What's going on with 15mo DS? Advice needed please.

[LilRedWG]

DS is 15 months old and has always been a fast feeder and DH has always been able to settle him if he wakes from a bad dream or something. In recent weeks he is taking at least 45 minutes for his middle of the night feed, as opposed to 10-25 minutes, and I'm aware that the bulk of this he isn't feeding, just nursing and using me as a dummy. Any attempt to give him his dummy and put him down is met with a tantrum and sobs. :(

Daytime feeds before naps are the same. He just wants to nurse constantly and doesn't want to be put down. My nipples are getting sore as after he has fed and wants to use me as a dummy his latch goes to pot.

If poor DH goes into his room when he cries he has a total meltdown and kicks/scratches/pinches dh. :(

What on earth is going on? Help please.

My 15 month daughter is also feeding more and being clingy.

He isn't using you as a dummy, it's the other way round, breasts are the default!

Maybe it's a developmental phase, whether that's mental or physical. Just feed him when he wants and things will change soon enough. Co-sleep if you can't get enough rest with him in the other room.

Thanks ihavequestions.

Anyone else?

Teething? Mine get irritatingly clingy & constantly-nursing during bouts of teething, or when they're not well, or when they're going through a big development stage. So quite regularly. It is exhausting, I sympathise. Are there any health issues going on?

Probably developmental or any big back teeth on the horizon?

Could be more teeth on the horizon - he has 14 so a few more to come. :( Thank you all.

No real health issues. Just a normal, healthy 15 month old who is into everything. :)

Start of another burst of separation anxiety maybe?

It does sound developmental darling (sorry was watching the footie).

So, why not take it as a separate thing and keep him close. As for the latch, if your nipples are getting sore then you have to ensure he is firmly UP on the breast or you break the latch and reattach, much as you would with a younger one. How long has it been going on? 1 week? 4 weeks?

Will give it more thought, but I'm thinking that you might have to power through this one. As to the dummy, well it's not as warm and doesn't smell of Mum the way you do darling.

Thanks both. It's been a few weeks now Mars. :( Whilst he is feeding the latch is great but when he's finished feeding he's just sucking for comfort and doesn't latch correctly. DH is off this week and said he'll try and get DS to snuggle with him too.

that sounds like a good idea.

Remember, we love the little rugrats and this stage will pass all too soon

DH got up with him last night and took 1/5 hours to settle him, but he did settle. :(

Thanks you Mars. x

I had something similar with 22 month old DS recently. I was very careful at correcting the latch and putting him down if he didn't do it, even when he wasn't in full feed.

He seems to have got the message. He's still feeding loads, but it's not sore.

FWIW, with my DS it is developmental. He is starting to refuse his own bed and wants, 'that bed,' meaning mine.

How you doing darling?

Well, DS woke on Tuesday night and screamed for an hour and a half. DH wouldn't let me near him and snuggled him back to sleep - eventually. Since then he's slept through, so - so far, so good. Thanks for asking. x

Wow you have just described our little 15 monther too!! He doesn't seem teethy but does appear to have regressed in his behaviour at night - only wants mummy to BF back to sleep, when he'd managed to night wean 3 months ago and started to sleep through/self settle. I was wondering which way to go with it - give him what he wants and hope it's a phase that will pass, or be firm as I'm not happy about going back to feeding through the night to settle.

He does tend to be booby-obsessed. For the most part I'm a very happy BFer, but after the hellish first 12 months of hourly waking, screaming protestations at anyone but me etc etc etc I'd prefer feeds to become less, not more, I'd be sad to go backwards.

I think we'll have a few nights of Dad settling as he's not working for a few days.

Spoke too soon. Friday night he woke three times and DH dealt with and last night he woke just after midnight and I caved and fed him - it was the quickest way to get him back to sleep and DH was asleep.

Good luck Tancub.

How's it now darling?

I've been up feeding him at 5am the past two mornings and he constantly wants to be at the breast during the day. I'm thinking it's teething but sadly I'm also getting the sense from DH that he thinks it's time to stop feeding DS. He is massively supportive and would never tell me to stop, but...

Have you been to a breastfeeding clinic? They don't just support women with newborns. It may be a developmental thing, it may be that something needs a slight adjustment. At the very least you'll meet some other RL mums with the same 'issues'.

Oh and if it is teething (and I bet you're right), then it will pass. Things will settle and calm again darling.

Good idea Mars! I'll take a trip. DS woke at about midnight last night and DH went into him - he went ballistic, was hitting and kicking DH. As soon as I went in DS calmed down and had a feed. Poor DH. :(

Perhaps it a developmental thing. Are there other ways that your DH can support you through this? You know do the things that allow you to get an early night/catch a nap etc.