Very unsettled BF newborn. Please help.

[beginnings]

I don't honestly know whether she's normal and I'm just having hormone overdrive or whether there is something more I can do for her. Should point out that she's seen the GP twice (two different doctors) and both have said she's healthy. She's currently nine days old, is EBF and lost only 6% of her birth weight at Day Five.

Our issue is that she is just SO unsettled. She fed 10 times yesterday including two periods of cluster feeding. The longest she fed for was about 20 mins and the shortest (as part of the cluster feed) was about 3. She averages around 12-15. She feeds ok, it doesn't hurt me, is peeing and pooing (explosively) lots so there's definitely something going in! One of the GPs told me to feed her as upright as possible and I am. She also told me to keep her upright for 30 mins after feeding, and I am. She tends to burp a couple of times and may or may not fart/poo. All sounds good, right?

Problem is that after all of that, she is just so unsettled. She squirms and cries an wriggles like its really uncomfortable and this just goes on and on. Often no more wind comes up. Yesterday she was up from 1030 until we put her in the pram at 1445. Isn't that to long for a baby of this age? Once we got home she only fed for a few mins before the squirming started again. Often when she first wakes up she'll do a big burp (sometimes with sick), or a poo. Does this mean that she's been uncomfortably holding wind all that time? The GP has given us Gaviscon to see if that makes a difference. He's said we should try that for a week or too and if it doesnt work, try something else i.e Infacol.

I've also tried massaging her belly but that doesn't seem to help.

This is epic, sorry, but can anyone give more advice on making her more comfortable. I'm not so much looking for a routine, just a way of making my little girl comfortable.

Normal poo, normal force.....:)

Thanks ladies :) a really very unsettled day that has thrown my confidence again. About to do a walk in the pram to see if that helps.

Met a friend in the park whose little girl is two days older than mine and is apparently really calm. :( But then so's her Mum and no-one's ever called me calm. Funnily enough, the calmest time of my life was when I was pregnant!

She is at least asleep now. Hopefully that will keep her calm for a while. Going to set up the sling tonight.

5madthings first, may I bow to your greatness if your name means what I think it does. Second, yes a lot of it does seem to be that she wants to be held. Although interestingly my Mum put her AWAKE in the Moses basket today and she lay there quite happily for about 15 - 20 mins. My mum said that from a very very early age, my sister needed her own space and was happiest when left for a few mins. She might turn out like that!

Beginnings congratulations!
tictock has given super advice so I just want to add my 50p worth.
I too was very wound up in the beginning and so obsessed with it all being perfect until a friend suggested a baby moon

The two of you snuggled up under a lovely blanket, learning about each other. Lots of skin to skin, bio nuturing position, baby feeding whenever it feels like it, DH providing tea, cake and toasted sandwiches. I had box sets lined up but found I spent most time staring at my gorgeous baby. You have grown this lovely little person and there will be loads of time in the future to worry about things being perfect. Relax and enjoy every min because soon chasing the dog across the floor will be more exciting than mummy cuddles

beginnings, sometimes, some babies do want a little space on their own. The next day, the same babies may want to be snuggled up all the time :)

New parenting is all about picking up these cues and responding to them - you will not always get it right, but that's ok, too. Your baby gets to know that sometimes, mummy gets things not quite right, but she doesn't give up and she eventually 'fixes' things. This is an important lesson for babies - their distress and discomfort is taken seriously, they are worthy of love, when things occasionally go wrong they don't stay wrong!

Sounds to me that you are anxious about 'measuring up' to some ideal, and you are comparing yourself to other mothers and wondering if you are as good as they are...and seeing your baby's fussing and occasional melt-downs as some sort of comment on your mothering??? Some of that anxiety is part of 'new mother' territory, but it's almost always unnecessary and unhelpful. You and your baby are getting closer and more mutually communicative - that's great :) Things will get easier and your confidence will grow.

Oh, and babymoons are great!

YY to a babymoon lovely! And you'll get some rest, too.

yes my name does mean what you think, i have 5, ranging from 12yrs down to 17mths :) but you know what, each and every one of them has been different and taught me something knew :) you know your baby best, its a learning curve, a pretty steep one, and you need to have confidence in yourself.

take it a day at a time, def have a babymoon! enjoy this precious time of snuggles and feeding, it really doesnt last all that long, as each day passes you will know your baby better and she will grow and realise that you are helping her, she relies on you totally and that can be overhwleming at times, so be kind to yoursefl and try and relax a bit :) xxx

the good news is it gets better - mine slept for a couple of hours in a (moving) pram yesterday, and is more comfortable being naked when getting changed. They just have to slowly get used to it. :)

Thanks ladies. We did lots of snuggling on Saturday. Yesterday and today she's less interested. At the suggestion of my mother and HV today, I did try a dummy and much to my chagrin, it did settle her for a while (although not after a big feed). I loathe the look of it in her mouth and tiktok it sends my wanting to Be a Good Mother vibes into overdrive....but it did make her calm.

How are you getting on today beginnings?

Today's a good day thanks Olimpia

The midwife came this morning and she's back to her birthweight :) she is also a breast feeding counsellor so watched me feed. She's very pleased with DD's latch and the way in which she's feeding. She watched her sleeping on me afterwards and did say that appears a bit windy so suggested that Infacol might not now be a bad idea, having been against it on Day Five. I'll discuss with DH tonight. I couldn't settle her yesterday although my Mum could which made me sad. Today is different. We haven't used the dummy today as there hasn't been a need too. The midwife cautioned us to be very careful how we use it if we do.

This thread has made me realise it's more about me relaxing than DD. It's great having my mum here. I think the idea if being on my own with her is terrifying but life will feel very different in three weeks when that's an issue.

Thanks for asking.

Glad things are feeling good beginnings. Dont be dismayed at someone else settling her. I find my dd can be settled faster by someone else as on me she seems to be trying to snuffle my boobs. My other dd was the same and i can remember crying once saying 'you lot all get to just cuddle her whereas on me she only wants boob!'

I know you cuddle when feeding but sometimes i just wanted them to lie there for me and not be wriggling, pawing and grunting at my chest. In fact in hospital i had a contrast dye scan and wasnt allowed to feed so i'd had to pump a days milk in advance. But i couldnt give it cos it sent her wild to be on me with no milk so dh and midwives got to do it no problem.

You're doing brilliantly, the two of you are learning about each other day on day.

It will change and your DD will let you hold her without snuffling for milk. It wasn't until about a month though for me! It did frustrate me because I couldn't just hold DS like everyone else. However, now I can hold him in my arms and comfort him when others can't.

My DS has had spells of bad wind, like last night, but most of the time he's fine. It is hard to watch them flailing around trying to cope with it. I think when you can remain calm about it and not get distressed, the wind comes out faster. Also, sometimes, giving them a bit more boob, helps, as it encourages things to move out one way or the other.

However, these things may not work for your DD. Good luck!