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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

been advised to wean

36 replies

jan2011 · 05/07/2012 08:05

i am really upset dd is 9 months and a specialist has advised me to wean for health reasons. i need to get my periods back soon as, and they said i had to wean in order to do this. im just feeling really upset about it as i was really enjoying it. when i said i planned to bf until she was at least one, the doctor looked at me and said, well i bf mine but nowhere near THIS long (ie 9m), youve already done long after the recommended time, and its natural for them to wean now. she made me feel like it was something wrong i was doing.

im quite upset as i get great comfort from bf. in fact its the only thing thats given me confidence - like something that i CAN do - theres so many things i can't do ifswim! dd really enjoys it and has showed no signs of self weaning. she takes a bottle from dh and others but not from me.

im going to have to just start weaning - trying her more with a bottle myself i guess, ill do it gradually. anyone any tips? thanks for listening

OP posts:

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 05/07/2012 08:13

Sorry no tips but your 'specialist' is wrong about at least one thing... The 'recommended' time for breastfeeding is until at least age 2 (WHO guidelines) and it is very unusual for a child to wean 'naturally' before about 2.5-7.

It sounds like purely her opinion that you should wean to be honest. Can you get a second opinion?

I'm pretty sure there are medications/herbs that can encourage your period to return, is that something you can look in to?

by all means wean if you feel it's your only option but don't rush into it if you don't want to. I feel sure there must be another way.

FWIW my doctor told me to wean when I was having trouble getting pregnant. I'm now 25 weeks pregnant and breastfeeding still going strong. I'm glad I didn't take her advice as gospel

hermionestranger · 05/07/2012 08:19

I'm still ebf and my DS is 19 mo. my periods came back when he was 11mo. So my point is that they may return naturally even if you don't wean.

YY to WHO guidelines being 2.

EauRouge · 05/07/2012 08:53

Yes, agree your Dr is wrong about the recommended length of BF and about self-weaning.

All women are different so there's no telling when exactly you will get your period back, although for many breastfeeding women it is between 6-24 months (see Kellymom )

You may not have to wean completely to get your periods back. How soon do you need your periods to start again? How would you feel about possibly mixed feeding and see what effect that has? Offering formula in a beaker is a possibility if you want to avoid bottles. Even just one BF a day will give her a boost of antibodies, vitamins and give you some time to bond and cuddle.

Chatting this over with a BF counsellor might help you to weigh up your options and if you do need to wean then you can come up with a plan that will be gentle for you and your DD. As this is a medical issue it would really help to get as much information from a reliable source as you can. BFCs are used to working together with HCPs to find things that work for the mother and baby.

StarlightWithAsteroid · 05/07/2012 09:07

I was told to wean in order to have a smear test, because it had to be done 'in between' periods apparently.

Pastabee · 05/07/2012 09:14

Hi jan my DD is just a little younger than yours and I would be upset to be told to wean so I empathise. Can you imagine any other medical conversation where the dr's personal experience would be relevant?!

Does your LO still feed at night? My DD slept through from 8 weeks and my periods returned almost immediately.... A definite example of giving with one hand and taking away with the other!

I just wonder if you could try a bottle at night and see what happens? I know that my experience isn't evidence of what will happen to you but it may be worth a try?

EauRouge · 05/07/2012 09:22

Starlight- that's sad that you were told that :( You don't need to wean to have a smear test.

Yes, a lot of mothers find that once their baby is no longer feeding at night then their period returns.

ChunkyPickle · 05/07/2012 09:33

Cutting back rather than entirely weaning might do the trick? I found that once DS was only having about 1 feed a day (and 3 or 4 at night :S) at around 10 months they came back - although only every other month at first - then they came in at every month when he was down to 1 feed during every other day, and 2 or 3 at night.

You don't really want to go cold turkey anyhow - that's just asking for trouble.

BertieBotts · 05/07/2012 09:38

Do you just need to have a period? It's pretty early for them to come back if you're breastfeeding still, but as others say, cutting down or even if you went away for a night or two has a good chance of triggering them.

TimeWasting · 05/07/2012 09:42

Mine came back around ten months and didn't wean til he was nearly three!
Whoever advised you is dead wrong about recommended length of breastfeeding, I'd seek other sources of information on the whole topic frankly.

Original poster

jan2011 · 05/07/2012 09:53

thanks for all the helpful replies. i need to get my period as soon as poss, because i have osteoperosis caused by lack of hormones. when i said about waiting because dd got comfort from it, she said well she would prefer if you were able to walk in 10 years time. and i know that is what is more important - i have to look at the big picture.
i am already doing mixed feeds. i will try to cut out the night feed, and see if cutting even more helps without stopping completely. ill also look into herbs and see if theres any that are safe for bf.

i could talk to a bf counsellor.

OP posts:

CrampedUpMissPiggy · 05/07/2012 09:58

My DD is 14m and my periods came back at 11m when she'd dropped to morning and night feeds only from being 8m. The return definitely coincided with her eating better.

She had no milk during the day when I was at work and had yoghurt and cheese. At 12m she started with half a beaker of milk during the day and less dairy.

I think that the bf councillor suggestion is excellent. When it comes to bf some HCPs are clueless.

TimeWasting · 05/07/2012 10:08

Sounds like a serious issue.

But she doesn't just get comfort from it, it's important nutrition for her, and it's protective of other elements of your health too. Discussing it with someone who actually knows about bf would be a very good idea.

BertieBotts · 05/07/2012 10:12

There's a lot of research about breastfeeding and osteoporosis - it might be worth seeing what you can dig out.

TheMysteryCat · 05/07/2012 10:21

I'm terribly sorry you are feeling so sad and that your health has not been good.

this sounds like a very specialist subject, and it may be worth contacting a specialist consultant on this issue.

I found this article, with links on the Royal College of Obs and Gynae, which might be of use: Osteoporosis and BF

midori1999 · 05/07/2012 12:43

I don't really know much about osteoporosis, but it doesn't sound like your specialist is very understanding or very knowledgable about breastfeeding and so it might help to discuss with someone that is or seek a second opinion.

Original poster

jan2011 · 05/07/2012 13:16

yes she wasn't understanding at all. i knew about the link between osteo and bf, and i said to her ' i heard it can reverse osteoperosis in the long term' she just said 'no, if anything, it takes nutrition FROM your body'. she didn't seem to be very knowledgeable. does anyone know of who is good for me to phone? i am going to give the osteoperosis helpline a ring to see what they say. i don't know which bf counsellors to chat too.

you are right - it IS a specialist area - and i waited for months to get a specialist - i was very very disappointed yesterday that she didn't seem to be specialised in the ins and outs of it all. plus her holier than thou attitude.
i can't even tell mum or dh as they told me to wean ages ago and will think me very foolish to carry on - they just go by what doctors say.

OP posts:

EauRouge · 05/07/2012 13:33

I think most of the big breastfeeding organisations have a department that can help with medical enquiries, I know LLL does for sure. Osteoporosis helpline is an ace idea, they will have access to the latest data.

There's some info and a reading list here that might be helpful.

Good luck :)

Original poster

jan2011 · 05/07/2012 14:03

thanks so much..
i am just off the phone with the osteo helpline - the nurse was so lovely, and she really was so helpful! it just goes to show those specialists don't always know everything.

she said a few months more (ie even if i bf till 2) won't make a big difference to my bones in the long term, plus there are arguments both ways (ie bf can help or hinder bones and it should be my decision.)

she said there are so many benefits to bf and the specialist hadn't taken into account the big picture, and for me it seemed like it would be a harder thing to stop the bf at this stage and the benefits for continuing for a few more months would seem to outweigh the risks for me personally.

she gave loads of good advice. thanks all for your encouragement and helping me think to ring someone instead of just getting really down about it :)

OP posts:

TimeWasting · 05/07/2012 14:13

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 05/07/2012 14:19

Great! I saw your thread this morning and was about to write a long response, but I see you got it sorted .

How do you feel about your consultant after speaking to the helpline? Her 'you'd prefer to be able to walk' comment seems particularly ill informed. For example, I have a friend who needs to take arthritis drugs incompatible with breastfeeding (and also needs to enlist more help with childcare to rest). Her consultant very clearly talked to her about what the issues would be of continuing to feed for X more months, etc (which was broadly in her situation that it was unlikely to make much difference to her long term health, but that there was the pain management angle to consider alongside it). The simple assumption that any continuation of feeding would harm your condition seemed too simplistic and rang warning bells with me. The consultant clearly upset you - do you want to take it further? It is sad if she is routinely giving this advice on what sounds like a much more complex picture.

EauRouge · 05/07/2012 14:50

That's fantastic news, so pleased for you :)

I agree, some constructive comments to the consultant would really help any mothers than might find themselves in your situation in the future, if you are up to writing a letter or email.

Original poster

jan2011 · 05/07/2012 20:57

hey..

you'lllaugh im sorry about what your friend is going through and so glad she has good advice and support. simplistic is the word for the way the consultant was - it was like she just wanted to give me pat answers and didn't go into any detail. she seemed to fob off any idea that i would have of wanting to continue bf (i live in an area also, that bf is quite unusual).
also when i asked her are there any drugs that can help induce my period she just said a straight 'no' and left it at that. i know for a fact there are - now maybe they are in no way suitable for me, but it would have been nice to have these things explained to me. the nurse said that area was beyond her expertise and i could always go to the doc and ask - its a shame having to go to the doc after ive seen the 'specialist'
i don't really want to formally complain i think it would stress me out especially as ive to see her every 2 years for continued scans and treatment. but the next time i see her, i will stick up for myself as im upset with myself for not doing it yesterday.

OP posts:

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 05/07/2012 22:29

It's totally understandable you wouldn't want to do anything formal.

I'm not sure if you've said whether your DD is night weaned? That has led to the return of periods (within six weeks or so) for quite a number of my friends. So it might be a gentle first step to think about if you do want to encourage your periods to return? She's about the age where it should be possible - or fairly soon anyway.

Original poster

jan2011 · 06/07/2012 07:35

she actually does sleep through the night if i put white noise on instead of feeding her. i just wasn't sure if i should do that. last night she cried at 4am and i fed her... i could have put the noise on to see and didn't. i guess im a softie and im worried incase she is hungry. but i know at 9 months (and she gets a bottle from dh around 12) that she probably will be ok. so i could do this.

OP posts:

YoulllaughAboutItOneDay · 06/07/2012 08:26

It might be worth a try? If your periods returned you could keep feeding all the rest of the time without the consultant's comments nagging at the back of your mind?

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