Anyone else think feeding protests are freakshows??

[booomy]

I was at my local breastfeeding group last week, when this was bought up in discussion:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2168820/Gang-lactivists-cafe-protest-waitress-told-breastfeeding-mother-Don-t-come-t--again.html

My initial reaction was good for her, can't believe someone would say that to a mother bf her baby. (Still BF my 11mo DS). When I got home and read the article and saw the photos, I was actually angry. In my opinion, these women have made bf a freakshow. The total opposite of all the work going towards making breastfeeding as a normal thing to do.

There is no way that the cafe owner should of got away with what happened. However, when 200 people turn up with signs that say 'mother suckers', I don't think anyone that saw them/read the article went home and said to their friends "oh I saw a wonderful thing earlier, loads of women protesting against ill treatment of their bf friend". What they probably said was "ewwww 200 people with their boobs out!!!"

Surely if the woman had said to the owner/waitress, a response such as i'll finish feeding then leave since i;m legally allowed to. Then contacted the local press, all the people in the cafe would of seen the owners as being the unreasonable rude ones, while an innocent mother fed her baby. The press attention may not of been as big, however it would of been the positive publicity bf needs. The situation was resolved, the cafe owner now has a sign saying 'bf welcome here'. He gave out coffee and cake to everyone there so obviously was sorry for what happened and so I don't see what the point was!

As a 'normal' mum, I had preconceptions about people that bf before I was pregnant. I'm a young mum and none of my friends breastfed. I try to encourage others to bf by just acting as though it's no big deal - which it isn't. I'm not going to go to a mass protest, or reply to everyone on twitter (like other mums and my bf group do). Sorry for the rant, but I want to just be normal and by drawing uncessary attention like this is making it seem as though bf is an issue, it's not!

I'd be interested in what others think of this issue!

Nope I disagree!

The 200 at that cafe, may have good intentions, but they are not the people who are doing anything for the cause/changing the law. I may have got stick for saying this in my earlier post but the majority of people wouldn't of thought"good for them" but would of been like "put them away". Because of the nature of the topic. I honestly don't believe it had any positive outcome for the bf cause!

No, no I don't think feeding protests are freakshows

Not my kind of thing but most certainly not freakshows

Hth

"I may have got stick for saying this in my earlier post but the majority of people wouldn't of thought"good for them" but would of been like "put them away"."

And you know this how?

"I honestly don't believe it had any positive outcome for the bf cause!"

Aside from the fact that the owner of the cafe had to apologise? Or the fact that it is now in the papers that it is illegal to stop bf in public? Nope, no positives there

Tbh while i wouldn't call them 'freakshows' I am sure they do more harm to their cause than good.

Fanatics always get on peoples nerves.

booomy - you do know that what happened is already illegal - there's no need to change the law as the laws already exist to make it illegal to discriminate against BF women

Personally, I think that whilst it got the cafe owner to admit that they were wrong (although I thought the sign now said 'allowed here' - as if it was some favour they were granting rather than 'welcomed here'), and it cost them a load of cake and tea (they fed the protesters) - what it really did was publicise the cafe...

Actually OP, I agree with you. 200 woman breastfeeding en mass is not normal. Nobody likes fanatics like Methe says. If I were anti-bf, this wouldn't do anything to change my opinion on breastfeeding, infact it would add to my prejudice.

If I were the woman that was asked not to BF, I'd say get lost, and say that breastfeeding is perfectly legal in the UK and I'd maybe even write to the local papers. I have been lucky though, in my nearly 2yrs of breastfeeding I've never encountered a negative reaction.

I don't think the OP was saying that she thought it was "eeewwwwww" the breastfeeding, I think she was saying that, that is what some numpty would think who already is anti-bf, if they saw this display of mass breastfeeding.

Hmmm everyone else seems to make my point better than I can! Thanks choceyes! I always say the wrong thing! Perfectly put, for those non-bf, this will not change thier minds!

Our western societies continually undermine breast feeding actively and subtly. Reading people's comments on websites on articles makes me realise that breast feeding is a subject that makes many people uncomfortable. For someone on the DM website to compare bf to public self gratification shows that we have a big hurdle to overcome. 200 mothers and children are not part of a freak show. We need more encouragement of bf in our society. There aren't any ads on telly to publicise bf, but plenty to promote formula. BF is undermined in the media even in that article to make it seem like a curiosity.

I never had strong views either way until I gave birth and started nursing my son. Not a drop of artificial milk has passed my son's lips and he has grown 4.5 inches and put on 5lbs in less than 4 months. Now, I will do whatever I can to promote bf. I have volunteered to attend a mums to be workshop to talk to pg women about my experiences bf to be a real life examI would attend a protest like that if there was one in my area. I'm just as "normal" as the next person, but I am darn proud that I have EBF. If I can make a difference to help one mum bf, I would be happy.

Boomey I'll to explain with some detail why I found your post upsetting.
When I read about the treatment of Kelly Schaecher I was really felt for her. How horrible to bespoken to like that.
When I saw her response to it was to hold a protest that was peaceful and positive and light hearted I felt pleased. I felt proud of those woman that had stood next to her and said "no it's not Ok discriminate again breastfeeding woman"

I thought the cafe owner had seen that something with his cafe need to change.

A positive good thing has happened.

Your response to it name calling (I refer to the freakshow in the title as that in turn suggest the people are freaks) .

How do you propose to normal breastfeeding in society then? I see you have ignored bad comments before but this surely isn't the way to make society see breastfeeding as normal is it?

Oh and no it's not me but would it matter if it was?

hazchem

Op - shame on you

The vast vast majority of society already view breastfeeding as a perfectly normal way to feed a child. The few that don't are not worth giving any brainspace too.

All this 'normalising' breastfeeding stuff makes me .

Breastfeeding is normal.

hazchem I used the word freak show because I meant it was something people would gawp at for their entertainment, not that bf mums are freaks, I've said i'm a bf mum.

The way to normalize breastfeeding is to just get on and do it! There's not an issue with it!

mama how dare I just want to get on with feeding? I have every right to say i'm annoyed that these women have made such a spectacle!

boomy it's the name calling I have issue with

"I have every right to say i'm annoyed that these women have made such a spectacle!"

boomy and there lies the difference. I too just want to get on with feeding but know that it's only because other woman have made a spectacle that I can just get on with it. So I'm happy and proud that woman will stand up for my right to breastfeed where ever DS needs to be fed. Their (and other like them) behavior gives me strength to feed in public.

At the same time I guess I see flash mobs/protests as a bit of an antidote to formula advertisingas well as a direct action against injustice.

What would be better then, quietly writing a polite letter that only the cafe owner will see? Going home and keeping quiet? These women have brought attention to the law, which a lot of businesses seem to not know about, and if that makes the difference to just one mother then it would have been worth it.

You'd be surprised how many women either don't start BF or give up very soon because they feel so nervous about BF in public. Maybe if they knew there was a law in place to protect them then it would give them more confidence.

As for the 'ewww' comment, I know that isn't your opinion, but I think you are being overly pessimistic there. Most people are fine with BF and the minority that are not are very small (albeit sadly quite vocal on the internet and the DM letter pages).

Surely we need to bang on all the doors to get BF normalised, not just one.

There is a place for subtle back-room campaigning.
There is a place for small everyday gestures.
There is a place for loud and vocal awareness-raising.

Just one of these alone is not going to cut it - social change is complex and doesn't happen in just one way.

I can see ops point and the other side.

Yes 200 women bf will make those who don't like bf think "freaks" and I personally dislike "mothersuckers" from a purely marketing perspective it comes across as aggressive and to those women who were on the fence about bf (and to the antis) it pushes bf firmly back into hairy legged militant dreadlocked hippy territory, not where women and the government have worked hard to be!

On the other side many women are unaware there is a law in public bf, many women (I know a few) are too nervous of judgement or being asked to leave to bf in public and we all know bf will fail if you are stuck hiding away in the house all day. What this action did was publicise in a very effective way the law, gives nervous women a little "push" to feel they could say "erm don't challenge me did you see what happened to that cafe?" and MOST importantly to businesses and employees it gives them the realisation that they daren't say boo about a woman bf for fear of repurcussions.

And to those who say it just publicised the cafe, I live nearby, was going to attend but dd2 is ill and will not be going there as the apology did not include a word about the woman who was abusive or her fate.

All in all protest achieves more than it damages but would have been better had it been a quiet, arrive bf like a normal day to accent the normality not militise it.

giggle I think that's a really interesting post.

I quite often hear from ff mothers that they feel they are judged and stared at as well, because they are ff, rather than bf.

I think we all feel an element of discomfort about feeding babies - whether the pressures of people staring at bf mothers because they "shouldn't have their boobs out in public" or people staring at ff mothers because they "should be breastfeeding".

There's so much more that can and should be done to support women in their choices and instead it always feels loaded.

FWIW, I get some very odd looks when people find out i'm breastfeeding my 18month old... including a HV who told i should stop as i'd been doing it long enough.

What I love about this protest is that 199 (or thereabouts) women came forward to support 1 woman who was treated appallingly and illegally. I wonder if they had any idea when the FB group got up and running that 200 women would all come out in support.

There will always be entrenched views that are very hard to shift, but this case has brought the laws around bf in public back to the forefront and maybe educated a few businesses and people about they way they treat bf women.

I hope that it has also given confidence to the woman who was first affected by all of this. what a horrible experience it must have been.

Finally, I think the law only protects women bf in a public venue for up to 6 months. IMHO, it shouldn't be limited by the age of the baby, especially when the WHO guidelines are minimum of two years BF.

Is it really time limited