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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Another urgent request for HELP!

76 replies

CadMum · 06/03/2006 14:16

DD2 (our fourth would-be BF child) was born first thing Saturday morning (12:47 am) in a bottle-friendly US hospital. She was taken from me shortly after her birth and whisked off to a nursery. I had to beg and plead with the unsympathetic nurses to bring her back to me at 4:30 in the morning. They were adamant that she needed to be 'warmed' in the nursery but my hysterical tears eventually made them bring her round. Turns out she had had a bottle of formula whilst in their care because we had not specifically asked for her not to have one.Angry Angry Angry

To make a long story short: The same process was repeated on night 2 with Charlotte being taken at midnight depite my protests to be "weighed and for some observation". She was not returned until after some routine blood work at 2:45. I was not a happy camper. Am still really stressed.

I have no milk yet and I resorted to giving her a bottle of formula last night (a first ever for this mummy) as she was NOT going to feed no matter what I tried.

Is all lost?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 06/03/2006 14:18

Congratulations and sympathy for such a start at the hospital

I'm sure all is not lost

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 14:19

No - but if you do want to b/feed stop giving her formula.

It can take up to 5 days for milk to come in. In the meantime you are providing her with colustrum which is enough for her for the time being. The more you b/feed her, the more it will stimulate your milk into coming in.

Try and relax, feed her whenever she wants.

Im sure tiktok will be along in a mo with more useful advice Smile

jellyjelly · 06/03/2006 14:20

No, all is notlost, have you put her to your breast yet? Colostrum is very important as it has all of your immunity in it so dont worry about not having milk in yet, it doesnt come in until approx day 3-5. Have you got breastfeedign counsellors in usa?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 14:20

Oh, and congratulations Smile

From personal experience - my DS (my second child) didnt latch well naturally - he had to learn. Stick with it and try and feed with your top off and her in just her nappy with a blanket over you both - lots of skin to skin contact is meant to be brilliant.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 14:21

Ive also heard people suggest trying to feed while you are both in the bath together.

AGain - lots of skin to skin contact.

tiktok · 06/03/2006 14:25

CadMUm - don't let them separate you. It's your baby. Have her right next to you, in bed, tucked up, skin to skin....if they take her away for weighing and obs, go with her, and bring her back.

Nothing , absolutely nothing, is more fundamental to successful bf than keeping mothers and babies together.

Don't force her to feed. Let her chill out at your breast and make sure you respond, gently, to those early feeding cues.

Write to the hospital afterwards and tell them how crap they are.

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 15:12

Thanks...

Am well and truly a mess. I feel like the worst mother EVER! I could not get them to listen when I asked them not to take her.

I am so glad that she is my fourth but I am really worried.

I cannot get her to latch.

I spent the night (at home) with her last night in my bed but she would not feed (hence the reason I resorted to the formula at 5:30)...

She is not looking jaundiced (thank heavens) but she has NO interest whatsoever in being fed and her lips are looking dry. How long can I let her go without even the colostrum (I thought that she needed to be offered the breast every 2 hours but it has been 10 hours since she has even tried to feed and I only gave her 1 ounce of the formula at 5:30.)

I am desperate for sleep. Trying to relax as I understand how fundamental that is to the whole process but with 3 older children and my parents to amuse this is no easy task.

All help/advice appreciated.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 15:17

Oh dont feel bad! Its obviously been a bit of a rough ride. Dont blame yourself. No doubt your hormones are all over the place too.

Try and relax.

Lots of skin to skin contact - in the bath or just together under a blanket to keep you both warm.

Is she crying for a feed and then refusing your breast?

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 15:31

Yes. She alternates between calm alertness and crying whilst rooting but she will not latch on.

I am truly puzzled.

She did latch on properly moments after her birth but it has been off and on since. OFF since 11pm last night.

I am off to try a bath. Mum has suggested a beer. Bless her...

OP posts:
kiskidee · 06/03/2006 15:35

i think if your parents are there, they should be amusing your other 3 instead of you amusing them. see if they can take your other 3 out for the day (and night hopefully at theirs) so you can have quality time with your newborn and sort out the feeding.

that is the biggest help they can be imho.

get in a warm bath with baby. you will both love it.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 15:49

Yep - have a bath together.

My DS didnt seem to know how to latch. It drove me to utter distraction. She will get there.

Isnt there a home visiting midwife/HV that can come and see you? (dont know how things work where you are)

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 16:09

Don't know how things work here either... I am Canadian and our first two were born there. DS2 was a serene home-birth in London...

The peadiatrician thought that I should traipse baby back to their office today for a check up since I insisted on leaving a day earlier than would allow for 48 hours of obs...

I should look for a local LLL as they were a real help with DS1 who was IUGR and jaundiced.

I just thought that I was prepared for anything and I am so overwhelmed.

My parents are here from Canada and Dad has taken the older 3 to the park. Mum is on had to help me out.

Charlotte HATED the whole bath plan. I loved it and will be off to bed feeling more relaxed.

Still no success with feeding.. How long can I let this go on?

OP posts:
Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 16:10

Wish I had milk so that I could express at least....

My plan is to RELAX and hope that helps.

OP posts:
tiktok · 06/03/2006 16:15

CadMum - I feel very sad for you....you have been treated really badly.

Be patient and gentle. She may have been messed about with in hospital (was there some head ramming???) and this can turn some babies off.

This is what you need to do - being directive here, because a baby going 10 hours without feeding is not good

  • express colostrum by hand and give it to her on a spoon or syringe
  • do this every hour or so - she needs the fluid
  • just be gentle and let her set the pace with the breastfeeding
  • have a bath with her
  • call any of the helplines in the UK or call LLL in the US
  • check her nappy - it should be wet (or heavy if you are using sposies) and she shuld be passing meconium which by now should have a tinge of brown or green in it (not as black and tarry as before)

Be patient and gentle and close with her - she will come round.

fishie · 06/03/2006 16:16

cadmum, poor you. ds didn't latch on for 5 days (they'd given him a bottle of formula in the hospital too) and i was beside myself. i cup fed small amounts of formula, but (with hindsight) probably not enough, hopefully someone who knows will be along to advise you on this. skin to skin really helped, just keep at it and it'll be fine in the end Smile

fishie · 06/03/2006 16:17

oh good hooray for tiktok. (wish i'd known all that 10 months ago)

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 16:31

Am not having any success with hand expressing (never a strong suit for me, I'm afraid). I will try my utmost.

As for now she is asleep again having not latched on. I did manage to drip into her mouth so her lips were wet but she would NOT latch on.

She weed on the way into the bath and was poopy. It is still black and tarry but less sticky.

I will keep a jounrnal so that I know where I am and what I am doing.

OP posts:
tiktok · 06/03/2006 16:40

CadMum, if you get 5 ml of colostrum at any one time, you are doing great.

Hand express onto a tablespoon - don't even think about putting it into a bottle for her as half of it will get stuck on the sides. Just squeeze what you can out - this might be all you can do at the moment. 'Proper' expressing with the massaging and stuff is only really effective later. Put your fingers and thumb about an inch away from the end of the nipple and catch the drips on the spoon. Your mum can stick the spoon into boiling water for a minute or so - that will get it clean enough.

Then tip the colostrum into a little egg cup (similarly treated), and spoon it from there, or tip the egg cup to her lips and let her slurp a bit.

bluejelly · 06/03/2006 16:41

Call LLL. They are fantastic. Can't recommend highly enough

koolkat · 06/03/2006 17:43

CadMum - so sorry to hear such bad treatment Sad

DO NOT GIVE UP !

My son would not latch no matter what for FOUR DAYS. On the evening of the 4th day he finally latched and very quickly he was on my boobs 5 - 10 minutes at a time. I now have a 20 month old bf toddler !

Never gave in to formula despite his distress and screams. But luckily I was at home with helpful hubby, not on a hospital ward with pushy mw's.

I did go thro' a rather longish labour (he is my first - he had a very strange cone shaped head when born naturally). It may have been the reason he didn't latch...not sure.

Sadly I did not have the experince or knowledge to hand express. I wish I had.

Advice: lots of skin to skin contact, lots of offering the boob even if she doesn't latch, hand express, don't confuse her with formula and teats, and she WILL latch.

Please call LLL - they will help you over the phone.

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 17:54

I really cannot thank you all enough for your help and advice.

As usual MN is amazing. It would be hard to worry about the baby at this point as she has just had another wet nappy and had a dirty one only an hour ago. She just doesn't seem interested in feeding.

I am the one who is hysterical so I need to formulate a plan and then run with it. Good to be reminded that others have been here and seen their way to the other side.

Tiktok: If she only gets a few drops of colostrum will this sustain her for the hour? Is it possible for a mother to be so stressed that her milk does NOT come in?

OP posts:
Hausfrau · 06/03/2006 17:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiktok · 06/03/2006 19:12

Your milk will come in for sure, CadMum...stress will have no effect on that.

I said to express hourly to allow for the fact you may only produce a few drops at a time....she doesn't need very much at all for the moment, as long as she has something.

Nappies sound good, and reassuring :)

Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 20:36

Thank you... I am so glad that you are still here. Just wanted to let you know that I did manage to express a few drops of colostrum every hour and then at 1:30 nearly 2 oz of MILK!!!

WOO HOO! My mum fed her with an medecine dropper while Charlotte sucked my finger and then she latched on and fed for England. She sucked hard enough that I even felt after-pains for the first time.

I feel as though I have seen the light at the end at the end of the tunnel here. DH suggested very ceremoniously dumping all of the formula down the sink like you would dump an alcoholic's bottle. I really wish that I had never brought it home. What a surreal experience. DH would have every right to ask the hospital to have his 'real wife' back.

Thank you again to all who replied. I will keep you informed.

OP posts:
Original poster
CadMum · 06/03/2006 20:38

(To clarify, I am 5 hours behind you... It is still 3:38 here.)

OP posts:
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