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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I hate breastfeeding

47 replies

Diamondgirls · 02/04/2012 11:17

I dont regret it for a second and I'm glad I've managed to do it for this long but I feel like it's just taken over my life. I can't leave my baby with anyone because she wants to be fed every hour and feeds to sleep. She is totally dependent on me and I just need a break! Oh and no matter what I try, she wont take a bottle or cup of expressed milk. I'm fed up of smelling like milk and having milk soaked clothes all the time and being woken up all night because DD wants to use me as a dummy!!! Argh. Anyone else? Or is it just me?

OP posts:

AraaniSwift · 02/04/2012 17:51

"I have a really fast let down which is why I get soaked with milk."

i quote that as i have the same problem, even breast pads dont often hold all the milk escaping from the other breast as i feed, however i was given Avent breast shells which is a brilliant way to collect the excess milk www.amazon.co.uk/Philips-AVENT-SCF157-02-Comfort/dp/B000MMQO60
they have been a godsend, hope this helps you a little with one of your problems .

GEM33 · 02/04/2012 18:57

Im so glad you posted this diamond!! I feel exactly the same, its as if I could have written it word for word!!

I feel like i NEED a break but then when DD is feeding nicely and like you say looking at you you feel warm and smug but the rest of the time Im just sick of the washing the boobs (we get thrush) changing pads, constant thinking in the middle of paying for shopping, "shit have i put my boob away?"!! my friend has just had a baby 3 weeks ago and she says she is tired but her partner feeds their ds in the early morning so she gets a lie in. mine is 4 months now and its not getting easier. it took 11 weeks not to hurt and then dd stopped feeding nicely and its a battle to get her to stay on without sitting herself up. I think i WILLexpress one day and just leave DH to it and see how they get on.
Visions of dd sucking my boobs to sleep at 18 coz she never learned to do it any other way!

GEM33 · 02/04/2012 18:59

Gina - Ive just noticed youre on here!! I wondered how you been getting on from previous threads- obviously its still a struggle!! Im so proud of you!!
I can see now why they used to have wet nurses! !

emsyj · 02/04/2012 19:03

I felt like this, but it does end - it feels like forever when you're doing it, but soon you will be able to go out and leave the baby. Will she drink from a cup? I was able to leave DD from about 8/9 months to go shopping for a couple of hours as she would drink expressed milk from a cup (would spit out formula and would not go near a bottle ) and would eat a bit of toast. She was a late weaner and didn't eat significant amounts of solids til she was 10/11 months, but she took to a cup quite quickly. Worth a try?

GEM33 · 02/04/2012 19:41

AND ANOTHER THING....do your wrists/arms and back ache from holding them to feed.. i feel every oz dd puts puts on..and my sofa sags in the middle where i have literally sat for the last 4 months!!!!

msbossy · 02/04/2012 19:50

Read the advice on kellymom about fast let down. Basically do two or three feeds from one side before moving to the other. This should calm any oversupply (saving your pjs) and means the baby will be sure to get more hind milk and less froth - making them go longer between feeds. Got me to 11 months feeding DD2 compared to 8 weeks with DD1!

dobeessneeze · 02/04/2012 20:07

Have you ever tried leaving her? My DD is 8 1/2 months, and when we're at home she feeds every hour or two, but I can leave her with DP for a few hours and she's perfectly happy without feeding. The longest I've left her has been for 3.5 hours, but even then she didn't seem that ravenous when I fed her, so I think she could maybe even have gone a bit longer! I think she knows that's how I comfort her, but when she's with her dad they're having a lovely time and she forgets about boobs for a couple of hours (thank goodness!)

Gina1981 · 02/04/2012 22:03

Gem your last post made me chuckle! My side of the bed has an imprint of my backside where ive been sitting for the past 20wks!! I'd love to have a massage but I can't lie on my front as my boobs would probably explode!!

I'm still not having the best time with bf! I think I'm enjoying it and then something comes along to keep me on my toes! Not straight forward at all! DD's latch is terrible! My right nipple comes out wedged and left nipple comes out purple! Ouch!!!!

LadyWidmerpool · 02/04/2012 22:13

[Mumsnetty punch on the arm] Well done for sticking at it.

My 7 mo DD won't take a bottle and isn't much good with a cup. She just goes without while I am at work and gets by on solids. And tanks up at night! It was a relief that she would manage without getting upset. Maybe at some point you can experiment with leaving her for a while in the day and see how she gets on. I hate being away from baby but there is a part of me that is glad to get some freedom back.

It's easy to do the right thing when you enjoy it but hard when you don't. You should be really proud.

StarlightMcEggsie · 02/04/2012 22:19

Diamond, I didn't like it much either and I'm very pro. and bf my first for 13minths

With my second I did it for over two years and minded it less but I'm expecting a 3rd now and really looking forward to it.

I think perhaps I'm lOoking forward to my 3rd because now I actually have no life to give up

TerrierMalpropre · 02/04/2012 22:24

It's absolutely OK to not like breastfeeding . I breastfed all three of mine for a year each and didn't enjoy it at all. I was constantly leaking and having to wash sheets and clothes etc. It does get easier when they can have solids and I found that being able to give them a bottle or cup of boiled, cooled water later on was a good way to get them interested in having a cup (the novelty, I suppose). My children are 10, 7 and 5 now so I'm well past the breastfeeding years but I do think it's important to tell new moms that you don't have to like it. I found it messy and time-consuming but I don't regret it. Hang in there .

GEM33 · 05/04/2012 17:27

I think at the end of the day even bottle feeding would stll be hard work with sterilising etc and i suppose when visitors come you arent keen on you can disappear with an excuse!! also all my friends who have bottle fed have all had really coldy/infectiony babies. convinced mine hasnt from b'feeding.

god gina i would have thought by now your dd's mouth would be grown and latch better - you poor thing. cant believe the lactation cons didnt help. bet you have tried everything too! my dd turns nips blue at the minute think she chews on them with teething pain.

re massage, my friend brought her massage bed round to do my back in the early weeks and it was actually more comfortable than i thoughht.
im so fat now though im scared i would break the bed so much for snapping back into shape.

wish she would stay on and actually feed at the minute, she is on and off constantly, i have drawn a picture of a smiley face in black biro on the inside of my arms to try and keep her on !!!

BakingBunty · 05/04/2012 21:09

Another seven month old bottle refuser here... And I share your pain, OP! I have such a love/hate relationship with BFing. I am finding it easier now that DS feeds so quickly and will occasionally be placated by DH rather than boob in the night. But still wish that I could have a break, and a decent kip!

organiccarrotcake · 06/04/2012 17:28

Gosh no, clearly as you can see you're not alone. I loved BFing my first but my second has been really tough due to undiagnosed tongue tie - very painful. (Gina has yours been checked for this?).

He's now 22 months and feeds maybe 4 times a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm now in a situation where I CAN say no and believe me, on the few times he's ill, I am SO grateful for it. I love that it keeps him in bed a bit longer (we sort of co-sleep - he's in a toddler bed next to ours but joins us if he wants to). I love that I get an excuse to sit down and rest (I'm 37 weeks pregnant) if I want it. I do get irritated still sometimes but it was worth hanging in there. I didn't have a choice because mine is cow's milk protein intolerant so couldn't have formula anyway, plus he's a bottle refuser like yours, but to be honest I'd have cracked through anyway (downsides of being a peer supporter/trainee breastfeeding counsellor and knowing too much about why to BF). He was high needs, too, like yours, needing feeding frequently. It does pass though and although it's hell while you're going through it with a tricky BFer, as you've said there are the good times to offset that. I don't think it would be different if FF (assuming she'd take a bottle) other than you'd not be the only one doing it.

You're doing fabulously :)

Gina1981 · 06/04/2012 17:46

Organiccarrotcake, DD had her TT snipped at 9wks but tbh it hadn't made much differences!! I too have a love hate relationship with bf'ding! I'm concerned that I may have low milk supply
In my left side! Is that possible? Agh this bf'ding thing is always messing with my head!!

organiccarrotcake · 06/04/2012 17:53

Just replied on your other thread then seen this :)

It is perfectly possible to feed only on one side so even if your spply does lower it's not a problem, but I'm guessing that you actively taking her off may be causing a vicious circle? You could get the TT checked again. They can regrow or need more snipping. Cranial osteopathy can be helpful to release tension within the skull (sounds worse than it is!) caused by the TT which can help flexion and latch...

tiktok · 07/04/2012 09:21

Gina - it's normal for breasts to produce differently, and some women feel there is a marked difference in supply.

Guess what?

It almost always does not matter a bit :)

xkatxdollx · 08/04/2012 19:48

that sounds exactly like me! i ebf for 6 months and up miltiple times att night for her to eat for 40 but just use me as a pacifier, i started giving her bottles of formula at night and would make her go into her crib awake amd that helped so much if she doesnt take a bottle at least start with making her fall asleep by herself. i give mine a burp cloth because its 100% cotton and she shoves her face in it and falls asleep and i notice if she wakes up at night she finds the burp cloth shoves her face in it and falls back asleep without needing me

lillian13 · 08/04/2012 21:16

I know exactly how you feel. My baby is only 3 months old but she just feeds all the time! she wakes every 1-2 hours at night, I have no social life whatsoever, she has to come with me everywhere i go and i really hate breastfeeding in public.
But i do feel that i have a very special bond with my little one that no one else will ever have and am doing the very best for her. I just love the way she looks up at me when im feeding her with those little eyes.
Just remember its not going to be forever.

xkatxdollx · 09/04/2012 01:17

what type of bottles do you use my cousins baby refused bottles and when she would take them she would puke everywhere until she bought tommy tipee bottles

DialsMavis · 09/04/2012 01:26

Re: fast let down: have you tried lying down on your back and feeding like that? I had the opposite problem in that DD preferred bottles and I wanted to carry on BF. I saw 2 BF experts and really struggled until someone suggested that. Also when my baby preferred bottles I stuck a dummy in her mouth then when she sucked on it I quickly popped my boob in, maybe that would work the other way? she wasn't interested in a dummy at any other time. Or would she take a cup?

DialsMavis · 09/04/2012 01:28

sorry, just saw that she won't take a cup , I expect she will soon. How is her eating? My DD was a complete boob monster but took to food so quickly that I struggled to get milk in her after she was about 8 or 9 months old.

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