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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Foolproof (ha!) techniques to stop my baby suckling for comfort at night.

33 replies

Tinker · 08/05/2006 16:04

Baby is nearly 12 months and I'm stiff bf. Am resigned to the fact that she still wakes at night and that we can't do a lot about that atm. Don't mind the feeding but am really starting to hate the continued suckling afterwards.

Have tried a dummy - gets thrown away.
Have tried just removing her when can feel this is what she's doing = screaming, really angry LOUD screaming.

She won't take a teat of any sort so can't just give her water.

What can I do?? Exasperated.

OP posts:
HunKeRMunKeR · 08/05/2006 16:06

Depends how tough you want to get.

Do you have a partner who can take over at night? This worked for us - DH is far more patient than I am though. DS1 didn't play him up because he knew there was never going to be any "reward" for playing up as DH can't give in and feed him!

CarolinaMoonfish · 08/05/2006 16:08

hmmmmm.

this didn't really end with ds until I stopped bfing him at night. The first night was quite tough. DP did lots of comforting and offering drinks of water. The next night was better and by the third night he was sleeping through Grin.

He was more like 14 or 15mo when we did this though.

Tatties · 08/05/2006 16:12

No answers from me I'm afraid, just wanted you to know you're not alone Tinker Smile Does your dd unlatch herself? I find that it's better all round to just wait until ds has finished. Do you co-sleep to make the night waking easier?

Original poster
Tinker · 08/05/2006 16:21

I do feed lying down but my back hurts so much, feel as though I'm contorted slightly when do it. Plus, just can't really sleep when she's in teh bed. I seem to get about 1/2 a foot to sleep on as she rolls towards me. Partner gets about 2/3 of the bed (he disputes this) Have tried the get tough approach (either partner holding her or me just holding her) but this results in vile neighbour shouting through teh walls at her cries.(see my moaning threads on this)

Don't co-sleep but she's in a cot in our room.

OP posts:
Tatties · 08/05/2006 18:54

I found it a nightmare when we first started co-sleeping - felt like I couldn't sleep when ds was in the bed. But after a little while we got used to it. Now when ds wakes to feed I don't really notice. Much less effort for me than trying to get him back to sleep without a feed.

shazronnie · 08/05/2006 21:37

I don't think there's a technique; you just have to be firm, and listen to the screaming for a bit!
If you can persevere and are consistent you should find this only lasts a couple of nights.

Obviously your neighbour makes this difficult, but you have to sort this out with your feelings in mind as well as his/hers.

Notquitesotiredmum · 09/05/2006 12:24

Loads of sympathy. My boys both comfort suckled a lot at night and like you I didn't enjoy that. Feeding was fine.

We never managed 3 in a bed for the same reasons as you. We got a single bed for the dss at 12 months with a side thingie, and I used to go into the single bed with them, (still do 6 years later!) leaving dh in our kingsized bed alone. That helped me sleep enormously as there is much more space. Doesn't solve the suckling problem, however.

Can you find out if moaning neighbour is going away at all and tackle it then? I never found any quiet way of getting my boys off the breast at night, but agree that it only takes 2-3 nights, even for my complete addicts!

Original poster
Tinker · 09/05/2006 18:27

Thanks all. Am thinking of doing it when/if they're away. Want to stop bf altogether reaaly now. But everything seems to say cut out the day feeds first. I'm too inarticulate through sleep deprivation atm to say what I mean. It's the neighbours which really stop me going through with it - shouting again last night.

OP posts:
CarolinaMoonfish · 09/05/2006 18:31

we stopped during the day first, then night, but I don't see why you couldn't do it the other way round.

Ds picked up the new regime v quickly and didn't want to bf during the day at all after a few days of stopping, so I guess if you are strict about no bfing in the bedroom or whatever it will sink in pretty quickly.

Original poster
Tinker · 09/05/2006 18:33

Thing is, when I'm at work she takes virtually no milk so has pretty much stopped in the day anyway for 5 days per week. Am so confused about the whole thing, think working is not compatible with breastfeeding and a sleeping through baby.

OP posts:
CarolinaMoonfish · 09/05/2006 20:45
Sad

she is old enough to stop if you want to stop - she will get used to not bfing v quickly if you go cold turkey.

I do sometimes miss the easy comforting, but it is worth it not to have the endless sucking with ds's teeth starting to clamp down on my nipple cos there's no milk there...

Original poster
Tinker · 10/05/2006 13:29

Yes, biting has started as well.

OP posts:
monkeytrousers · 11/05/2006 08:14

Have you tried kissing? It may sound strange but DS latches onto my bottom lip for what looks like a big frenchy for about 5 mins before going to sleep. Grin

CarolinaMoonfish · 11/05/2006 08:55

bleurgh

I'd rather have sore nips that a hugely distended lower lip, thanks Wink

Chickpea · 11/05/2006 09:25

Tinker - firstly I want to say I really enpathise with you. I have 4 little darlings and ds1, dd2 and dd3 have all refused teats of any sort (dd1 was the only one that cooperated!) so it's been down to me to feed and comfort suckle.

One thing that I do believe helps is if you think of the night waking as a habit - a body clock thing. Interestingly we went to the US when my dd2 was 10 months and as her sleep routine was totally messed up due to the time difference she snapped out of the night waking by the time she had got used to the time difference.

Using this principle you could try making some changes to her routine. Going to the US is a bit extreme I admit but other changes may just snap her out of it. A couple of lateer bed times after an evening walk or something. I know this sounds like a risky strategy but when you've tried all the usuall stuff it might be worth a shot.

I have just started back at work full time and my dd4 is now 5 months and still up suckling btween 2 and 4 times a night so I'm bracing myself for a similar problem! So do let us know how you get on. Good luck

apronstrings · 11/05/2006 11:18

Tinker I am in exaxctly the same situation as you. Ds2 will drink water form a sippy cup - but thats it. As well as the night time issue I also have to work out how to stop feeding at some point soon.Sad

buffythenappyslayer · 11/05/2006 11:26

havent read all the thread,but,my dd is 21 months and wakes around 3-4 times a night for a comfort feed.im trying to stop bf completely,and the other night not only was i knackered,but i had very sore nipples from dd constantly being on me.i put some kamilosan on so soothe my poor chewed nips!dd came to me abit later for a feed,and said 'booby yak yak!' and headed off for her bottle of milk!(normal cows milk)
'ah ha!' thought i!!so i kept putting kamilosan on that evening and dd slept right through the whole night without waking once!!(i woke up twice and had to check on her!)she co sleeps aswell,and i thought she wouldve woken as i was next to her,but no!!!
so,try the kamilosan trick!!!

ceba · 11/05/2006 11:29

my son still does this occaisonally (17 months) and it is a PITA! what i use is a bottle of warm/hot water, and slide it into his mouth as soon as the nipple comes out - it keeps the nipple of the bottle warm and moist, and that seems to fool him enough! he has a couple of sucks and then just stays asleep... i know you said they won't take a teat, but this seemed to work for us when dummy was refused. another suggestion from Elizabeth Pantley (no cry sleep solution lady - FABULOUS book) is to press gently on their chin when they are rooting for the breast again - haven't tried it but it might work

stripeybumpsmum · 11/05/2006 11:33

My DS is only 14 weeks so not at this stage yet, but checked Baby Whisperer book and she suggests timing it and cutting down gradually. So say allow her to suckle for normal time first night and time it, next night reduce by 2 minutes until finally down to about two minutes. Hold her for the remaining time. Then as the suckling gets shorter, eventually you should be able to go into her but keep her in her bed and gradually reduce that time until eventually she doesn't wake up. In theory....hope it works (better do, I will be trying it in a few weeks!)

blueshoes · 11/05/2006 11:50

Nothing worked for dd but cold turkey. Dd went on nursing strike at 17 months. I took that as the sign to wean her off completely - slept through within weeks. Before that, she would not take a dummy, no bottles, made a mockery of the techniques in Elizabeth Pantley, Whisperer. Loud screaming when unlatched.

tyedye · 11/05/2006 12:11

My dd is 2,still at it and im knackered.She uses me as a dummy!

ronniec · 11/05/2006 14:33

I silently threatened my dd with controlled crying method when she was still nightfeeding at 12m and would have no bottles, next night she slept through - must have sensed my growing frustration. reckon getting partner to help and putting up with some crying might be the way. when she's a bit older try telling her mummy's milk is all gone and she'll have to settle for a cuddle, which she probably wont' wake up for. it's hard cos they're all so different.

ronniec · 11/05/2006 14:34

I silently threatened my dd with controlled crying method when she was still nightfeeding at 12m and would have no bottles, next night she slept through - must have sensed my growing frustration. reckon getting partner to help and putting up with some crying might be the way. when she's a bit older try telling her mummy's milk is all gone and she'll have to settle for a cuddle, which she probably wont' wake up for. it's hard cos they're all so different.

ronniec · 11/05/2006 14:34

I silently threatened my dd with controlled crying method when she was still nightfeeding at 12m and would have no bottles, next night she slept through - must have sensed my growing frustration. reckon getting partner to help and putting up with some crying might be the way. when she's a bit older try telling her mummy's milk is all gone and she'll have to settle for a cuddle, which she probably wont' wake up for. it's hard cos they're all so different.

ronniec · 11/05/2006 14:34

I silently threatened my dd with controlled crying method when she was still nightfeeding at 12m and would have no bottles, next night she slept through - must have sensed my growing frustration. reckon getting partner to help and putting up with some crying might be the way. when she's a bit older try telling her mummy's milk is all gone and she'll have to settle for a cuddle, which she probably wont' wake up for. it's hard cos they're all so different.