long-term breast feeding: when / why stop?

[Evita]

I'm still breast feeding my 14 month old daughter morning and night and wondering why and when to stop. I know a lot of people stop for specific reasons like problems / health / returning to work, but for those people who have breast fed a long time without any particular concerns, what's the reason and best time to stop? At the moment she and I are quite happy with things but I know it will have to stop at some point.

DS2 is coming up to 2. I've always said I would stop at 2- figure picked a bit out of the air, but apparently 2 years of Bfeeding gives 10 years of protection against hib, and he's unvaccinated so thought that reason was as good as any to carry on. When he reaches 2 I'll probably start to wind down and get him to just a bedtime feed then drop that around March as we get into Spring. He's getting a bit bossy about it all now so its a good time to stop.

DS1 weaned himself at 13 months, if ds2 had wanted to stop earlier I would have.

As she gets bigger and more interested in drinking other liquids than mummy's milk, out of cups which flow faster than mummy's boobies, she will become less interested in you and feeding will become less and less about milk, and more about comfort and snuggles. If she goes through any periods of being unwell you may find that she wants you more for a while, but eventually her need for you will tail off if you do not encourage it, and use distraction to take her mind off wanting a feed/suck.

If you are happy with the situation then keep going for as long as you want.

I weaned DD1 when she was about 14 months as I needed to go on medication, and I was quite upset about it. This time I have b/f compatible medication so will go as long as DD2 wants.

FWIW WHO recommend till 2 if possible, but I really think its what ever works for you and baby.

Thanks for the responses everyone. I thought I would stop at 6 months, then at 1 year, now it's currently planned for 18 months but I can sort of see it going on for a while longer than that. I'd stop of course if she stopped being interested but at the moment as she's not really a cuddly sort of gal it gives us a couple of nice snuggly moments together each day. Also I won't have any more kids now so I want to make the most of it. Do they start to show weird psychological things though if you carry on for much longer than 14 months?

No!!!
All the EN children I know are just as balanced as anyone else, don't worry too much and enjoy it

No they do not! Although it can become tricky when they give your breasts a name and try to help themselves whilst out and about on the bus etc. My dd, now 16, was fed 'til 26mths and called it 'mummies milkies'. Soooo embarassing!!
She is now the most wonderful 16yr old ever and very good and caring to everyone.

My daughter already pats and points to my breasts and tries to lift my top and calls my breasts 'boodum' which I think is very sweet but slightly embarrassing in public! Since I've stopped her day feeds though she's definitely calmed down about doing that and begun to associate breast feeding with pajamas and darkness.

Evita I fed DS1 until he was 16 months but had decided that it would be up to DS2 when we stopped, for him that was 16 months, I was surprised as I was happy to continue but found it a positive end to things. I don't believe you would cause any psychological damage by continuing past 14 months. It's a lovely time enjoy it for as long as you and your DD want, don't worry about other people.

Demented, it was 16 months for my DS1 too, and he stopped of his own accord.

Evita, that would seem to be the key, just do it unitl one of you senses it should stop. FYI I do have a friend who BF her boy, just a quick slurp at night until she had to force him to go cold turkey at 21 months. He has an absolute fascination with boobs now, even has a grab at his grandmas, maybe this is just a boy thing.

Yes, I have a friend whose little boy is like that too, maybe that's why I'm asking! I think he finds me rather uninteresting as my breasts are, ahem, somewhat insubstantial looking.

I think it really is a boy thing, so don't worry.
Do be prepared for the moment they finally decide they are happy to finish feeding, I was heartbroken for days, I took it really personally. But then your breasts become wholy sexual again and that, of course is lots of fun.

Well, you haven't seen my breasts ... or what's left of them ... rather sad little things. I think I will be sad to stop, at the moment I think my daughter would too but I expect that to change and will go with it when she does. Then again she may not change. A friend of mine breast fed for AGES and at her daughter's 3rd (!!!) birthday party, the daughter walked into the middle of the room where guests were gathered to sing Happy Birthday, pointed at her mom and shouted 'booby!' A rather red faced mom tried to dissuade her but things were put on hold until the required booby was had.

Evita, I shudder at tales like that.
FYI my DS1 is perfectly fine, in fact rather indifferent, with me BF ds2, and it's me that harps on to him that he used to get the same treatment, he's ' yeah whatever, mama'.

The oldest I ever heard of was a 6 year old, but that was the child of a LLL counsellor.

I fed ds until he was 11 months and dd was 10 months and this was only because they got their first teeth and started to bite, which although didn't hurt it felt right to give them a beaker of milk then. I would continue for as long as poss if you feel comfortable with it, it is the best start in life for your child and that snuggliness is so nice.

I've heard of six-year-olds being BF at night still...I have to say I wouldn't want to be BFing dd1, who's nearly three. She's too damn chatty - imagine disrupting a conversation to feed...

6 years old!!! You'd have thought by 6 the child themselves found it a bit strange. Well, don't think I'll carry on that long. At the moment I'm just going to carry on and see what happens.

It's good to hear all these stories from people. Thanks.

Really nice to read this thread - I'm still breastfeeding my dd morning and evening at 17 months (plus mid afternoon on the odd days we're actually at home together). Until recently I haven't been able to imagine what it would be like not feeing her, she's always loved her feeds and would snuggle in for 30 minutes in the morning! But gradually she is less keen on feeding - she's just too busy and into chatting. She'll pop off the boob to say things to me, or giggle. And I can now see the day when the feeds will end. I think my plan is to carry on just morning and evening for a couple of months and then move to morning only. I guess I'd like to still be feeding her when she's 2, as per the WHO, but if she wants to stop before then I'll follow her lead.

My dd is 12, and seems to be close to weaning herself, but I'm really in two minds about it. I can't imagine why, because she's been a very difficult feeder, and it will be nice not only to have sexual breasts again, but also for them not to be constantly bruised and scratched. Unlike everyone else, the first feed we'll drop will be the bedtime feed! Still, I'll miss it. But what replaces the feed?

Same here as lots of others in this thread:
I really can't see any harm in continuing as long as child and mum are both happy..? If she has enough she will stop herself, I'm sure (that's what happened with us anyway - daughter lost interest at 18 months and just stopped; ditto for 13 month old nephew: other things just became more interesting...).

ds gradually stopped when he was 26 mo (think it was a good way to comfort him, especially when he had a bad fall although perhaps a bit embarrasing in the middle of the street). Don't think he got much milk in the end when I got pregnand with dd. Interestinglely when dd was born 2 mo later, ds had completely lost interest and associated bf with "baby". dd now 9 mo and no signs of losisng interest.

I'm glad you started this thread, because DS2, 19 months, is still addicted and very demanding. He is terrible through the night lately, and will attach himself for hours. He can't talk, but knows what boobies are and often tries to help himself in public. I have tried refusing and distracting, but he has hysterics.
I'd be grateful for any ideas.

I was of the belief that extended bf was a good thing. However, someone I know was bf her 2 year old as she too believed it to be the best thing for her child. However, the child, who was a picky eater, was often ill and also underweight for its age. She was advised to stop because the child was filling up on milk at a point where it should have been eating a far more varied diet and that, far from being beneficial for her health, bf was actually having a negative effect. As far as I know, stopping bf had the desired result.

That's interesting willow. He is sometimes a picky eater, but then sometimes ravenous. I try to keep bf to morning and night, well out of the way of meal-times, but I suppose if he is anticipating it..........perhaps I should go cold turkey.

This is my own personal experience (of course), but my dd's appetite seems to be completely unaffected by my continued breastfeeding of her at 17 months. She gets milk from me morning and evening and if we're at home she gets a feed after her afternoon nap too. She eats 3 good meals a day (often has two breakfasts when she's going to nursery). Plus snacks like fruit in between meals.

Having said all that - of course there are times when she doesn't eat. Either she doesn't like something, or she's not hungry, or she's too tired, or she's a bit unwell or she's decided she will not be fed by us and yet can't quite manage to wield her own spoon effectively enough to do it herself (am getting good at serving her very sticky 'stay on the spoon' food). When she doesn't want to eat I just take the food away - after a few days she's back to normal again.

I'm also interested in the whole issue of what to do about giving in to requests for breastfeeds - dd now says "booby" very clearly and lifts up my jumper! But so far I haven't had any requests other than at our normal feed times. I'd love to hear other people's experiences of feeding older and verbal toddlers and what they decided to do about feeding on request (sorry - seem to have changed the thread topic a bit, but was interested in Droile's quandary)