Tell me a positive story... about healthy, smart bottle-fed kids

[lbandrb]

I've just had to stop breastfeeding after a month. It's a gut-wrenching thing to do, but I have an autoimmune condition I couldn't medicate while breastfeeding, and it had become impossible to manage and care for my baby. Can anyone encourage me with positive stories of babies who have thrived on bottle milk?

I've had to give up bf after two weeks too Op and am struggling with it, I bf DS1 easily so the fact I can't do it with his brother is very hard. I feel very guilty. Realistically, the fact your baby had a month of breastmilk with all the antibodies etc means the difference in health outcomes is miniscule. Really not worth worrying about (but I know that's easier said than done)!

My brother (now all grown up) refused to bf. He's now got 2 degrees, a PhD and a kick-ass high-earning job. He plays lots of sport and is rarely ill.

My 3mo DD is ff due to severe complications in my emcs which meant I never produced any milk. I feel sad and guilty about it most of the time, even though I know I couldn't have done more than I did to establish my supply. However I just need to look at my bro to know that how she's brought up is about much more than what I feed her. So far she's hitting milestones ahead of schedule and seems incredibly alert. So I have no worries about her in the future.

I know how you must feel - please remember you are doing a great job and your LO is lucky to have a mum who cares so much.

Oh, the wonders of Mumsnet. Thank you, everyone. This support is bringing a little tear to my eye.

Another formula feeder offering support. My DS is four months now and I EBF for the first month. It was awful. DS didn't put on weight, he fussed and cried constantly and I felt like he wasn't connecting with me at all.

Started mixed feeding and he was a different baby. I cried the first time I gave him a bottle because he gazed at me with such happiness. My HV etc were very supportive and also encouraged me to continue with skin to skin and only my DH and I feed DS.

Our bond with him is really strong and he is avert healthy, happy baby. As a PP said
Happy mummy = happy baby

(I was also FF after 8 weeks and am healthy and educated to masters level. Same for my sister and she now works in Neurology!)

My DC were ff, both healthy happy and intelligent (scarily so in DC1's case). They are 10 and 6 (but the height of average 13yo and 9yo respectively )

You have done a lot better with bf than I did, OP.

Your baby will have been breastfed for a month and then bottle fed. While formula feeding increases certain risks, most babies do thrive. In addition, your baby received colostrum at the start and then breastmilk for the first month of his or her life - the tiny/vulnerable period.

I desperately wanted to breastfeed, but was unsuccessful. Both my DDs, now 16 and 12 are tall and healthy. In fact, they are both taller than me, they are both about 5 foot 6!

DD1 has just done her GCSEs and we are hoping for good results! She did her maths GCSE a year early and got an A*. She plays two instruments, one at Grade 6 level and the other at Grade 4. She is about to start training as a swimming teacher as a part time job. She will be starting her A level course in September, and is doing 3 sciences and one language. She helps out with the Brownies and is training to be a young leader, and has done her Duke of Edinburgh Bronze award.

DD2 won a scholarship to a local private school. She has had an excellent first year, she's made lots of new friends and had great reports from her teachers. She also plays two instruments, one at Grade 5 and the other at Grade 2. She is an excellent swimmer, but is too young to train to be a swimming teacher yet.

They are both normal teenagers, sometimes lovely, sometimes moody!

I'm sure your baby will be fine. Breastfeeding is not the only advantage you can give your child, if you try to bring them up well, that is the main thing. :)

You've done really well to do a month. Feel proud of that. Also I would agree with the others who've said you can make bottle feeding really lovely. Look on it as your chance to cuddle and connect with your baby. I mix feed my daughter and I probably prefer bottle feeding to breastfeeding because of the lovely cuddles.
your little one is very loved, which is the most important thing.

My 3 were formula fed from birth, I'm not sure I could cope if they were any smarter

I was bottle fed. I'm 45 and no asthma, eczema, not a fat child (just a porky adult). Used to get tonsillitis frequently. Never needed a brace on my teeth, well balanced and I have a fabulous memory but crap at school exams.

Because of my genes was the shortest and skinniest in my class and never grew taller than 4ft 11 3/4 inches.

Me, I got a degree in medicine. And my 2 eldest are both at grammar school (well, DD going in September) and DS2 is gorgeous and healthy. They were breast fed for a total of 20 days!! DS1 has epilepsy but that wouldn't have changed :)

My dd is very bright had no breast milk whatsoever ..

I chose to ff both of mine, after about a week of breastmilk each just to keep the health professionals off my back.

Both have very good degrees from Russel Group Universities, son is 6 foot 4 with a rowing blue and national medals, daughter is five foot eight size 8 (natural, she eats for England). They are never ill, had about six days of school in their 14 years each at school! They did have a very strict bedtime routine and plenty of sleep though....

Also never ill !

My bff children are both bottle fed from birth and they are absolutely gorgeously wonderful heathy and exceptionally bright children.

In fact my breastfed preschooler is sick far far more often!

Do not let this drag you down. I couldn't breastfeed dd for long for various reasons and it ruined my first few months with her, not because she wasn't breastfeeding but because I felt so bloody guilty.

Fwiw ds was breastfed until 9 months, is 6 now and has had more courses of antibiotics than I can count, so many ear and chest infections and has asthma.

Dd on the other hand is almost 3, no asthma it seems, much, much less infections requiring antibiotics.

Both are happy, healthy in general and growing and developing fine. Both are bonded to me in exactly the same way, to the same degree etc.

Don't make the mistakes I did, you are doing your best and that's good enough, really, it is.

I have 3 dcs. Ds1 was mixed fed til only 2 weeks when he was ff onwards. He talked in small sentence at 10 months, was reading novels at 4 (Roald Dahl not war and peace but ya know still pretty good!), was G&T at everything at primary school. He is now 14, taken 2 gcses 2 yrs early and gained a in both and predicted grades of a In everything. He hopes to go to Cambridge to do law to become a barrister. Can't remember when he was last ill but it must have been about 5 years ago. Oh and he's 6'3 😄
Ds2 was bf til 1 and is above average but nowhere near ds1.
Dd was bf til 2 and she catches every illness going and always gets it worse than everyone else!

How's that?! Cx

Such encouragement - thanks. Having now taken my meds and heard these tales this is the best I've felt, physically and emotionally, since my son's birth. We've had a tough month - difficult labour; then he was ill; then I was whacked out with bad anaemia, an infection and low sodium levels. Then the nightmare of the heatwave, then my autoimmune condition returned with a vengeance. Now I'm feeling better I can see I'm much more equipped to care for my baby in all the ways he needs. Thanks again, everyone!

I had desperately wanted to bf ds1 but due to a difficult birth & various other complications he had to be topped up for medical reasons & we were never able to wean him off them. We combined fed for 6 months with more & more ff creeping in before moving to compete ff by which time ds2 was cooking.
It was the most gut wrenching decision to have the top ups & I felt like a complete failure on many levels. How you are feeling about this is normal & as tiktok said you need to own that feeling, it's yours to feel.

As others have said there are things you can do to make ff as close to bf as you can & things we did were only me or dh doing feeds, holding lo close in bf type positions, feed on demand, don't force the bottle to be finished. The most important thing is your baby is fed, loved & cared for & has a well mummy to do it.

Ds1 is now 19 months, he reached all milestones so far either on time or early, is very healthy (has only had 3 colds his entire life & none of them slowed him down), has an amazing appetite for food & life, he's bright as a button & is learning to speak in 2 languages & already has lots of words in both & is a beautiful, bright, brilliant little boy

At the time it's awful I know but time really is a great healer & with each precious smile, every cuddle had, each milestone reached, the times when only Mummy will do & the million & 1 other magical things that are to come your way a little bit of balm will be put on the wound & eventually it won't hurt nearly so much.

Dd was born 32/40 after my PE, em cs, very small for gestation. Tried, actually was forced, to bf but it was no use, I believe my body had gone into shock. We spoke to nicu nurse sister who was pissed off as I would be costing her ward money, but decided I couldn't "steal" donated BM anymore and we converted. Under guidance from Dietician, left hospital bottle feeding.

Dd thrived, put on weight, caught up with full term babies in no time. She is skinny, but eats like a horse. Now in Y2, second in her class for literacy, fifth in class for maths, very intelligent, and very funny. I regret I missed the closeness experienced with BF but I had to keep her healthy and save my sanity. Don't worry about what other people think, do what you think is right.

DB was bottle fed as was v prem. He is healthy (apart from asthma) and is extremely clever and has a fantastic job earning loads. He went from a tiny sick 2 pound 13 oz baby to a tall healthy man and has always been well since then.

DN was bottlfed from birth, weaned on smash and spagetti hoops and has not had a days illness (bar usual colds) she is 10 now and very very clever.

In comparison my own dcs who were bf for extended periods are all quite sickly and have various health issues