weight - again, am I just destined to failure at bf

[Anaiasmum]

apologies for the typos, I'm one handed typing whilst attempting to feed.
DD2 is now nearly 12wks and I've been watching/reading the other weight posts so know I'm not alone and wondering if someone can help.

DD2 was born at 41+5 by elective cs, i was told induction would fail and as DD1 was breech and also elective cs at 38wks cs was the only remaining option suitable for me.

DD2's birthweight was 3.72kg which fell over the following 9 days to 3.29kg triggering phone referral to paeds and a saga of topping up with ebm (for 6 days) and formula (2/3oz in 3 days) and domperidone for the following 10 days. (inc 48hrly weight checks. From about 2wks DD2 continued to follow the 25th centile. However at wk 6 DD2's weight gain began to fall and has culminated today in being told I need to see GP (she now weighs 4.3kg and is on the 9th centile).

I was at the bf support grp this pm which is where she was weighed after voluntarily contacting them as I had started to become concerned at her lack of weight gain, though all other signs are that she is a healthy baby. (urine and poo output are fine imho). All those that see her (inc the feeding co-ordinator who has dished out this advice today) comment on how long she is, but also how alert etc. (I took her to see my colleagues yest (all nurses with DCs) and they also agreed that she was healthy.

I don't know what I'm asking really. I'm falling apart at the seams. We got to this point (only sooner) with DD1 and she eventually was referred to paeds and we were admitted until her weight was back on track (i.e. formula fed) from 12 wks.

I don't know whether to bother fighting my corner with bf. I know I'll really struggle to express and top up (I'm rubbish at expressing) and I have DD1 to consider. I'm already a wreck after this meeting this pm. I expressed some milk a couple of weeks ago as we've a family wedding tomorrow and I didn't want to be feeding during ceremony. (3oz in total after feeds - took me 3 days, as I couldn't do it after each feed!) I don't think supply is a problem, I'm not a leaker (xcpt sometimes from one side at night) but DD2 does seem to feed well, we get sickly burps, I can hear swallowing, so I know the milk is going in.

DH has said he'll take time off work but thinks she needs to be topped up if that's what "they" all say. I fell out with DM who, at 3wks, insisted that my baby was "starving" so I don't have any family support locally who coul take DD1 off my hands.

Sorry for the length, any thoughts?
TIA

Well that wasn't the day I was hoping for but I will just have to 'man up'.
Dd was weighed this am and had lost weight so we were immediately admitted to hosp.

The long and the short is that we are now weaning! Seems v soon but it was that or a nasal tube which seems a bit ott.
So bring on the spoons! Eek!

As for bf since dd is as stubborn as her mum it seems we're stuck with it and I'm hoping the pressure will ease off and perhaps we'll start enjoying it again.

Oh blimey Anaias - doesn't sound like a good day.

I'm guessing dd's about 17 weeks nearly now?

Have you been given any advice about how to start with the weaning?

Yeah, she's 16wk and 3days. Would have preferred to wait til six mo 17 but I just have to accept that dd hasn't read the rule book and that it's the first in, no doubt a long line of, things that just don't go to plan. Isn't that parenting? :o

On advice We've started with porridge so we might get a bit of sleep - dd feeds 2hrly day and night and tomorrow we'll maybe try some veg or fruit. It was somewhat messy dd can't sit so had to make do with bouncer but after a few spoonfuls she seemed to get the gist.

There's no great urgency but want to see an improvement in weight.

Yeah, you're right about things not always going to plan and weight loss is obviously a real concern.

Avocado is v. high in calories so that might be a good one to try.

Hope things get better for you.

Sorry it's not going according to plan, Anaiasmum - your dd deffo needs not to lose weight, and with proper care, weaning with the right stuff is the right clinical move....and of course you can continue to bf.

Sorry things haven't worked out as hoped :(

But good to have a plan and way forward. Hope the weaning adventure goes well and the weight comes on!

This is so sad to read...Anaiasmum, you are a trooper, not a failure! If you think you're feeling guilty, know that it's not guilt - it's grief. It's caused by hormones. The failure was by all those 'professionals'. I've read through all of the posts and one thing rings out loud and clear...oversupply and forceful let-down. For anyone who reads this after - like me - know that if there's milk, there's a way, and this mother was properly failed by the system. Did anyone suggest that you let the first milk flow into a cup or bottle and then try attaching the baby when it slowed? Green frothy poo and slow weight gain are classic symptoms of foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. Using a bottle after a TT snip can encourage it to re-grow. LLL would have come up with these straight away...whoever said it's beyond the skills of a BF counsellor may not be aware of how well many of them (LLL, ABM, BfN, NCT) are trained. Anaiasmum, you worked so hard at it and have a very lucky baby. She will have gained so much from all those weeks she received your milk - even a little bit brings all those antibodies and enzymes. xx

fruity, it was me who said it was getting beyond the boundaries of a breastfeeding counsellor...I am one (NCT) and I know the boundaries :)

Breastfeeding counsellors can support and inform, but when there is a serious, ongoing issue with weight where medical professionals are involved, a discussion on the phone or even a face to face session will not resolve it.

Very old thread, anyway.....

I appreciate that this is an old thread but OP if you come back, I am ao angry for you that the RL support you have had was so useless, uninformed and pushy.

Hope your Dd is thriving and you feel less shackled. I have had a baby with feeding issues and I can honestly say it was the most stressful thing I have ever experienced.

Feel free to ignore this if you have moved on to a better place (fingers crossed) but in case things not fully revolved ...

Given your family history of allergies I wondered about whether your DD may have/ had cow's milk protein allergy . This can be present in BF babies as well as FF ones. My Ds had this in addition to a tongue tie.CMPI can cause poor feeding, secondary lactose intolerance, strange poo, poor sleep, vomiting, all sorts.

May not be at all relevant but thought I would mention :)

You are a super mum for all your efforts.

anaias mum i have read your thread with total sympathy and want to say whatan amazing job you have done / are doing. i really hope you are able to find peace in this situation.