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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

My partner wants me to stop breastfeeding!

47 replies

Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:03

Just had a conversation with my DH rearding breastfeeding (thanks to the jeremy vine show on the radio today!) The result of what became a very heated conversation is, he thinks it WRONG to still be breastfeeding LO at age 24 months. He even made a statement regarding something i said while pregnant 'but you said you would stop when he was 6 months!'

My DS is 29 weeks old and i have no issues at all with breastfeeding him. In fact i feel like it cuts out a lot of hassle i see with other mums making up bottles! Then of cause there are the health benefits. Why would i stop?? I had planned to breastfeed Alfie until he was 6 months, now i reckon a year, but if i decide to carry on until he is two, is that really so bad??

OP posts:
Zhenjiangosaurus · 23/05/2012 22:06

No, your breasts, your choice. I bf 1st dd to 23 months and intend to go on longer with dd2. WHO advises bfing to at least 2 years old. What are his reasons for wanting you to stop?

thisisyesterday · 23/05/2012 22:09

no, it isn't bad at all

the WHO recommend that ALL babies are breastfed exclusively for the first 6 months and then alongside solids until they are 2, for optimum health and development

and yes, that means even in the UK!

why would you swap to the faff and expense of bottles if you don't have to? he's being ridiculous.

bitbewildered · 23/05/2012 22:10

If it suits your DC and it suits you, then carry on. I fed my 2 DCs till they were 14 and 15 mths respectively and stopped when it felt right. And no bottles to sterilise or carry around - easy! Tell your DP to avoid Jeremy Kyle if it makes him all judgy-pants! Wink

bitbewildered · 23/05/2012 22:11

Oops! Jeremy Vine, not Jeremy Kyle! Blush

Original poster
Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:15

He has no valid reason for stopping other than he things its wrong! Weird even!

OP posts:
MrsCog · 23/05/2012 22:15

What are his reasons for thinking its wrong? He does know that you can't force a child to bf doesn't he?

Original poster
Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:17

If a chilld has teeth then he is meant to eat proper food..thats what he said

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MrsCog · 23/05/2012 22:21

As a throw back point out that they are called milk teeth for a reason - the infant jaw is 'suitable' for bf until adult teeth come through

bitbewildered · 23/05/2012 22:23

Some are born with teeth. They still need milk to be their main drink and also get most of their nutrients and calories from milk until they're a year old. They must have formula if they can't be bf till a year because they won't get what they need from normal cows milk or replacements.

lilbreeze · 23/05/2012 22:28

Well he's right, your Ds is old enough for solids now. But that is a completely separate issue surely?!

I bf my dds until 13 months and 17 months respectively. I'm lucky though that my Dh was supportive.

I also planned while pregnant to ebf to 6 months but hadn't really thought past that age. When dd1 reached 6 months it felt natural to continue and the idea of giving her powdered milk was completely unappealing.

JellyMould · 23/05/2012 22:28

If your child is only 7 months, then I would just keep going until it feels the right time to stop. BFing changes anyway as your child gets more dependent on solid food - often after 12 months they're only feeding morning and evening anyway, so it doesn't exactly take up much of your day.

thisisyesterday · 23/05/2012 22:29

then he is being ridiculous

ds1 was nearly a year old before he got teeth. so shouldn't i have given him any real food? would it be ok to breastfeed as long as his teeth haven't arrived yet?

and what about babies who are born with teeth? they can just tuck into a sarnie can they?

BillComptonstrousers · 23/05/2012 22:36

Did he actually say 'I want you to stop breastfeeding' ? And give a real reason why he wants you to stop now?

Original poster
Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:40

Thanks guys. You have definately reassured me on this one. I think i had even started to doubt myself! (never good!) Yeah, he has been on solids since 5 months. And he loves his food which is good! I think OH thought as soon as he started having proper food then that was it, no more mummy milk?!! Told him about the formula thing till a year old and yesterday he brought home a tub of Aptimil?!! 6 months plus!! thats what started all of this off, then he comes home this evening after listening to bloody Jeremy Vine saying how disgusting it was breastfeeding a toddler in public.

I cant believe im with someone who thinks its better to feed our child, man made formula than to feed him milk from the body he came from!!!

In fact i cant believe anyone can honestly say that that its wrong to feed your own child, (which your body grew from a mere egg,) milk that is produced by your own body?!! Its what we were designed for surely?!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:41

funny about the sarnie! LOL

OP posts:
LadyWidmerpool · 23/05/2012 22:43

It's very good for both of your health. That should be enough for him unless he can come up with a sensible reason.

Original poster
Ammz · 23/05/2012 22:46

I usually enjoy a bit of a debate but im glad i didnt hear the show today. Reckon it would have put me in a well bad mood!!

OP posts:
fhdl34 · 24/05/2012 06:35

I first suggested I might go past my planned year when DD was about 8wks old, it didn't go down well with DH, he was adamant I should stick to the one year, even start weaning at 11 months so we'd be done by the year. This isn't going to happen. I don't think he's keen still but he knows my feelings and I expect he'll raise it again nearer the time. He would never come home with formula though thank god. When I was pregnant he casually suggested getting a tub of formula "just in case" because DD was due around xmas. I went ballistic, accused him of implying I was an inadequate mother who wouldn't be able to feed my child (pregnancy hormones anyone :)). He'd even been at the BF talk that advised against getting any in because the temptation might be too strong but it just crossed his mind and he unfortunately, instead of keeping it to him, said it out loud. My DH also thinks it's weird to BF past a year but to be fair to him, I kind of thobeingthat too, it's only now she's here and I'm BFing here do I realise just how natural it is

Happenstance · 24/05/2012 08:08

find it a bit wierd that some people think it's discusting to feed your own child but giving them the milk from a completely different species is fine. My Mil has been odd about breastfeeding from the start, can't wait till i tell her i'll be doing it till DD2 self weans Grin

EauRouge · 24/05/2012 09:26

You should give the show a listen, it was pretty good. There were only a couple of negative comments (not made by JV, who I thought came across as quite supportive), interesting that your DH picked up on the negatives when there were far more positive comments...

I agree with the others, it is your choice how long you BF for. I know as the baby's father your DH should have a say so do listen to his concerns but there is no harm in BF for as long as you and your baby want to- in fact there are many benefits.

What would happen if you did wean early because of your DH's feelings? It's likely that you'd end up resenting him and that's not healthy for a relationship. I think a good talk about this might help.

Woodlands · 24/05/2012 10:37

I sympathise, my DS is 22 months old and my DH is making it quite clear that he thinks it's 'weird' to still BF a child of this age. I wouldn't mind winding it down now - however one problem is that he will only sleep in the day if I BF him to sleep and I don't want him to drop his nap quite yet!

WantAnOrange · 24/05/2012 10:56

If my DH suggested this I would just laugh and carry on, but then I am pretty upfront about my feelings with him. Sorry for being blunt, but tell him to grow up, that's what breasts are for!

If you're nicer more gentle than I am then prehaps you could make a list of all the benefits and show him? And I would also point out that weaning is a slow gradual process that happens over an extended period of time. At 24 months the child would be eating mostly the same food you do, with probably one breast feed a day. Would that put it in more perspective for him?

There is a lovely website with pictures and captions from women who have breastfed for an extended period of time. It has such as variety of women, of all ages and professions. It might help to overcome the idea that extended breast-feeding is for lentil weaving hippies only. I'll find the link.

Or go for guilt. Why would take healthy food away from your child, and remove their comfort if it's not necassary?

WantAnOrange · 24/05/2012 10:57

Here's the website

Safmellow · 24/05/2012 10:59

Show him this

A natural age of weaning

Original poster
Ammz · 24/05/2012 13:44

Thanks so much!! fhdl34, i too thought it would be weird from my point of view, have a child (rather than a baby) hanging off my breast all day!! But, same, when it is your own baby (child) it just seems so unatural to do anything other than breastfeed!!
WantAnOrange I did laugh at him and ask him what he thought my body was made for!! He just throws back.. well, i dont agree with it. Its my opinion.
Now.. what do you say to that?!! Yes it is your opinion but i would like some support in my choices regarding the health of our child!
Which brings it all full circle.. "so, i get no say in any of this"

Talk about guilt trip!

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