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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Going on holiday to stop bf 2 year old

28 replies

reneaa2 · 09/03/2013 01:23

My ds is nearly 2 and I am planning a holiday without him to stop breastfeeding him.

How long will I need to be away from him to have my milk completely dry up?

Is there any medication a gp can prescribe to hurry up this process?

Has anyone else done similar?

OP posts:

Zavi · 09/03/2013 01:53

I think you need to re-think that one!

Can't believe you would go straight from bf to that!

HappyAsASandboy · 09/03/2013 02:33

It does sound a bit harsh for your baby, to go from Breastfeeding to no mummy at all in one go :(

Could you not just distract, offer cups of milk, get dad to do night wakings etc instead?

Welovegrapes · 09/03/2013 02:36

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Welovegrapes · 09/03/2013 02:36

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Welovegrapes · 09/03/2013 02:37

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MrsSham · 09/03/2013 02:45

At that age I dropped down to bf only am and pm then only pm that took a week each and then I just stopped, took dd two days to adjust, then she seemed to just forget about bf.

I do t think you should go away, I think that would be horrific for DC.

Just do it in stages, I think the DV needs to lead it to certain extent.

leedy · 09/03/2013 09:39

Yes, a more gradual approach is much easier on your DC and your boobs - you do not want mastitis (it's horrible), and you're risking it by stopping cold turkey especially if DC is feeding more than a couple of times a day. Also I think associating "mum going away" with "no more BF" could be stressful for your DC. Which is not to say you can't go away for a couple of days if you want to apart from stopping BF - I went away for a weekend and then for five days while still BF DS1, but I brought a pump and resumed when I got back.

I stopped with DS1 at 2.5 when we had been down to am and pm for quite a while, then went to just pm (daddy did distraction and getting up in the morning), then dropped the bedtime one after a few weeks (he was a big boy and had "drunk all the milk"). It helped I was pregnant when I dropped the last one as I think my supply was also dropping but it was all pretty painless for all concerned.

SirBoobAlot · 09/03/2013 09:47

That sounds both cruel and impractical, to be honest.

If you want to wean him, then do it slowly over the process of a few weeks / months - the slower you do it, the easier it will be for him emotionally, and for you physically. This is the advice for weaning regardless of age. Drop one feed at a time, distract him when he's requesting one that you've dropped, engage with him playing or singing, offer a snack / cup of drink and give him a cuddle.

As for your milk drying up, it's different for everyone.

MoreSnowPlease · 09/03/2013 10:06

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Withdrawn at poster's request

Original poster

reneaa2 · 09/03/2013 10:24

Ok. I remember one mum on mn leaving her young baby overnight (bf too) and she seemed to get a positive response to this.

He is nearly 2, I have never spent a single night away from him. I work, so am away from him in the day and his dad looks after him a lot too (can handle naps and bedtimes without me). He also has a couple of comfort objects. So why is it I'm getting a hard time and told to reconsider his emotional needs ?

I have lost my job and will be back to being full time sahm for the foreseeable future and he is not an easy 2 x a day toddler to breastfeed that we all hear about.

He is inconsistent, can go 18 hours without if I'm not around or if we are out a lot but if we are at home and I am with him more he wants it every couple of hours. So I can see it becoming an issue when I'm looking after him more. It also affects his appetite and makes him a fussy eater.

Have the chance to go on a holiday with some friends and was thinking of extending it is it meant I could stop bf.

Is it true that it can take months at this age, I thought is was all supply demand!? When did that change!? And are there no medications to dry it up, I thought there would be some version of decongestant that was strong enough to dry up milk really effectively .

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 09/03/2013 10:33

No one is telling you not to go on holiday, but to go on holiday for the purpose of stopping breastfeeding is a rather unfair idea. And there is a huge difference between leaving a child over night, and going away on holiday.

If you want to go on holiday and enjoy yourself, you are better off weaning him slowly and gently before you go, or you will not only come home to a very upset toddler who wants to feed the second you get through the door, but you will get mastitis, and that will ruin your time away.

Breast milk is produced on a supply and demand basis, but your body will continue to make it for a while after. I'm still producing milk having stopped on October when DS was only feeding every other day. Why the rush for it to dry up, I don't understand?

MerryMingeWhingesAgain · 09/03/2013 10:38

At that age I could easily not feed for 3 days or so then just carry on again. Perhaps have a look at other methods to wean him gently if you have had enough?

I don't think anyone is having a pop at you for wanting to stop, feeding for 2 years is bloody fantastic, at this age he can take in things like 'no more milk for now, maybe later' and similar.

The BF helplines aren't just for people struggling to start BF, they can talk you through stopping too if that's what you want. I hope it all goes smoothly for you both.

ChocolateCoins · 09/03/2013 10:39

Sorry everyones giving you a hard time op. I know how you feel. My toddler was exactly the same. Could go all day without bf but if I was there, would want to bf every 2 hours! I don't understand how people managed to get it down to just morning and night.

Eventually my milk dried up when I became pregnant so that sorted the problem out for me, but I was considering a similar thing to you before that. I really don't have any advice for you just wanted to offer you some support. Is he completely night weaned? Maybe start there if he isn't?

Original poster

reneaa2 · 09/03/2013 10:41

Also I don't think I'm at much risk of mastitis. Never had it or any other issues like it. Not had engorgement either since he was around 6 months. And never needed or bothered to pump after that time either, often go 18 hours with no issue so I suspect it is something that some mothers are less likely to suffer from.

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 09/03/2013 10:45

I went to a work conference when DS was just under 2, and diving go back to bfing him after it. At that point I was only bfing him before bed. There were a couple of tears when I came back and said no, but it really wasnt that traumatic for either of us. I think if he had kicked up a massive fuss I might have relented, but it wasn't that bad.

midori1999 · 09/03/2013 10:49

I do sympathise, my toddler is a similar age and still feeds a million times a day if we're at home. If we're very busy and out then it might just be 3-4 times. She too manages fine when I'm not there and I'd feel happy leaving her with DH for a night or two to go away, but I have no doubt she'd want to feed immediately I returned. I'm now pregnant again with dreadful morning sickness, so it's very draining at times.

I'm sorry, but I do agree it's not very fair to leave your toddler suddenly in order to wean them. I can understand it seems a right PITA to wean any other way, but I think the long term benefits of that to your child will be huge.

Of course, you may well find once you're home every day the nursing lessens too, as it's probable that your toddler is currently overcompensating for the times you're not there.

Original poster

reneaa2 · 09/03/2013 10:52

The rush to end now is that I will soon be home with a demanding bf toddler full time and that will be incredibly stressful!

Thank you chocolatecoin I'm glad it worked out for you, but it is very frustrating as I have been trying to cut feeds now for nearly a year and don't seem to be making progress. Night weaning is going fairly well, down to just a single feed (occasionally 2 if i am desperate and it us a bad night) at night which is a vast improvement and I am still working on shortening this one feed.

I want to be able to tell him that there is no more milk and if he wants to try he will find that out himself.

I know they don't recommend bf mothers take decongestants is this warning only applicable to those who don't have established supplies or do you think they may make some impact in reducing an established supply?

Would there be any other risks not associated with supply if I was to take them and then bf?

OP posts:

midori1999 · 09/03/2013 10:54

Re: the mastitis. Having started to BF my first 3 DC then given up cold turkey with severe engorgement and no sign of mastitis, I ignored the bit about mastitis on hospital discharge this time. I have now had mastitis 11 times! The only way to stop it was for me to dry up the affected side (which I did 11 months ago and there's still milk there!). I can also happily go a good 18 hours without feeding without getting it, but I know I can get it now.

I've also seen Ladies post on here after getting their first bout of mastitis with older toddlers, having never had it before, so please don't assume it won't happen to you and it's beyond awful if you do get it.

TheSecondComing · 09/03/2013 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

leedy · 09/03/2013 10:59

Oh, I totally agree - feeding for two years is amazing, and I'm not having a pop at you for wanting to stop either, I just think there are easier ways of doing it for you and DC, and I found stopping gradually really unstressful.

Even if you don't think you're prone to mastitis and have gone 18 hours without a feed without engorgement, stopping cold turkey and not feeding again is still a mastitis risk - you won't just suddenly stop producing milk after feeding for two years, your supply is pretty robust at that stage (hence the fact you could go 18 hours and then resume where you left off) and it could still get backed up after a couple of days. It is very very unpleasant and I would not wish it on anybody!

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 09/03/2013 11:03

Oh don't stop this way, it is such a hard end to an amazing thing younhave done. If you have never been away and then go like this he will experience it like a bereavement. It could cause you major issues and really smash his trust.

Yes, stop feeding, but don't just leave him. I feel quite teary! It will feel to him like the world has ended.

Sorry, do understand how hard it is to wean gradually but please rethink your strategy, this is horrible.

SirBoobAlot · 09/03/2013 11:49

I didn't mean the rush to stop, I meant the rush for your milk drying up. Highly doubt decongestants would work.

trixymalixy · 09/03/2013 11:51

I never had any problems with engorgement or mastitis when I stopped. I'd taken my breast pump to the conference just in case, but I didn't need it.

leedy · 09/03/2013 11:53

Yeah, not an expert but I think decongestants would just dent your supply rather than completely stop it at this stage - I think hoping that your milk will be actually totally gone after a break is a bit optimistic, tbh. Easier to persuade your DC that they've "drunk it all" rather than it actually being the case, I think.

The only drug that I think will dry your milk up (and even then it mightn't work immediately) is the medication they give to women who can't conceive because of excessive prolactin production, and that can have nasty side effects.

Whyriskit · 09/03/2013 11:56

You have my sympathies, I was in a v similar situation. Worked part-time, DS2 coped no problem with me being away but when I was home he was still a total boob monster.
I really just started telling him that there was no more milk. DH dealt with all mornings and putting to bed.
DS2 also liked lots of cuddles and 6 months on will still give my boobs a wee kiss. I'm pg again and one of the first things he said was "new baby get mummy boob!".
Good luck!

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