pigs he sounds a LOT like my DS (also a total daddy's boy!). It is knackering, isn't it?!
anyway, my DS is 2.6 and still gets one feed a day, but we cut down fairly drastically from when he was about 20 months, as I was broken with exhaustion and sick of the toddler in bed thrashing about until he gets his own way every sodding night.
We tried controlled crying, which did not work.
When he was 1, we got him checked by the GP for underlying problems behind his sleep, and found he had an ear infection - he had an ear infection from about 13 months until about 20 months, and it was a pain, for him and us, but at least explained why he needed to feed all night long! (and bizarrely, he hasn't had one since 
)
When he got over the ear infection, and got the all clear from the ENT consultant, I started night weaning (I work 5 days a week, not full time, but long enough days that I needed some sleep occasionally!). We did this by offering water instead of boob for one feed at a time - so 1st week, the 10pm feed was phased out, 2nd week the 2am feed, etc etc. There was some angry yelling and furrowed brows from him, but it was tough. By his 2nd birthday he was down to morning and evening only, and by 2.1 he was down to morning only (also I was newly pg with DC2 by then and it hurt to feed). He still has morning only now, and very occasionally I'll let him have a feed at some other time. I also went away for 6 nights with work when he was 18 months old, and he survived, but didn't sleep well for DH!
Regarding getting him to self settle, well that was a battle, but it seems to be working...
On advice from our HV when DS was about 22 months, we got a book called Teach Your Child To Sleep, by the Millpond Clinic. It has some good suggestions and familiar scenarios for parents of poor sleepers.
We used a technique called gradual withdrawal from that book, and it took a few weeks, but eventually we got him self-settling, and sleeping through 4 nights out of 7! It was amazing. (and also when we foolishly thought we'd try for a second child, oops).
He reverted back to atrocious sleep a few months later, but now we've had a couple of weeks where we put him in bed, say goodnight, and leave the room, and he generally just settles himself down.
But back to the feeding.
One issue we have is that DS does noticeably sleep better after a decent meal in the evening. If he doesn't eat well, he is up earlier, and looking for milk. Does your DS eat well at the moment? if you can try loading him up with carbs before bed (rice pudding is a good one here!), that may help?
also worth instigating a good bed time routine (I know, I know), as ours has worked wonders. Sadly it wakes him up more when he is genuinely ready for bed, but he does at least know that 6pm means bath and then nappy on, pyjamas on, maximum of 3 stories, then BED.
hope you get some sleep soon, and feel a bit better, as lack of sleep is so bloody debilitating.