were your first few weeks of bfing anything like you expected them to be? and if not, do you tell other women the truth?

[Kveta]

met a friend for lunch today (hi if you're reading this :o) and we were talking about the early days of bfing, as for her it is very recent, and for me I have them all to come again with DC2 in a few weeks time.

We both said we'd been told by other people (NCT/other bfing mums/HV/Midwives) that it doesn't hurt if you're doing it right. And nobody we knew had had any problems in the first few weeks. Except they did, but didn't tell us.

I had told her before her DD was born that I'd found the 1st 6-8 weeks pretty grim. After her DD was born, and we were chatting, she asked for more details, and I was able to say that I'd been in tears before many feeds, and found the pain of latching on toe-curlingly painful at times. Today she was saying that nobody else she knew admitted that it hurt, unless they were pressed on the matter, and she felt very alone a lot of the time.

I remember feeling much the same, but luckily had a fab post-natal group on here to tell me it was normal (and to tell me when it wasn't!).

So I was just wondering, did you have those hellish first few weeks, where nipples felt assaulted, toes curled with pain at every feed, not even lansinoh stopped the stinging, and you wondered what the hell was so natural about the whole process anyway? And did it all settle down for you at 6-8 weeks post birth? And do you tell anyone else the truth, or just keep parroting the line that 'it doesn't hurt if you're doing it right!' (if you were lucky enough that it didn't, then :o)

I think I would have found it easier in the early days if I'd known more about how much work was involved in those first few weeks of bfing, rather than constantly hearing that I must be doing it wrong if it hurt. Am I alone in feeling that way?

I should add, DS is 2.6 and still bfed, and DC2 is due in a few weeks, so obviously it didn't put me off in the beginning. But I wonder how many people are put off because it doesn't automatically feel comfortable to nurse their child, as they had been led to believe.

Yes, I told my heavily pregnant friend that bf was worse than labour. This was in the very early weeks. I corrected her once we'd discovered he was tongue tied, and said post division (and healing), feeding was fine.
If anyone asks me now, I say the early weeks were awful, but since both boys have had a tongue tie, I have never had a normal newborn feeding experience.
I happily correct people who tell me I can't possibly feed now they have teeth.

I'd say it was as I expected to be honest. The let down pain took me by surprise, so I always mention that to people, and that you need to feed really frequently. I never had much pain on latching/feeding after the first couple of days though.

I thought it would be easy as so many mothers do it. Was shocked at how painful it was - bleeding nipples, felt like getting cut with glass and dreaded feeding times. In tears with pain a lot and felt a failure. Searched a million internet sites for advice and called up NCT for advice too.

Health visitor was useless (count to 10 she said!) and then she recommended the Breast Feeding Local Meeting - which met last Friday of every month - so only 3 weeks and 5 days to wait for that then.
Also got mastitis to top it all.

Many times I thought to myself I've just to get through the next feed and bought formula milk so I knew I had another option.

Yes it was a nightmare- but got through it (holding breast as if holding a burger rather than let it flop(iykwim) and taking baby off if it was a 'shallow' latch.

Turned a corner on the 11th day and fed her for 17 months! which I'm still gobsmacked at considering the start.

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch! Dig your heels into the carpet until they've been going for a few minutes... Also much worse when dd had thrush in her mouth and I got it around my nips (it was too late for nipple guards)... finally gave in when there was blood dripping down dd's chin instead of milk :( But that was after a month and the HV's didn't want me to stop BF'ing and so I thought, ooh I'll just stop..they'll dry out! How wrong was I?!
I may've had a bust like Jordan, but it hurt to lie down (Even on my back) and DH wasn't too amused when he was woken up by a jet wash of milk to his back

I'm so glad I BF even if for just a little while.. wish I had carried on though really!

I thought it would be easier than it was,didn't realise it was something that had to be learnt by both mum and baby.

When ds1 first born and midwife grabbed my nipple and shoved it in his mouth i really thought my organs were being sucked out of it.The pain in the first few weeks was horrific dry cracked nipples that actually was bleeding, but its really does get easier and it was worth it and went on to bfeed dd and ds2 and i do tell my friends the truth.

If my mother hadn't warned me that it would hurt like hell for the first few weeks, I'd have thought something was seriously wrong. As it was, it was v sore for the first couple of weeks but I counted to 20 very slowly and usually the pain would have stopped by the time I got to 14. Then one day the pain stopped, and I haven't looked back! DD is 6 months and still BF.

Always tell people the truth if thye ask - it hurts A LOT! I think, as you say, a lot of women give up as its another shock to the system that you just don't expect! It does get better but can take a while and you should know that so you can cope as it is almost unbearable at the time... Totally worth it though which is what i always tell them too

I thought I was doing it wrong with my first, and I probably was as it took me fifty or sixty attempts to get him latched on. I couldn't hold him in a comfortable position. I was bleeding, in a lot of pain, and got mastitis twice. I got there in the end, with the help of blessed lansinoh and a book written by the la leche league. And mn.

With babies two and three I was an experienced breastfeeder and I still had moments when I got sore and it hurt. It was hugely easier, and I'm so glad I continued. But yes, it hurt like hell.

stupid Mum to be question alert

Someone up thread said that she stopped breast feeding and hoped her milk would dry up but it didn't. So what happens to your milk if you don't beast feed

It hurt, really hurt, for the first six weeks with my first. I got my latch checked and we were doing it right. It never hurt for a moment with number two.

You can't just stop dead lime, you could get engorged.

I am still BF my DD who is 1 year, and I have never experienced any pain. Guess I am just very lucky?!?! I do have tiny boobs if that has anything to do with it.

If you don't feed or express, the milk will eventually dry up on its own. Takes different amount of time for different people.

I also had that awful pain- turned around for me on 10th day. I literally couldn't believe it- I suddenly had to check if ds was actually latched on! I tell the truth if I'm asked. I think it's important that new mums get as much information as possible, even if it's not all perfect and rosey! So glad I persevered (through many tears), and still bf 10 months on

The first 6 weeks were painful, and then it got much better and I loved it, carried on until 15 months. I tell people about it now. I think it is better to be prepared that it might not be lovely at first, and to have some sort of timescale to look forard to it getting better.

Oh yes, it really hurt. I always wondered about that not hurting if you're doing it right thing. DS and I must be doing something right, he's 18 months old and still BFs 2x / day. It doesn't hurt now .

I remember DS was sick when he was a week old, and there was lots of blood in it. It was mine, ouch.

I tell people the truth, as having an unrealistic expectation might make some women stop BFing rather than continue.

I thought it would be awful but it was ok. Mind you I was expressing from the very start as my ds was in special care. I do remember starting a thread pre-birth asking how awful it would be, so I was pleasantly surprised when it was as easy as it was.

I tell people the truth but for me it was not painful but I struggled with lack of milk, flat nipples and dd1 was just not that interested ( I know that sounds silly). If it was not for one of the midwives in the hospital showing me how to drip formula down my boob towards my nipple while dd was latched on I don't think I would have carried on. As soon as my milk came in after 5 long days it was fine. I remember crying when I read my notes and the midwife had written about my determination to bf. When dd2 was born I was still bf dd1 so thought it would be a breeze. I had no idea of let down pain in the first few days and then I got masistis. I do always make sure I tell people of the great sides of bfeeding though. I really missed it when I stopped 3 years.

I'm 8 weeks in now but oooh it hurt like hell for the first 2 or 3 weeks. That tiny perfect little mouth felt like a bulldog clip clamped around my swollen nip, I remember silent screaming for the first few seconds of every feed, but then one day - i'm not sure exactly when - everything was fine. Then there was the 'I've Finished!!!' ritual she had of snapping her head back whilst still holding my nipple in a vice like grip, thank god she stopped that around week 4.

I tell people the truth, as having an unrealistic expectation might make some women stop BFing rather than continue.
this is exactly what I was trying to say and failing miserably to articulate! I think more people would be happy knowing it won't all be sunshine and buttercups to start with, but it does get better (and if it doesn't, then you should seek further help).

all the stories of blood are a bit grim, so glad I never had that experience - you poor things!

I tend to tell people it may hurt to start with, and in fact the first few weeks will most likely be beyond knackering, but it does get better - and it's totally worth continuing too! wish I'd heard the same before DS, but I am looking forward to finding out new realms of boob-related discomfort with DC2 :o

I thought I was doing it wrong because it hurt so much, my nipples looked horrendous and were so sore I was crying through every feed. All I heard was that if it hurt you were doing it wrong or latch was wrong. I'm not good with groups and such (anxiety disorder) so just gave up. I only lasted 2 weeks and felt like a massive failure

If any of friends got pregnant now I think I would warn them so they didn't give up unneccesarily.

i always tell people how much work it is and about DS1's tongue tie causing us problems. i think the knowing makes a huge difference in giving you the confidence in your body. i thought i knew that I'd have to feed really often with DS1 but the reality was a lot different!

DS2 is now 5 days old and things seem to be going well. this is partly down to experience but also a lot due to reading on here!

i was able to get feeding started by myself in hospital and we knew to just feed him at every squeak. having read posts on here, i noticed DS2 was a bit too sleepy and jaundiced on day 3, so i took him to bed while DS1 was napping and put him skin to skin to encourage him. it worked and he really 'woke up' a bit and fed well. knowing that him sleeping for a long time was not really good and having an idea what to do felt great!

so yes i think it's good to tell people and it makes a real difference.

i have directed people here and to Kellymom as i think confidence and knowledge are really important bits.

Yes, yes, yes. It absolutely screamingly fucking hurt for about 8 weeks and I traipsed all over London with my tiny DD strapped to me in a sling going to bloody breastfeeding clubs and lactation consultants and cranial osteopaths and having 50 people poke my boobs and all tell me different things.

It was miserable and I wanted to give up every day and only bloody mindedness got me through. I don't know if my experience was abnormal but if I'd known it would all just come right on its own, I would have panicked much less.

It got gradually better and easier, although I never felt like a natural and I never really "trusted" it if you know what I mean....cld never quite believe DD was getting enough, despite solid 90th percentile growth all the way through.

Do I tell other mothers / mothers to be? Well, yes and no. I do tell people that I found it really hard and more painful than I expected. I don't tell people that I found it very miserable and had bleeding nipples for 8 weeks because I don't think that's helpful. If anyone asks I also tell them, truthfully, that I had several friends who found breastfeeding very easy and natural and pain free, and they may well have that experience too.

oh yes, i do try to tell them the good bits too.

i fed ds1 for 2 years and it was great when he was older and ill or grumpy too.

it is nice to be a bit more relaxed with DS2, i can do more gazing at him

My left nipple was a bit sore, but that was it. We had it easy, I guess, in terms of latch, supply etc., but I do tend to bang the drum about enduring 5.5 months of colic/silent reflux to any pregnant woman/new mother within a fifty-mile radius.