Positive vibes thread for mums with BF problems

[Zara1984]

Hi all

My DS is 6 days old and BF is not going great. Having difficulty getting him to latch, he's on expressed breast milk. The immediate fog of distress has lifted but I'm still sometimes feeling confident I'll be able to get him on the boob, but other times feeling like a failure :( like right now :(

I thought I would start a positive vibes thread for other ladies who are having problems. Like listing stuff we are doing that is awesome. Here is my pathetic list:

• despite a rough start my DS is now giving lots of wet dirty nappies from all the expressed milk I'm giving him
• my DS looks at me with so much I love I know he really doesn't care how I feed him, he just wants to be close to me all the time
• I had a shower and brushed my hair today
• he managed to latch and suck for 30 minutes today with mw help!!
• I sent a super-positive pep talk/confidence boosting text to my boss whose wife had a cs today and I know would be feeling terrified.

Sorry my list is not very long... but you get the idea....

Fantastic makachu! What amazing determination.

Massive respect makachu!

Well it's like one step forward two steps back a bit here. He only had 2 latches/feeding sessions yesterday. This morning managed to get him 20 min on left (laying down) and 10 mins on right (football hold, reluctantly by him). He really prefers left boob when he takes the boob at all

I think he's still hungry tho!!!! After spending an hour on this I'm about to give him an hour of expressed then try get some sleep

DS always used to prefer left to right. DH concluded the left was chocolate flavoured and the right was clearly Brussels sprouts. He takes both sides happily now.

Keep it up!

Hey Zara, so glad to hear you're getting things started! Must feel great that he's finally latching!
Still no latch here, even my midwife and a bf support worker said it just seems l;ike she has no idea what to do with the nipple. At some stage I might have to accept it is not going to happen, but for now I'll keep trying. At 1 week old, I am now expressing 160-200ml every 3-4 hours so she is getting my milk. As she is still slightly jaundiced, it is currently more important to get the milk in her than establish breastfeeding. That's the only thing that will clear out her liver. My positive statements for today are:

1. I'm doing my best and she is getting my milk
2. The only problem is the inconvenience of pumping. There is no bonding problem. I am completely in love with her.
3. I think her jaundice is getting better by the day. Maybe in a few days I can speak to the la leche people and start getting bf established. But for now, I accept that I can't because she just needs to feed well and often to get b etter

londonmrs wow that's an awesome amount of milk you're expressing!!!! Fantastic! I know what you mean about expressing regularly being a pain - DS latched on left for 30mins just now, but am paranoid about my supply so I'm currently hooked up to the machine to get 15 mins out of the right.

It absolutely is about getting the nourishment into the baby at the end of the day. That is my primary objective.

Nowhere near out of the woods here yet. Mw was frank with me today and yesterday (after hearing me weepily ramble for 15 mins in my pjs, can't manage ever to shower before she gets here) and said to give it another week.

DMIL and I (who had no probs bf her DCs) agree that before this past week we were guilty of thinking that women who said they couldn't bf were a bit lazy/not committed. How absolutely and completely wrong we were. We both feel ashamed and naive for have ever thought that!! Whatever happens with bf DS I am going to be quite vocal whenever I hear anyone who makes comments insinuating as much.

Things I am grateful for today:

• DS latching 4 times, 2 of those in cradle hold
• the 4 bottles of milk I've managed to build up in the fridge
• everyone who has seen DS says he is an exceptionally beautiful baby and looks like the kind you'd see in a TV advert/on nappy packets
• I feel strong enough to take him for a walk in his pram for the first time today!!! Wish me luck!

Oh and am also grateful for mw discharging me and baby to public health nurse care. I'll take this as a sign she thinks I'm competent enough to keep DS alive!

Question about pumping - had a successful 30 min latch this evening on left boob. Should I express other boob??? He fell asleep after nursing on left, is asleep now. The feed before that I did express opposite boob, but then he woke up an hour later and I think there wasn't much in either boob for him then, he seemed frustrated and i couldnt get much out with hand expression, had to give him bottle of expressed.

So if eg I am lucky and he latches on right boob at 8pm, it will have been 4-5 hours since there was any action on that boob.... Is that ok???

Hello all you brave and tenacious ladies. I just like to chip in on bf threads, because I had a painful start myself, and tell you all it is worth the agony and the exhaustion of the first few weeks it really does get better and is such a wonderful thing to do. Keep going one feed at a time and keep asking for help if you need it.

Also, for support:

La Leche League
National Breastfeeding Helpline
Sure Start Bf clinics
NCT Bf counsellors
And the fabulous kellymom website

She just latched! It was only for 6 minutes and it was with a nipple shield, but it really happened. Screw anyone who says don't use a shield- it's the first time she has fed from me rather than the expressed milk and I'm thrilled.

Yay londonmrs that's awesome!!!!

Ok, no sucking (bar 5 mins over it at 11pm feed). But I am grateful that DH and I got more sleep between the expressed bottle feeds. Still attempted putting him on each boob at start, middle and end of bottle feed (while expressing). I feel like we have a bit more of a system to manage the current situation, that makes me happy!!!

Also am grateful for mw advice yesterday to warm baby's bed with a hot water bottle before putting him in, he actually settles in it now. Was freaking out yesterday morning that this was another new problem developing!!!!

I am also grateful for DS' gummy smiles. Ok I know it's gas and he's not actually smiling yet, but I still love seeing it!!

Zara Has your MW, lactation consultant or HV shown you how to syringe or cup-feed your DC? Swapping between a bottle teat and your boob may be confusing him, hence why he's not latching consistently onto you. They don't generally recommend introducing a bottle until breast feeding is well-established for this reason - a baby will always go for a bottle teat because it's much easier to suck on, and may become uninterested in boob altogether.

Worth discussing if you see anyone today. x

elpha cup or syringe would've been my preferred method but the hospital and midwives would not let me do it or provide supplies - they said its too dangerous as I'm not trained

Zara sounds like they're the ones who aren't trained. My friend was shown how to do this by mws to feed her preemie baby

That's one of those crazy differences you get from area to area. I was never 'trained' - just given a cup by the midwife and told to do it at his next feed! (He's still alive, by the way, BFing like a champ, and has only had 3oz of formula in his life.)

I would check again with your lactation consultant/midwife/HV because they may well have a completely different take on it as the NHS recommendation is that babies of that age are cup-fed. If latching is your main problem, use of a bottle is really not going to help at all, and in fact, may undermine things. I would encourage you to persist with that one since you're so (brilliantly) determined to continue with breast feeding. Here's your daily flowers

I was told by one mw that they don't give out syringes or advise syringe feeding, then the bf specialist brought me an NHS kit with syringes, bags etc. and showed me how to use them.

It's definitely worth asking someone else.

Thanks to those who were so supportive when I posted before. My baby had gained 5g at his weight check yesterday so I am ok to continue bf as long as he keeps going in the right direction. I am a first time mum and it was hard to have confidence in what I wanted to do but I am so glad I stood my ground and gave him a chance to thrive on my milk alone, which is now much more abundant leaky.

Flowers for you too, blonder. It's so hard to stand your ground when you get conflicting advice. Keep reminding yourself - breast milk has more calories than formula (not to mention its long list of other magical ingredients). Fill him to the gills with that (switch feed, switch feed, switch feed) and you won't be able to even get formula top-ups into him for all the good stuff he's getting.

Zara These are for your mother in law who sounds fab.

Don't want to miss the lovely Londonmrs out either.