felt just the same as you but I promise you, he is the healthiest little boy I know.

Me, dd1 was breasted for three weeks, she's the one Ruth the asthma and eczema,

Dd2 never had breast milk and had a rocky start but once on the right formula has thrived. She is a bit ditzy though bless her.

They really do ok on formula don't feel bad. The month you have done will have helped immensely. Please don't feel bad.

My siblings and I were all bottle-fed (70s children). We are all in our forties, have 6 university degrees between us and were hale and healthy children. My brother had the most hospital visits as a child but those were due to him harming himself in various imaginative ways (falling out of trees, running into lamp-posts, y'know, that sort of stupidity ). Nothing to do with being bottle-fed

I'm sorry you've had to give up something you really wanted to do for your baby. But try not to beat yourself up about it - it sounds like formula is the best option for you and your baby.

I breastfed three of my children and bottle fed one of them. There is no discernible difference in health and intelligence between any of them (in fact the bottle fed one just did his KS2 Sats and got better grades than his breastfed older sibling).

Breastfeeding is a tiny part of parenting which will pale into insignificance as time goes on because you know you made the right decision for your situation.

I only breastfed both my DD and my DS until they were 6 weeks old.

I have very close relationships with both of them and they thrived on having a happy mummy in those early months. I felt i gave them a good start in life and so have you with breastfeeding for a month.

They're now 11 & 8, both incredibly healthy and intelligent children. My DS has NEVER had a day off school (in 5 years) and they're both bundles of energy.

There's so much pressure to breastfeed but really you have to do what's right for you & your baby. Good luck!

My DH and I were bottle fed. We have PhDs, MScs and MPhys' coming out of our ears! Does that help? Seriously we have 5 degrees between us (in Physics).
Health wise both of us are well and were throughout childhood and DH is very tall so bottle feeding didn't make us unhealthy or short (in his case, I'm short but that's genetics for you!).

I don't know what else to say. You've done well, you breastfed for a month you should be proud of yourself. Well done.

Both my sister and I were bottle fed as were my dh and bil. We all have degrees, post grad degrees and professional careers!

My ds is 5 was bottle fed and is very bright and sociable. Out of his friends the ones who were breastfed one has type 1 diabetes, 1 ADHD, 2 are overweight and ds is currently better at reading, writing and maths than any of them. * disclaimer- I am very aware this could rapidly change after all he is only 5 !

Thank you for all these responses so far - really nice to hear!

My baby has been bottle fed as we had several issues. However I have loved it. At the start we kept it as only my husband or I feeding the baby as it kept it more intimate. This is hard to do as people do feel they have a right to feed them as they are being bottle fed but we just made it clear to everyone what we wanted. Try and think of the positives. You can share the night shifts, it has also meant that my husband and I have a completely equal relationship with our ds. Our ds goes to my husband just as well as he does to me and it has meant my husband could be more involved and take him out on his own without worrying about having to get him back to me to breastfeed which also gave my husband such confidence with him. My son has had a lot less illnesses then his breastfed friends so it doesn't necessarily mean they will get ill more etc. also generally bottle fed babies go through the night earlier (of course there are exceptions to this) however it is a real bonus. I enjoyed my son so much more once he was sleeping through at 13 weeks.
Don't give yourself a hardy one you have done your best and your baby will grow up perfectly on formula.
Do keep talking about it so it doesn't become a huge issue for you.

Your baby will be fine. Please don't beat yourself up.

It's important to remember that the reason for promoting breastfeeding's health benefits is at a population level. It really doesn't mean that any given baby will be worse off because of being bottle fed (in this country. Obviously different if no safe water supply, etc).

My DH was bottle fed. Can't say I've noticed any ill effects. I think he's pretty smart and healthy!

My DS(9) was bottle fed after 2weeks of trying to breast feed. He is taller than average, healthy, bright and happy - long may this continue!
I am an auto-immune sufferer (last 4 years) and there s no way I could currently manage without meds and deal with a new baby - you need to take care of yourself too!

I can go further than a bottle fed baby and give you a tube fed baby!! DS2 was tube fed formula for 2 years, no solids til over 2 and at nearly 3.5 he's a strong, stoical thing. And he's extremely tall so it hasn't harmed his growth in the slightest....

And he also seems to be pretty clever, certainly way ahead of his brother at same age. And he's completely secure and loving and we have an amazing bond so please don't worry about it

Oh I feel your pain, OP, I really do. I got so much pressure when pregnant from GP midwife re breastfeed ing and I really wanted to do what "was best" . I had to stop after a few weeks because I was I'll myself. I was devastated, felt I had let Ds down, didn't help that everyone else in my naice MC NCT group all BF successfully. My self imposed guilt was like a black cloud.

But you know what? I was bottle fed and am pretty happy and smart. As are lots of people I know. Ds is now 7, clever, doing well at school, we have a close and loving relationship, he is a sociable and confident wee boy. He has also kept very good health (despite me worrying over every little PFB sniffle!) I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times he has actually vomited. No digestive problems, never had an ear infection, asthma or eczema. Mild chickenpox, one bout of croup and one bout of tonsillitis is all I can think of. He even shakes off colds pretty fast.

You can't look at a group of 1, 3, 5 or 7 year olds and tell who was fed what in the early days. As a PP said, it seems like such a HUGE thing at the time (it def did to me and I would never dismiss anyone's feelings on this issue as it hurt me) BUT she was right, it IS a very small part of parenting as a whole. Give formula with love, cuddles and eye contact, play and sing to your baby, have tickles and show them the world with love and laughter in your eyes. THAT will make much more difference to your child being happy than what they ingested in the first few months.

Don't be afraid to talk about how you are feeling, but don't let it rule.

Oh this is sad. lbandrb, you didn't choose to breastfeed because you wanted a guarentee of a healthy, clever kid, did you?

I bet you didn't.

You wanted to breastfeed because it is a lovely thing mothers can do for their babies and you wanted that experience with your baby.

The health/IQ benefits of bf cannot be predicted in individual babies (except in very unusual cases) but you know the difference it has made for you as an individual because you feel it is 'gut wrenching' not to do it....so you absolutely need to own that feeling without being distracted into whether your baby will manage to get a PhD or not :( :(

Once you have understood your feeling and accepted it for what it is, you can ensure you have as close to the lovely experience as you wanted.

So:

• make sure only you or your baby's father do the bottle feeding, resisting other people's desires to 'have a turn' (passing the parcel of a baby for feeding purposes is not good for a baby)
• bottle feed responsively and according to your baby's cues, without trying to schedule rigidly or insist on the baby finishing the bottle each time
• hold your baby skin to skin when you can, when you are giving the bottle
• enjoy the feeding time as a way of connecting and being close - perfectly possible with bottles, just as it is with breast

And think of feeding as more than just a way of getting milk into him - whether it is breast or formula, feeding is so much more than this.

ds1 was breast fed for 4 days when he was taken back into hospital
9 ( found out I was a group b strep carrier) and they wanted to keep an eye on him. When they weighed him they were slightly worried as it had dropped. I was sent home for the night and old to express over night and they would bottle feed him over the night. I was unable to produce anything in 8 hrs. We tried again with the help of midwifes, nurses etc but it was found I was unable to produce anything. He is now being tested to see if he can be put forward for the G&T programme and is in the top 25% of his year. He has slight asthma and a peanut allergy but on the whole very healthy.
With ds2 I tried again with the breast feeding but he was unable to suckle because he had a poorly heart. Again I tried to express but the stress of finding out about his heart meant my supply dried up. He is mildly austic and the hole in his heart has been fixed( he has apacemaker but nothing to do with being bottle feed).
Once I found I couldn't feed and relaxed both children became more relaxed.You tried. Well done you. Pat yourself on your back. Happy mummy=happy baby

My step daughter was formula fed from day one. She is consistently one of the topof her class, happy, healthy, kind and amazing at 8 years old. She is also popular and a complete socialite!

I feel your pain though, my DS is 5 weeks and I was desperate to BF. we lasted until 2 weeks, started mixed feeding, and he is now completely FF. I don even have a medical condition, I just couldn't cope. Your baby is being fed. He is loved. He is well cared for, and so are you. That is what's important, and you have already given him so much by doing it for the first month. Xx

Ds1 ff - just had the odd one or two probs, nothing major

Ds2 bf for 1.5 years - about 8 lots of abs for all sorts of shitty prolonged infections of various orifices.

Most important thing is baby is fed though op you've done brilliant so far so try not to let this get you down. There's no need :)

I offer up my grandmother and great-aunt (twins) born in 1920. They were both bottle-fed with 1920's formula and condensed milk. They both went to university (very unusual for women in 1939!), had professional jobs, and are both still alive today and healthy enough to have just come back from a holiday in Spain. They will be 93 in a couple of weeks.

Dd1 was ff from 4 weeks

She's the tallest girl in her class, on several sports teams and classed as gifted and talented in maths, English and science

Dd2 I breast fed for 6 months
She is equally as tall and clever as her older sister but is also lactose intolerant, has severe asthma, eczema and hayfever

Thems the breaks!