MIL just tried to bribe me to stop breastfeeding

[MeerkatMerkin]

DS is 20mo and has never slept through the night. He still wakes and has milk. It's not a massive problem for me as we co-sleep and I'm a SAHM.

MIL just said to me that if I promise never to breastfeed him again she will get up with him in the night every night until he settles and eventually sleeps through. Never mind the logistics of it (we live two hours away), I didn't realise how anti me feeding him still she is, and now I know and feel pissed off and uncomfortable.

I can't say anything as we're staying at hers. Just wanted to vent a bit. She is normally great, but I don't understand how someone who claims to be open-minded can be so offended by a toddler wanting milk!

Maybe her son has said something to her!

If you promise never to breastfeed him again...!

Does she think you are a toddler? Like you are doing something naughty she needs to correct.

BTW ds is 26 months and just slept through of his own accord and is still bf.

How rude of her! Is it a problem that he's cosleeping or would you like to move him to his own room?

this is really strange

why on earth does it matter to her?

How weird. Has she said anything before?
Clearly you told her to get stuffed?!

Oh meerkat, that is very sad and strange thing to say

how weird! Has she been anti-bf all along?

I must admit, when I wanted to get DS2 off I had to physcially leave him in the care of DH who slept with him to comfort him, but he was over 3.

She might just be iccky with the age thing, most peeps are ok with BF up to 6 months beyond that its a problem for them.

I am actually going to sue my own mother who refused to give me even one single BF and thefore F ing up my gut flora for life.

I can't believe how calm you are being about this. I am absolutely gobsmacked by the words 'if you promise never to breastfeed him again'.

If my MIL (or anyone else) said this to me, I would blow my top!

What a horrible thing for her to say!

GRRR!!! Hope you're not too upset.

None of her business what you're doing with bf. Only stop when it's right for you and DS.

Very odd way of putting it too. Can you ignore it and hope she'll take the hint?

I would be fuming if my MiL or indeed anyone said that to me. It's none of her business that you bf your toddler.

Perhaps she could make you a sticker chart and if you don't do it for three days in a row, you can pick something from the jar.

Ick

How horrible

I suppose she means that you would need to not breastfeed him again to make her teaching him to sleep through the night work . . . she won't want you undoing her work by breastfeeding him in the night after she has spent however many weeks getting him to sleep. That might be how she's thinking anyway.

Bloody weird thing to offer out of the blue! Have you complained to her about the disturbed sleep?

If not then she is clearly not really trying to help but is showing her true feelings about it. Weird.

I hope you're ok; that sounds very hurtful and manipulative

No, amother, my DH is very pro me feeding him! He knows it's magic and will shut him up soothe him when nothing else will!

I'm inwardly seething but I don't want to confront her as I'll end up having a massive go at her and upsetting DH so I just told her I wouldn't entertain the idea and changed the subject. I told DH afterwards and he said it was a bizarre thing for her to say.

I know she's got very different ideas to me about child rearing, she only breastfed her three for six weeks each until they "slept through so my milk dried up and I had to stop". Her best friend's DIL FFed her DS by choice and would go for sleepiness at nana's from birth so I think she's just feeling a bit sad that she doesn't have that same closeness with my DS (although he loves her and gets so excited about coming to see her!) like her friend does with her grandson. But all of that aside, a bit of tact doesn't go a miss! Not her strong point.

That's really rude! She must be concerned about the co sleeping and waking. How is it affecting DH?

Do you think she is jealous? of the closeness of your bond maybe?

Very strange.

Poo I haven't mentioned disturbed sleep to her, I don't have particularly disturbed sleep! He just latches on and gets on with it, I barely notice! He went to sleep in her bed last night and then apparently he woke about 10 times asking for mummy so I guess she just figured that's what it's like for me, but it's not because the co-sleeping works for us! In fact your analysis seems pretty spot on about not breastfeeding/sleeping/undoing things.

Sorry x posts there Meerkat.

I think a very firm thank you for your kind offer, but no thank you.

I will continue to BF your GC until we both want to stop and if that's after he starts school that's fine by me.

(my DD2 said she'd give up when she started school, she didn't)

Xmas, DS goes to bed in his room. He has a double futon. I go to bed with DH in our room and DS tends to wake between 1-3am asking for me, so I go in to him and sleep there for the rest of the night after feeding. It doesn't affect DH at all really.

choc, she thought it was great when he was a little baby, but she has asked a few times since he got bigger and we didn't stop, when we were going to stop.

I don't have any plans to stop until he wants to!

Isn't it funny how people support you in breastfeeding up to the 6 month mark, then they ask when you're going to stop!

My DH is very supportive of breastfeeding + co-sleeping with our DS who's 12 months old but his parents are quite disapproving. I'm often annoyed by comments they make about taking DS away for the night but I know they can't + I think they realise how dependent their grandson is on me + they don't like it.

Try not to take your MIL's comments to heart. You're in control! If she raises it again I think you should calmly make the point that you don't object to your DS waking in the night + that you love the fact you can soothe him so easily by breastfeeding.

Hopefully you'll feel that you've said enough to let MIL know where you stand without causing any tension. Good luck.