been advised to wean

[jan2011]

i am really upset dd is 9 months and a specialist has advised me to wean for health reasons. i need to get my periods back soon as, and they said i had to wean in order to do this. im just feeling really upset about it as i was really enjoying it. when i said i planned to bf until she was at least one, the doctor looked at me and said, well i bf mine but nowhere near THIS long (ie 9m), youve already done long after the recommended time, and its natural for them to wean now. she made me feel like it was something wrong i was doing.

im quite upset as i get great comfort from bf. in fact its the only thing thats given me confidence - like something that i CAN do - theres so many things i can't do ifswim! dd really enjoys it and has showed no signs of self weaning. she takes a bottle from dh and others but not from me.

im going to have to just start weaning - trying her more with a bottle myself i guess, ill do it gradually. anyone any tips? thanks for listening

glad you have got some more advice! i dont know about your particular condition but periods can return when bfeeding ,esp if you manage to get a good 6-8hr chunk overnight where you dont feed, so try aiming for that?

and maybe tiktok or someone more knowledgable may be able to find some more info for you?

I was lurking here - really glad you got a clearer and more detailed opinion from someone dealing with this complex issue on a more regular basis than the specialist and have sorted this. As an aside, I've only been feeding 4 months and my periods are back - still EBFing though..... Let's hope yours simply turns up again while you are BF - I think they do come back for many women before BF ends anyway.

I think under the circumstances you should listen to your doctor. There are lots of people living with conditions that cannot be cured or held at bay in spite of all the modern medicine available to them.

You have a chance to help yourself by doing one small thing that will make very little difference to anyone at this stage, but potentially could be of enormous life-changing benefit to you. Why on earth wouldn't you want to do it?

have you read the post from the op where she has spoken to another specialist and got further advice that it is actually ok and the fact that there is evidence either way, it is not conclusive at all that continuing to bfeed will cause her problems hermajesty

and stopping bfeeding is not just one small thing and it will not necessarily help the op. she wants to bfeed as does her dd, that is a big thing for a mum and baby as the ops dd is still a baby at 9mths.

Sorry, just seen the post about the osteoporosis helpline thing. I am glad you feel reassured but personally I still would not take the risk. For me, whilst I am pro-Bfing, I would put my own health before BFing at 9months old and onwards. I tend to agree with your doctor that it is not going to make much measurable difference to your DD now if you stopped but it could make a big difference to your long term prognosis, for the better. For me it would be a no-brainer.

No such thing as a no-brainer.

Well that's a matter of opinion. Some things have an clear and obvious answer/choice/solution and for me this is one of them. Of course you are perfectly at liberty to disagree, as is the OP. Whatever she decides I hope she can do it with confidence based on reassuring research and I hope she has continued good health.

HerMajesty - But it doesn't have a 'clear and obvious answer' because the helpline said it could help or hinder bones to breastfeed and the evidence was conflicting. It's not a case where stopping = may help or may do nothing. It's stopping might help, or continuing might help. That's why the bigger picture is so important, because the medical facts of stopping do not sound clear cut.

It does seem odd that if breastfeeding can help to protect women from osteoporosis later in life that it would hinder a woman who already has it. Unfortunately I don't have the medical knowledge to know whether that could be right or not - I don't know what the mechanism for it protecting from osteo is.

I think... its not as if you are planning to feed forever. With the information from the helpline lady, saying that there is difference of opinion over whether breastfeeding helps or hinders your bones, I reckon its up to you to balance the benefits versus risks of carrying on feeding.

Remember that you can decide on a feed to feed basis - in terms of, you could decide that carrying on for another week/month/till 1 year would be overall beneficial but that carrying on to self weaning at 2 years would not be for the two of you. Or you can cut down some feeds and see if that brings back your periods without stopping entirely. It doesn't have to be "I must give up totally right now or else I won't be able to walk in 10 years" it can be, "well, I'm going to continue till she's one" or "I'm going to cut down slowly till one feed a day or till my periods return".

I mean, can she guarantee that even if breastfeeding is harmful to your bones, that the difference between you breastfeeding till nine months and breastfeeding till 12 months is complete mobility versus you being unable to walk in ten years? What if you won't be able to walk in ten years anyway, or what if the next three months (especially as your child begins to rely more on solids) won't make a great deal of difference to whether you can or not?

Only you can make the judgement about how important breastfeeding is to you right now, versus how important your potential mobility in 10 years time. Its a big decision, and I think its reasonable for you to look more into the research of the links between osteo and breastfeeding, and possibly get a second opinion from a different specialist - emphasizing that you'd like to know how big a difference breastfeeding for one more week/month/till one year/etc is likely to have. But I doubt you will be able to get guarantees, health is a very individual and variable thing.

BTW I'm sure that you are good at all kinds of things, not just breastfeeding. At somepoint (whether now, in 3 months or 3 years) you will stop breastfeeding your daughter and you'll still be a fantastic mum. Try not to put too much pressure/emphasis on this aspect of parenting, there's a whole lot more you can do. :)

Normally I am a lurker, but felt I had to post on this.

I am at high risk of developing osteo-arthritis and have been told by five doctors and three consultants (all NHS) that the longer I go without periods the better. Although our cases clearly are different, hormone levels have been cited as one reason why long term bf is particularly beneficial in my case.

Was the consultant you saw an O & G consultant or a T & O consultant? T & O consultants don't appear to have a lot of knowledge about the implications of bf ime (luckily for me the T & O consultant involved in my case defers to the O & G consultants who have obtained advice from the relevant national experts).

Could you see your GP and see if there is any way you could get a second opinion from a genuine expert? It does seem worrying to me that the consultant appears to have formed an opinion very quickly. They took quite a while in my case because they had to involve a relatively large number of people. For example they discussed my case with the radiology consultant who did my initial mri scans to ensure they understood exactly how my pelvis had been damaged.

I feel for you about this. It seems like you have been placed in a very difficult position.

thanks for all the thoughts that you have shared its given me a lot to mull over. concrete im sorry you are in this situation too and im so glad you are getting support and able to continue bf under advice. yes she did form her opinion far too quickly. there was no hesitation.

i was reading a few osteo forums and from what i read from other's experiences, bf temporarily decreases your bone density so those with low bones already, would be at risk of fracturing. i have posted there for some advice and will include that here, just so you can get a bit more background to my specific situation. but the specialist did not advise me to stop cos of breaking bones cos of the temporary loss, it was more to do with getting my periods back.

im 30, diagnosed with osteoperosis 5 years ago due to history of eating disorder. second dexa scan done in jan showed much lower t scores - but by this stage baby was around 3 months. i bf from the start (one bottle a day as well)

i waited until she was 9months for my appt with the specialist to come through. just seen the specialist, she says i should stop bf in order to get my periods back. i have not had regular periods for 5 years. i have put on weight since pregnancy and am eating much better. she says i need to increase my weight and stop bf in order to get them, and the only way to prevent further bone loss is periods.

i do not want to wean. she did not understand and said it would be the difference between walking in 10 years. i disagreed, and rang the osteo helpline, the nurse said a few months more will not make that much difference in the long run, that there is inconclusive evidence to support that bf can help osteoperosis, and its not as clear cut as just stopping bf. she said the specialist did not take into account the bigger picture.

i am taking all the supplements. from reading on here, i understand that it is while you are bf you are at risk. i am being extra careful, and she is 9 months anyway so naturally cutting down a bit. if i was going to break bones i would have done it by now. so i am wanting to continue till she is somewhere between 1 and 2.

my periods - i will night wean her to see if that helps. also, its not just to do with bf, its to do with my weight about my periods, and im eating well now. the helpline also said i could regain some bone now that the problem has been solved (ie my eating problems) and ill not be bf forever, and also when i got the scan done it would have shown temporary low result anyway because i was bf.