1st Timer needs advise re: best formula to use

[SpringChicken]

Sorry, i know there have probably been hundreds of threads about this already but i didn't look!

I am expected our first baby in July - have decided that i will be bottle feeding the baby but am a bit unsure of the for's and against's with different type's of milk.

I know there are lots of options, SMA, Cow & Gate etc etc but just wondered how you go about choosing which formula to use?

Any idea's welcome

Thanks

Yes she is Coddy. Cos she has eczema apparantly it's better to stay on formula till 2 than switch to cow's milk. Don't know why as formula is made from cow's milk but apparantly is true.

Carton of aptamil is 59p ish
Big thing of powder is £6.00 ish (for follow on) and £7.00 ish for newborn. There are 900g powder in one of those. No idea how much that makes though.

spring chicken - not really got anything else to add to some excellent advice/comments other than please do give breastfeeding a go. If it doesn't work out then you can always go to formula but, if it works for you, it is definitely worth it.

Elena2: I gather that people get into a routine with bottlefeeding and they all assure me once you have the routine it's no big deal. Overwhelms me, but I presume I could get used to it if necessary, too.

But whenever blokes say they want to get fully involved... I just think "right...Sure, get started now, then, why don't you? And just keep it up, you go buy things and research all the options, ok?" I think we all know that it's a pretty rare couple where the woman doesn't end up doing the large bulk of babycare. Especially preparation of & feeding from bottles.

To be fair, my man has never shirked cleaning a dirty bottom, calming a ratty baby, entertaining them while I went for a run or had a bath -- not least because he's immensely grateful that he doesn't get saddled with bottle preparation or night-feeds. He'll tell anybody that breastfeeding is a huge plus in his eyes, because he misses out on all that faff.

zebra, have to say my dp was great at sterilising bottles and making them up but i'd fret that he'd "do it wrong"

Just to pick up on something zebra said. There are threads somewhere on here where I am in tears because DH wanted to get involved with feeding and buy a breast pump and give DD2 EBM, and I was scared of nipple confusion. Pah!! he's fed her TWICE and we have a freaking freezer full of EBM. I agree there are other ways for the closeness to happen. Either way best of luck Jems.

I breastfed for 2 whole days, and was still congratulated by my GP?! I just didn't get on with it, but I was never really that committed. I had my cartons of ready made SMA in the cupboard before DS was born. (I still have the necessary attendant guilt tho' ) My breastfeeding friends that have since switched all moan about the faff but I think if you never really know any different you just get on with it.

Ready Made cartons are a godsend, so I would definitely chose a brand that does them. I used cartons for the first few weeks and then made myself try the SMA powder. My little sensitive flower couldn't digest it and screamed after every feed. I was secretly delighted as it meant I had a valid reason to be lazy and profiligate!

I think the night feed thing has its pros and cons: on the one hand i can see that just rolling over and offering a boob is miles easier than going downstairs and warming bottles etc on the other hand when you are desperately tired, your baby wakes up every two hours, and you really need a night off your dh, mum, sister, passer by on the street can take over!

Also (looks over both shoulders and whispers).. despite reading EVERYWHERE that you shouldn't warm the bottle in the microwave I always have - as long as you ALWAYS shake the bottle and test it is fine. Just practice the timings and quantities first.

Zebra - think you meant that reply to be to Mum2Ela, not me?

Men getting involved with feeding because they want to bond???? Men can do everything else, and they show the baby that love doesn't have to come with food and drink attached to the package - this is a good and loving message to demonstrate.

Men cal also be proud that their partner is giving something wonderful and live-giving, and they can support this when people around are making suggestions that the baby is too old/too big/too small to continue on breastmilk. They can counter the suggestion - often made - that the bf mother is 'selfish' because she won't let anyone else 'have a go' with the baby (as if the baby was a shiny new bike bought for Xmas that you don't want to share round the neighbourhood).

Bonding has very little to do with feeding. Bonding is something that grows out of love and closeness.

Sounds to me that Springchicken does have all the arguments why not to BF... what I would suggest is for SC to speak to women and SEE women who breastfeed successfully.... clearly she doesn't know anyone who has.... but ther are plenty of out there.

BTW - formula feeding cost £450/year on average. Think of all the stuff you can buy with that money... and if BF is hard at first get a FREE BF counselor involved !

I have always stayed away from the breast v bottle debate on this site because I don't want to get involved in arguments about it (don't know enough about the research etc to argue educatedly).

However, I think when someone is asking for genuine factual advice about bottle feeding (ie rather than should I or shouldn't I?)she should be able to get that advice without the attendant "you should breast feed you know - go on just try it".

Then to go on to question the reasons stated for erring towards bottle feeding and say that they are not valid seems .... well a bit rude really.

Lamin

Whilst I understand you point I wish someone had said some of the supportive things and given me some of the info that Springchicken has been given whilst I was expecting my 1st.

My reasons for bottlefeeding were mostly the same as hers (with a few extra ones) However what no-one told me was that about 6 weeks after I had dd I would really really really regret not trying. Fair enough if it hadn't worked and I had switched but I can't forgive myself for not trying.

I had some appalling advice and information from midwives on things like expressing and mixed feeding. At the end of the day despite what dh said whilst I was pregnant it was me who did most of the feeds and me who had all these maternal feelings I hadn't accounted for.

I think what people were trying to do was gently probe why Springchicken had come to this decision in case it was something they could help with or some misconception.

I am due my 2nd baby in 6 weeks time and am stilll very nervous about breastfeeding but I am going to at least try and hopefully put to rest some of my demons.

Lamin - SC did say: "just at the moment leaning more towards bottle feeding" - so it is fair for other women to share why they feel she should try.

To be honest I genuinely wonder if she even knows the benefits of BF for baby AND herself.... and the tender breast issue - isn't one.... many (if not all of us) have tender breasts in pregnancy - it is quite different postnatally....

Lamin, this is a discussion board, and like all discussions and conversations, it takes different paths.

Like many threads on MN, this one has meandered a bit, and that's good

People bring different aspects of their own knowledge and experience, as well as their opinions to the original question.

The discussion has been non-critical of anyone personally.

At the very great risk of being very unpopular (which would be a great shame to me as i love mumsnet and lots of people on it) i have wanted to say what Lamin just said all day!
SpringChicken came on asking for advice about a specific issue and only very few have advised on that question and others have tried to persuade her otherwise! I realise everyone has their hearts in the right place but this is the first time i've seen a thread like this on mumsnet. She hardly got ANY replies to her original qeustion in which she'd already stated that she had MADE her desicion.
I know i may be pounced on but i have felt this all day!

Maybe SpringChicken is the one who should comment whether she felt hassled?

I wasn't hassling -- not trying to. Just expressing skepticism that husband saying he wanted to be fully involved was a particularly good reason to bottlefeed, because most husbands aren't half-as-involved as they could be, or often even as they really intended to be.

And besides I didn't have any fundamental to add to the main question, because Aloha already said it our midwife in antenatal class was adament that all formulae were equivalent so might as well just buy the cheapest one. She did spend a lot of time showing us exactly how to measure the powder and water out precisely, though, because a local baby had recently died from well-intentioned parents adding an extra scoop to the bottle.

(That is not to ignore the fact that breastfeeding can go wrong, too.)

You took the words right out of my mouth Angeliz, i@ve been wondering wether to post all day. I completely agree breast feeding is best for baby but not right for everyone. I made the decision to bottle feed both times round for different reasons and although neither of my dc have been easy feeders i don't regret it. I would have been quite upset if I had asked for advice about one thing and been advised to do something else I'm not getting at anyone as all the posts do seem to have been very understanding if SC didn't want to breast feed but perhaphs we should have stuck to the original query rather than trying to convert. Sorry if too outspoken but it's made me think all day and also feel I'm not doing the right thing by ds by bottlefeeding.

Oh and haven't even answered question myself
I used SMA Gold with dd, she had reflux and had to have medication, didn't change milk as wasn't the 'done' thing then to swap about. Started with same for ds but changed to Omneo comfort after 2 weeks as 'faffy' feeder and very windy. Much more settled now. Have heard good things about Aptamil too but would steer clear of SMA Gold again.

Glad it's not just me then. I think i felt for her as it is hard to get any info on bottle feeding and wanted to help more!

Angeliz & Clairabelle, actually SpringChicken has already posted that she was very grateful for the advice and there had been points made that she hadn't considered (eg about the possibility of mixed feeding) and was pleased to see raised. She also said that she hadn't actually completely decided one way or the other but had some worries about breastfeeding which I and others have tried to reassure her about. I think everyone has been very respectful of her and in no way bullying at all. I'm not attacking you at all, but I do wonder if this is more, esp in your case Clairabelle to do with your feelings than SpringChicken's. I noticed you talked about feeling as if you weren't doing the right thing by not breastfeeding - yes, guilt goes with the motherhood package, but I don't think it's unknown for women to regret not breastfeeding.

Everyone feels at some point in their parenting they are not doing the right thing - this is part and parcel of having children.

Immunise, not immunise; leave with a childminder, leave with a nanny, stay at home and not leave with anyone; work part time, work full time; send to state school, or private school, or home educate; stay in touch with horrible ex, or sever all contact; have birthday parties at home or hire the local fast food joint....

You get the picture.

You see these issues aired all the time on MN, and for heavens sake, we have a discussion!! it doesn't take away all the feelings of not doing the right thing and worrying about it.

No one has bullied SC or anyone else; no one has tried to convert. We have shared information and experience.

I don't want anyone to feel bad about their choices or feel bad about things which were not even choices, but something forced upon them.

But I have to say that feeling bad is part of being a grown up person with responsibilities towards people who are very far from being grown up - it's not the only part, as most of do a whole lot of stuff that makes us feel good, too. Thank goodness

Well said aloha. If she had tried to bf and then decided .... but she hasn't tried yet, so may be pleasantly surprised. Some of her reasons for doing it will probably not be born out (men and formula mixing aseptically do not go together IMO), the hassle of bottles (I've done both and lobbing out a boob is definitely easier).
Pain and inability to do it is a good reason not to bf, but she isn't at that stage yet, so it would be irresponsible of us not to comment. In the end, she'll do what feels best, armed with pros and cons from everyone.

I mixed fed DS1 using SMA (don't know why that brand). DS2 was fully bf until 6 months, and I now use a combination of b/feeding and SMA progress or Aptamil for older babies. He has cows milk on cereal (he's 19 months). I like using follow-on milks for the extra vitamins.

Sorry if I've upset anyone by my post and you're quite right SC has said she's grateful and some things have come up which she hasn't considered so that's great, however I had acknowledged this and certainly didn't mention bullying. I really don't want to get into a 'war of words'but was just trying to make the point(obviously not very well) it can be quite isolating making a decision to bottle feed with little advice available. With hindsight as Zebra said it was probably up to SC to decide if she was offended or not. Thanks for your concern about my feelings towards breastfeeding aloha.