Foolproof (ha!) techniques to stop my baby suckling for comfort at night.

[Tinker]

Baby is nearly 12 months and I'm stiff bf. Am resigned to the fact that she still wakes at night and that we can't do a lot about that atm. Don't mind the feeding but am really starting to hate the continued suckling afterwards.

Have tried a dummy - gets thrown away.
Have tried just removing her when can feel this is what she's doing = screaming, really angry LOUD screaming.

She won't take a teat of any sort so can't just give her water.

What can I do?? Exasperated.

I silently threatened my dd with controlled crying method when she was still nightfeeding at 12m and would have no bottles, next night she slept through - must have sensed my growing frustration. reckon getting partner to help and putting up with some crying might be the way. when she's a bit older try telling her mummy's milk is all gone and she'll have to settle for a cuddle, which she probably wont' wake up for. it's hard cos they're all so different.

sorry think something really wrong with my machine, will sign off now ...

Tinker, I sympathise so much. My little girl really regressed as far as sleep was concerned and nightly feeds ended up being every 2 hours just to get her settled. I think because she was in a cot in my room she saw me and persisted with screaming even if her daddy was cuddling her until she got what she wanted. (she's now 8 months)

Anyway, over Easter, ie when daddy had a few days off work, we shifted her into her own room and every time she cried daddy went in to settle her, first night she woke pretty much as normal, then 2nd night alot better, by fourth night she was sleeping through and has done ever since :)

I had to really force myself just to leave daddy to get on with it, it's obviously against a mummy's instinct to stay away from her crying baby. It was so worth it though.

Good luck, I hope it all works out whatever you decide to try

I never wrote on a discussion before, this is my first :)

Oh, thank you all for all of these messages.

We've been leaving dummies lying around or giving her one to play with to see if she gets the hang of them. Will try anything.

Last 2 nights we have completely given in and co-slept, not even attempted to put her back in her cot after she has woken up. Must say, we've all slept a lot better.

Have heard about reducing timings fo feeds, sort of tried it but no use. Results in hysterical LOUD screaming.

When she eventually has her own room, will be tougher I think.

Am very attracted to idea of a trip to the States to sort it though!

Had also wondered about painting myself with something foul tasting. Might give it a go "accidentally" but it sure does hurt some nights.

She does sometimes gnaw on my chin but it hurts now. Think lips might be worse.

Bottle of warm water sounds a good idea as well.

Tinker, I am not proud of triggering dd's nursing strike. Basically I freaked out at her waking 3x an hour to nibble on me at night, and then crying when I unlatched - started to yell at her. I think I frightened her into a nursing strike!

Oh, blueshoes, lack of sleep knackers us all.

I can so empathise with your lack of sleep tinker. DS fed every 2 hours from the start night and day. He wouldnt take a bottle either but i gave him a tomee tipee beaker with water at 6 months which he eventually got the hand of but not for a substitute night feed. I was so ill and tired by 9 and a half months that after a particularly bad day when i'd been too tired to even interact with ds, partner insisted we did controlled crying. I'd been so against this and felt like we were going to torture him. Partner took over and I wore earplugs. DS cried for about 40mins first night and 20 next then that was that. It was horrible but certainly worth it as i could finally enjoy DS. I felt stupid for not doing it earlier. DS now 2yrs and settles himself really well and sleep 12/13 hrs a night. There is a book called the no cry sleep solution that i tried before we did this to try and teach him to settle himself. I had a musical/seashore sound thing that i played when feeding to associate it and then put it on his cot and it gets activated when he cries. I'm not sure if this helped or not but i kept it going for ages in case it was the magical thing that helped!

My DS woke up every night every 2 hours to bfeed. At about 8 mths got fed up (had gone back to work and was exhausted) so we went cold turkey on nighttime bfeeding (still bfed before bed and first thing in the morning). We also did controlled crying at the same time for the sleeping. Sounds cruel I know, but first night he cried 45mins, second night 10 mins and has slept through every night since (now 12 mths). I know it is really difficult - they do love to suck!