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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I hate breastfeeding

47 replies

Diamondgirls · 02/04/2012 11:17

I dont regret it for a second and I'm glad I've managed to do it for this long but I feel like it's just taken over my life. I can't leave my baby with anyone because she wants to be fed every hour and feeds to sleep. She is totally dependent on me and I just need a break! Oh and no matter what I try, she wont take a bottle or cup of expressed milk. I'm fed up of smelling like milk and having milk soaked clothes all the time and being woken up all night because DD wants to use me as a dummy!!! Argh. Anyone else? Or is it just me?

OP posts:

midori1999 · 02/04/2012 11:30

Sorry you're feeling like this and good for you for continuing despite it. How old is your baby?

I hated it at first, but for different reasons to you. My DD wouldn't take a bottle for a while and although I didn't really need to do anything or go anywhere, it did make me feel a bit trapped for some reason. I also found I was the only one who could get her to sleep, but now DH gets her to sleep much faster than I can and I wish I could still feed her to sleep easily! It did take a while for DH to be able to get her to sleep, but although she did cry a tiny bit at first (I don't leave her to cry at all, but felt it was OK as he was cuddling her) she soon learnt to let him cuddle her to sleep. Is this something you could try with your DH? Do you think it would help?

Once your baby is older you'll naturally have more freedom as once they are on solids they can have a snack instead of a BF if you need or want to go out. My DD is 9 months old now and a right booby monster, but if I go out for the day she can easily manage without a BF, she just has food and drinks of water.

MigGril · 02/04/2012 13:29

You certainly don't have to love breastfeeding all the time, but is it the demands of a tiny baby that are getting you don't rather then just focusing on how you are feeding?

From what you have said I take it your baby is still quit small (less then six months). It really is such a short time that they are this dependent on you. As Op says even if they woun't take a bottle when older you can leave them with food and drink.

With luck the leaking will settale down with time, lots of women don't even need breatpads when feeding older babies.

ArcticRain · 02/04/2012 13:33

OP , my DD is 16 weeks and I don't enjoy it either . Each week I'm mentally ticking off in my head . I just keep plodding on .

Original poster

Diamondgirls · 02/04/2012 13:35

She's actually 7 months. I seriously thought the hourly feeding would have stopped by now! I have a really fast let down which is why I get soaked with milk. It's really getting me down. It was my beast friends birthday last week and I couldn't even go and have a drink with her. (it's not about the drinking, but bus takes40 mins to get to town, then 40 mins back, which is already 1h20! ) I just feel like a feeding machine.

OP posts:

HereIGo · 02/04/2012 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Diamondgirls · 02/04/2012 13:41

Herelgo, as I am actually able to breastfeed, I do it because it is the best for my baby, and it would be selfish of me not to bf just because I want to go out. And if you read my post properly you would see that I'd already said my DD won't take a bottle.

OP posts:

alcazar · 02/04/2012 13:44

Have you tried breastflow bottles? Our dd was the same, it took a month or so of gently trying to coax her onto bottles as she didnt like the fast flow. These bottles or the medela calma are meant to be good? I offered her the breast first then camly tried the bottle and built it up each day, it took a while but meant she learnt HOW to bottle feed. You wouldnt expect a ff baby to know how to breastfeed and I think it works both ways. If she is 7 months then hopefully she will start taking more and more solids from now. Will she fall asleep in the pram, is there anyone who could take her for a few hours to give you a break? Sorry if Im not much help but I also found this a particularly tough time but once my dd would take even a little from a bottle it got a bit easier and we continued until 12 months.

alcazar · 02/04/2012 13:47

HereIgo if you had actually read the op you would see her dd wont take a bottle. Therefore giving her formula is going to be quite tricky Also, not getting into a bf/ ff debate, the op clearly wants to continue to bf so I dont think your comment is particularly helpful.

ArcticRain · 02/04/2012 13:48

Diamond , you have done well ! I have a really powerfull letdown too . It squirts across the room if I don't catch it when she comes off the breast . I wake up soaked even with pads, but it takes me five days to express for a night off .

I can't offer any advise as I'm not that far along but just thought id sympathise .

Mombojombo · 02/04/2012 13:50

Sympathies here. I don't hate it, but I'm on my 3rd shirt today due to leakage. DS is 6.5mo and I too thought he'd have got over such frequent feeds, and my boobs over liberal spraying by now! I'm in complete agreement that as long as I 'can' breastfeed, I 'should' (and I want to, I'm not torturing myself...) I throw this mantra about willy nilly but do find it helpful:

I breastfed yesterday, I will breastfeed today, I will try to breastfeed tomorrow.

somewherewest · 02/04/2012 13:53

There's nothing wrong with not enjoying BFing. Some people don't. I'm fine with it now, but I'll admit that I'll probably throw a party when its finally over and done .

midori1999 · 02/04/2012 13:59

This may seem obvious, but have you tried leaving her? You may find that if it comes down to it your DH can settle her if he needs to and that she doesn't ask for as many breastfeeds if you're not there? I appreciate not all babies are the same, but this is certainly what I find.

Ihaveaveryleakybrain · 02/04/2012 14:05

I feel your pain. Everyone told me about how many times a day I'd have to change the baby's clothes but not a one said anything about how many blinkin tops I'd go through. What I particularly love is when we are out and he has a paddy at the boob, not only showing my nip to the world but causing the squirtage. Not embarrassing at all...

MigGril · 02/04/2012 14:07

Is she taking solids much yet? Give her another month or two and you will be able to leave her for short periods. You could even try now to see if she'll take food and a drink while you are out. Settaling at night can be a hard one, I must admite to having only gone out with mine once they where in bed and with DD we went out for the first time in the afternoon at a weekend rather then evening as she was a boob monster to.

Have a read of this may make you feel a little better.

kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-breastfeeding-24-7/

MigGril · 02/04/2012 14:08

By the way your doing a fantastic job, it's tough sometime's but your doing the best for your baby which is comendable. Well done.

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 02/04/2012 14:09

There's a bottle which the baby whisperer used to recommend for babies who won't take normal bottles. It's called the Haberman feeder and it mimics breastfeeding. Might be worth a try?

nannyl · 02/04/2012 14:13

Diamond

There have been many many times (most of the time actually) that i foud BFing really hard...

then suddenly at about 5m 3 weeks (when I had decided that at 6m she could have some formula) I decided that i LIKE it!!!! ... my DD is now nearly 7m.... im not sure what changed but suddenly when she was nearly old enough (in my mind) to be given formula i didnt want her to have it anymore.

Well done for doing whats best for your baby, and i hope that perhaps your opinion might change overnight like mine seemed to, without warning!!!!

and in the past few weeks she has gone from waking 2 hourly to sleeping through... she just did it, by herself, so i wonder if having a bit more energy from unbroken sleep helped?

Teaandcakeplease · 02/04/2012 14:19

I finally found a bottle DS would take at 6 months old called NUK. I first tried it on a night feed when he was drowsy with expressed breast milk and then after the first few goes, he took it with no questions asked. I tried dozens of bottles before that. Once I found one that he liked, I suddenly got my life back.

Is she actually hungry every hour? Could you stretch the feeds out to a little longer and keep her distracted with a walk or perhaps a dummy for a short while. She shouldn't need feeding hourly by 7 months old, should she? She may take a bigger feed and be satisfied for longer, if you stretch the feeds out a bit more.

It took time for both of mine to get used to sippy cups, I used to just offer it with every meal and sooner or later they both began to get used to them.

This stage you're in, is transitional, as they're beginning solids and things are changing all the time with feeds. But it will get better.

JasperJohns · 02/04/2012 14:22

Your OP really reminded me of me! My first wanted to feed all the time - he'd drain both side and then want more. I felt like a cow - as a result of all the feeding I had copious quantities of milk and I was so leaky and I felt I smelt sour all the time. I had a 2 second window of opportunity between getting my nipple out and getting him onto it, otherwise - watch out everyone in a metre radius - they'd be sprayed!

He wouldn't take ebm from a bottle or a cup either. I left him for the first time when he was 6 months, with my sister. She had a horrid time and gave him teaspoons of ebm as that was all he would take!

I stopped at 9 months and whilst I missed it , it was only when I stopped that I realised how completely knackered I was. So I sympathise with you. It's a wonderful thing, but blimmin tiring/tiresome at times!

doctordwt · 02/04/2012 14:24

What I would do is hang on in for now - because you should soon be getting to the point where she starts feeding less because she's eating more solids. I would see what happens then - what you might find is that your supply settles down a bit as the frequency of feeds drops (and you get longer gaps and more freedom). It's then you start reaping the rewards IMO - comfort and nutrition on tap for when they are ill/grumpy, but you aren't a permanent milk machine any more. I found at that point that there were never leaks, and soon I could go out having not fed for a few hours and boobs wouldn't turn into rocks etc.! Basically I felt normal again.

I'd review in a month or so. Honestly, this stage WILL be over soon!

DrHamstertoyou · 02/04/2012 14:28

I could just cry with relief that I'm not the only person feeling this way. I love breastfeeding when we're doing it and ds is looking up at me with adoring eyes but blimey it's relentless sometimes. I'm also up hourly some nights, two hourly at most and with 2.5 year old dd spending most nights in bed with me, dh and ds sometimes I feel like I've barely slept at all! Those of you that have been here when does it get easier?

Teaandcakeplease · 02/04/2012 14:37

9 months was when I saw a noticeable difference in sleep at night. But I didn't ever co sleep.

Pastabee · 02/04/2012 17:11

It's so tough when they bottle refuse. I really do sympathise as DD is the same. For me, I want to keep breastfeeding but I wish she'd take a bottle as I think my life would be so much easier and i could have the odd break. Every so often I get really down about it.

My DD will be walked to sleep..... Takes some patience but perhaps worth you giving it a go?

lagoonhaze · 02/04/2012 17:14

Hello OP are you me? I get days when I feel like this too. Ifind it passes after a good feed ( the one where the latch is good and she doesn't struggle)

I have a bottle refuser too. It's hard work!

Gina1981 · 02/04/2012 17:39

Wow you took the words right out of my mouth!! Lagoonhaze you too took the words right out of my mouth!! It's such hard work! I keep telling myself " give it one more week " so I do and still a big struggle. I'm so exhausted! I'd kill for one night off!! DD won't take a bottle either and only takes it from the source!! It's not forever I guess but it feels like it 100 times a day 7 days a week!!

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