Bottle nursing and coming to terms with FF from the very beginning

[raininginbaltimore]

I am 32 weeks with DC2. I have Bipolar disorder, this is a planned pregnancy with the support of my Psychiatrist although I have recently changed.

Old Psych had always been happy for me to give BF a go (I BF my son for 6 weeks, until I became too unwell, although this was before my diagnosis). Turns out he was quite blase about a lot and not really following guidelines. However, new Psych wanted me to be aware of risks which are quite high unmedicated.

I can't take my medication (lithium) and BF and they aren't happy to try new anti-psychotics in a post-natal woman. So I have been advised to only aim for a few days BF and then FF. Actually I think they would prefer I FF from day one. The main reasin being that my medication could take a minimum of 6 weeks to start working anyway, so waiting until I am symptomatic is too dangerous. The other issue is sleep, which is a major trigger of puerpal psychosis (I have 1 in 2 chance of getting this) and FF allows me more rest.

I am gutted. I really, really wanted to BF. I feel like a bit of a failure, like it is the one thing I should be able to do for my baby. I already feel slightly irrational at the idea of other people feeding her. Someone has suggested bottle nursing to me, has anyone done this? There is obviously extra faff and I know FF isn't poison but I am really upset.

I need to snap out of it and get my head round it. But then every time I go to antenatal clinic to see consultant the BF ladies are there (as they should be!) giving out badges, asking me if I am planning on BF. And I have to say no and tell them why (in front of whole waiting room). It isn't their fault, but it makes me want to cry.

ANyone got any tips on making this work from the beginning?

raininginbaltimore I am sorry you are in this difficult position but you are in the best position you can be in - your condition is being managed with the help of professionals and they will be proactive rather than reactive, which is always better I reckon :)

My situation was similar but not the same -I developed very severe PND after having DS (DC2) nearly 2 years ago. I do have a history of depression but nothing to foreshadow the severity of this particular episode. Although orignially BF, he was bottlefed exclusively from 6 weeks as I could not cope with looking after him. There was also a medication issue as I was temporarily put on sedatives which were generally considered even by enlightened folks to be unsuitable for BF.

The thing I wanted to say is that you MUST put your own mental health first, for the sake of yourself and your whole family. Only you and your care team know the best way for you to do this. Ultimately, your mental health is so much more important than how you feed your baby. I can't stress that enough. I do recognise that inability to/ a decision not to BF might make you feel down and depressed in and of itself, but this is far far less likely to happen if you are suitably medicated because you'll be feeling stronger in yourself and less prone to those crippling attacks of the guilts.

I am in the middle of cooking tea so can't respond as fully as I want to but wanted to post while things still fresh in my mind.

Best of luck to you and I hope you have a fantastic, healthy outcome whatever you decide.

Thanks all, sorry I have been busy this week and didn't see all the replies.

I have an appointment next week with the perinatal mental health team (who I should have been referred to at the beginning of pregnancy, but turns out old Psych didn't reply to them!)

I think my plan at the minute will be BF for first day and then ff. But if it goes well maybe a few days.

The studies on medication are too fuzzy. To be honest I know that lithium is a nasty drug and i am not sure there is any study they could do that would put my mind at rest. The fact that I have to have regular tests to check my liver, kidneys and thyroid as it can permanently damage them is enough.

I have talked to dh about not letting anyone else feed her at least for early months. I think what I will miss is the lying down feeding. I still remember a couple of lovely feeds in bed with ds when he fell asleep and so did I.

mamadoc you are right, my male Psych just didn't seem to understand why it was an issue.

raining: I wish you the very best. totally agree with narmada: you must put your health first as your baby's good health will follow. i'm on here again as I am up with my little one who has his first cold. My partner takes over soon and then I'll get a good sleep and we'll all hopefully have a nice day tomorrow despite the rain. So far I'm doing well and have been managed from start of pregnancy to finish and beyond by a fantastic team both psych and obstetric who have supported me through some quite a few difficult decisions I've had to make along the way. For a long time I didn't think I'd even be able to try for a baby, let alone have one who is as perfect and healthy as the baby is. I can tell you that that happy little face will let you know that you are doing everything just fine and not to worry! xx

OP, you sound like a lovely caring mother who is finding ways to do the best for her child in difficult circumstances. I am sure your baby will thrive on formula, like many many other babies too. Like tiktok says, bf isn't the only way to bond, lots of time spent cuddling in bed, skin to skin etc, baby massage, shared baths will do this. Is donor milk something you would consider? Are you on meds now? Would it be possible to express colostrum antenatally?