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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

MIL just tried to bribe me to stop breastfeeding

38 replies

MeerkatMerkin · 17/09/2012 21:51

DS is 20mo and has never slept through the night. He still wakes and has milk. It's not a massive problem for me as we co-sleep and I'm a SAHM.

MIL just said to me that if I promise never to breastfeed him again she will get up with him in the night every night until he settles and eventually sleeps through. Never mind the logistics of it (we live two hours away), I didn't realise how anti me feeding him still she is, and now I know and feel pissed off and uncomfortable.

I can't say anything as we're staying at hers. Just wanted to vent a bit. She is normally great, but I don't understand how someone who claims to be open-minded can be so offended by a toddler wanting milk!

OP posts:

Original poster

MeerkatMerkin · 17/09/2012 22:41

God she's just brought it up again, she says it's not normal for a child of his age not to sleep through the night!

I told her that all children are different.

If I'd had a wine or two I probably would have been more vocal about the bad taste her comment left in my mouth! For now I am going to take myself off to bed so I can MN in peace and bf my toddler!

OP posts:

Knittingmamma · 17/09/2012 22:42

Ds1 was bf and never slept through until 15 months (and fed until 18 months). Ds2 is bf and slept through at 13 weeks (and is still bf at 16 months). Bf has nothing to do with sleeping through! Just politely but firmly remind mil that you and your dh are happy with the choices you are making for you dc and to keep her well-intentioned but interfering beak out

WinkyWinkola · 17/09/2012 22:47

What's normal and since when is she or anyone an expert on everyone's sleep patterns?

My dcs were all 2+ before they slept through the night.

Hell, sometimes I don't sleep through - up for water, a wee, a bad dream etc etc.

It's nobody's business but yours, op. The words she uses suggests she has big issues with you bfing. Just do as you want regardless.

elfycat · 17/09/2012 22:48

DD1 was 2.5 before she slept through regularly. DD2 is 22 months and had only slept through a dozen times and has been on cow/ff pre bed for 6 months (sadly preferred moo-juice to mine - shrug). This is not the solution to sleeping through the night.

She's being very silly.

DoubleYew · 17/09/2012 22:53

This is a good site for what is normal when it comes to sleep if you want to bombard her. Also take a look at the MN Sleep section, plenty of families are waking. Sounds like you are coping with broken sleep very well and bf has so many advantages, eg ds just had a horrible cold and was off everything and very miserable except when bf.

kissyfur · 17/09/2012 22:54

Blimey some people eh, silly woman should mind her own business

It always makes me so sad when women are rude/judgey of other women who breastfeed. After all it's the most natural thing in the world!

Original poster

MeerkatMerkin · 17/09/2012 22:58

Thanks for the support, I am sad that she feels this way. DH and I are very relaxed in our approach to parenting and to be honest it doesn't matter to us if he sleeps through or not, our lifestyle allows for us to be flexible about things.

She's just tried to say she'll pay for us to go away for a week and leave DS with her, and when we come back apparently he'll be sleeping through the night perfectly!

As much as I'd like a holiday I had to politely decline. I know she loves DS and just wants to be close to him but sometimes it is so frustrating when other people try to foist their views on parenting upon you when your approach is fundamentallly opposite to theirs!

OP posts:

midori1999 · 17/09/2012 23:02

It's not normal for a baby to sleep through the night without waking up, nor an adult, for that matter. We wake plenty of times through the night, we just go straight back to sleep most of them, the same for children, but obviously children aren't daft and if they wake up you are there he will get back to sleep the way he knows how, breastfeeding.

It's none of your MIL's business and it's certainly not a problem if you don't consider it one.

5madthings · 17/09/2012 23:02

oh god that would soo fuck me off! i thought my mil was bad enough with her comments on how feeding past 6mths was 'unnecessary' well my children found it necessary and that was enough for me!

midori1999 · 17/09/2012 23:03

Perhaps you can tell her if she really wants to help, you'll be happy to accept a fully paid for holiday for you, DH and your DS...

Original poster

MeerkatMerkin · 17/09/2012 23:08

I have to admit, I love the sleepy feeds with DS. He is so peaceful and content and it makes a nice change from the acrobatic nursing he practises during the day!

I will work on trying to get that holiday midori.

OP posts:

PooPooOnMars · 18/09/2012 08:05

I think what she means is that she thinks its not normal for a child that age to be breastfeeding.

birdofthenorth · 18/09/2012 08:16

I hide the fact I am still feeding DD aged 24 mo once a day from most people, especially MIL and DM. It's just easier than having to justify it! Just got DD's 2 year health check forms through the post and was relieved they ask "is breast feeding continued?" as most people automatically phrase it "when did you stop?". Fwiw I only ever aspired to feed until 12 mo - it's DD who insists we continue, first thing in the morning, and I don't see any harm in it.

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